So what I'm trying to say
is it's gonna be a fantastic day
just to roll over and bake the other side
a little bit right here on.
You got Machine Gun Kelly in the afternoon.
What I want you to do is turn your radio up
just a little bit louder while you're breathin' sand.
Two more weeks to go
and they're gonna take the chains off
and let us out of school.
Are you ready?
Rock and Roll!
Thanks.
$5 on our candidate.
- John. - Should I be doing something?
Just relax, Grant.
Well, shouldn't I be campaigning or something?
$10 on our candidate.
Trust me, sit back, work on your suntan, okay?
Okay, brother.
Now, here you go, 10 bucks on Christine.
Good luck.
Good luck to you.
- Hi. - Hi.
Grant, go play.
Hey, those Frisbees have your name on it.
Yeah.
That's a great idea.
Thank you.
Oh, lock at that!
Hey!
Wave, wave, wave.
Hey, not me, buddy.
Hey, Bobby, you all right?
Buongiorno.
Bobby, Bobby, what just happened to me?
Grant?
Grant, Grant will you slow down?
Now just slow down a second.
All right, take a breath, and just start over slowly.
Bobby, I'm suspended now.
I'm suspended!
- Jesus Christ. - Well what?
What's happening?
He's been suspended.
He's been what?
How did it happen?
Christine found the note.
Christine Alexander.
Son of a bitch.
- Oh, shit. - Grant.
Grant, Grant, I can get you back in school, all right?
All I have to do is pull some strings, okay?
Look, I gotta run.
Goodbye.
He coulda beat her so she got him nailed.
And just how in the hell did she do that?
She conveniently found Michelson's forged absentee note
in my desk in the attendance office.
What do you want?
Here, I finished your homework.
Thank you, Donna.
See you guys later.
Christine Alexander, you wanna play hardball?
I'll show you how to play hardball.
I'm gonna kill her.
How you doing?
- Good morning. - Good morning.
Hey, listen you got any Binaca?
I don't know look in my bag.
Wow, what have we got here?
What's it look like?
Looks like Darryl Fitzgerald.
Yuck!
You know you're always so negative.
And I happen to think that, uh, that he's different.
Different?
He's almost nonexistent.
Well, I happen to like him.
Uh, uh, besides he, uh, he reminds me of,
um, Dustin Hoffman.
Only got two goddamn weeks to find somebody
to beat that ball-breaker.
Holy shit, man, you better find somebody,
'cause I got 350 big ones bet on this election.
Yeah?
Ask me how much I got bet?
How much?
The bottom line is just on the other side of two G's.
How much cash you got?
Just enough to get a lot of people very angry.
Bobby, what are you gonna do if you don't find somebody?
Move.
And what are you staring at?
You sure are pretty.
You call this pretty?
Wait 'til you see me in some real glad rags, baby.
You'll think your eyes are throwing a party for your face.
Hey, uh, Dean, look, uh, I don't wanna interrupt anything,
but I do have some business to take care of.
Who walks and who rides?
First class all the way.
Drive on, Robert.
Hey, DeVito, just a minute!
You can't park there!
Hey, DeVito!
Not now, Stanley, I'm busy.
That's spots for the handicapped!
Hey, Stanley, I know it's your spot
but you ain't using it.
Hey, DeVito!
Pacific High's annual talent show
is coming soon.
If you've got talent we want it.
Bring your makeup.
Donna, would you move your ass?
We're late.
Okay, okay, one sec.
He's gonna be here.
And I made up my mind I'm gonna talk to him.
That's progress.
Brace yourself, here comes Ratso Rizzo.
Gotta hand it to you, Donna, it's a very subtle approach.
I wasn't too pushy was I?
- I don't know. - Good morning, girls.
- Good morning. - Hiya, Bobby.
Come on, come on, we gotta talk.
Good morning.
You couldn't stand the competition could you?
Grant Michelson,
I hardly consider that competition.
He would have beaten you.
Sure.
Oh, I got news for you, it ain't over, sweetheart.
Not by a long shot.
'Cause I'm gonna find somebody else,
and I'm gonna beat you.
Good luck.
You know something, Chrissy?
I liked you a lot better before
you decided to become Alexander the Great.
Hey, let's give credit where credit is due,
I have finally become everything you ever wanted me to be.
You showed me the ropes, babe.
Just make sure you don't hang yourself.
Hiya, DeVito.
Oh, hiya, Duane, uh.
You know wait a second,
there was something I wanted to ask you.
What was it?
Michelson's out, I bet Christine, you owe me money.
Oh, yeah, you heard Michelson is out,
but the race is still on.
Christine hasn't won yet.
Well, who you gonna get to beat her in two weeks?
Well, I haven't decided yet, pal,
but I'm working on it.
Hey, wait a minute, I bet against Michelson.
No, no, no, you bet for Alexander.
All bets are still on.
- Ciao. - Hey, hey.
Shit.
Cut!
Mrs. Jenkins!
Could you please cut that thing off?
Mrs. Jenkins, I think we oughta forget about this.
What's the matter?
We are professional singers.
You've made a complete farce out of our singing.
If you want us to entertain at the prom
you've gotta make a choice.
It's either us or the Vanilla Wafers.
Come on, girls.
What about us, Mrs. Jenkins?
All right, now, hey.
- Hey, Dean. - Hey, Kevin.
You're just in time, Kevin.
Listen up one more time now.
In the deluxe DeVito Dean The Dream package, gentlemen,
you're gonna get a corsage, a boutonniere,
two tickets to the prom, a limousine,
one of these beauties from the After Six Boutique
in the color and style of your choice.
Hey, gentlemen, I don't wanna push my own package
but that's a lesson in how to score.
Hey, make up your minds
"cause Dean The Dream will say no more.
Buddy, buddy, what I wanna know
is where's the motel room?
- Kevin. - Yeah.
I'll take your reservation right now, my man.
Because with my package all night long
that broad's gonna be grabbing for your, uh, boutonniere.
Hey, hey, Scottie.
Hey, think about now.
No wasting your time.
Scottie!
Hey, Scottie, hold it down, man.
Hey, I was checking you out last season.
I see you still remember all the moves I taught you.
Who taught me?
Dean, you don't never quit, do you?
No, and I never will.
So listen, man, what do you say?
Hey, man, I already told DeVito no way.
Scottie, do you know what it would mean to this school
to have a black student body president, huh?
Man, don't give me that brother shit.
You know politics is a bunch of garbage.
Yeah, well, maybe it is.
But look what it can do for ya.
Hey, I don't need it, man.
I got all the action I can handle.
All I have to is score my little 32 points a game
and I can go to any college of my choice,
and have brand new ride waiting for me.
Case closed.
Yo!
Goddammit!
You know the only people left
in the junior class here are retards.
I've got it.
Why didn't I think of it before?
Roger Hubert.
Roger?
Excuse me if I'm wrong,
but doesn't he have a slight visual problem?
So he's blind, he'll win on the sympathy vote.
That'll be 9.95.
I'd like my change and a nice piece of pie.
We don't serve pie.
Ain't nobody talking to you, bones.
Excuse me, I was watching that guy over
there by the light, and uh, I don't wanna say anything
but I saw him messing around with your bike.
Is that so?
Yeah.
Such a nice bike that I just thought I'd tell you about it.
Keep the change.
I'll get my pie somewhere else.
Thank you.
It's okay.
You have a nice smile.
Thank you, so do you.
I'm sorry.
Here you go.
Hey, I won't tell your orthodontist if you don't.
Hey, man, did you get a date for the prom yet?
Wow, Jesus, Dean, I'm trying to keep our heads
from being busted open
and you're worried about corsages.
Uh, what was that?
Uh, you know, you didn't feel that way about it last year.
Dancing together here at the homecoming ball
are Ms. Christine Alexander and Mr. Robert DeVito.
Let me see that.
That's ancient history.
Okay, Collins, where's your note?
Hey, what are you crazy?
Take care of yourself, you could have a relapse.
Come on, come on, Dean, think of somebody.
We only got a couple of hours.
Wait a minute, wait a minute, maybe I just did.
DeVito, Donna J.
I mean the only person left
in the junior class is your sister.
Are you kidding?
She'd fall apart.
Bobby, what do you want from me?
Dean, I need some help.
All right, man.
Okay, look, I work the halls again.
I'll see what I can do, all right?
Do it, please.
Hiya, Bobby.
Hiya, Debbie.
It's good having you back.
So long, Bobby.
- Thank you. - Take care, Deb.
Debbie Sullivan.
Sullivan.
My car wouldn't start.
41351.
Name?
Darryl Fitzgerald.
Fitzgerald, Darryl.
Any relation to F. Scott?
No, Zelda.
You new here?
I was asking if you were new here
'cause I haven't seen you around before.
Uh, I, I keep a low profile.
Darryl Fitzgerald, where do I know you from?
Well, we go to the same school.
Do you know my sister Donna DeVito?
- Cupid? - Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, she's a nice girl.
Matter of fact I got her in my next class
if I can get out of here.
You know I am late.
Yeah, yeah, right.
You're a junior aren't you?
Yeah, a junior.
And the base angles of an isosceles triangle are, DeVito?
Oh, uh, yes, Mr. Albrecht, uh.
The uh, base angles of an isosceles triangle
are, uh, uh, uh.
Equal.
Good, DeVito, good.
Well, Mr. Fitzgerald,
Principal requests the pleasure of your company.
- Knock it off! - Uh-oh.
Save it for music class.
Well, then, Ms. DeVito, the wondrous mathematician
that you are, you will regale us
with the properties of the parallelogram.
How many sides?
The parallelogram?
These are the toughies, DeVito.
I'll take my pass, thank you.
So tell me who are you voting
for for student body president?
Christine Alexander.
What a coincidence.
That's just what I wanna talk to you about.
Why would you wanna vote for Christine Alexander?
She happens to be the only one running.
Would you still vote for Christine
if her opposition was a bright articulate leader?
Someone one who was sensitive to the issues?
Somebody, somebody who can get this school
back on the right track?
Who do you got in mind?
You.
Speaking for myself as well as a number
of very important people,
we want you to run for student body president.
You're crazy, you're crazy.
I prefer to think of it as inspiration.
Bobby, you better hurry it up,
the election assembly is in 20 minutes.
Come on, Darryl, what do you say?
I, I'd never win.
Why, who doesn't like you?
Nobody knows me.
Perfect, you got no enemies.
I gotta go to the bathroom!
Not now, Stanley, we're closed.
Look, Darryl, somehow, someway
I made a candidate out of Grant Michelson.
I can do the same for you.
Why me?
You wouldn't even have known I existed
if, if I coulda got my car to start this morning.
Look, Darryl, I don't think you understand
what being student body president can do for you.
Besides dressing up your college application
you'll have every thing you ever dreamed of.
Status, clout.
Chicks.
Listen,
You want somebody like Christine to notice you, right?
Well, kiddo, here's your shot.
One of the privileges that I have
as your student body president
is the opportunity to introduce the candidates
in this semester's election.
Uh, right now I would like to introduce a girl
who I know is eminently qualified
to be the president of the student body.
Uh, is a girl that I have a great deal of respect for.
She is, uh, our one and only candidate, Christine Alexander.
Hey, Chrissy!
I had a friend.
This friend was not just any ordinary person,
she apparently had everything that a girl could wish for.
A loving family, lots of friends,
and a 3.8 grade average.
Her parents were very proud of her
for she was truly an ideal child.
She had lived up to all of their dreams and expectations.
One day however my friend started to change.
She suddenly grew bored.
She became fed up with the special cliques.
Ashamed of having allowed herself
to be friends with only those
who locked good enough for her.
People started to wonder about her.
But they never bothered to find out
what was in her head.
Somehow she didn't mind this alienation.
It was if she had found a kind of wonderful inner peace.
She was always alone,
yet she never appeared to be lonely.
Until one day they found her in the girls' restroom.
She had taken an overdose of pills.
I've told this sad account of a 17-year-old girl
who took her own life
so that we could all learn from her tragedy.
When I'm elected I guarantee you will not find
your best friend lying dead on the bathroom floor.
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you.
I have, uh, just been informed
that we have an 11th hour candidate
for student body president.
What do I do about it?
What's the deal?
Bring him in?
Uh, well, uh, I'd like to introduce you to a, uh,
a young man that I'm sure you'll all be pleased to meet.
His name is, uh, Darryl Fitzgerald.
Darryl Fitzgerald.
Hi.
- Hi. - Hi.
Uh, for some reason this situation reminds me
of the time I fell in love with this,
I fell in love,
I fell in love with this, I fell in love
with this extremely beautiful girl.
The problem, the problem was
that she didn't know I was alive.
Ugh, DeVito, you got yourself a winner here, boy.
So finally, finally one day I got the guts up
to call her on the telephone.
And I decided in my mind at that time
that there was one thing
that I absolutely was not going to say to this girl,
and that was hello, you don't know me but.
Hey, you don't know me, you don't know me, but you will.
Yeah, well, forget about that.
What about the chick?
She wasn't your type.
Look, uh, I'm not the most popular person in this school,
but neither are most of you,
so we can relate.
We can relate about the problems
that we've shared throughout high school.
Uh, I'm not gonna make you a lot
of off the wall promises right now.
And that's simply because I haven't had time
to make them up yet.
But one promise, one promise that I, I will keep
if I am elected president
of the student body of Pacific High School,
and that is this school will become our school.
Together,
Together, we will fight the problems.
And together we will arrive at solutions to those problems.
I can't think of anything more to say at this moment
except the name is Darryl Fitzgerald.
Thank you.
Assembly is dismissed.
Looking good.
All right.
Hey, give me my bag!
Oh, wow.
You know they're showing a lot of that color this year.
Yeah, I just love puce.
- Come one. - Wait a minute,
you know maybe I, uh, oughta just try it on.
What for?
You're not going anywhere.
Don't you know that whosever
elected student body president
is invited to go to the senior prom?
Donna, I hate to be the one to break your heart
but I think Christine's taking Kevin.
When Darryl wins, I wanna be ready.
He doesn't even know you're alive.
You don't, uh, think he's gonna invite me, huh?
Why not?
Let's go look at it.
Come on.
Thank ya.
Thank you.
Let's go.
All right, now you're starting to look like a mensch.
What are you thinking?
I don't know, Bobby, something's missing.
You know the look is incomplete.
Hey, I'll be right back.
Okay, let's go over these names again.
Okay.
He's head of the debate club.
He's our link to all the brains on campus.
What's his name?
Freddy Freeman.
All right.
The chick in the middle.
Right here, the one with the short blonde hair.
That's Debbie Sullivan.
She's our link to glee club.
For what it's worth she also happens to be a nympho.
No kidding.
You're solid.
- Cheerleader. - Christine Alexander.
Kid's money in the bank.
Come on, we've got a lot to talk about.
Wait, talk about what?
I'm on my way to the tryouts.
Tryouts?
My football tryouts.
Kevin, I need you today.
What time will they be over?
Will it... I don't know.
Just slow down here.
Just slow down.
It's just that I need you now.
I need you right now.
Well, I could use a little support myself.
Oh, come on, you'll do fine.
You always do.
You don't even know
who's gonna be out there today, do you?
What difference does it make?
Because I'm not competing against
some little sawed off twerp that's why.
- Kevin! - I'm gonna be throwing
against guys from all over.
They got quarterbacks coming in from, from San Diego.
One guy from Bakersfield, the best in the state, darlin'.
And we're all going for those last few scholarships.
Kevin, you never lost a thing in your whole life.
I know Bobby DeVito, I could lose this election.
I need you.
I need your help.
I'm sorry.
Look I know how important that scholarship is to you.
Oh, to me, huh.
I thought it was important to both of us.
It is.
I want it left full in the back.
- Sure. - I don't wanna
lose any length, all right?
Done.
Darryl, do you have any talents?
Sure, I play a mean game of dominoes.
Oh, dominoes.
- The kid's a comedian. - Hey, you know.
Uh, listen, read this.
I want you to know it inside out.
What is it?
It's important.
It's about search and seizure.
Now this could be a make or break issue,
'cause everybody's still uptight
about that bust over at San Fernando High.
Cops came right on the campus,
broke into a kid's locker without a warrant,
found some stash, and hauled him away.
Yeah, I'll read it.
Hey, I'm serious, Darryl.
I want you to know it cold.
Okay, Bobby, I'll commit it to memory.
Okay.
Hike!
Hit it!
Hike!
Hit it!
Okay, quarterbacks with me.
One at a time.
Nice and easy now.
You're first.
Okay, hotshot, the reason you're clipping.
Let's see how good you are.
Okay.
I think your friend Bobby
has finally run out of miracles.
Don't be so sure.
Well, you better win this time
because I bet Bobby $25 on you.
Well, just relax, 'cause I made the same bet
for a lot more money.
- Are you kidding? - No.
And what'd he say?
He told me, "I never disappoint him."
I get it.
Oh, I can't believe.
Don't you tell anybody.
Who am I gonna tell?
Who?
Look.
Hi, pal.
Hi.
Are you coming in?
Hey, all right, man.
Yeah.
Good.
Do you think so?
I don't think so.
Kevin.
What do you think of our slogan?
Alexander The Great.
Yeah, I like that.
Soft sell.
Do you think it's too hard?
I'm, I'm just about order 200.
No, no, go for it.
It's great.
Oh, Chrissy, you know what?
You should call Mrs. Jenkins
about the music for the talent show.
Could I talk to you first?
Oh, sure.
I'll be right back.
What's going on?
I was worried.
Yeah.
Boy, have I had better days.
Well,
what happened?
I'm veer option quarterback,
they wanna play a straight drop back passing game.
What?
Well, uh, what's that?
Christine, I'm not gonna get the scholarship.
I'm not going to Berkeley.
I'm not going anywhere.
What did they say?
They don't say anything to the guys they don't pick.
You just get back in your car and you leave.
Well, why don't you just audition
or whatever you call it at some other school?
'Cause it's almost June.
Like Stanford.
Look the selections have already been made at those-
- Washington. - Schools.
They didn't want me.
They didn't have me on their list.
Well, that kind of messes up some of our plans doesn't it?
I don't know, I thought maybe it
make things a little bit easier for us,
"cause I'll probably go
to some local junior college like Valley.
That way you won't have to drive 400 miles
every time you wanna see me, I'll be right here.
Right in my backyard.
Is it more convenient for you if I'm 400 miles away?
Look, I am not the one who said all that stuff
about coming up for the weekends, and visiting you,
and going out for dinner, and watching you play,
and having a wonderful, I am not the one who said that.
I'm just a little disappointed.
Couldn't you just allow me to be be a little disappointed?
Oh, jeez.
Sure would be nice if you were disappointed for me
rather than disappointed in me.
Kevin, don't act like a hurt little boy.
Hey, I'm not hurt.
I'm pissed off.
Dean,
what are you doing here?
I, uh, I was in the neighborhood,
and I just wanted to, you know I like that.
Thank you.
Uh, and I just stopped by to see you.
I wish you had called first.
Well, I woulda called except, uh,
there's no way I could show you two tickets
to Vegas over the phone.
- Vegas? - Mm-hmm.
You and me the red eye special.
Listen, after the prom Caesar
is gonna put us up at his palace,
and it's gonna be a dreamy style of life.
That's great.
Uh, that's great?
Well, baby, show me how great, huh.
Dean, I wish you had called first.
I have an appointment.
Hi.
James Upshaw, Dean Hampton.
He's with the record company.
Well, we better get going.
It was nice meetin' you.
Yeah.
Ladies and gentlemen, Ms. Christine Alexander.
You kidding?
I can't compete with that.
It's gonna be bozo time.
Trust me.
Ladies and gentlemen, the one
and only, Alexander The Great!
And now to close our show a man
who also needs no introduction
but could use a new personality.
Only kidding, only kidding.
Pacific High's answer to Monty Hall,
Bobby Let's Make A Deal DeVito!
Thank you, Stanley.
Ladies and gentlemen, after weeks of careful negotiations
and great personal expense,
I am please to announce that I have arranged
to bring to you on this very stage
one of the most stupendous sights I have ever seen.
Gentlemen, open the curtains please.
Ladies and gentlemen, let's give a big round of applause
to the current world champion of class triple A dominoes.
Let's hear it for Darryl You Don't Know Me But Fitzgerald!
Maestro, if you please.
What do I do?
Hit the first domino and smile.
Ladies and gentlemen,
your next student body president Darryl Fitzgerald!
My partner, Bobby DeVito!
Thank you.
You're too kind.
Hey, Darryl, how'd you like to pay that electric bill, huh?
Ready, boy?
Take a bite.
So what do you think?
Amaretto and cannolis.
The good life.
To the good life.
You don't have a tuxedo do you?
Why?
What do you got in mind?
No, no, no, no tricks, no tricks.
Let me ask you something.
Oh, shit.
No, come on.
What do you think of Donna?
She's nice, cute.
She's nice and cute.
Does she, uh, turn you on?
Come on, Bobby, she's your sister.
I know she's my sister
but, but what do you think of her?
To tell you the truth, I, uh, never really thought
about her that much.
Well, you should start, she digs you.
Come on, will ya please?
Hey, what do you think,
she's working on your campaign
because of her undying dedication to the school?
I just don't think it's a good idea
to, uh, go out with somebody you're working with that's all.
Sure.
Sure, you'd rather go out with the opposition.
She sure is pretty.
Yeah.
Worse locking chicks in this world.
Hey, just the girls I wanted to see.
Step right up.
I've been thinking a lot about this.
I really think you're, uh, you've been taken for granted.
Jesus.
You make your own uniforms, you make your own pom-poms.
You spend Friday nights out there.
What do you get?
Dates.
I think you should get more than just dates.
Like what?
Like class credit.
Look, uh, it's just a thought, just a thought.
Think about it, okay.
Hey, we gotta stop meeting like this.
I was just looking for you.
I think we should talk.
Sure.
What about?
I'd like to debate you, Darryl.
It's the only fair way to present the issues.
I disagree.
You disagree or Bobby disagrees?
What's the difference?
Come on, Darryl, you know full well
that when Bobby DeVito runs a campaign
he makes all the decisions.
That's not true.
Prove it.
Stanley, Stanley, sit down.
Someone who eats as much spaghetti
as you do should learn this.
You take your spoon, you slide it into the spaghetti.
So you take your spaghetti, and you twirl it,
- and you put in your mouth. - Hey, hey, hey-
- And then chew it. - Bobby, Bobby,
I mean what are, are we working here or what, man?
I mean we're running out of time, you know.
Relax, we've got a great candidate.
- Okay, try it. - Yeah, well in four weeks
time, I've only been able to sell like four limos.
So what?
That's almost half a limo a day.
Oh, you're just a laugh a minute, man, you know.
And you're the one that's plugging up the works.
I mean nobody's got any money to shell out for a limo
because they're betting all their money on the election.
I mean everybody be betting like crazy with you.
All right, all right, don't get the big heat on about it.
Are you okay or what?
Yeah.
It's Nicole, man.
[, I don't know man, I can't figure her out.
You know it's like, it's like, I, I don't know.
Maybe you're leaning in too much.
Give her some room to breathe.
All right, I'll take it into consideration.
Let's get back to this.
Uh, hey, Big B.
Uh, I got something interesting to tell you about Darryl.
Going to the prom, right?
What?
What are you saying?
Didn't he ask you?
No.
Why did he say something to you last night?
Bobby, why should he be asking me?
I don't know, 'cause you're cute.
Bobby!
'Cause I told him how much you liked him.
You did what?
Don't worry about it, I was cool.
I was just laying the groundwork that's all.
How could you do this to me?
Hey, Donna, come back!
Food fight.
Why'd you do it?
I did it for the school.
I think it's a good thing to have a debate.
You have no idea what that woman is like.
I know the issues.
She'll bury you.
Not if I can get her-
You're a novice, a great one,
but you're still a novice.
Now Christine has won practically
every goddamn office in this school.
Believe me she knows what she's doing.
She's a killer.
And I think I can beat her-
- Bullshit. - If you give me the chance.
Goddamn.
I'm going ahead with it.
The hell you are.
I told you not to debate her and you're not going to.
I think I can beat her!
Darryl, you haven't got a chance!
Maybe you're right,
but it's something I've gotta find out for myself,
and I'm going ahead with it.
All right, then go ahead, do it, big shot!
But you do it alone!
Fine, fine, I'll do it alone.
Get out.
Sure.
Let me tell you something,
I'm gonna be a hell of a lot better off without you.
Get out!
You got yourself a real stunad for a boyfriend,
you know that?
Hey, you can't afford to pass this up, man.
The impossible dream can come true.
It's right here at the DeVito Dean The-
- Dean.
Are you free now or are you still too busy to talk with me?
Yeah, sure, come on.
Okay, the floor is yours.
Dean, I'm very sorry about what happened the other night.
Hey, forget it.
You know, I mean I'm with you.
I see things from your side now.
You do?
Yeah, sure.
Uh, I guess I just used to be confused.
You know, I, I thought what was important was you and me,
but I was wrong.
What's important are the real things in life.
You know like Vegas, and the Tropicana,
- and driving Porsches. - Dean.
And Stingrays and, hey, hey, hey, it's okay.
I just had to get hip.
Took me a little while
but, uh, I'm starting to see things real clearly now.
And you don't date people who, uh, you like
or that care about you.
Nah, I mean what would that get you?
You date people who can help you.
But it's okay, 'cause you and I have nothing in common.
Hold it, Alexander.
Ms. Margulies, I have a debate in a few minutes,
and I'm running late!
Unless it's your time of the month
you better hustle back in there!
And this time without your underwear, huh.
- Lesbo. - What?
Yes, mam.
Vickerson, good, good.
Brad.
Ms. Ms. Margulies, she got me wet!
No!
Oh, my god.
This is ridiculous.
What's the rules for the default here?
Come on!
Fitzgerald, would you just relax?
We're gonna wait for her, all right?
What happened to you?
I'm all right.
I'm sorry I'm late.
Let's get on with it.
You look terrible.
What happened?
Everything, the shower,
My, my locker, somebody jammed my locker.
My hair, the water got in the shower.
Fitzgerald, we're gonna postpone this.
Hey, Kevin, this people don't care how we look,
they care about what we've gotta say.
Okay, just look at her she's shook up.
Personally, I think you're the one that's shook up, buddy.
Hey, buddy, you got a smart mouth
for such a little guy... Hey.
- Don't you? - It's okay, it's okay.
- You sure? - Uh-huh.
Uh-huh, just I wanna go on.
Just give me two minutes to get myself together, okay.
All right everybody, we're gonna give Christine,
this thing on?
Does this thing work?
Everybody, we're gonna let Christine
pull herself together for a couple of minutes,
and then we're gonna go ahead with the debate.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god!
I'm on TV!
Kevin!
Kevin, stop 'em!
Kevin, stop it!
- Shut it off! - Shut that thing off.
Shut that goddamn thing off!
This kind of bullshit doesn't just happen.
Not when they're somebody around like you, DeVito.
What's that suppose to mean, Kevin?
Hey, buddy, I'll tell ya what that's supposed to mean.
Stay out of this, Bobby.
Relax, Darryl.
- Just relax. - Hey, this is my ballgame.
I think that you... Take a hike!
- Hold on. - Now just relax.
- Look, I think you... - Hey, this is my ballgame!
- Shut up! - DeVito!
Hold it!
You don't know when to quit do you, DeVito?
You know something, Kevin?
You're right, I don't know when to quit.
And I'll tell ya something else.
Go ahead tell me, I'll love it.
Come on, I wanna hear this, DeVito.
I think your jockstrap is cutting off
the circulation to your brain.
Cut it out!
Stop it!
Stop it right now!
What are you doing?
Come on!
Hold on, listen we got some cops on campus.
Did you guys hear me?
We got squatter cops on campus.
They're in the main hall right now and they got Duane.
Go, move it
Duane.
He was doing anything wrong.
Come on, it's not right.
There's nothing that they can say.
Right here, open it up.
Open it up, Jackson.
What do we got?
We got sweat sock.
We got a jockstrap.
Look at this.
That's not mine, that's not mine.
I don't do that stuff, all right?
I drink a little bit but I, that's not my stuff.
That's not mine.
- Let's go, Jackson. - It's not mine!
- Get out of the way! - You can't do that to him!
- Get out of the way! - You can't just
bust into a person's locker like that.
You don't know what you're talking about.
- Now get out of the way. - You can't do it!
No, he's right, you can't do that.
Let us see a warrant.
Yeah, where's your warrant?
Where's your warrant?
That's not gonna be a damn bit of good
unless you have a search warrant.
You can't use that thing as evidence-
- Yeah, come on, let's see it. - Without a warrant!
Come on!
According to the search and seizure code section 13,
article one of the Constitution of the State of California
which says, "The state may not invade the property
and/or privacy of an individual
unless they have taken the proper legal procedures to do so.
Which you have failed to do!
What is this?
This is known as harassment, which is against the law.
You can't do this.
Yeah, right, it's harassment!
Besides, you didn't even read him his rights!
Yeah, let him go!
Let him go!
Let him go, let him go, let him go, let him go,
let him go, let him go, let him go,
- let him go! - Hey, hey, hey, all right,
- all right, all right. - All right!
Let's see what this guy's gotta say.
All right, listen here, Jackson, you got lucky this time.
We're gonna be watching you, you got it?
Come on, fellas.
Looking good, looking great.
Go vote.
Hey.
Hi.
God, you look good.
Thank you.
How's it going?
Everyone who said they were gonna vote
for me actually did, I had this thing in the bag last night.
Did you vote?
No, I was just on my way over.
Don't let me stop you.
The polls are closing.
Look, I gotta get every vote I can get.
Oh, Denise, Denise, looking good.
Andy, how ya doing, man?
Hey, how ya doing?
Hey, get out your votes.
Looking good!
You really wanna win don't you?
More than anything in the world.
Someday this will all be yours.
Not today right?
I don't know.
I think it's gonna be close.
Why are you such a pro at making my life so difficult?
Always did bring out the best of me.
What I would like from you right now.
A kiss.
A truce.
I'd like that too.
I like your bracelet.
Thank you.
Former admirer gave that to me.
Can't remember who.
Happy sweet 16,
the toughest kid on the block, love, Bobby.
Are you still going to the prom with Kevin?
I hope so.
Save me a dance.
Yes.
Look, I gotta go.
All right, quiet down.
Hold it down now.
Hold it up.
Got some results here.
Hello, this is Kevin Hawkins
at the student council room, RADIO PHS,
with the results from today's student body election.
Here we go.
For the office of student body secretary
the winner is Ellen Scheflin.
Now for commissioner of public safety.
Running unopposed for the third straight year,
the winner is Stanley Lustgarden.
Attaboy!
Now we're getting up there to the office
of student body vice president.
And the winner is Dave Gardener.
And last but not least the office
we've all been waiting for, student body president.
The winner is.
Darryl Fitzgerald.
Way to go!
Christine, Christine, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
I just wanted to let you know that, uh, you're tough.
Congratulations, Darryl.
We'll have a great time.
You know I wouldn't lie to you.
Come on.
No.
Come on, sweetie, say yes.
I'm just not sure.
It'll work out, trust me.
So what do you say?
Look, I've gotta get the door, all right.
Don't make a move 'til I get back.
I'm coming, I'm coming.
- You still there? - Oh, yeah.
Okay, good.
I'll be right back.
Right.
Darryl, hi.
Can I come in?
Look, I'm on the phone right now.
Can we talk later?
Uh, like tomorrow.
No, it's important.
I'll wait.
Come on in.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
Hmm, yeah.
So what do you say?
The answer is yes.
You will.
You will, great.
Terrific.
I love it.
No, I love it.
Listen, somebody just came in.
So uh, I'll work out all the details,
and I'll call you back later.
Okay?
Yeah, I will.
- Okay. - Ciao.
Ciao.
Good news?
Yeah.
Uh, Donna's not home is she?
No, do you wanna talk to her?
- No. - 'Cause she's working.
No, I came here to talk to you.
I wanted to apologize.
What for?
We won.
Yeah, I know but, uh, you know I made it sound like you
had nothing to do with the whole thing
and, uh, that's ridiculous.
You know what we're gonna have to do?
We're gonna have to celebrate tomorrow.
You gonna answer your door?
Yeah, I'm gonna answer it.
Listen, Darryl, I'm expecting somebody,
so I'm gonna have to get rid of you.
Who, who are you expecting?
What are you doing taking a survey?
I got this chick coming by.
A chick?
Who's the chick?
What's the difference who the chick is?
Look, my parents aren't home,
and you could be doing me a big favor by leaving.
Oh, come on introduce me.
Some other time, Darryl.
Ah, DeVito, that's your whole problem
you're never willing to share.
We celebrate tomorrow.
Ciao.
Here you go, Bobby.
Thanks a lot, Frank.
You and your buddies did a great job.
Thanks, little guy.
Take care.
Darryl, it's only high school.
Those kids think that you're a hero, let them.
Look, I had to do something, couldn't let her win.
The main thing is nobody got hurt,
and nobody has to ever find out.
You wanted to win, didn't you?
I am especially pleased to be making this introduction.
Uh, 'cause here's a man who at least for me
has redefined the word underdog.
And this the man you have elected
your student body president
for next semester, Darryl Fitzgerald.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
You don't know me but.
It's hard to believe that was less than two weeks ago.
Now I'm actually standing in front of you
as the president of the student body.
When I was first asked to run
I thought of it as a great opportunity.
A chance finally to be known,
maybe accepted.
I thought it was such a good idea that I stopped thinking
about practically everything else except winning.
Winning.
And it changed me.
Someone tried to warn me about what was happening
but I didn't listen.
Instead I listened to other voices
and uh, I'm not gonna listen to them anymore,
'cause I'm sure they would tell me I was crazy
to turn down being president of the student body.
I was elected, I was elected because you people
believed that I fought for your rights
in a moment of crisis.
But what you and I didn't know
was that the marijuana bust
was a complete fake.
A setup, a setup to make me look good, like a winner.
I really can't be your president.
I never wanted anything more in my whole life.
But I don't deserve it.
I'm really very, very sorry.
We want Darryl!
We want Darryl, we want Darryl, we want Darryl,
we want Darryl, we want Darryl, we want Darryl,
we want Darryl!
Darryl!
We want Darryl, we want Darryl, we want Darryl,
we want Darryl!
I Plop, plop, fizz, fizz &.
Hot as a firecracker.
And Mr. Rodriguez, what is your answer?
Hey look, we haven't got all night
to, to stand here gaping at me.
You could do that later.
Right now what I want you to do is get your ass in your room
and get your tux on, 'cause we're going to the prom.
Hey, wait a minute.
What are you talking about going to the prom?
Darryl, you're the student body president
you have to go, you have no choice.
Look, uh, as far as I'm concerned
it's wrong, I don't deserve it.
Darryl, what you did today took a lot of courage
and everybody recognized it.
Did you?
Listen, Mr. Fitzgerald, this gown cost me
a lot of Super Cupids,
and I'm not about ruin it getting down on my knees
and begging you to take me to the prom.
Besides, uh, today's the day I, uh, got off my braces.
And uh, have no place to go.
Ms. Christine Alexander and Mr. Kevin Hawkins.
Hey, hey.
Hey.
Mr. Dean Hampton.
Mr. Robert DeVito and Stacy and Tracy Wade.
Hey, hey, hey, Bobby.
Ladies, do you remember my good friend Dean?
- Hi. - Hi.
Listen, I gotta tell ya,
I think you make a dynamite couple.
Ladies and gentlemen, Ms. Nicole Henderson
and the Dream Lights.
I'm sorry.
What I should have said was,
was that I think that you are one
of the most fantastic ladies I've ever known.
And I should have said something else.
I should have said I love you.
Ms. Donna DeVito and Darryl Fitzgerald!
Ladies choice.
Would you like to dance?
Yeah, I would.
Am I still the toughest kid on the block?