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Hello?
- Terry? - What?
Dr. Satmani's office is on the line.
- Want me to get on too? - Yes.
All right.
Hi, doctor.
Oh, my cousin, yes.
This is her cousin talking.
The tremor seems to be about the way it was to begin with.
No. It's not the way it was to begin with.
It's slightly better.
- Okay. We'll do that. - Okay, Laura.
Thanks for calling, Laura.
- Thank you. - Okay, bye.
Bye-bye.
I got a tremor in this right arm, and it bugs the heck out of me.
We've never had health problems before.
All of a sudden, we have.
I think we're getting to the point in our lives we've got to make a decision.
Nope, not yet.
I think we have to give our house up now. There's too much...
too much to maintain, really, with it.
We're of an age where I think we're going to have to get rid of it and sell.
This would be a big, big move for us.
And where we go, I'm not sure.
It has to be a decision that we both agree on.
I think we're all set, y'all.
We're going to Edmonton.
The family said that there were some really attractive places up there,
and perhaps we'd be interested in trying to come back there to live.
I'm not pleased about being in the frozen north, I can tell you.
I don't care where we go.
As long as we're together, we'll be happy.
- Auntie Terry has been our rock. - Yes.
And you might've lived far away,
but you were always our rock.
- Yep. - You've been my rock
since the day you were born.
Yeah, it's true.
- If you need us for anything, you ask us. - That's why we're all here.
Just to make sure that you have a good place to stay
and that you make the decision that fits you guys.
We're gonna try to figure out the answers.
- Yeah, you betcha. - Yeah.
And so far, we don't know what the answer is.
They've been in my life since day one.
I was 13. You were 11.
And they've always been Auntie Terry and Auntie Pat.
Auntie Terry has always been a constant in my life.
She's always been the one that was there for me.
She's always been the one who looked out for me
in the midst of all the chaos we lived in.
Auntie Terry and I have this amazing relationship.
It's like she's my mother.
So there's this tremendous bond between Auntie Terry and me.
I love the other kids,
but Diana is special.
She's like the daughter I never had.
It was her that made the difference in my life.
She was there when I was baptized. She was there when I graduated.
She sent me to university.
She was the one who heard me when I said I wanted to be a teacher.
I would never have what I have today without her, ever.
So I owe everything to her...
and only her.
Didn't know they were gay till three years ago.
I felt like I was sort of living a lie,
so I said to Pat,
"The next time Diana comes down, I'm gonna tell her."
She came down, and I was really nervous.
I could see that she was not herself,
and I couldn't understand what was going on.
And I saw Pat say to Terry,
"You have to tell her before dessert."
We had a lovely dinner and still hadn't told her,
and I was getting more nervous because I didn't want to lose her love.
So Pat said, "Well, you better tell her."
So I came back in with dessert,
and I said, "Diana, I got something to tell ya.
We're gay."
She was just shaking, and she started to cry.
And I went and put my arms around her, and I said,
"I don't care."
She was wonderful.
And I said, "You can go back home and tell the other kids if you want.
I don't care.
But you were the one I wanted to know."
Now you can tell your stories.
So since that day, it seems like a great big thing
had been lifted off my shoulders.
Terry, how long have you been together? Sixty-eight years?
- Sixty-five and a half. Plus. - Sixty-five and a half years.
You weren't shocked when I told you?
No. I never thought about it. I looked...
Terry was such a role model to me. It never even dawned on me.
- I didn't really care, really. - No.
- I love them so much... - It didn't matter.
I didn't want nothing to change, and I didn't really care.
Terry, I was brought up by a drunken homophobic, cheating...
He instilled it in me that it was really bad.
Her brother, Tom, my father, used to say,
"She needs to be fucked by a big black guy...
set her straight."
He used to say that all the time. Sober, not drunk.
So I went to Terry, and I said, "He said that you're a lesbian."
And she looked at me and said, "We're not.
Living in the States is expensive, and we're just really good friends,
and we live together."
And I never thought anything more of it because that's what she said.
I have to tell you. When I found out, I was shocked.
I was shocked.
I love my Aunt Terry.
It's just I feel a bit betrayed that she couldn't have told us sooner.
I mean, we've all done things,
but have we lived a lie for how many years?
Sixty-some years.
Like...
But now staring at this now, and this is 2001 when Grandma Rosie died,
Terry and Pat, they put their names on there.
Grandma Rosie confided in me.
She called them the girls, the girls.
You know, living together in Chicago because it's safe to be together,
she figured Auntie Terry would meet somebody still and get married.
So, Grandma had no idea.
Hearing that my aunt's a lesbian is hard for me.
I can't imagine my grandmother. She wouldn't have understood.
My mother wouldn't have understood.
She probably would've disowned me.
Dad and I talked a lot.
I'd come home from ball season
and bring him a bottle of booze from the States,
and we'd have a little party, him and I.
And I had a lot of good times with him.
And I think he knew.
But Dad was a very understanding man.
I love my mother, but she wasn't as understanding as Dad.
And Dad liked Pat very much.
And he told me, "I'd rather see you this way than married to someone
who would mistreat you."
I don't know. When I think of my dad, I cry.
He was such a good guy.
Who I'd like to see be buried here is her husband, Jack.
Terry and Pat should be together.
I'm not questioning that,
but Grandpa should be here with Rosie...
'cause he's out there all by himself.
And now I understand. They... They... All these years they've been together,
and they've hid this secret from us, but they should get married.
Living in sin is not a good thing.
You're gonna have a good afternoon.
You're gonna like this place.
You think we'll like it better than that first one we saw?
Um, well, I don't know.
Depends on what they have to offer, and I think it's all about support now.
It's all about making sure that you're cared for
and that you get the care that you deserve.
- Right. - If something happens to one of you,
we got to make sure the other one's got support.
Whatever it costs.
What if I live to be 106 like Grandma?
Then you can count on me to carry you.
I'll do it.
So far, I don't have any feelings about Edmonton...
except for you.
You know, that's different.
Auntie Pat has been there.
She's been good to me.
If you wanna move here...
I still don't know...
whether she's good to me
because she thinks she has to
because of the way Auntie Terry feels about me,
or whether she's good to me because she really wants to be.
And I mean, that's just the way I feel about her.
I've always felt that way. It doesn't feel genuine for me.
It doesn't feel real for me.
It feels contrived on both sides.
This is going to open up a whole new life for ya.
I hope I like it.
Pat won't let me in and just accept the fact that I'm there.
It's always been this competition.
And just a shade, but not by much.
I think we're both playing a game.
My whole life-work balance thing would be out of whack.
I think we're both playing a game because of Auntie Terry.
This is our standard one-bedroom, and it has a balcony.
You know, for a one-bedroom, this is very nice.
Actually, it really is.
Huh.
- Room for everything, or not quite? - No. Mmm. Not quite.
So on our way, this is our hair salon. And we're going right here.
We have not had any same-sex couples,
but we do have family members that are.
But no residents per se, not as yet.
If there was, would they be accepted?
I believe so.
I don't know if you got a sense of our community,
but everywhere we go, they say hello.
It's all about people.
It's about who you are than your orientation.
Okay.
- Because we are a couple. - Mm-hmm.
I think that's wonderful.
And we're a couple of many, many, many, many years.
- Tell how many. - How many years?
Sixty-five and a half.
So you were pioneers in a time when it wasn't popular?
- That's right. - Exactly. In the '40s.
I think it's a wonderful thing.
What have you got available right now?
I have a one-bedroom. That's it.
- I don't want a one-bedroom... - Everything is on the wait list.
One-bedroom's too small. See, we have to sell a house...
- Yes. - ...which could take some while.
- How is the market right now? - Not very good.
- Mm-hmm. - Yeah.
Not very good.
Auntie Pat's throwing up roadblocks all over the place.
I think that... that... that she doesn't want to come here
because then Auntie Terry will have someone else in her life besides Pat.
She's never had to share Auntie Terry with anybody.
There's Grandma Rosie.
- Yeah. - There's Brian and Diana.
Our family is a good family.
We are there for each other,
but my take on this,
Pat has kept Terry away.
Here's grandpa and Paul.
Beautiful.
I believe that Terry would've been around her family
if it hadn't been for Pat.
So maybe that's where the root of the contention is,
is that Pat stole her away somehow.
Seventy. Gee.
Everybody loves Terry.
They'll put up with me only because of Terry, I think.
They'll put up with me.
So there you go.
Happy New Year!
Come on in out of the cold.
- Good to see you guys. - Hi, Terry. Come on in.
- Hi, Jack. How you doing? - How are you, darling?
I'm great. How are you?
Yeah, how are you?
- Good. - Hey, Jack.
Good to see you.
- Nice to see you. - Come on in. I'll take your coats.
I will take your drink orders. Are you having scotch?
I want to have some scotch and water.
- Scotch and water. - Please.
I'll have a very weak scotch.
A weak scotch.
- With water. - Okay.
But you know the family is there, and we love them dearly.
I know it.
You know, they want us to go back there to live.
I think Edmonton's a lovely city, but my heart's not in it.
Yeah.
It's too cold.
Are you thinking about moving to a warm climate then?
Well, you know what? If you'd come along.
I'm available for travel.
It's difficult to leave your friends.
- Of course it is. - You know that.
I know it. I know.
Remember we'd have these big parties?
Oh, my God. Yeah.
My goodness sakes.
Friends are...
Well, they're everything, really.
Many times, friends are... closer than family.
- Here's yours. - Thank you. My gosh, this looks great.
It's a down-home dinner.
Thank goodness that we met you guys.
- Here's to you, Jack. - Still two guys from Chicago.
- Yeah. - Oh, the best. The best.
You gals came in the '50s or '60s?
Yeah, I came down in '46 and played four years professional.
Okay.
I came down to live in July of 1950.
But for a while, we really didn't care to meet anybody.
We were so happy to be alone and away from Canada.
In the '40s, you had to be very careful.
Well, we had to be so careful in the late '50s and early '60s.
Yeah.
- Yes, absolutely. - Terrible.
Two out of three Americans look upon homosexuals
with disgust, discomfort, or fear.
There may be some in this auditorium.
There may some girls that'll turn lesbian.
We don't know.
One out of three of you will turn queer.
And you will be caught.
Don't think you won't be caught,
and the rest of your life will be a living hell.
The homosexual responds by going underground.
Those were the days where bars that were suspected of being lesbian bars
were frequently raided, and if women didn't have on,
I think it was three articles of women's clothing,
they could be arrested and thrown in jail.
So it was not an easy time to be out.
If you went to the bars, they would check you with a flashlight,
and as you came out of the bar, if you had fly-front pants on,
you went in the paddy wagon.
You were impersonating a man.
I never got caught in any of the raids.
I jumped out windows and ran like hell.
I thank the people of Chicago for their vote of confidence in my public record.
Old man Daley...
put a lot of my friends out of work
because they printed everybody's name and what they did for a living.
Teachers and professors and principals in schools,
they lost their jobs.
There are many stories about people
losing their jobs and committing suicide.
Some of them lost custody of children.
Certainly, divorces, all sorts of things happened
as a ramification of the bar raids.
We never went to those bars.
We never went to a bar.
We didn't want to be sent back to Canada.
They had a raid.
Oh, sure.
You gals were immigrants.
Yeah.
So you couldn't afford to screw up.
We have... We have a green card.
I think parties are the main place that people met each other.
Yeah. I remember going to these parties.
We'd all, us girls, would get in there, and we'd dance up a storm.
The only time you let your hair down is when...
...you went out.
And you were with your own.
Have you guys thought about getting married?
- No. - Yeah. I have.
- I have, but he... - To whom?
To you.
Hey, that's something you haven't told me.
Have you thought about it?
Just the other day, they said it's legal now to get married in Illinois.
- Yeah. - Mm-hmm.
And I said to Terry, "Well, what do you think, my dear?"
She says, "Well, I don't know."
Are you still holding out?
Jack, I'm not sure yet.
We didn't know you were thinking about it. I think it's wonderful.
Well, I think it's delightful.
For me, there's no reason for it.
No? Okay.
Everything is going as it should right now.
Well, I feel the same way, John.
To me, I don't love another person as much as I love him.
There you go.
I feel like John.
- I... We've got everything settled and... - Uh-huh.
- ...there's no reason for it, really. - But... But...
...why not?
We lived in Chicago,
um, maybe 42 or 43 years, I believe.
Michigan Avenue is so pretty right now.
They have boulevards, and in the spring...
I'd like to get on one of those things.
Segways, yeah.
We worked 26 years in the same office.
People have said, how can you live together and work together for 26 years?
We had a wonderful time working together. We did.
We worked for Watson & Boaler, very fine interior design company.
And we had a rich clientele.
When we went to the office, we were strictly business.
We always wore dresses and high heels, and the makeup and lipstick,
the whole thing, always.
We looked like ladies, and I think the people we met liked that.
Anybody who was not gay didn't know. They simply didn't.
They just thought we were good friends, which of course, we were.
Very good friends.
Hello.
These ladies were part of the first tenants of the building.
On a windy day like today, you can hear the building...
- ...creak. I'm sure it still happens. - Here?
- Yeah. - Oh, God, no. We can't hear it creak.
Do you remember there was a hole in the ground?
- Oh, yes. - I remember it was so deep.
We lived right over there. Right in the...
You see that church there? We were very close to that.
About four blocks, five blocks away from there.
- Old town? - Yes.
Oh, wow, yeah.
It's been a while since we've seen our place.
We were on the second floor, and when we found this place,
our landlord said, "I'm never going to let you go."
And he didn't. We were here for 20 years.
We just loved living here. It was great.
Well, the area is so wonderful.
We just walked up here and got the bus.
Get to work in what? Ten, 15 minutes from here, I think?
Oh, my gosh.
You're a catcher.
- I played utility. - Awesome.
So you did actually have to wear dresses?
- Yes, we did. - Oh, my gosh.
- Did you ever slide into bases? - Oh, yeah, we all slid.
We had one girl that did 201 stolen bases in one year.
No man has done that.
Oh, my gosh.
This little card, you know, it's so funny.
Um, when people know that you played in the All-American
and A League of Their Own, the movie, they get so excited.
And then if you give them a card, it just blows them away.
It's so funny that little card has made so many people happy.
And all the girls say the same thing.
So I try to keep a couple in my purse.
That All-American pastime, baseball,
brings out the All-American Girl Baseball League
for spring training at Alexandria, Virginia.
Okay, gals. Play ball.
My dream certainly came true 'cause I can remember telling my dad,
"If I could play ball every day, that would be my dream."
So it happened.
And one of the women who actually got paid to play ball was Terry Donahue.
Terry played for the Peoria Redwings during World War II
on what they used to call the All-American Girls Baseball League.
Philip Wrigley, who had the Cubs,
he had the idea to fill the ballparks with women ballplayers.
So he sent his scouts out through the United States and Canada
for the best softball players that they could find.
He got 200 of them into Wrigley Field.
And out of the 200, he chose 60 girls to form four teams.
And then he chose the Midwestern cities like Rockford,
Kenosha, Racine,
South Bend,
Peoria
to be in the league he formed.
And I can say being Canadian...
that we were very happy that Wrigley included Canada.
There were also a couple of girls from Cuba.
Here's the old tractor.
Oh, my. There's the old farmhouse.
Oh, here's Dad holding me.
I tell you, it was a happy home.
I was born and raised on a farm in Melaval, Saskatchewan.
Of course, I grew up during the Depression,
and there was no money and after you had your homework done,
what was there to do?
So I just went out and played with my brother.
He was an excellent ballplayer,
and I think because of him, made me better because he would throw me grounders,
and, you know, how brothers they want you to miss it,
and he would throw 'em harder and hit 'em hard to me.
So I think that was kind of fortunate for me.
So when the scout came...
...how old were you, and what grade were you in?
When I was playing ball in school,
I was scouted from the team in Moose Jaw
to go in there to play during the holidays after school was out.
When the scout from the States came, I was 19.
And I came down here when I was 20.
I came down in 1946, all by myself.
I didn't know about Chicago, how big it was or anything.
All I know is that I was coming down for a tryout, and I could hardly wait.
So my number came out.
I ran out to shortstop, and then they started hitting balls.
I tell ya, I had a good day that day 'cause I was picking them up like crazy
and running for them and getting them.
And then I had a dirty bounce that cut my eyebrow.
So I went off to the side, and they said, "Take her for stitches."
I said, "No. Put a Band-Aid on it. I'm going back out. I'm not finished."
They brought me back and said, "Gutsy kid."
And then came allocation day,
and I'll never forget it.
It was in this great big room with all the young girls
who were all there trying to make it.
My name wasn't being called,
it wasn't being called,
wasn't being called, and I thought to myself,
"Well, I guess I'll have to go back home and say I wasn't good enough."
And then my name was called for Peoria Redwings.
I tell you, Chris, I was the happiest girl in that room.
I stayed with them all four years, and they never traded me.
These women had clearly laid down a foundation
for women athletes of all kinds who were following them.
Heads up.
Back straight.
And sit.
Even though they had to jump through all kinds of hoops
in order to get to play...
And sip!
...they all had to go to charm school...
Don't slurp!
...and learn how to put on makeup.
They wanted us to look like ladies and play ball like men,
and that's what we did.
This is our uniform.
It had to be six inches above the knee, and they were skirts.
"Tiby" Eisen slides home with a run and a nicely bruised leg.
Better a bruise than long pants, hey, gals?
People thought, "Well, they're gonna go out and have a good laugh.
Women playing in skirts playing baseball."
But when they came out and saw how well we played,
they came back every night.
And in 1948, our league drew a million people.
I think they were feminists.
They were playing baseball, for goodness sake.
Women didn't do that.
They had the courage to do something so different
in a time when "different" was not looked on as something good.
We had a great group of gals.
My good friend, Betty,
we played on the same team.
She said, "Terry, I don't know if you know anything about this.
When these women get together, they like another woman."
And I said, "No, I haven't."
And she said, "I just wanted to let you know what goes on
so you're aware of it."
I'd never heard of those kind of girls.
I mean, I didn't know which ones were which,
but Betty and I weren't taking any chances.
We'd lock our door.
We'd move our dresser.
We'd move our chairs. We'd put it at the door.
Because we didn't want 'em in our room.
I didn't know what to think until I met Pat.
I don't know what happened, but that was it.
It was one of the best days of my life
when I met her on that Sunday morning in the hockey rink in Moose Jaw.
I think I was 18.
She was, like, 22, maybe, yeah.
So it all started back in 1947.
It seems like another lifetime really.
And we laugh because we think, "How can that be?" You know?
So many years, and yet...
it seems like it just started yesterday.
We went skating this one night together.
And at the next corner, she'd go that way, and I go this way.
She said, "Here." She hands me this piece of paper.
I could hardly wait to get to the next light.
It was the most beautiful note that Pat wrote.
And she says, "I'm a reader."
And I read lots of stories,
but I've never known where another woman had loved another woman.
And she says, "Above all things,
I hope it's mutual."
But I wanted to turn around and run back.
We almost got locked in the Catholic church once.
Because there was a sandstorm.
We were walking right down Main Street, and we kissed.
Nobody could see us, because there was a sandstorm.
It was really hard to get together.
It was.
One time we checked into the hotel with no suitcase or nothing.
I can't believe we did that.
And I was very well-known there because of sports.
- And we played hockey. - And we played hockey.
And our pictures would be in the paper. I thought, "Oh, my God.
This is not the best thing to do."
But when I got her out to the farm, that was happy times.
When a holiday would come along,
I'd be so excited about going home, and I said to Pat,
I said, "Well, you come home with me,
And I'll guarantee you you'll have a good time."
So, when she said, "No, I can't do that." I said, "You do that.
You be on that train, and I'll be at the station."
And then Pat came off the train.
And we had a good time.
And in the meantime, I was going with Bill from Peoria,
and he'd drive all the way up to Canada.
And I said, "You can come, but don't bring the rain."
He would come in the front door, and I'd go out the back with Terry.
I was almost married when I was 18, and the young man I was engaged to...
um... died.
Then I was going with another young man.
This is during the war.
Going with another young man who was a pilot, and he was killed.
And then I was going with the son of a farmer.
He was on a tractor that rolled over,
and he died.
All of these strange things are happening, and I thought,
"This is not what I was supposed to do."
That was before I met Terry.
That changed everything.
Yeah.
Patty, you were meant for me.
I think you're right.
But Pat and I both had men interested.
Oh, my God. I was with this guy, this Len guy.
Len and I drove down in 1949.
We traveled with her team for two weeks.
So we watched them play, and it was wonderful.
- I roomed with Terry... - See?
...and he had to stay at a hotel.
And I was a long-distance operator. I could always find you.
This is wild. It was after the season, and you'd bought that old car...
- Yeah. - ...with those other gals.
And they were driving from Chicago back to Moose Jaw.
And that's 1,500 miles...
I found her along the way. And I found a motel, and she was there.
I couldn't get away with a thing.
But I was shocked when the phone rang and it was Pat.
"Hi, Terry."
She nearly flipped.
Len, his mother, and his dad wanted me to marry him.
His sister was coming after me.
His brother was coming after me, and I said, "Terry, we got to leave.
We have to get out of here."
Pat said we were the only two people in the world like this.
I said, "Well, let's go to the States."
We thought it would be easier to be ourselves.
But we didn't know anybody. We were just happy to be together.
I was playing ball. Pat got a job.
And then I went home after ball season to see my dad.
And I told Pat I would be back.
I came back and got a job.
We got this furnished apartment.
It had two rooms.
Had a great big brown old chair that fit the two of us.
It was hard to meet nice people,
which we did after a while.
We were very careful.
Really? You're not sure yet.
What year? What year will you be sure?
I have worried about saying something to Al.
I had five brothers, and I've lost all but one.
And he's three years younger than me, and we're very close.
I dearly love him.
And he loves Terry.
We were on the phone, so I just blurted it out.
I said, "You know, Terry and I have been...
together for a long time, many, many years, I think."
And I said, uh,
"You know, we're thinking about getting married."
Big silence.
And he said, "You can't do it. It'd hurt our family."
I said, "How could it possibly hurt our family?"
He said, "I don't want you to tell anybody in my family."
I thought he'd act this way.
I like Al. He's a wonderful guy, but he's very close-minded.
I said, "I hope you have a change in your heart."
What else could I say?
So, I mean, if we decide we're going to get married, we will...
regardless.
Yeah. He won't sway us either way.
No.
Um, and. uh...
And if he can't accept it, that's his problem.
I can't see him walking away from his only sister.
I can't see that happening.
I was born in Cabri, Saskatchewan,
on September 27, 1928.
And I had five brothers and a sister.
There were seven of us.
We had a really nice farm. We had cliffs.
I used to go up there and write poetry.
And we had creeks, and we had a dam, and some horses.
My dad had a small dairy.
And he delivered milk to the people in town.
I had two brothers who were in the Air Force during the war.
Uh, and my brother, Wally...
he was my mother's favorite child.
He was her favorite.
Anyway, he wanted to be a pilot. He was only 17.
And she signed for him to join up.
And he got to England on his 19th birthday.
Oh, my.
Anyway, he completed all his flights, the whole tour.
Then they borrowed him for one more flight, and he was killed.
He was shot down over Germany.
Mother died two years later...
I think of heartbreak.
I was only 15 when she died.
After my mother died, my dad remarried.
And so I had a stepmother,
and a stepsister, and two stepbrothers.
We didn't think that she was the greatest mother in the world.
They would go away for the weekend,
and they'd lock all the good food in the basement.
What kind of a household is this?
1959, my father and my stepmother were killed
at a railroad crossing.
The train hit them, and they were both killed.
Terry's mom and dad came to the funeral.
They were wonderful to me.
After my mother died, why,
I met Terry's mom and dad.
The very first thing Terry's father said to me is, "I'm going to adopt you."
Terry and her family, they loved me, and they... and they showed it.
And this is what everybody needs.
You felt that you were loved and cared about.
Hey, that's good!
That's how they play. Did you hear?
Yes. It's great!
Okay. We were gonna write you a fun song,
but everything that came to me was just a love song.
- Oh. - Oh, that's good.
Me heart, me heart.
This is a love song.
- Eh? - Yeah.
Eh. That's Canadian.
♪ You are my love ♪
♪ So many years together ♪
♪ Many more to come ♪
I hope.
♪ You are my love ♪
♪ So many years together ♪
♪ Many more to come ♪
♪ You are my love ♪
That's beautiful.
Oh, Chester!
Tammy, I think after that song, we will get married.
Oh!
Okay?
Can I be a bridesmaid?
You can be a bridesmaid.
- Can I be the best man? - Yes, you can be the best man.
Yes!
Oh, my God.
Can we do that?
Yeah, let's do it.
♪ You are my love ♪
How have you been doing with doing the exercises and all?
- Good. - Doing 'em?
I've been doing them.
What are you having difficulty with at this point?
It's the... It's the hip.
- The hip? Okay. - Yeah.
Because you had both hips replaced.
- No... Yeah. They were both replaced. - Yeah.
It's important to stay active because of the Parkinson's
as well as for those hips and just to stay active for...
I like these exercises very much,
and I'll tell you why: they don't go on and on and on.
I want to see how well you're getting out of that chair.
- One! - There you go.
- Two! - That a girl.
- Three! - Get those arms up a little higher.
- Four! - Good.
Five!
Good.
Six!
- Seven! - Beautiful.
Eight!
- Good. Go ahead and relax. - I go to ten.
You wanna do ten? You can do ten.
- Nine! - That's the athlete in you right there.
- Ten! - There you go, Terry.
- There you go. - Nice job.
Bring this foot forwards.
So obviously, some postural changes are normal as we age,
but a tendency with Parkinson's, remember,
is to lean forward and bend over a little bit.
Like an old lady.
Yeah, but you don't act like an old lady, Terry.
Well, you know,
she has days when she's not too bad and then days where it's not so great.
But tomorrow, she's gonna have a second shot,
and we're just praying that this time it's going to help.
Because the first time it did her no good at all.
The pain is terrible, and she's on pain pills.
You know, she's supposed to take one every four hours.
We're trying to spread that out a bit.
She doesn't take 'em that often.
But...
Oh.
My one concern is her health.
I want her to be well. I want her to be happy.
There are so many things now that she's not able to do
because of that tremor in her hand.
So I watch over everything.
I don't want her to be alone.
It's... It's a worry.
What she means to me.
She means everything to me.
Get your cane, and then we'll go.
All righty.
Okay.
I gotta be careful.
Yes. Want me to help you?
What's worrying me is, uh, is the deterioration that I'm seeing...
and the lack of progress that Pat's making in terms of trying to get a plan together
to get them moving.
I mean, she's not... she's not... she's not doing anything.
She's not budging at all.
And I'm getting frustrated with that.
The problem is Auntie Terry wants to move, and Pat doesn't.
I think I'm going to have to do an intervention.
I mean, that's the only choice I've got.
There's nobody home.
- Patty. - Hi, baby.
- How are ya? - Mmm.
- Oh, nice to see you at last. - Where's...
- Oh, my goodness, how nice you look. - Is that little Diana?
Look at you.
- My Diana. - Is that little Diana?
I'm scared to see her, Patty.
- Oh, I'm... I'm doing pretty good... - Hi!
Diana.
That's her little darling.
- Oh! - Mmm.
Good to see you.
My God, you must've been tired.
Oh, my God, it's good to see you.
Oh, it's wonderful.
Now let me look at you.
- She looks wonderful. - You look great.
The last time I saw you guys, Auntie Terry was probably ten or 15,
- maybe even 20 pounds heavier... - Yeah.
- ...than you are now. - Exactly.
She should weigh about 125.
Are you eating?
Yeah, I'm eating.
I don't know if she's eating enough, though.
Yeah, probably not, eh. You got a good appetite?
Well, I been eating... as much as you, Pat.
No.
You've got the frozen dinners now coming in?
Yeah. We have frozen dinners that we buy.
This is the time in your life where you should be having people cook your meals.
You should be having people clean your house.
This is the time...
that you should be not worrying about anything,
and I think all we're all doing is worrying like crazy
over what's gonna happen.
Well, I had a dream.
I dreamt that we sold the place with everything in it,
and that's the way I think we should go.
Oh, I can't do that.
Like these chairs, no way am I gonna leave these.
- Oh, Pat. You... You... - I am not going to leave these chairs.
Those two lamps are going to go with us, that's for sure.
Paintings. We're going to take the paintings, certainly.
All this stuff... There's stuff all over the place.
You can keep your stuff. Nobody's gonna tell you.
You don't have to give your stuff away, but we got to get you out of here.
I mean, I guess we have to figure out what place you want to live in.
Like, do you want to live here or Florida? I know you don't want to come to Canada.
No. You know, Edmonton really doesn't turn me on.
And I don't know why, but it doesn't.
Well...
I loved Sarasota.
Yeah, I like Florida, too.
It's very beautiful, and I have a good time when I'm down there.
But it's no place for us now.
Nice and warm. Nice and green.
And I can't drive.
You don't know how long you can drive, and then you're stuck out there.
You're looking at a golf course
and little stream of water.
Got a little stream of water.
I... That's not the place.
Not the place.
It wouldn't be so bad even if you found a nice place and stay here.
- In St. Charles? - Yeah.
They must have nice places here that you can go into.
They're very expensive.
Yeah, but it's gonna get very expensive anyway if one of you gets sick
and the other one has to have a full-time person in here.
Then maybe we should start looking at places here.
Do you think?
Yeah.
Patty?
I suppose we could. Mm-hmm.
So when you're standing up like this, is it hurting you?
No, it doesn't hurt right now.
I'm playing bridge today at the CU.
Auntie Terry, we got to sort this out.
Yeah, we got to go to Edmonton.
We can go away in the winter.
I don't think you're going to get agreement on that, darling.
Pull up that place that you just mentioned.
Dell... Dell something.
I think it's Delnor Glen.
I can look it up on here so you can keep doing what you're doing.
No. I just want to get rid of this.
That's your pill, Terry.
You make sure you eat this whole thing.
- Okay. - You have to.
- Pat? - Hmm?
If we went to that place today...
Yeah.
...and they said to us...
that there's a spot open next month
that you could have,
we could do it.
No.
Yeah, we could.
Mm-mmm.
We could. Once you put your mind to it, you get it done.
Okay.
I won't sleep long.
Hi, Debbie. My name is Diana Bolan, and I'm here visiting from Canada.
I'm visiting with my aunts.
And I am interested in... in what your facility has to offer,
and I was wondering if it would be possible for me
to come over there this afternoon or tomorrow
and take a look at it while I'm in St. Charles?
All right, you close your eyes.
- Okay? - Okay.
All righty.
Okay.
Okay. Appreciate it a lot. Thanks a lot, Debbie.
- Thank you. - Bye.
Did you find Delnor?
I talked to Delnor Glen.
And...
a one bedroom is $5,000 a month.
Five thousand dollars a month?
And the extra person is 1,500.
So it's $6,845 a month.
- A month? - For one person.
- For two. - For two.
How much?
Almost $7,000.
That's 84 a year.
- Eighty-four thou? - Yeah.
That's a little bit pricey for me.
I don't know. Better to croak, I think.
So I wonder if there's any other places we could phone.
Retirement communities.
See, I thought I had some stuff.
That's not a retire...
Oh, Marlene said she gave you a bunch of stuff.
That's right.
We tossed it out.
- You threw it out? - Yeah.
No. We did not throw it out.
I thought we did.
When was that?
Here, honey. I got it.
I'm gonna look in here.
Now just wait a minute.
What are you doing, Terry? There's a lot of stuff in there.
You better not go in there.
What are you trying to do, Terry?
I want to take another look.
Terry, they're not there.
I guarantee it.
We went all the way through there. There's nothing there.
I want to show Diana what I have.
No, don't.
- Going to. - I don't want you to.
No. No. Absolutely not.
Mm-mmm.
You've known me all my life. I don't know why you don't trust me.
- I do! - I have no motivation, nothing!
- Except to take care of her. - Don't get so excited.
How can I not be excited when you're sitting on all this money,
and you keep telling me you can't afford it?
It doesn't make any sense to me.
Auntie Terry is at risk now.
- I know. - And so are you.
And I don't know why you don't want me to do anything or know anything,
- but I'm gonna tell you, Pat... - Oh, hell.
...what I am is straight-up,
and I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever let Auntie Terry be at risk.
I've been wanting to come down for a year, and you kept telling me,
"No, don't come, don't come, don't come." I come here.
She's 100 pounds!
Your back is sore,
and you don't know how much I love Auntie Terry!
You just don't!
All I want is Auntie Terry safe.
That's all!
- God almighty, Diana. - That's all!
I'm so tired of fighting with this!
I... I cannot believe...
that you feel that I... I'm...
trying to keep anything from you because I'm not. I'm not.
I am not!
When you said that last night, it was like bang, right in the heart!
Just... What did I say?
You said to Terry, "Don't tell her anything."
What?
"Don't... tell her anything. Don't tell her anything, Terry.
Please don't tell her anything."
That's really not true because Pat is...
- No, no, no, no, no, no.. - It's a game.
Well, I think you kind of know, anyway, don't you, Diane?
- Did it... - I told Aunt Terry this morning
I didn't want to see her stuff.
She brought it out anyway.
I looked at it. She wanted me to see it.
I looked at it. She said... I said, "I don't want to see it."
She said, "This is my stuff. I can show it."
You have enough money to go in there, into that place.
You have more than enough money without the house...
over a million dollars!
What is the problem?
Why I ever would've said that is beyond me, frankly.
I can't believe it either, but she said, I think, she's sorry.
Isn't this stupid? I mean, you say stupid things, Diane.
Diane, Pat loves you.
- I don't know why she said what she said. - I don't either.
I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.
I don't need anything like that. I just need her to take care of you.
Diana, please.
I can't believe that you feel this way about me, Diane.
For God's sake...
You know what the most important thing to me is?
I watch you with Auntie Terry, and it's a beautiful thing.
The way you treat Auntie Terry is just like a piece of gold.
And that's all I care about,
and I don't care if you care about me. As long as you care about her...
Listen, will you stop this?
Stop it! Because I do love you, and I care about you.
- Just take care of Auntie Terry. - Now listen!
Now you stop this crazy ranting and raving...
If I hadn't heard that last night, I wouldn't be feeling this way.
Oh, God damn it.
You know that I love you.
Then I don't understand the motivation for not telling me
so that I can help you get everything organized.
At this point, you've got to let me in a little bit, anyway.
I just want in a little bit.
- I just want to make sure you're okay. - All the way. All the way, Diane.
That's all I want.
- You have a headache, Pat? - No.
I have a heartache.
I feel very sad.
- Hmm? - I said I feel very sad.
- Dishes we'll take to Habitat. - Yeah. Yeah
That's a good one.
Bell? Terry, you want the bell?
Yeah, I like that.
Silverware you want to keep, or you want to give away?
Beautiful, isn't it? I wonder what it's worth.
- Bookcase is going. - Yep. Yep.
Dresser's going.
And these pictures are all gonna go, right?
Yeah.
Up, up, up. That's a girl.
I don't know what to do with this ball.
Throw it in the garbage.
I'm not throwing it in the garbage. It's a brand new ball.
I threw out 110 books.
Everything's so dirty.
Oh, ai, ai, ai, ai.
All right.
Peoria Redwings.
- Bend your knees. - Yeah, you can.
- This is going? - No.
It's funny. Look at... Look at all these pictures.
Women and gay guys.
This is all her baseball friends.
Auntie Terry's going to be thrilled to see these pictures.
Pictures of their travels and their friends and...
And I don't even know who these people are.
These people.
They have a whole other family besides us.
They've had this whole other life.
This is just a bunch of...
Oh, my God almighty.
...bunch of stuff here.
Here, Patty, wait.
Oh, my gosh.
Did I ever have a tan.
I can't believe how skinny I was.
Yeah, you look like Lauren Bacall.
Oh, God, you guys liked taking pictures in bed.
Oh, my.
- Look at this. - We were on our way to Cuba.
That's Havana.
You were on your way to Cuba.
- It was spring training. - There's you, Terry.
You had a teacup in your hand.
- This is... Yeah, this is Cuba. - Isn't that funny?
Auntie Terry, you're throwing your hat down to make a catch.
Well, you know a lot of catchers didn't do that.
You were pretty cute, my dear.
I think these look like letters.
Oh.
Holy shoot.
This is something I wrote to Terry.
What you wrote to Terry? Really, Pat?
Oh, dear.
Read it.
I have to cry.
It's called "Always I'll Remember This Night."
"It might have been just one more walk beneath the moonlight hue
But, darling, it meant everything because I walked with you
It might have been just one more night, a single night of seven
My darling, you were there with me
'Twas one more night of heaven
On we sauntered seldom speaking as we passed through Moonlight Lane
Happiness walked there inside me when you smiled and called my name
Hours fled like winged moments, hand in hand, we walked alone
It was one night I shall remember, one more night to call our own."
Ooh!
- Patty, that is beautiful. - Ooh!
- Beautiful. - You know what?
You could put these in a book.
- I mean, they're beautiful. - I think so, too.
My goodness. There were quite a few of them, weren't there?
How come the bottoms are all ripped off?
We didn't want anybody to know that we'd written them...
in case they picked them up to read 'em.
- In those days... - You had to be careful.
You had to be very careful.
We thought if something happened to the two of us,
then our family wouldn't know what we were.
And that... that is true. Isn't it, Pat?
We've known people who have had their families disown them.
- Did you think I was going to do that? - Well, yes.
- Did you really? - She was afraid.
- We didn't know. - She didn't want to lose you.
We... We had to be careful.
- Pat! - Okay.
- Judy! - Darla.
Doesn't that look good?
Crab cake with almonds.
Hold on.
Come on now, roll over.
Roll over, little doggie.
It's still wet.
I feel like we're home now.
- Don't you, Terry? - Yeah. Every day is better.
To see our table all covered with papers and stuff, it feels like home.
We were sort of the reluctant debutantes.
We, uh...
weren't ready to come.
You know, we really loved the house,
and we had such a... a happy time there for 21 years.
We weren't really ready, I don't think...
We needed someone like Diana to say, "We worry about you. You gotta do this."
We needed that push that she gave us.
Because she cared, and she wanted us to be happy,
and she wanted us to be safe.
Yeah.
I think it's absolutely the right choice.
Yeah. I... I feel we were guided here.
There's not one person here that we don't like.
They're curious.
You know, I have no feelings about sharing all those things.
- I don't think it's necessary. - No.
Hi. Come on in.
Aw.
Go give her the... He's giving you a flower.
Thank you, honey.
- Oh! - Nice to see you. How are you?
- Come on in, Jackson. - He's beautiful.
Come on in.
Want to come see the aunties?
I can't believe we're doing this.
- Yeah... - You better believe it.
Happy birthday and all that.
- Yeah, and all that. - And all that.
You better believe it.
- Okay, you guys. Let's do it. - Okay. Here we go.
Let's go.
Cry if you want.
You guys aren't getting cold feet?
No.
Oh, it's beautiful.
Tammy.
- Yeah, I got it. Fuck, I can see it. - Shh!
- And we can hear you. - They can hear you.
Want to say hi to her?
Hey, Tammy.
I love your balloons.
Hi, Tammy.
- We miss you here. - Yeah.
- Wish you were here, Tammy. - Yeah.
Friends...
the brides are indeed ready, so I invite you to gather around
as we celebrate a... it's-about-time celebration.
And it is about time.
And we begin with the words of E.E. Cummings.
"I carry your heart with me
I carry it in my heart
I am never without it
Anywhere I go, you go, my dear
I fear no fate for you are my fate, my sweet
I want no world for, beautiful, you are my world
I carry your heart
I carry it in my heart."
Terry and Pat, you are here today in the company of family and friends
to join your lives together in the sacred and formal
and legal institution of marriage.
Do you, Emma Marie Henschel,
take this woman, Theresa Paz Donahue,
to be your wedded wife?
I do.
Do you promise to love her and honor her
and cherish her as you share your life with her
and to be to her a loving and understanding companion
through all of your days?
I will.
Do you, Theresa Paz Donahue,
take this woman, Emma Marie Henschel, to be your wedded wife?
I do.
Do you promise to love her and honor her
and cherish her as you share your life with her
and to be to her a loving and understanding companion
through all of your days?
I do.
Pat, take Terry's ring.
Place it on her finger and say to her, "Terry, with this ring, I marry you."
Terry, with this ring, I marry you.
And, Terry, take Pat's ring,
place it on her finger and say to her,
"Pat, with this ring, I marry you."
Pat, with this ring, I marry you.
Pat and Terry, with the exchange
of your vows and your rings,
you have begun in law
that which has existed in faith and in love
for very nearly 70 years.
We celebrate the journey you have taken together.
We rejoice that you need no longer call each other cousin...
...at last.
At last, you may call one another beloved wife.
Now, you may each kiss the bride.
- Good. - Oh, wow.
All right.
I want to tell you that this is a glorious day,
and we want to thank everybody that's here for coming.
You have been beloved friends over the years.
And we're very grateful for you being their other family.
So thank you for being here.
Congratulations to both of you.
Thank you.
Cheers.
Best wishes.
Yes.
- Yes, I'm glad you're here. - Me too.
Yeah.
Ah!
Perfect!
She was Terry's match.
We go to a football games.
Cubs game. Baseball game.
- They're your other family. - Yeah.
Yes, that's true.
Yeah, 106.
And Aunt Terry hired a manager...
You look better today.
- I do? - Yeah.
That's because I have on a red shirt.
Are you walking?
With a walker.
Not without it.
Well, then the two of us are going to be a good pair.
Well, we always have been a good pair, Terry.
Yeah.
We now are into our 70th year, so...
Well, when you can move, I've got to treat you really nice.
You always treat me nice, Terry.
You always do treat me nice, sweetheart.
You're a beautiful little girl.
Mmm.
There you go.
There you go, my dear.
- I love you, Patty. - I love you too, sweetheart.
You're going to be okay.
You better be a good girl and eat.
- Mmm? - And eat.
Oh, Terry.
Terry, I'm trying all I can.
But if I can't eat, I can't... I can't eat.
And, up!
Listen, honey. Don't you worry.
Well, honey, you know I worry about you,
and I just want you both to be happy and healthy.
I know that damn Parkinson's is tough to manage,
and I remember what you told me about growing old isn't for sissies.
And so, you're a tough cookie,
and I know you're hanging in there,
but if you need me, all you have to do is call me, okay?
- Yeah. - We will.
And, Patty, promise me you'll phone me if you need me to come down.
Honey, I will. I will.
Okay.
Bye. Love you.Bye.
Bye-bye.
When we thought about it and talked about it,
we decided the best thing to do was to come back to Canada.
There you are. Hi, honey.
- Get in there. - I'm gonna help you, all right?
Get in there, she says.
All right.
- Here I am, Terry. - Okay.
Give her a hug.
Get over here.
Would you like a good morning kiss or something?
- No, not until you... - Not until I sit down?
Yeah.
We've got to get going.
You should talk.
- You're giving it to me today, aren't you? - Yes, I am.
That's okay. I love you, anyway.
Come on, Auntie Terry, you gotta be nice to your little honey.
- She won't even give me a kiss. - How come?
- Terry? - What?
- You want to give me a good morning kiss? - I'm thinking about it.
You're thinking about it?
All right, you tell me when you're ready.
Huh?
I'm looking at the camera.
Here, come on. Give me a kiss.
Mmm...
Is everyone ready? We're moving.
- We're moving? Okay. - Okay.
Oh, there's our house, Terry.
- Yeah. - Oh.
Twenty-six years there.
Twenty-six years.
Yeah.
Loved it. Absolutely loved living there.
- Didn't we, Terry? - Yep.
And now we're going on.
We're in Canada!
- We're in Canada! - We're in Canada!
Canada!
Second base coming up.
Slide. Pshh!
You were kind of breaking the rules back then.
Exactly.
All of us that played ball in the '40s broke the rules.
You kind of broke the rules your whole life.
Yes, I have.
That's why I'm happy.
Right?
- Felt good to break the rules? - Yes.
You're in Canada. You're here!
- Yeah. - Yeah!
But anyway, you guys, you're home with family.
I'm glad you're here.
I think it was a great move because I think that Terry,
especially Terry, needed to be here with family.
I did manage to get them here,
and so now that I've got them here, I'm really grateful for it
and whatever I have to do, I'm going to do.
I just am so glad they're here. I am so glad they're both here.
No regrets.
I'd do it all over again.
I think love is love, and that's the most important thing.
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