Projector Whirring
- I, Alex, take you, Hellen, to be my lawfully wedded wife,
to have and to hold,
in sickness and health,
for richer, for poorer,
for as long as we both-
for better or worse,
till death do us part.
- I have prepared my own vows for this.
I, Hellen, take you, Alex,
to be my beautiful, wonderful wife
because no one else understands me the way you do.
No one knows where I've come from the way that you do.
I want us to have children together,
and I want them to be best friends,
and I want them to play together every day.
I want to grow old with you and have silver hair
and run around and be crazy...
and be there until you die.
- Okay, we're rolling.
- Ooh.
- You know what?
Let's just go to the verse here
instead of the chorus.
- Why do you have to travel?
I'm being- I know it's immature.
- Why do I have to travel?
- I'm not actually asking you this.
- I know. - This is a fake question.
- Okay, you got more fake questions?
- Yeah.
Do you love me?
- That's not a fake question.
- It is a fake question.
I know the answer.
- That's not a fake question. - You married me.
You'd be retarded to marry me if you didn't-
if you weren't in love with me.
I just like hearing you say it, if you felt like being like,
"Oh, baby, I'm gonna miss you so much. "
- Oh, baby, I'm gonna miss you so much.
- And then you can say, "Oh, I'm gonna ache. "
- I'm gonna ache.
- Yeah?
"I'm gonna think about you when I'm singing. "
- I'm gonna think about you when I'm singing.
- And, "I'll feel like I'm starving in the desert. "
- I'll feel like I'm starving in the desert.
- Hi. - Hi, you guys.
- How you doing? - Thanks for coming back.
- Thank you so much.
- Oh, thank you.
- How are you?
- Good, how are you?
- Good.
It's good to see you guys again.
- Yeah, thanks for having us back.
- Oh, yeah, no, thanks for coming.
So whenever you're ready just-
- Do you have any questions?
- Uh, do you want us to, like, mime the stuff of, like,
the headphones or just pretend I'm not putting on headphones?
- Um, whatever you feel comfortable with.
Whatever happens is great.
- Okay.
- Yeah. Don't worry about it.
- It's kind of obvious.
- I just make it up as I go along.
I mean, I don't know what I'm doing half the time.
- Yeah, you do.
- No, I don't.
I mean, I do, but it's just-
- You totally know what you're doing.
- If I had any notion of what I thought might be popular,
I'd do that.
But this is what I do.
This is what I have to work with right now.
- Keep going. - Sorry.
- There was talking back there.
- Um, it's totally normal.
- I make what I make, and that's what I do.
If I had any notion of what might be popular, I'd do that.
But this is what I do.
This is what I have to work with right now.
- You can go ahead and sit in a chair.
- I feel like you'll be more, that'll be-
- You want me to move it or right here?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Okay.
- That's better.
Okay, just keep going.
Yeah, you can grab a chair too, actually.
I really like you guys together so-
just grab a- yeah, exactly.
- We'll figure it out.
That's what you do.
It's gonna be good.
- Oh, you guys, this is good.
It's great.
Are you guys-what, did you want to ask something?
- Yeah, at the very end, I'm not sure whether to, sort of,
like, not patronize him, but try to really make him believe
that he's going to figure it out.
- Yeah, there are a lot of different options
you can explore, but I like-
oh, our-
the playwright's wondering where you're from.
You, yeah. Where did you grow up?
- Where did I grow up?
In Tennessee.
- Oh, baby.
- I know this bra should have some more push up to it.
- Cute. I like that bra.
- I'm totally hanging out. - I really like that bra.
Your hair looks really good with those colors,
all the colors.
Hi, sis.
- Hi.
- Yeah, yeah.
You can just jump back there.
- It's so blonde.
- I just got my roots done today for the shoot.
- It looks good.
Here, come over here real quick.
Good.
That's nice.
I like it.
That looks really innocent.
And I can see your panty line through the dress,
so it looks really nice.
- That's why I wore the black-
- And your belly button.
- And my belly button.
- That one's scary because I've got my shadow in it.
It looks like I'm looming over you.
- Dun-dun-dun.
- I like- ooh, I like that.
- My panties?
- I do like them.
You can't stay.
You can't stay here.
- I know. I see that.
I know.
- You have to go.
- When did she get here?
Why is she here?
- My sister?
- Was she here when I called?
I didn't really call, did I?
'Cause-yeah, maybe when your sister's gone or something.
- Okay, all right, go.
- Okay.
Thank you.
- You don't want the tea?
- Nope. No, definitely not.
- Will you do that baby cry that I taught you?
Your turn.
- Okay.
- Same time.
- I'm creeping myself out.
- I know.
- You're a sick sister to teach me such horrible things.
- I'm a good sister.
- You're a horrible example.
- I'm not a horrible example.
I taught you real- that's a really good trick.
Hey, baby, it's me.
Um, I'm calling- I have a question to ask you.
Um, I was wondering if it would be okay with you if the guy
I'm working with crashed over here sometimes
'cause he's, like, couch hopping and stuff
and he doesn't even really have
a great place-just because we're rehearsing late a lot.
And I just wanted to make sure it was okay with you
if he- if he crashed.
Um, I'm sure-yeah, I'm sure you'll be fine with it.
I'm just letting you be in the know.
Okay, so I love you,
and I hope the tour is going well.
Call me when you get some free time.
Okay, uh...
- Hang on, hang on.
Hello?
- But you've missed the call.
He puts the phone down.
Then from out the door he hears a voice calling him,
his girlfriend, Ellie.
- Hey, Oliver, I need some help.
- With much ado, and much bumping and stumbling,
the duo make their way up the stairs
back into the apartment,
each carrying one end of a massive wooden table.
They maneuver their way through the door.
Oh, he kicks the box he was carrying earlier out of the way.
- Let's just set it down here.
- So just keep going with "Jesus"
at the bottom of the page.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Oh, sorry. - That's okay.
- Jesus.
- It's not important. It's just the words.
- Oh, my God.
Oliver, that's amazing.
This picture of you is so good.
- I know.
- Come here.
- Okay.
- And my phone rings, right?
Hey, that's Eric.
He wants- it's Eric.
He wants to know where we're going.
I told him we might be out.
- Okay, let's go.
- You see, it's hard.
If you were like, "You are amazing," then I would buy it,
but I don't know what's going on with us.
- You were amazing today.
- I believe that. I believe that.
- I was gonna add "seriously. "
- Now I believe you even more.
- Well, I'm good. - And I know it's true.
- Well, yeah.
It is true.
- Alexander,
I hereby christen thee Knight of the Order of the Baked Goods.
- You should meet the person that I'm working with.
I think you guys should hang out.
- Okay.
- Why? - He's nice.
- Oh, that's exciting.
Where does he live?
- Well, he's from Tennessee, but he just moved here,
so he's couch surfing right now.
Do you think it's weird that I offered that he could stay here,
if he needed to?
- Does Eliott think it's weird?
- No, Eliott's fine with it.
- Reload.
Reload.
Whoo-hoo!
You really nailed that one.
Reload.
- Ah!
Whoo!
- Don't make it too good. I'm just gonna get in it.
- I can tuck you in.
- Does this big bed come with a maid?
- I'm sorry, that's dirty.
That's dirty.
- Don't worry about it.
I don't care.
- I have another one right over there.
That's dirty.
- Oh, much better. Thank you.
- Do you want me to just set the alarm for, like,
an hour and a half before rehearsal?
- No, yeah, just kick me.
I'll get up.
- I can do that?
- You can kick me.
I give you full permission to kick me.
- Okay.
Whatcha reading?
- One of your books.
I just learned how so, you know,
I just thought I'd take advantage of it.
Them books on tape were something else,
but now it's just like Reading Rainbow.
- Okay, now you're really uncomfortable now.
- No, I just- - What?
- No, I'm not uncomfortable.
I'm, um...
I'm trying to figure out how to do it and not do it,
you know what I mean?
Like, so I guess we're not gonna kiss,
but sort of figure out how we're gonna, like-
- You know what?
Turn her around to kiss her for now.
- So be like hey.
- Do you have a problem with any of this?
- No, no.
- And if you don't want us, like, watching, we can leave.
- Sure, I mean, if you guys want to...
- Again, I love you.
- I love you.
- And then what happens?
- This place is perfect.
- Yeah, Reggie, you keep reading the lines, Reggie,
and they'll just do whatever they're doing.
Go ahead.
- Say, "this place is perfect. " - This place is perfect.
- Yeah, okay, go ahead. - That's his line, right?
- Keep- yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Oh, he's just gonna say them?
- He's gonna just read them for now,
'cause you guys don't know them.
And that way, you can keep going with the action,
just as an exercise.
- Okay. - Yeah.
- Is Reggie saying the lines- - Yeah, just try it.
Just trust me.
Just try it, okay?
Reggie, go.
- I love you. - Keep kissing.
Yeah, I love you.
No, it's too weird.
- Sorry.
- Okay, never mind, Reggie, never mind.
Okay, all right, all right, start again.
No, focus you guys. I'm sorry.
- A little more feeling. - What?
- Wait, so let's just look at it for a half a second.
Okay, I love you.
I love you.
- Okay, so let's say I put the stuff down here.
Oh, you didn't tell me it was a walk-up.
- Wow, you really are, you're running on empty now.
Right?
Looking in your fridge?
- Okay, right, right.
How much do I owe you?
- 88 bucks and something cents.
- I think that there are-
I think we should just pay attention
to where there are question marks,
because I think that the question marks are there,
you know, people are asking questions.
What I mean to say is that the person asking
actually wants an answer.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- So, Jen, you think we're gonna keep that?
You know what I mean about the highlight thing though,
right, Jen?
- You know you're worried sometimes
about being too zealous?
That that, 'cause you're...
I think maybe you have a tendency
to lay back a little more, just as a person.
I'm not trying to psychoanalyze you.
But, like, I don't.
Like, I always feel like I'm just rushing forward at people,
like my energy just sort of rushes forward at people.
I'm a little, um-
- I didn't feel that.
- You don't? - Uh-uh.
- It doesn't feel like it's too much?
- No, it feels right.
- Okay.
I mean, I can tell that it's not scaring you
'cause you feel so solid.
- Sorry, it's, like- you've got a string.
It's, like, been bugging me.
There.
- Look up there.
Yeah.
More like you're more interested in what's up there.
Put your chin up. Put your chin up.
It's Jamie.
Oh, we're going shopping this weekend,
and you should come with us.
But don't do that.
It makes your chin, like, all...
- All right, try this.
Say, um, say, uh, say um, wait um, "Is everything okay? "
- Is everything okay? - Okay, right.
And what I want you to say is um, "I'm just trying to, uh-
I'm trying to get more of your tongue. "
- What?
- Is that- just go with me, go with me.
I'm trying to make this- I just want to make it so
it's not so, like, perfect, right, like, right off.
- I think it's late in the day,
and that doesn't make much sense.
And what we'd agreed we were going to do is just block the-
- Can I just hear it? - Oh, yeah, yeah.
- I just want to hear it, you know,
and we can get rid of it-
- Where do you want that dialogue to happen?
Bring her back down here,
but then I need you to immediately, like-
sorry can you move your boots for one second-
and then just kind of, like- yeah, however-
I just wanted to see if this is-yeah, like here.
And then- is this making sense?
- Yeah.
- Okay, so wait.
- Should I lock- lock him in or just...
Yeah, I mean, whatever- when he's here you'll-
but, see, now we're so close to the table.
- Yeah, I feel...
- Yeah, it's dangerous.
- Like if we like get into it or something, you know,
like, that's gonna ruin the magic.
- Like, when she's on top of me,
that's when I take her shirt off, then we go down.
Then you...
- Yeah, and then you're on top of her here.
Like, kiss her.
- You can't fake-
No, I know you're not,
but my point is that, how are we going to fake that
at this point downstage?
And even if we're up on the couch, how do you fake that,
unless there's-I mean, the old-fashioned way to do it
is, this couch would be turned around,
and you'd just see them fall behind the couch.
But now it's 2008, and they're in front of the couch,
and they're rolling around, but how do you fake sex?
- If, if...
- Do you see my point?
- Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
- If he backs up, like, if he doesn't have, like,
his underwear down and a full erection, where are we?
- Well, I think we should stage it in a way that it's not-
it's not you know- it's unclear.
- Yeah, but then we're into the old-fashioned thing of, like,
it's behind the couch or it's under covers, you know,
and that's fine,
but I just didn't think we were going as far as-
- However we get to the point where the audience feels
like they're seeing something more intimate and more-
- What are you guys...
- What would I do without you?
Yeah, you could do...
This place look all-
okay, I'm done.
- Come on.
- I'm done.
What time is it?
- I don't know.
- Thank you very much.
- Jamie.
Who you texting?
- It's just the color I don't know if I like.
- Mustard?
- It's not mustard.
It's like a sunshine.
- Like sunshine?
- Like sunshine.
- Would this go down too low?
You know what I mean? Like, is it-
- Just try it on.
- Is it too booby?
- I don't know. I bet you could adjust it.
- Cute.
- I have, like, a rash on my face.
Do you have any products at home?
- What do you want? - I don't know.
I just sort of feel like I need to take care of this now.
- You want to go home right now and take care of it?
- I'm afraid it's gonna get worse if we keep hanging out
and going outside and bopping around.
- Um, okay.
Why don't you, like, splash water on it or something?
- Um, I'll try that.
- Okay. We can go home if you want.
- No, I'll try it-I don't-
I'll try splashing water on it and then see-
or we can just buy stuff, I guess, while we're out.
- Okay.
It doesn't look that bad, Alex.
- I'm a whiner.
- That's fine.
- I'll be back.
I'm gonna go get water.
- Jamie.
Jamie.
- Yeah.
- Come show me which one you want me to try on next.
Inside.
Put your sexy face on.
I don't think that was my sexy face.
Cute.
Ready?
I get really into it so...
- Once upon a time,
there was a family that had two girls,
not twins but very close.
They were the brightest, most wonderful girls.
But they had a problem.
They could only be together,
and they didn't like always being together.
But they had to be.
They always had fun,
but sometimes they would run apart,
and the magnetism would smash them back together.
So one sister said,
"I need to...
die. "
And the other sister said, "Don't die.
"We can find a way to stay together always
and be ourselves. "
- Okay, so now this is when I need you to get his shirt off.
Now when you're kissing her, just stay on the upstage side.
Go in for a kiss.
Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
Perfect.
It would be even great if you could-yeah.
I mean just a little.
Sorry, go ahead.
I know, it's awkward.
Now go down this way.
So her face is downstage.
Her face is closer to the audience.
- See what I mean? - Okay.
- Now go.
Sorry.
Yeah, perfect.
- Okay, so then...
- What?
- Oh, down this way.
- So the bra is off.
Put your hands here.
- You got it.
- Yeah, yeah.
And then...
- Like, I can't turn the chemistry off
or, like, I can't stop having this body
that feels really good
when it's close to somebody, whether I'm...
- Married to them or not?
- Yeah.
- It's good.
It's really good what you're doing.
- My chest hurts.
- My chest always hurts.
- Really?
- Yeah.
You're a vessel.
I'm sorry.
- I'm exhausted trying to, like, love my husband...
- And be an actress all at the same time.
- He's gonna see that I'm not normal.
- He married an actress.
Don't worry about it.
Just do your work.
Show up.
You know, enjoy the chemistry you have when you have it.
It's your secret.
It's not anybody else's business.
The rest of it will work itself out.
These things pass.
Okay?
- Got that?
- Mm-hmm.
- For some reason, I started taking pictures
of all the pizza boxes that we saw when we were on tour,
because there's so much, so many pizza boxes that I thought,
I don't know, somehow it's like a series
that I should start putting together.
Do you know what I'm saying?
No, this is not interesting to you at all.
- Um, no, it is.
I like it.
What are you doing there?
- I can't reach.
- You can't reach? I'm right here.
- Oh, my gosh,
you're supposed to meet me halfway there.
- But you were so far more than halfway
that I thought you were, like, coming in to kiss me.
- Right, and you were leaning back.
Taking it easy, eh?
Taking it easy.
Let me do all the work.
- I'm tired.
Why are you giving me a hard time?
Hello, hello.
- Hello.
- Your shirt's a little small.
You should let me have it.
- You can have it.
- Your hand is cold.
- Going to bed?
- Will you get in your PJs and spoon me?
- I have to pee.
- What?
- I have to pee.
- Refreshing, right?
- What is it?
- Beautiful.
Yep, okay.
Five, five seconds.
1, 2, 3, 4.
Okay.
I'll call you at 6:00.
- Stay.
- I'll call you at 6:00.
Ah!
Okay, I'm glad you're back.
- Well, you know, yeah, I think...
- Okay, we need to make the choice then.
Okay, you need to be standing up.
Stand up.
Go back.
- If you are flirting and you're not supposed to be,
what you would do is everything to not,
you know what I mean?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yes.
- You'd be finding, like, little ways to-
and that's why people, like, drop stuff or...
- Right, right, right, yeah, yeah.
- Because it's hard to focus when you really want to be-
you know, when you're really attracted to somebody.
- Right? - Right.
- As I recall.
- Right.
- Okay.
You guys would know better than me at this point in your lives.
Okay.
All right, let's go.
- This is better.
- Yeah. - Right? I mean...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I can't take it anymore.
- Yeah. - Okay, go ahead.
- I feel so much better.
It's like I just lost like 30 pounds.
- You look so pretty.
- Okay, all right, good.
All right, let's go.
- Aw.
- Can I have a hug?
- Save it for the scene.
- What's the ukulele for, champ?
Is that a prop?
- What? - Is that a prop?
A prop ukulele?
Is that a real- are you playing that?
- I mean, I'm not- I don't know how to play.
I'm trying to teach myself to play.
So I mean, I just picked it up at-
- He could teach you.
- What? - He could teach you.
- I can play the ukulele.
- No, I mean I just kind of wanted to teach myself.
I mean, yeah, I'm sure you could teach me, but like-
- You can figure it out.
- I just-I don't know- something about learning
to play yourself.
- What?
- This is the World's Fair park that they built in 1964,
and this is, like, the tennis courts.
And there's, like, this cool statue here.
And, like, I have done this, where you, like,
go get lemon ice
and you sit in here and you, like, watch these little kids
play tennis, 'cause there's, like,
a really cool city tennis program
that Billie Jean King started.
- Uh-huh.
- She gets up from the couch,
walks around behind him as he opens the computer.
She bites her lip, trying not to laugh as she watches him.
He raises his eyebrows and laughs.
Very nice.
That's going on my desktop.
- Her arms slide around his waist and his chest.
- You're not so lonely anymore
- Okay.
- There's something new in your drawers
- Put me in your arms.
Hey.
They kiss without separating.
- Over and over
- They make their way to the sofa,
and he undoes the buttons on her shirt.
I love you.
- You and your new shoes
- He undoes the next button, looking directly into her eyes.
- I love you.
- I'll stay the same, but you change
- Each other?
- For the worst
You are good, and you are kind, and you are wise
- That's not-
- Each other?
- Of course not.
- A familiar ding rings out in the computer.
An incoming e-mail.
We've got a signal.
- Making my face turn red
- I'm cold.
- Oliver fumbles around in the box next to the bed
and pulls out a blanket.
Ellie takes her shirt off the rest of the way.
Take it off.
Wraps herself in the blanket.
Another ding from the computer.
- We can check it.
- Oliver's cell phone begins to ring.
He takes his shirt off and lies on the couch with Ellie.
- I see I'm losing your love forever
- He can't have him.
He's mine.
Mine.
- And then a light.
Now there's a lamp hanging directly over them.
They're quiet.
They begin making love.
The computer continues to beep and ding and fade out.
- New shoes and nubile for a week
Then they are something to keep
- So there you go.
- I like it. It's better.
- Yeah?
- You are good, you are kind, you are wise
You are good, you are kind, you are mine
- Do you know about this guy, Eugene Schieffelin?
- Mm-mmm.
- He was, like, a drug manufacturer in the 1890s,
and he loved Shakespeare, so he...
he thought that all the birds in Shakespeare
should be represented in North America,
so he released 40 starlings into Central Park.
- Hm.
- Now there are hundreds of millions of starlings,
and, you know, they thrived.
And they drove all of these other birds
out of their natural habitats,
and they descend on farmers' crops and,
like, eat up all the harvest.
They-flocks of millions of them
get sucked into jet engines and, like, planes crash.
- We're gonna go see a movie. You want to come with us?
- Is there milk somewhere?
- Um, there should be.
- Yeah, well, there's not.
So you can just eat it.
Just eat it.
- Okay.
You want to come with us?
- Uh...
- She's got stuff to do.
- Yeah. - Don't ask.
Don't ask?
Why?
- 'Cause she may- it might be personal.
- I'm glad he left his heart here in your kitchen bowl.
- I know.
I'm glad he's here.
- Matt's back.
- Welcome back.
- Um...
- Let's shower. - Yeah.
- And then go.
- Okay.
Stick.
Ew, ew.
Forehead grease.
Ha!
- Let's go take a shower.
- I have a problem with it
because I know that you fucking fuck people,
and then you just toss them out.
- Why are you so mad right now?
- You just wait till you get people-
no, you just wait till you get people to love you,
and then you're done with them.
It's like a game for you.
- Yeah, it's a game.
It's a game for me.
It's a real game.
- Yes, it's a "real game. "
- What kind of game are you playing with fucking Jamie?
- What are you talking about?
- "What are you talking about? "
You're a really great actress, aren't you?
You're a really fucking good actress.
I don't even believe a fucking word you're saying right now.
I don't believe-you know what, if you can't-
- I'm not gonna take relationship advice from you.
- Oh, you're not gonna take relationship advice from me?
- Because you have a fucking great marriage.
- You're with a fucking dick,
someone who treats you like shit.
Why would you put up with that?
- Really, why are you-
- Stop yelling at me. - I'm yelling at you?
- Shut up! - Get the fuck out of my face.
Get the fuck out of my house.
- Stop yelling at me.
- And then add the last bits to it.
- Like a shoelace that's tied
We're two ends of a common thread
We have loved till we cried
And spent countless hours in bed
Sure as this song is sung
Know that you are the one
Is this humble pride
I am by your side
- So how do you like this outfit?
- It's fitting.
It fits you.
Um, okay, all right.
Thank you.
- Okay, no problem.
Thank you.
- Sure.
- I used to go to a gym in Melbourne,
and it was also the gym that, like,
the big football team in my area would go to.
- Uh-huh.
- And so my sister and I would go, but, like,
we'd figure out when training was,
because then the gym time passed a lot quicker
if we could look out on the oval and see all those people,
like, training for football.
Is that wrong?
- No, that's great.
Gym time should go faster.
- It really should.
- He doesn't want to talk to me.
- Well, he's probably mad.
Call it.
- Heads.
- It's tails.
You need another beer.
- Yes.
Okay.
I'm ready.
- Call it.
- Tails.
- Heads.
Ready? - Ready.
- Call it.
- Tails.
- Ooh.
- I'm on an unlucky streak.
- Binge.
Call it. Sorry.
Call it.
- Heads.
You ready?
Hear the sledges with the bells.
Silver bells.
What a world of merriment their melody foretells.
How they tinkle, tinkle, tinkle, in the icy air of night.
While the stars that over sprinkle all the heavens
seem to twinkle with a crystalline delight,
keeping time, time, time, in a sort of runic rhyme,
to the tintinnabulation that so musically wells
from the bells, bells, bells, bells,
from the jingling and the tinkling of the bells.
Hear the mellow wedding bells, golden bells.
What a world of happiness their harmony foretells.
Through the balmy air of night, how they ring out their delight.
From the molten golden notes, and all in tune,
what a liquid ditty floats to the turtledove that listens,
while she gloats on the moon.
Oh, from out the sounding cells,
what a gush of euphony voluminously wells.
How it swells.
How it dwells on the future.
How it tells of the rapture that impels to the swinging
and the ringing
of the bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells,
the bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells,
to the rhyming and the chiming of the bells.
Hear the loud alarum bells, brazen bells.
What a tale of terror, now, their turbulency tells.
In the startled ear of night,
how they scream out their affright.
Too much horrified to speak, they can only shriek, shriek,
out of tune,
in a clamorous appealing to the mercy of the fire,
in a mad expostulation with the deaf and frantic fire,
leaping higher, higher, higher.
Leaping higher, higher, higher with a desperate desire,
and a resolute endeavor, now, now to sit or never,
by the side of the pale-faced moon.
Oh, the bells, bells, bells.
What a tale their terror tells of despair.
How they clang and crash and roar.
What a horror they outpour on the bosom
of the palpitating air.
Yet the ear it fully knows
by the twanging and the clanging,
how the danger ebbs and flows.
Yet the ear distinctly tells,
in the jangling and the wrangling,
how the danger sinks and swells, by the sinking or the swelling
in the anger of the bells, of the bells, of the bells, bells,
bells, bells, bells, bells, bells,
in the clamor and the clangor of the bells.
Hear the trolling of the bells, iron bells.
What a world of solemn thought their melody compels.
In the silence of the night, how we shiver with affright
at the melancholy menace of their tone.
For every sound that floats from the rust
within their throats is a groan.
And the people, ah, the people, they that dwell up
in the steeple, all alone,
and who, tolling, tolling, tolling,
in that muffled monotone,
feel a glory in so rolling on a human heart of stone.
They are neither man nor woman.
They are neither brute nor human.
They are ghouls, and their king it is who tolls;
and he rolls, rolls, rolls, rolls, rolls,
a paean from the bells.
And his merry bosom swells with the paean from the bells.
And he dances, and he yells, keeping time, time, time,
in a sort of runic rhyme, to the paean of the bells,
of the bells,
keeping time, time, time, in a sort of runic rhyme,
to the throbbing of the bells.
Of the bells, bells, bells, to the sobbing of the bells,
keeping time, time, time, as he knells, knells, knells,
in a happy runic rhyme, to the rolling of the bells.
Of the bells, bells, bells:
To the tolling of the bells,
of the bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells.
To the moaning and the groaning of the bells.
- I'm very lucky.
- Do you like prosecco?
- Yes.
Yes, I do.
I go with the orange juice, but I'll try it like this.
Anything's good on a boat.
Is that gonna be littering?
- Yep.
I'm gonna litter with this cork,
but the cork is biodegradable, so it's like-
I mean, it's a fucking plant.
- Hey.
What?
- Sleepy. - Sleepy?
You don't want to fall asleep and miss this.
- Then I can enjoy it and be asleep at the same time.
- This is the best day I've had in months, I swear.
- Really?
- This is the best day.
Yeah, it actually is.
This is actually one of the best days I've ever had.
- It's pretty cool, right?
- Yeah.
- The first time I went to Ethiopia,
a sort of fat 50-year-old woman passed me.
I was running on the street.
I felt really bad.
So I, like, I'm in pretty- I, like, run a lot.
And then she just-
- But they're Ethiopian.
- Yeah, but she was like an out-of-shape Ethiopian,
and she still passed me.
And she was 50.
- Can I put my hand on here and drive?
I'm driving now.
- You're driving now.
Push it away from you a little bit if you can.