Here's to the end of prohibition!
Old man prohibition passed away
at exactly 5:32 1/2 P.M.
New York time
when Utah ratified...
Folks, here's the last keg
of prohibition beer in the house.
Marko's ether, and it's on the house!
Here's to Remy Marko, the king of beer!
He kept us supplied for 4 years!
Marko is all right!
Yeah, but thank heaven
we don't have to drink his beer anymore!
To Remy Marko! To Remy Marko!
Come, on. Shut up. Shut up, you lugs.
I got something to say.
Prohibition is over, sure.
What of it?
Well, I'll show you what of it.
It's the birth of a new day for us.
Come here, all of you.
I'll show you something.
Get over here.
Look. Get an eyeful of that.
I tell ya, it's great!
A land office business!
Everybody's drinking beer.
Don't that mean anything to you?
Yeah, but, Remy--
well, they been drinking my beer
for 4 years, ain't they, and liked it.
They had to like it.
Well, they're gonna keep on drinking it,
more then ever now.
It's gonna be the same beer,
the same customers,
and they're gonna be just as thirsty
as they ever was.
The only difference is,
from now on, Marko is legitimate.
What about us?
Aw, shut up, will ya? Shut up, ya lugs.
I'm gonna take care of every one of ya.
Just like I always did.
I got a job for every one of ya.
From now on you're gonna be salesmen.
Salesmen?! Salesmen?!
Salesmen.
Well, that's what you been up to now, ain't it?
Beer salesmen.
Well, that's what you're gonna keep on being,
only there's gonna be a little difference
in our sales methods.
Come on, boys. Take out the artillery.
Come on, hurry up! Hurry up, now.
Loosen up. That's it.
Hey, some of you guys over there
bring up the rest of those persuaders.
Come on, all. Make it snappy.
There, that's it.
Oh, lefty, blackie,
I want you to dump this on one of our trucks
and cart it down to the east river.
You mean dump it, boss?
Hey, we can get a lot of money
for this stuff, boss. We can sell it.
Not us.
I told you, from now on we're legitimate.
There's gonna be a lot of changes around here.
In the first place, this ain't no still no more, see?
It's a brewery.
Yeah, it's a business enterprise
operated on a strictly legitimate basis. Get me?
Oh, yeah, and I'm gonna give this place a lot of class.
Now that reminds me...
Mike, I want you to shave every day.
Every day?
Mm-hmm.
Lefty. Lay off these striped silk shirts.
Aw, boss-- from now on,
everybody wears white shirts.
Get me? With clean collars.
Listen, boss,
will it help us to sell Marko's beer
any better with clean shirts?
Oh, yes. Say, there's another thing.
From now on, it ain't "Marko's beer" no more.
Come here, I'll show you something--
say, you know, Marko ain't been asleep.
You know, I'm all ready for this new setup.
Come here. Get a gander at this.
"Gold velvet brewery. Remy Marko, president."
Tomorrow the warehouse sign comes down
and up goes this one.
That sign?
That ain't big enough.
No, you dope, ain't you got no imagination?
This is just a miniature model
just to give you an idea.
Ehh.
Well, I'm going home.
Here you are, boss.
Thanks.
"Drink gold velvet beer.
It's the tops."
It's a good thing the boss never drinks beer.
I want everybody to show up
bright and early tomorrow morning,
ready for business.
Oh, and, butch,
wash your neck--
come on, Mike--
and get a manicure.
Come on.
What's Remy gonna do now, Nora?
I don't know. He never tells me till he's done it.
Everything was going swell
under prohibition, then the government
has to step in with repeal.
Yeah. They're always passing laws
interfering with people.
Hello, Remy!
Hiya! Hiya!
There's Remy now.
Ah, Nora. I want to talk to you.
Excuse us, folks.
Aw, you look great, kid.
Come on in, honey,
into the music room.
Music room? Up to now,
this has always been the slot-machine room.
Well, that's all gonna be changed now.
We're gonna start putting on plenty of class.
Oh, and by the way,
have Mike take the spittoons out of the living room.
Remy, you aren't thinking
of going into some other racket, are ya?
No. We're going legitimate.
Take a look at me.
You are now looking at the president
of gold velvet brewery.
"Drink gold velvet beer. It's the tops."
It all sounds swell, Remy, if I could only
be sure you ain't got a bug in your nut.
Well, listen, darling, I got the whole thing figured out.
I been telling the boys about it, too.
Why, I been making plans for all this.
Well, what about Mary?
Will we keep her in that Paris school?
Why not? It's the most expensive school
in Europe, ain't it?
Well, that's what I mean.
Will we be able to afford it after we're legitimate?
Afford it?! Ha ha! Now look here, Nora,
nothing is too good for Marko's daughter.
I'm telling you, I'm gonna have
the biggest beer business in the country--
in the world!
Now that it's legal to sell it
and you don't have to push it,
you just watch Marko sail ahead.
Imagine us being legitimate after all these years.
Gee, I won't hardly know how to act.
Well, after we're legit a little while
you'll get so used to it
you'll forget we ever were anything else.
Well, that being the case,
we got to start changing things around here
right away.
Gentlemen!
I beg your pardon.
Please refrain from any rough talk.
What kind of a joint do you think you're in?
Remy's gone legit, see?
Yeah, that's right.
From now on, Nora and I want you
to be high-toned and talk refined.
Atta boy, Remy!
Yeah, put a muzzle on that "atta boy" lingo.
That goes for all of ya.
What'll it be? Schlitz, Budweiser, or gold velvet?
Anything but gold velvet.
I'm sorry. We're not renewing our order
on gold velvet beer.
This joint used to take care
of 2 dozen barrels of Marko's stuff a week
in the old days.
Those days are over.
They want real beer now.
What was in that glass?
Gold velvet beer.
Take it away. I'm not having a tooth pulled.
Remy? Yeah?
We got another letter this morning
from Mary's school.
Yeah?
We're 6 months behind in her bills.
They want $4,850.
Well, they got a lot of nerve
bothering Marko about chicken feed like that.
Nora, I ain't got it.
They gotta wait.
Remy, I knew things were pretty bad,
but I didn't think they were that bad.
I'm in pretty deep.
4 years legit,
and I'm worse off than when I started.
You'll pull out of it.
You done it before.
But in the meantime, we gotta start
cutting down on expenses.
First of all, Mary's got to come home.
Gee, I hate to do that.
You know, I want her to get a load
of all that swell education
they got over there.
But h-how can we do that?
You say she's in hock for 4,850 smackers.
Well, we gotta sell some stuff, that's all.
Look, why don't you call her up?
Right now.
Start economizing this very minute.
Oh, gee, I hate to do that.
I guess you're right, mama.
Gee, I--
hello, long distance?
Get me Paris.
What?
Sure. Paris, France.
Wait here, driver.
If the bank takes this brewery over,
we ought to keep that slogan.
It's good. Different.
Yeah. Nothing wrong with the slogan.
Nothing wrong with the brewery:
Perfectly equipped, well-located,
it's got everything.
Ought to be a goldmine,
once we get hold of it and change the beer.
Too bad Marko couldn't find that out
for himself, isn't it?
It's a shame.
Morning, miss Ferguson.
Is Mr. Marko in?
Yes he is, Mr. post,
but I'm afraid he's going to be engaged
for quite some time.
His daughter just arrived
from abroad this morning.
Hmm. Shall we wait?
We'll wait.
Well, well, well.
You're looking swell, kid.
You know, you look even prettier
than your mother did at your age,
and that's going some.
Remember I used to be willing to bet
a million dollars that you were
the best-looking dame in the whole burg?
And I got no takers, either.
Remember that?
Nobody disagreed with your father in those days.
Well, you're looking pretty well yourself, Remy.
Oh, I feel great.
And, my...
What a success you've become.
Oh, golly, I'm proud of you.
Well, you've got a right to be.
You just ask anybody who Marko is.
Why, pretty soon I'll be
selling enough gold velvet beer
to float Manhattan island on.
Why, only the other day someone told me
anybody who takes one drink of your father's beer
stops right there.
Now, there you are. What did I tell you?
Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Marko,
but Mr. post and Mr. Ritter are here to see you.
It's very urgent. They can't wait very much longer.
Well, tell those bloodsuckers
I'll be right out.
He says to thank you. He'll be right out.
I wonder if I ought to tell him about dick now?
If I was you, I'd wait.
I remember once when your father had a boil
and I was just dumb enough to pick that time
to tell him his brother was in the penitentiary.
Nora, I hope Remy's gonna like dick.
Oh, I guess he'll like him, all right,
if he's half what you say he is.
My baby engaged.
I can't believe it.
I hope he's good enough for you
and that his family comes up to yours.
You just wait until you meet him.
What kind of a job--
I mean, position-- has he got?
Well, I don't know.
He didn't write me what it was.
He said he wanted to surprise me.
Remy, your note's due tomorrow.
Oh, say. Is that so?
Well, I've got to have another extension.
Say, now, look here. You boys going
up to Saratoga for the meeting?
I got a great thing in the fourth race--
Remy. We don't own the bank.
We have to do as the board says in these matters.
Well, ok. Just tell the board
I'll need another extension.
Say, I've only been legitimate
for a little more than 4 years.
I'm--I'm just beginning to get on the ropes.
Sorry, Remy,
but we can't go any further.
Say, now, wait a minute.
Now, you boys don't think
I can't pay it, do you?
You don't think I'm gonna let you
take my brewery away for that kind of dough?
Why, I could let you have it
in cash right now.
Oh. Glad you've got it, Remy.
Yeah. We were a little worried
about you. Our reports show
you've nothing like that amount.
What?
Well, listen. All that Marko owes you
is $462,000.
That ain't even a half a million.
It's due tomorrow.
Now, listen, if you boys was thinking
about going up to Saratoga,
be Marko's guests, will you?
Drop in on I and the missis
any time you like. Open house all the time.
Oh, and a different class of people
than you'd have met last year.
Thanks, Remy. We'll be dropping in.
We'll be dropping in tomorrow.
Now, you want to turn the money over in Saratoga,
or maybe, since you have the cash,
you'd better give it to us now.
I'll tell you what I'll do for you boys.
I'll give you an extra 2% interest
on that thing if you'll give me
a 3 months' extension.
Now, that ought to make you happy.
No, that won't do, either.
We'll call on you in Saratoga.
Tomorrow it's the money or the brewery.
Say, now, wait a minute.
I don't like to see you boys
taking that kind of an attitude.
It's all taken, Remy.
See you tomorrow.
What?
Look, boss. I got all the baggage
loaded in the little car.
Wait a minute, boss. I just heard today
that little Dutch and his mob is out of stir.
Don't bother me with little things like that
right now. Can't you see
I got something big on my mind?
Come on, now.
Oh, and fix that tie of yours, will ya?
Nora's inside.
Come on, boys.
What's up, Remy?
Oh, nothing at all, sweetheart.
Nothing at all. But--
everything's ok.
Only a little change in our plans.
We leave for Saratoga right away.
Oh, gip,
you and lefty go on up right away
with the small car and all the luggage.
Mike will take me, Nora, and Mary
in the big car. Understand?
Ok, boss.
What was that, Michael?
I mean, yes, sir.
You mean you want me and lefty
to go on up ahead with the stuff?
Certainly.
Get going and have your kitchen ready
by the time we get there.
Do youse want--
does madam and mademoiselle
wish meatballs and spaghetti for dinner?
Oh, that would be delicious.
Mike, we'll be right down.
Come on, boys. Get going.
Thank you, Harold.
"Harold."
Who's she talkin' to?
You, ya lug. Get going.
"Harold."
Oh, uh, look, myrtle, me and the family
are going up to Saratoga right away,
so if anything shows up, you can reach me there.
Well, then shall I phone the orphanage
and tell them to expect you today rather than tomorrow?
Say, I'm glad you reminded me
about that orphan.
You know, I almost forgot him.
Me and the missis will pick him up
in a couple of hours.
Say, you're a great dame,
reminding me about that kid. Thanks!
Ahh.
There she is, mama.
The little old Alma mater.
Ahh, you bet your life, this is a great place.
Culture, refinement. Just breathe that air.
Go on and breathe it.
Ain't it full of sentiment?
Is that what it is?
Why, listen, Nora, I could tell you stories
about this place that would crack your heart.
Like the time when me and--
look, Remy, go on in and get your prize package
and let's get away from here.
Yeah, well, I'll be back in a minute.
Get ready.
Well, well, well, Mrs. Cagle.
Put her there.
Remy. Welcome home.
Aw, ain't changed a bit.
Still just as slick as a horsehair couch.
You don't know what this means to the little ones.
It's a banner day in their little world
when you come to visit.
I'm sure, but look here, I ain't got much time,
so let me have a look at the little mob, huh?
* how do you do, Mr. Marko, how do you do *
* all the happy little orphans welcome you *
* we are glad that you are here *
* 'cause you always bring us cheer *
* how do you do, Mr. Marko, how do you do *
as you students all know,
every year we are most fortunate
in having Mr. Marko,
one of our most successful alumnus,
visit us and extend to one of the students
an invitation to spend the summer with him
at his charming summer home in Saratoga.
Before selecting this very fortunate student,
I know we will appreciate a few words
from Mr. Marko on the subject of success.
Mr. Marko.
Well, uh...
Now, look here, you mugs.
I mean, you guys.
Sorry. I get a little nervous.
I'm your pal, see?
I'm for ya, 100%. Understand?
Now, look,
does that make any difference to me?
I got lots of it, see?
But does it make any difference with me?
Not on your tintype.
Success didn't turn my head.
And that's the way I want it should be with you.
Never treat a sucker like so much dirt when he's down.
Play ball with him, and you'll find
you'll always get a little better edge in the end.
And I'm telling you guys,
when you leave this joint,
keep your chin up.
Of course, it's a smart thing
to keep your left shoulder up along with it, too.
But whatever you do,
don't go in for nothing shady.
Don't be a chiseler, a gyp, or a gumshoe.
Now stay kosher.
Keep your nose clean.
And remember, you'll always come out on top
with honesty, industry, and, uh,
a good hard right to the button.
Will the following students
kindly step forward:
Pierre O'Rattigan,
boyce Fitch Ginsburg,
Payson Piedmont cannel.
These are the honor students for the year, Mr. Marko.
They had the highest records in deportment, studies,
and personal hygiene,
and are all eligible
to accept your lovely invitation to spend a month
in the beautiful environment of your charming home.
All perfect little gentlemen.
Yeah, that's what I was afraid of.
Now look, there'll be lots of people coming up here
that are a cinch to take any one of these kids.
I don't want the best. I want the worst.
You know, some little mug that nobody else wants.
I want to give him a chance, see?
That's right. Now give me
the ugliest and toughest little gazebo you got.
I want to mold him, see?
Well, surely, Mr. Marko,
you don't really want the worst--
yeah, that's right. I want the worst.
Now, trot him out here and let me give him a gander.
Very well.
Piedrel, you take 3 of the other older boys,
go down to the cellar, unlock Douglas,
and bring him to my office.
Come on, gang.
Thank you very much.
Take it easy, will ya?!
This, Mr. Marko, is Douglas Fairbanks Rosenbloom.
Well, how are you, old-timer?
How'd you like to come up
to my joint in Saratoga, huh?
Can I smoke?
I'm sure, Douglas, Mr. Marko doesn't approve
of little boys smoking.
Oh, an old-fashioned sucker, huh?
Oh, you'll like it up there.
How's about it, kid?
I ain't so sure about that.
But anyway, I'll go up
and give your joint the once-over.
That's fine.
I think we'd better start shoving off.
It's getting kind of la--
that's funny. My watch.
Douglas, hold out your hands.
Open them.
Aww, Douglas.
You hadn't oughta do that.
That's liable to hurt
people's feelings.
It's going to mean everything to a boy like Douglas
to spend a month in the atmosphere
of your lovely home.
Good-bye, Douglas.
Be a good boy for kind Mr. and Mrs. Marko.
Tell the old lady to change her needle, will ya?
Well, good-bye, Mrs. Cagle.
Keep up the good work.
Come on, Douglas.
Hey. Got a match?
Huh?
Hey, you hadn't oughta
do that, Douglas.
That's bad for the wind.
I take notice it ain't hurt yours none.
Well, I--I wouldn't do it,
just the same. Come on, Douglas.
Douglas, this is Mrs. Marko
and my daughter Mary.
And here, folks, we have
Douglas Fairbanks Rosenbloom.
You talk like you're announcing a bout.
Hello, Douglas.
Hi, toots.
Hey, does the old dame live in the house, too?
Certainly. Why?
Call some of the older boys
and tell them to put me back in the cellar.
Here, now. Wait a minute.
Boy, you certainly got a great sense of humor.
You know, that's what I like in a kid.
Great stuff, isn't he?
Hey, Mike.
Mike, take Douglas in the front seat with you.
I can let down the trunk rack
just as easy.
Oh, he's a great kid.
You'll enjoy him.
All right, Mike. Let's go.
Well, dad, how do you like it?
Well, I find it a bit difficult
to get used to the idea
of a whitewood as a policeman.
Oh, not exactly a policeman, dad.
State trooper.
Yeah.
Of course, I don't wish to underestimate
the importance of any law-enforcing agency,
particularly in these troubled times,
but I rather thought some more dignified occupation--
well, I couldn't bear the thought
of sitting in an office all day long.
Boy, wait till Mary sees me in this uniform.
She'll get a real kick out of it.
You'll love Mary, dad.
I hope so.
And what about her family?
Have you looked into their background?
Oh, we're bound to like them.
After all, they produced Mary.
You'll see them tonight.
They're on their way up to Saratoga now.
I'm looking forward to it.
Well, I'm going up now and arrange things.
Maybe I can pick up their car on the road
and surprise Mary.
See you later, dad.
So little red riding hood
grabs herself a basket of chow
and hot-foots it to her grandmother's,
but the wolf, who was hangin' around
for no good, gets a load of her
trottin' through the woods
and tails her.
But he gets to the grandmother's first.
The old bag of bones has took a powder,
so he grabs one of her bonnets,
puts it on and gets into bed and waits
for little red riding hood,
with a look on his pan
like a hungry tramp
taking a hinge at a lunchroom.
Now there's something for ya, huh?
Look at the way Mike is handling Douglas.
You know, I always said
that Mike should have gotten married and had children.
He's a family man from the heels up.
That's what I've been telling Mary.
I think every girl should meet some nice fella
and get married...
Or something.
What?
What, you mean to tell me that Mike and Mary--
Mike?!
Don't be silly, Remy.
How could I?
Well, I feel better.
You had me scared for a minute.
Mike's a nice fellow, all right,
but it ain't that, you know.
He ain't for you.
You know, you're different. You're Marko's daughter.
What you need is a guy with culture, education,
good breedin'.
You know, somebody that can talk our language.
Look, Remy, there's something
I've been dying to tell you.
You see, while I was in Paris at school--
Mike! Step on it!
There's a piece of the law tailing us.
No, we haven't been
exceeding the speed limit.
Well, if we ain't, we're going to now.
I hate to have a cop within a mile of me.
They make me sick. Mike, give it all you got.
Ok.
I'll call you. What do ya got, Dutch?
Full house.
Kings and Johns.
That's a fin you owe me.
Any sign of 'em yet?
If there was, I'd tell ya.
What's the matter-- still sore?
Certainly I'm sore.
We oughta lam outta here
with that 500 gs.
Come up here to take care of Remy, didn't we?
That's the main thing.
That stickup we done was just an accident.
Accidents will happen.
Yeah, but with all the dough we got,
we ought not be waitin' around for nobody.
What are you squawking about?
You'll get your cut. Nobody gets no cut
till we do the Remy job
and get out of here.
One job a day
is enough for me.
Come on. Deal 'em, somebody.
Wanna go down and get me a drink of water, innocence?
We'll watch the window for a second.
Yeah.
I don't know what's the matter
with innocence...
But it's gettin'
so I don't like him no more.
Funny, but I was just gonna say the same thing, Dutch.
Well, when we start the fun with Remy,
it'll be pretty easy.
You know, anything's liable to happen.
Yeah.
Anyway, it's easier to split 4 ways than 5.
Where will we put all this stuff?
Let's put it right here,
beer and all.
Tell you what. You get the rest of it in,
and I'll go up and open some windows.
Here we are.
Oh, what a lovely old-fashioned house, Nora.
We've been renting it for the last 3 years.
Your father seems to like it.
You know, it was the deer that sold me.
You know, I got a streak of the artist in me
a mile wide.
Oh, Mike, bring Douglas in.
Ok.
Come on, you.
Aw, go chase yourself.
Calling all cars, calling all cars.
Stand by for a man--
hey, lay off me, ya lug!
What do you think you are?
You wanna get conked?
Oh, hello, boys. Have a good trip up?
It was ok. Kinda quiet.
I and Mr. Marko will occupy
the room we had last year.
Miss Marko will use the front bedroom.
Rustle the baggage.
Ok.
Wait a minute.
What was that you said?
I said ok.
How many times do I have to tell you
to say "yes, ma'am"?
Ok.
Yes, ma'am.
Now, remember that, Harold.
Come on, Mary, I'll show you your room.
Hey! Take it easy, you mug!
Cut it out, will ya?
Who do you think you are?
Hey, gip!
Yeah?
Did you get in a jam coming up here?
Me? No, why?
There's a copper coming up the walk.
A copper?
There he is now.
You take the kid into the kitchen.
I'll handle the law.
Come on, little boy.
Take your hands off me!
I didn't get pushed around
by a lot of mugs like you.
Come. I'll give you a bottle of beer.
So what? Good afternoon.
Have the Markos arrived yet?
No. When do you expect them?
I don't know.
Well, they're due here anytime now, aren't they?
I don't know.
Oh. Well, thanks very much just the same.
Well, what'd he want?
Who knows what any cop wants?
He asked for the boss.
There can't be nothin' wrong about the boss now.
Still and all, I do not like the idea of a copper.
I don't like the idea
of any copper.
What's the matter, boys?
Nothing, boss. The law was here.
Local?
State trooper.
Oh, a state trooper, huh?
Well, you ought to have thrown him out on his ear.
We don't have to worry anymore.
The old days is gone. I've been polite
to my last cop.
I bet that's him again.
Wait a minute, boss.
Let me handle him.
Some gall.
Oh. Hello.
Hello, Mike. Remy here?
Yeah. Come in.
Oh, hiya, Sam.
Hello, fellas. Hello, Remy.
Hello, Sam. Glad to see ya.
Say, tell me. Who won the third?
My dandy.
Say, that's great. I'm doing ok.
How much did I make?
I got the tab--
here it is here.
I'll let you see it in a minute.
There it is. 4,890.
Yeah, that's right.
Come in.
Well, I'm glad to hear that.
Sit down.
Look, Remy, that's what I come
to talk to you about, that dough.
What about it?
Well, I just want to tell you
that I'll take care of it tomorrow
when the insurance company settles with us.
Say, don't tell me you got knocked off
on the first day of the meeting?
Ain't you heard about the stickup?
What stickup?
Well, you know the armored truck
that brings the bookies' dough from the bank?
It was knocked off by 5 guys.
Nobody's got any money to make book with.
They got pretty near a half a million.
Who done it?
Anybody we know?
Who knows? They all got away.
All the bookies' dough, huh?
Gee, ain't that terrible?
Nearly half a million.
Say, wait'll I tell the boys.
They'll be interested.
Hey, Mike, gip. Come in here, will ya?
What do you think happened?
Some people held up the armored car
with all the bookies' dough in it.
All the bookies' dough, huh?
Ain't that terrible?
That's fierce.
Did they all get away?
Clean.
I'll be in the kitchen if you want me, boss.
Say, listen, Sam. Tell me,
how did you manage this afternoon
without any sugar?
Well, we done business with I.O.U.S.
Say, there'll be enough markers around here tonight
to paper the Pennsylvania... Station.
Hey, I can recite.
You wanna hear me recite?
"When you see a man in woe,
walk right up and say hello."
That's swell.
Pretty good, huh?
Oh, elegant.
"Walk right up and say hello."
I'd rather hear him say good-bye.
So long.
I'll be seeing you later, Remy.
Yeah, drop in tonight, will ya?
There'll be some of the old gang
around here.
Ok.
Well.
"Walk right up and say hello."
Oh, just a little ray of sunshine there,
little fella.
"Walk right up and say hello."
Hey, wait a minute, Douglas!
You hadn't oughta do that!
Aw, what's it to ya?
Mary thinks the house is too, too divine.
What's the matter with you?
Remy, take the beer away from that kid.
Yeah. It ain't good for the kids, is it?
It's not that. He'll ruin the piano.
Michael!
Oh, that's you, Mike.
Get the guest bedroom ready for Mr. Marko's prize.
Ok.
I mean, yes, ma'am.
Hey, when do we put on a feedbag?
You go into the kitchen, Douglas.
Gip will get you something to eat.
Ok.
Hey. When do we eat?
Sit down.
Here. Drink this,
and I'll fix you something to eat.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Sit down.
Hey! Hey!
Is that bedroom ready for Mr. Marko's prize?
No, and I don't think he can use that room.
Why not?
There seems to be some people in it.
People?
What people?
How many people?
4 fellas.
4?
Well, what are they doing there?
Just sitting around in chairs.
Did you tell them to get out?
Now, wait a minute.
You mean 4 people that don't belong here?
I don't think they belong here regular.
Well, did you tell them to get out?
Well, I was gonna speak to them about it,
but, boss, I don't think them people
are in any position to listen to much.
They don't seem to be alive.
What, you mean they're dead?
That's about it.
Why--
I never heard of such gall in my life!
What did that landlady mean by going away
and leaving 4 dead people in this house?
Now, now, now, now. Wait a minute, will ya?
What was the matter with those fellas?
Somebody shot them, boss.
Shot 'em?
Yes, sir. Right there in that room.
Interrupted their card game,
and one guy had a king full, too.
There they sit, just as natural as anything.
You've got to get them out of there.
I can't have people like that around my house.
Mrs. Thurston was supposed
to leave this house in good order.
Now, wait a minute. She wouldn't have
left them there if she'd known.
Well, then get the agent on the phone.
They've got no right to rent a house
with people like that in it.
What will the neighbors think?
What would Mary's fiance think
if he came in while they were here?
Say, what would anybody think?
We better call up the board of health,
tell them we want to use that room.
No, I don't think we better do that, boss.
I don't think we want
any strangers in on this.
You know who them fellas are?
Who are they?
One of them is little Dutch.
Then there's no-nose Cohen,
blackhat Gallagher,
and a guy I don't know.
He must be a total stranger.
What difference does it make who they are?
I don't care anything about them,
and I don't want them there.
Now, listen, Nora. Those are the guys
that I had trouble with in the old days.
They tried to see me
a couple of times before.
Yeah. The trouble with them guys is,
they could never get the idea out of their heads
that they had a right to that brewery,
just because they started it.
Yeah, but the worst of it is,
what would people think,
finding them this way, in my own house.
You can't get back in the papers now,
of all times.
Think what it would mean to Mary...
And the whitewoods.
Aw, the whitewoods.
Think what it would mean to Marko's beer.
All right, then.
Get those people out of this house.
I don't care what you do with them,
but get them out quietly.
I'll keep Mary upstairs with me.
They got plenty of artillery, too.
Yeah, well, we'd better hide it.
Say, I'll wisen up the boys.
They'll be interested.
Ok.
Hey, Mike. Yeah?
Which one of them had the king full?
Little Dutch? Yeah.
I thought so.
Lucky fink, that little Dutch.
That's just the kind of a dirty trick
those guys would pull,
leaving themselves in that kind of shape
around your house.
Yeah. You know, that little Dutch
never had no consideration for other people's feelings.
Say, you sure you boys didn't have a hand in this?
No such luck.
Boss, I think I got it all figured out.
Those are the guys
that knocked off the bookies' truck.
Say, I think you're right.
Then they come straight up here
to take up that old matter with the boss.
Some nerve,
reopening old wounds.
Why can't they live and forget?
And me being legitimate
for years.
Sad Sam says there was 5.
So I figure the fifth one
gives these guys the business
and then scrams with the dough.
I think you're right.
Well, everybody's on board.
Well, come on. Let's take these fellas
and throw 'em away somewhere.
Yeah, but where?
Say, you know that gentleman jockey, Mr. Brent?
Well, I bet on a horse that he rode at Belmont once,
and I think he pulled that horse.
I know he pulled that horse,
although I don't like to say anything
against a gentleman jockey.
How about we leave one on his doorstep?
Ok with me.
Say, I never had any love
for gentlemen jockeys anyway.
How about little Dutch for Mr. Brent?
That's fine.
Look, and we'll leave
blackhat Gallagher
at Briggs' cottage around the corner.
You know, Joe Briggs welched on me
when he was making book in Jamaica.
I know a guy I don't like, runs a restaurant downtown.
Oh, no, no, no.
We ain't taking anybody downtown.
And let's keep personalities
out of this, see?
Say, how about leaving one
on colonel Jake statz's lawn
yeah.
The statz brewery.
You know, once he told it around
I was making chemical beer.
Well, we'll give him no-nose Cohen.
He's the ugliest.
The stranger.
The guy we don't know about.
He ain't no rose.
We ought to pick a spot for him.
Yeah, where'll we leave the stranger?
You know, we don't want
to waste any of these fellas.
Now, boss, can't I keep just one of them
in the kitchen until later?
Then I'll take him downtown by myself
with absolutely no trouble to you.
Now you heard me, we gotta get him
out of here right away.
Nora's getting all sored up about this.
I got it... Marshal Preston.
You know, that bluenose
that's always squawking
about closing down the track?
Oh, so he wants to close down the track, does he?
Where does he live?
He's got that gatin cottage
on union Avenue.
Well, he gets the stranger.
Now you stick here.
You're stayin' here with the missis.
Me and the other boys
are gonna make the deliveries.
Wait a minute, boss. Lefty went last time.
I never have no fun.
Now you heard me, stick here.
Now, you're getting spoiled.
Always thinking of your own pleasure.
Come on, boys.
You heard him.
So long, Michael.
A cop.
Yeah, and you missed him.
You're getting careless lately.
Yeah, I know, boss.
It's the life I'm leading.
I was much better when I was illegitimate.
I'll learn you some manners.
Ha ha ha.
A bull's-eye. What do I get?
What do you want-- a Kewpie doll?
Stay where you are.
I'll beat your brains out.
What do you want?
Well, have the markos arrived yet?
Who wants to know?
Well, I'd like to see
miss Marko or Mrs. Marko.
Well, you can't see them.
Michael, who is it?
Wait outside.
It's the law.
What?
He was here once before,
and I told the boss about it,
and the boss said if he comes back,
to throw him out.
Do you suppose he's here about
those parties that were upstairs?
Well, who knows what a copper wants?
Is he a local?
No, he's a state trooper.
Oh, that must be the fellow
who was trying to catch us
outside of Albany this afternoon.
We weren't going very fast.
I'll take care of him. Show him in here.
Come in, but I think she's making a mistake.
You asked for it.
So, you had to follow us all the way here.
Well, let me tell you something, young man,
we weren't going over 35 miles an hour.
Well, there's some mistake.
Oh, no. There's no mistake.
That old car of ours can't make over 35 miles an hour.
If you don't believe it, take it out and try it.
Well, I'm not here to arrest you for speeding.
Then what do you want?
Well, you're Mrs. Marko, aren't you?
What of it?
Well, my name's whitewood.
I'm Dick Whitewood.
What? In that uniform?
Well, Mary told me
when I got back to America
I had to do something,
so I'm doing this.
Surprise Mary, don't you think?
Surprise her? It'll floor her.
Pardon me.
Mary!
* Mary *
forgive me for shouting for Mary,
but, uh, my servants are all busy.
Oh, how are you, Mr. Whitewood?
Such a shock,
thinking I was gonna be pinched,
and it turned out to be you.
I understand.
Dick!
Oh, darling. Well, what a grand uniform.
He's got some bad news for ya.
I mean, a surprise.
Don't tell me you're really
a state trooper?
I certainly am.
I think that's marvelous.
But darling, whatever put it in your head
to become a state trooper?
Yeah, you're going around making people nervous.
Well, I hadn't been back from Europe for 2 days
when I was stopped for speeding in Westchester.
Did you beat the rap?
I beg your pardon?
Never mind. Skip it. Go on.
Well, that gave me the idea,
and I went to see a friend of mine
who's an officer--
you mean, uh, you have friends
that are policemen, too?
And here I am.
Well, I think that's grand,
and darling, that uniform
is wonderfully becoming on you.
Why, I'll fall in love with you
all over again.
Ahem.
Oh, uh, by the way, Mrs. Marko,
dad's very anxious for me to bring Mary
over to the hotel tonight for dinner
so he can meet her.
Certainly, and after you've untied your bibs,
bring him back over here to meet Mary's old man.
Thanks.
Personally, I can't tell you
how happy I am about you and Mary.
I'm pretty happy myself.
And Mary's father will be tickled to death.
Have you any other clothes with you?
No, I'm just here overnight on leave.
I was thinking of your father.
He, uh, he doesn't like uniforms.
He's, um, he's a pacifist.
Well, if father doesn't like uniforms,
it's time he learned.
I like it, and that's enough.
Well, why not let me meet him
and see what happens.
Oh, well, he's not in now.
He went to work for half an hour.
He's--he's gone out calling on some neighbors.
Oh.
Well, I'll see you later.
It will be very interesting
to have a policeman right in the family...
I hope.
Honey, how about you and I
having a few minutes alone together,
before we meet anybody else?
Darling, if you hadn't said that,
I was just getting ready to sock you.
Michael, what's the idea?
Mr. Marko says
that if this prize package misbehaves,
to cut a switch.
Why ain't he in b-e-d?
Because I want more to e-a-t,
you old c-o-w.
Mrs. Marko,
I think this boy is a mistake.
In spades.
Is that, uh, room upstairs--
the one those parties left--in order?
Yeah. I scattered some rugs around it,
and it looks ok.
Well then, take little, um,
lord Fauntleroy up to it
and put him to bed.
I ain't sleepy. I think I'll go out
to a pool parlor for a while.
You will, in a pig's eye.
Grab him, Michael, and carry him upstairs.
Hey! Hey! What are ya--
what are you doing anyway?
Hey, take your hands off me,
you big blockhead, or I'll--
cut it out! I'll brain you!
What are you doing, anyway?
Hey, lay off me, you mug.
Hey, take it easy. I'll go to bed.
Now you're talking sense.
Put him down, Michael.
I'll put out some pajamas for him.
What do I want pajamas for?
I'm wearing my underwear.
Hey, scram, will ya? I'm going to bed.
For crying out loud. Take it easy.
Darling, I hate to break this up,
but if I'm gonna meet your father,
I think we'd better start.
Uh-uh. Let him wait a few minutes.
And make a bad impression? No, sir.
I'll get my things.
You think you can wait here
alone for a second?
I'll try, but I'll suffer.
Silly. Good-bye.
Aw, Mike, you missed it.
Say, you should have been along with us.
We ain't had so much fun
since we shot up little Dutch's headquarters.
Yeah, it was better than a circus.
Oh, seeing how we planted no-nose Cohen.
Say, that was a pip.
Can you imagine Jake Shultz
when he opens that door
and no-nose Cohen falls in on him?
Wouldn't his face be red, eh?
Mike, you want to get lefty
to tell you all about it, ok?
Oh, boy.
Well, we drove up to the Shultz place,
and by this time, no-nose is a little stiff.
Oh, excuse me.
Oh, I wish I could be there to see it.
Oh, good evening. Are you Mr. Marko?
What about it?
Well, I'm dick Whitewood.
Are you in this house on any business?
Well, no, sir, I came here to see--
well, then, get out of here.
You boys have got plenty of crust
walking into an honest man's house.
I don't have to stand
for any coppers around me now.
Mr. Marko, you don't understand, I--
I understand everything I have to.
You ain't got anything on me,
and you don't belong here.
Yes, but I--
go on, get your hat and get out of here.
I ought to smack you
just for old time's sake.
Father, listen,
this is dick Whitewood--
I don't care who he is. I don't want
any coppers prowling around this joint.
Now get out of here.
Remy, Remy, nix-nix. That's Mary's feller.
What?
This is Mr. Whitewood, father.
Uh, my father, dick.
Pleased to meet you, Mr. Marko.
Ah.
Oh, now, take it easy.
Remy, we got a little surprise for you.
Now don't get excited.
Uh, Mr. Whitewood here and Mary are engaged.
What? Engaged? To him? Since when?
Why wasn't I told about this?
Well, I tried to tell you
all the way up from New York.
They--they met in Paris.
Mary told me all about the family.
They're all right.
Thank you, Mrs. Marko.
What do you mean, she met this copper?
Oh, he wasn't a copper then.
Remy, give yourself a chance
to become acquainted with dick
before jumping to conclusions.
What's he trying to do,
make a sucker out of somebody?
Coming around here, dressed up like that,
scaring people?
But he really is a flatfoot.
I mean, uh, officer.
Ain't it wonderful?
Say, now, what is this?
I can take a joke
as well as anybody.
What is it? Is he a copper,
or isn't he a copper?
Listen, Remy, I told dick
when we became engaged in Paris
that I couldn't marry a man
who didn't work,
no matter how much money he had,
so he came home
and joined the state police,
and I think it's wonderful.
Oh, it's phenomenal.
Why don't you children run over to the hotel
and have your dinner with dick's father?
I'll square the beef here.
Come on, dick. Let's give Remy a chance
to get used to the idea.
Michael? Michael?
Well, we'll see you later.
I'll bring my dad over.
Ah.
Tell the old gent--
I mean, uh, tell your father
how eager we are to meet him.
What do you want?
The door.
Who, me?
Yes, you, you lug.
We'll be back later, mother.
Bye-bye. Thank you.
Good-bye.
So that's what Europe has done for her.
Now, Remy, she didn't know
anything about him becoming a copper.
It was entirely the boy's own idea.
Yeah, but she stood up for him, didn't she?
She doesn't think for a minute
that I'm gonna let her marry a copper?
Why, we'd never be able to hold our heads up again.
Why, you cluck,
you're on the side of law and order yourself now.
Well, sure, I'm legit,
I'm in favor of law and order,
but you don't have to have it
right in your own house, do you?
I won't stand for it.
Remy, you stop shooting off your mouth.
Aw.
That boy's coming back tonight,
he's bringing his father with him,
and you're gonna be nice to them.
We gotta think of Mary.
I hate to tell you what I think of her now.
Oh, this job is only a whim on dick's part.
He won't stick at it.
Now come on, have your dinner.
You'll feel better. Come on.
Do you think he gets a pleasure
out of just arresting people?
You know, there are coppers
in this world just like that.
If this legit stuff keeps up much longer,
I'm gonna kiss you guys good-bye
and spend the rest of my days
in the old ladies' home.
Cheer up. I hit the boss
for some of our back wages,
and he give me 50 bucks on account.
Gee, I didn't think
he was down that low.
Well, he could have chopped
that horse we bet on yesterday.
He won by a dirty snoot.
I wonder who's running tomorrow?
What is it?
They're offering $10,000 reward each
for them bandits, alive or dead.
We both know, Remy,
Mary's gotta get married someday,
and I know you'll like this boy
when you get used to him.
Well, I ain't got nothin' against the kid.
It's just that I don't like his advocation.
Hey, lefty!
Harold!
Push that button a little harder, Nora, will you?
If I do, I'll push my foot
right through the floor.
There's nobody here.
No kidding.
Mike!
Lefty!
What?
Hey, what's this?
"Dear boss, we've tooken
a half hour off. Mike."
You know, I'm getting
a little discouraged about Mike.
You ought to,
after all you've done for him
and give him.
Oh, no, it ain't that.
It's just that I can't learn him how to spell.
Look at the way he spells "tooken,"
with 2 Os.
It's that grab bag of yours again, Remy.
Say, he hadn't walked around
in his bare feet.
I think we should go up
and slip him a Mickey Finn.
Uh-uh. He's liable to create a taste for 'em.
Marko will talk to him.
You go up the front stairs, and I'll go up the back.
That's a break.
Now we can throw a party tonight in peace.
Mama, you know, I get a funny feeling
looking at him like that.
Seems to me that around his little head
there's a halo... Can't you see it?
Why the celebration?
Oh, it would be like this every night.
I didn't know there was gonna be a party.
Are you feeling well enough to face it, dad?
Oh, I'm all right.
Of course, we won't be here very long.
Well, is your health troubling you, Mr. Whiteman?
Well, I have to be quieter
than most people.
Excitement seems to be bad for me.
Oh. Well, shall we go in?
Mmm.
* could make me be true *
* could make me feel glad *
* just to be sad thinking of you *
that-a-boy, you know them all.
* some others I've seen *
* might never be mean *
* might never be cross *
* or try to be boss *
* but they wouldn't do *
* somebody else gave me a thrill *
* with all your faults, I love you still *
* it had to be you *
* wonderful you *
* it had to be you *
atta-baby. Is that a dandy?
Father? Yeah?
Father, this is Mr. Whitewood.
My father.
Well, how are you, Mr. Whitewood?
How do you do?
Uh, come to look us over, huh?
Well, I, uh--
well, we look you over, too.
You know, Mary springing this engagement stuff on me
hit me right between the eyes.
She means an awful lot to me, my little girl.
I'm sure of that.
Yes, sir. You know,
I spent 50 grand educating that girl.
Of course, I understand you spent some dough
on that kid of yours, too.
Now look here, you and me
ought to get together on this, Mr. Whitewood.
The sooner the better.
Yeah, but first I want you to meet
some of the folks and have a little fun,
you know, they're old friends of mine.
Great people.
I've met some of them already.
Yeah?
Some rather whimsical ones.
Wh--oh. Well, uh,
the only one that sings here
is the singer.
He ain't never studied
a note in his life.
Yes, I can hear that.
Hey, uh, Nora!
Come over here, will you?
Come over and shake hands with Mr. Whitewood.
That's my, uh, better half.
This is Mrs. Marko.
I am very glad to know you, Mrs. Marko.
This is a great pleasure, Mr. Whitewood.
We're so glad to have you in our house.
I wonder if I could, uh, have a glass of water?
You bet your life...
Anything at all. Michael?
Where is he? Harold?
I--I can't imagine what's happened
to our Butler and our steward.
Where are those mugs?
I'll see if I can find them.
Say, it's a lucky thing we got 'em all back.
I thought for a minute
we was gonna lose no-nose Cohen
when colonel statz come along just then.
Listen, we can't leave them stiffs here.
Somebody's liable to come nosing around.
The best thing is to stick them
in an empty room upstairs
in the closet.
Well, now, that ain't so easy. There's people
going through that hall all the time.
You can't use the guest room.
Marko's prize is up there.
Then we'll have to watch our chance
and take them one by one
up the back stairs, and stick them
in that side bedroom closet.
Nobody's using that room.
All right, you guys handle it.
I'll tell the boss. Boy, will he be tickled.
Him so broke, and with $40,000
worth of merchandise in an upstairs closet.
You stick here, and I'll give you the orders.
All right.
* shine on *
* shine on, harvest moon *
* up in the sky *
* I ain't had no lovin' *
knock it off.
What's the matter?
Run along out on the porch, why don't you?
Aw, Nora, quite crabbing the party.
When you and me worked at coney island,
you had the loudest voice on the boardwalk.
Hey, hey, Mike, come here.
Where have you been?
This is a fine time to take a date
with all these people around here.
I couldn't help it. Look, boss...
I gotta talk to you.
Well, not now. Come on,
get busy waiting on these people.
But this is important.
Mike, I know just what you're gonna ask me,
and there's nothing doing, see?
That 50 smackers that I gave gip
was to be cut up among you fellas, understand?
So, come on, rustle up some drinks for these people.
Yeah, I know you gave gip--
you heard me. Get going--
before Nora catches you.
* a merry-go-round, round, round *
* and around, and round, and round *
* and the-- *
you heard me. Out on the porch.
Aw, now wait a minute, mama,
let the singer alone.
May I please have a glass of water?
He's got a beautiful voice, hasn't he?
Say, do you know Jim Crawford?
You know, the singer sung for him one time,
8 hours straight, without a stop.
Just think of that.
I don't dare.
Say, by the way, singer,
where is our old friend, Jim?
He's sick, boss.
No kidding.
In a hospital in San Diego.
Oh, gee, that's tough. Say, I got an idea.
Let's call him up and cheer him up, huh?
Richard, a chair. I'm going to faint.
Harold! Lefty!
Uh, long distance?
Listen, I want any hospital
in San Diego that's got Jim Crawford.
Hello, Jim. Hold on.
Say, uh, come here, folks, will you?
The singer is, uh, gonna sing
to Jim Crawford in San Diego.
Oh, you'll love this.
* for I'm dancing with tears in my eyes *
* for the girl in my arms isn't you *
* dancing with somebody new *
* though it's you *
say, is he really singing
to someone in San Diego, California?
And how.
Why, once Mr. Marko had him singing
to a man in Australia.
Ain't it wonderful?
The telephone, I mean.
I wonder if there's someplace
where I can get a towel
and some cold water for my head?
Upstairs, third door to your left.
* so hard to do *
* for I'm dancing *
well.
Uh, we was just playing piggyback.
His mother always used to play with him.
* for the girl *
* in my arms *
* isn't you *
excuse me.
* all your years of wishing *
* fancies maybe *
say, what's the matter around here?
This house seems to be full of idiots and lunatics.
Aw, pop. You gotta learn to mix.
* with you *
* every cloud must have a silver lining *
excuse me.
Yeah. Excuse me.
* wait until the sun beats through *
* smile, my honey, dear *
* while I brush away each tear *
* or else, I may be melancholy, too *
oh, boy, you can sing for my dough any time.
Isn't he marvelous?
Oh, Sam, he's singing for Jim in San Diego.
Hello, Jim, are you lis--
what? Oh, is that so?
Some dame just cut in
and said Jim don't care to hear no more.
Say, I wish we could get
that big fella at Alcatraz. He'd love this.
I don't think they'd leave him come to the phone.
Huh?
Hey, boss... Yeah?
If you can get away
from that phone for a minute
there's an important call
for you on the private phone
in the library.
Oh, excuse me, folks.
Hello?
Hello, Remy, this is post and ritter.
We've just arrived. We're stopping at the shawford.
I guess you know what kind of news we're bringing.
Well, well, well.
Now, you don't have to tell me,
I thought that you boys
and that frowsy bunch of directors
would come around to my way of thinking.
Well, how much more time are you gonna give me?
I'm sorry to have to tell you, Remy,
that in a meeting of the board this afternoon,
your note was definitely called in.
What? What, you mean to tell me
that you gents came all the way up here
to tell me that?
We have all the papers with us,
and if the note isn't paid by 12:00 tomorrow,
we have orders to proceed with the foreclosure.
Now wait a minute, wait a minute, will you?
You gotta give me a chance.
That brewery's all I've got.
I'm gonna do big things with it.
Now look, boys, it'd be different,
see, if I didn't have the dough,
but I got it, see?
Hello?
Nora.
Anything wrong, Remy?
Come in here. I want to talk to you.
Nora...
How long has it been since we've had
a family conference?
Now look, Remy, if you're in trouble,
I wish you'd tell me.
Nora, I've always been a good provider, ain't I?
Ain't Marko always given you everything
he possibly could?
You don't have to ask me that.
What are you driving at, Remy?
Ain't I always worked hard?
Day and night, year in and year out,
and I always come up the hard way?
Remy, what are you driving at?
Will you please come to the point?
You've got me feeling like
I'm walking up a blind alley.
Well, it's like sticking a knife
in my heart, Nora,
but I gotta tell you this...
I'm broke.
You mean--you mean
you've lost the brewery--
yes, the brewery, the house in town,
the cars, everything.
Why, Remy, you're sweating
worse than a stuck hog.
Well, who wouldn't sweat?
I've been a sucker. I've been a setup
for a bunch of tinhorn moneylenders
that was only too quick to dish it out
when I was making dough,
but pull back their ears when I need it.
They're holding a note for a cheap 462 grand,
and if it ain't paid by tomorrow at noon,
everything goes.
Look, Remy, we've always been partners.
If you need dough, take my jewelry.
Take every piece of it.
Well, mama, I hate to tell you,
but for the past 6 months,
you've been wearing phonies.
Ph-- phonies?
Yeah, I pawned the real ones.
Why didn't you tell me?
Well, I thought I'd get 'em back any day.
Well then, get it some other way.
You've been in tough spots before.
You'll get out of this one.
Ah, you bet your life I will.
The trouble with Marko,
he's been playing the other guy's game.
I've been trying to be legitimate,
and it ain't my racket.
I don't know the rules,
so I'm gonna play my own game.
Starting right this minute, I'm gonna be illegitimate.
Remy.
Yeah, I know what I'm talking about.
It ain't too late, and I'm gonna make
a good beginning right now.
What you gonna do?
I'm going right out there, and I'm gonna
grab me Mary's boyfriend's old man,
and I'm gonna sell him a half interest in the brewery.
Hey, uh, Mike. Where's Whitewood?
The old gent, I mean.
He was laying on a couch
until myrtle spilled some wine on him.
Then I don't know where he got to.
Milk? Who's sick?
Nobody.
The missis told me to take it up
to the orphan.
One side, or lose a leg.
Come on, kid. Open up.
It's Mike with some milk.
If you don't want to get babbled on,
take it back and bring me
a bottle of beer.
All right. You can come down
and get it yourself.
Hey, open it up, boss.
Well, don't point it at me.
Oh!
Oh, there you are.
Where have you been, old-timer?
Say, I've been looking all over for you.
Nora wants to truck with you.
Mr. Marko, isn't there some place
where we can have a little talk--
privately? Yeah, sure.
See, I was getting around to that myself.
Let's step right in here to the library.
Have a chair.
Have a cigar?
Thank you. Not just now.
Oh, well then, take some home with you.
Smoke 'em later. You'll like 'em.
Look, got my name on 'em.
Nothing cheap about Marko, is there?
Here, take that one with you, too.
Mr. Marko, let us come to the point at once.
I refer, of course, to the situation
between your daughter and my son.
Oh, you mean about their getting married?
Precisely.
Naturally, I'm deeply concerned.
Well, from now on,
you don't have to worry anymore.
I got good news for you.
You have?
Yeah. I decided to let 'em get married.
You have decided?
Yeah, I thought you'd be surprised.
What with your kid being a cop
and me not knowing anything about his family.
You infer that you accept us,
that you don't know who we are?
Yeah.
I'm willing to take a chance.
That's very gracious of you, indeed.
Hey, now wait a minute.
Now, that ain't only as far
as I'm gonna go, see?
Just to show you that my heart's
in the right place,
I'm willing to let you be a partner in my business.
Just what is your business?
A brewery.
And seeing how it's all gonna be in the family,
I'm willing to let you buy in easy.
For just about how much?
Oh, not much. You know, just enough
to give you a rooting interest.
Say...
Oh, about a half a million?
Not much. Only half a million?
Well, I might let you press it a little.
Mr. Marko, I should like to say
that this is an experience
that I shall never forget.
Now, wait a minute. Don't thank me.
Please, don't do that.
The first thing you know, you'll embarrass me.
How about having a little glass of beer, hmm?
Marko's gold velvet.
It's the tops.
I ought to know. I make it.
No, really, I--I--I--
come on, now. Drink it, will you?
It's the best beer on the market.
See, I got an idea.
I got my pictures on the bottles.
When you're my partner,
I'll put yours on the cans.
Go on. Now drink it.
Hmm? What's the matter?
What's the matter?
Hmm?
What was...
In that glass?
It's Marko's beer.
What's the matter, don't you like it?
It is positively the vilest,
most revolting stuff I have ever tasted!
What?
You got the nerve to tell Marko
that his beer--
is absolutely rotten!
Say, you say another word about my beer,
and I'll throw you right out that window!
That will be quite unnecessary.
I assure you, Mr. Marko,
I haven't got a penny to put into your brewery.
And furthermore,
I am going to remove the whitewoods
and their police blood
out of your house this very minute.
What?
That's the kind of family
my daughter wanted to marry into.
Why, Mr. Whitewood. What's the matter?
I'm terrible sorry, Mrs. Marko,
but I'm afraid I'm going to have
another one of my fainting spells.
If I could just get a little fresh air.
You'll do nothing of the kind.
What you need is rest and a little quiet.
You come right upstairs with me.
Uh, could I know just where we're going to get
this peace and quiet?
You bet your life.
You're going right upstairs to the back bedroom
and have a good night's sleep.
Come on.
Hmm. He don't like my beer.
The most revolting stuff he--
why, it's delicious.
What's the matter, boss?
Anything wrong?
Where's lefty?
In the pantry putting more beer on ice.
Come here, you guys. Both of you.
Here.
Come on. Drink this beer, all of you.
Oh, boss. You know I don't drink beer.
I ain't drunk no beer
since I been working for you.
Me neither, boss. My stomach.
Come on. You heard what I said.
Drink this beer.
Sure, sure. I'll try it.
I like this beer.
What's the matter?
You don't look so good.
I'm all right now, boss.
I just got a stitch in my side
when I was drinking it.
Come on, you guys, it's your turn now.
What's the matter?
You look a little green.
I always turn a little green
this time of the year, boss.
Now, come on, come on. What do you think of it?
The beer, boss?
Well, that's what you just drunk, ain't it?
Sure, sure. It's beer all right.
Ain't bad, boss.
Oh, it ain't bad, huh?
No, it's pretty good beer, boss.
"Pretty good, ain't bad."
You know what I think?
You're all a bunch of cheap liars.
Oh, I wouldn't say that, boss.
Why, it's the rottenest, vilest,
and most revoltingest stuff
you ever tasted, ain't it?
Come on, now. Speak up.
Be on the level with me.
Speak up. Ain't it?
It's pretty bad, boss.
To tell you the truth, boss,
it tastes like something
that's turned.
You, Mike. How do you feel?
Like I was cauterized.
Yeah, and yet you kept your mouths shut.
All the time you guys knew
that Marko's beer tasted like bottled shellac,
and yet you don't wise him up at all.
Not a peep out of you guys.
Yeah, you're supposed to be Marko's friends,
and you don't wise him up at all.
We didn't want to hurt your feelings.
No, you'd rather see me go broke, wouldn't you,
and in the gutter?
No, boss.
Yeah, but Marko ain't beat yet.
Now I know what's wrong.
Now I know why we ain't selling beer.
It's because we ain't got good beer.
What we need is somebody who knows how to make beer,
good beer.
And starting right this minute,
I'm going to get myself
the best brewmaster in the country,
in the world!
And just you watch Marko go ahead, hmm.
Ain't you forgetting something, boss?
What?
That mortgage.
You won't own that brewery
after tomorrow.
Yeah, that's right.
Forgot that.
Who's that in the kitchen?
Look, boss, look.
Hey, what is that, Douglas, beer?
It ain't straw.
Well, now, look. Marko don't want
you should drink that no more.
Why not?
We get it for nothin', don't we?
But it is not good for you, Douglas,
and Mr. Marko wants you to watch your health
so you'll be an athletic when you grow up.
Ain't that so, boss?
Yeah, gipper's right.
Now you go on upstairs,
and Mike will bring you a sidecar.
Aw, make it a double one, boss.
It'll save me some trips.
Boss, what's this thing
stickin' out of his pocket?
What?
Must be the beer. I ain't seeing right.
A grand note.
A thousand bucks, all in one piece!
Sure, my pockets are full of 'em.
What?
Now, look. Look, Douglas.
Marko wants you should tell him
where you got all these.
Upstairs in my room. I look under my bed,
and there's a whole suitcase full of 'em.
Well, come on. Show us.
Sure!
Hey, you got all day, for crying out loud!
All day!
Where is it, huh?
Gee, that's funny.
I left it right out in the middle of the floor.
Now, show me the money, will you?
That's all Marko's worried about.
Where is it, hmm?
Somebody must have shoved it back under the bed.
Oh. Whoa!
There it is, huh?
You think that's it?
Look!
Well, I'll be a name.
Say, sad Sam's name is on this pack.
Boss, don't you get the angle?
What?
This must be the bookies' dough.
The mob that knocked over that truck
brought that money up here.
That's it. Sure.
While they wait here for me,
one of their own guys bumps off the other 4.
But just as he's going to leave,
gip and lefty drive up, so he's gotta duck
and leave this hot stuff here.
Certainly.
I figure there's half a million bucks here.
That's what sad Sam says was tooken.
Boss, you ain't broke no more!
What, you mean all this dough
belongs to Marko now?
Well, why not?
You rented the joint, didn't you?
Nobody else knows about it, do they?
Now, wait a minute.
All this dough belongs to the bookies.
Yeah...
But Marko's beginning to see the light.
Mike?
Here, you mugs, take this dough downstairs
to the library and stick with it.
Marko's gonna put over
the sweetest little job you ever seen.
But, boss--
you heard me, take it downstairs!
I've got to get to a telephone right away.
You heard him.
Put it in.
Come on.
Oh, look, lady.
Get me the shawford hotel.
I want to talk to Mr. post and Mr. Ritter.
Hello? Yes.
Who? Oh, hello, Remy.
What?
That's exactly what I said.
You just better get over here right away.
Yeah, you said it.
It certainly is most important, sweetheart.
Hey, you got a pool table
in this joint?
It's too late for that. You go to bed now.
You're a lifesaver, Douglas.
Now listen, you guys.
If what Marko's gonna do goes over,
we'll all be out of the woods.
I'm expecting post and Ritter, get it?
Them are the guys from the bank, ain't it?
Right. Now as soon as they get here,
here's what I want you guys to do.
Hey, Mike. How about some more drinks?
Mike, where are you?
Hey, Kurt.
Come here.
What's up?
Don't crack, but I think I know
who stuck up the bookies' truck.
Look.
Say, that's the money wrapper
with your name on it.
Where'd you find it?
On the kitchen floor, just now.
Say, I'll bet Remy done that stickup.
Well, certainly he did, else how could this get here?
He had no business doing that.
No.
Of course, we're insured.
I know, but he shouldn't have done it.
Is it nice to do that among friends?
No, it ain't polite,
and him not saying a word to us about it.
I don't like him trying to outsmart us.
And he made out like it was all news to him.
It's a bad sign
trying to outsmart your friends.
Besides, there's a reward.
Say, I never thought of that.
Kurt, there ain't no 2 ways about it.
Much as we hate to do it,
we gotta put the law on him.
You fellas wanted me?
Yeah, we, uh...
We got a job for you, copper.
We want you to put the arm
on Remy Marko.
Put the arm?
Arrest him, stupid.
You get the credit,
and we get the reward, see?
Arrest Mr. Marko? What for?
For sticking up the bookies' truck
this afternoon.
Mr. Marko, please.
Mr. post and Mr. Ritter.
Yeah. He's waiting for youse.
Come in. He's in the library.
But I can't do what you're asking me.
In the first place, I don't think Mr. Marko likes me.
What's that got to do with it?
Mr. Marko is a very impulsive man.
I don't think I want to arrest him.
But you're supposed to do
your duty, ain't you?
Yes, but I'm engaged to his daughter.
Ha! Most fellas would be glad
to put their father-in-laws in jail.
60,000. 61,000.
Come in.
Them mugs--gents are here from the bank.
121,000. 122,000.
123,000. Hello, boys.
124,000. 126,000.
Sit down, boys.
128,000. 129.
Got my note with you, boys?
Remy, about that note of yours.
We've been thinking over that extension.
What's the matter?
You've been screaming your ears off
about that small change for 6 weeks.
Remy, you've always been a good customer--
well, here it is. Take it.
Yeah?
What's the matter?
Boss, I positively got to speak to you.
Excuse me, gents.
Certainly, Remy.
What's the idea of interrupting Marko
like this?
I nearly got 'em hooked in there.
Boss, I just found out
old man Whitewood collapsed
and the missis stuck him in that back bedroom.
Well, it's ok with me if she put him in the icebox.
But, boss, wait a minute.
All night long we've been trying to tell you,
and every time you give us a busy signal.
Tell me what?
Those parties are in the closet in that room.
Gallagher and little Dutch,
you know those parties we found here.
Are you drunk?
No, boss, but they're up there.
But we just took them away.
How did they get back?
They didn't walk, did they?
Say, is somebody getting fresh with Marko?
Boss, we boys brought 'em back ourselves,
but we didn't want to put 'em
in the same room with Douglas.
We don't trust that Douglas.
What's the idea of bringing 'em back?
We just stuck 'em around where they do some good.
They're worth 40 grand, boss,
the paper says, dead or alive.
Why, you dopes.
You know I can't afford
to have those bodies found around here.
Especially the condition they're in.
But for 40 grand, boss?
Yeah, for 40 grand.
For 40 grand, you'd ruin my social reputation,
you dope.
But, boss, what'll I do if they open the closet?
Well, uh...
Well, you explain it to them.
But what'll I say?
Well, uh, listen. I'm busy.
Explain to him how it's all natural
and ok and a big surprise to all of us.
Be a big surprise.
Now, let's get this over with.
You got my note?
Yes, Remy.
We wish you'd reconsider this.
I'd like to string along with you boys
and renew that note,
but Marko just can't forget a couple of dirty cracks
you made about Marko's credit.
You know, you hurt me, boys.
Oh, Remy, you're too big a man.
Yeah, but you hurt me.
You'll never know how much.
Come in!
Mr. Marko, can I see you a minute?
No. Can't you see I'm busy?
Come on. Get out of here!
Go on, scram!
What is this, a conspiracy or something?
I want a policeman.
But what about your board of directors?
You leave them to us.
We'll assume full responsibility.
Yeah. Here's a renewal for a year. Sign it.
Well, you boys win.
You know, that's Marko's one great fault...
Sentiment.
I'm signing this, understand,
only because I love you.
M-a-y-k-o, Marko.
That's it. Not bad, huh?
Remy, I knew you were too big a man
to hold a grudge.
I'm amazed at you, Remy,
thinking your credit wasn't any good.
Well, forget it, pals.
I guess it's maybe just because Marko never tried
to put anything over on anybody
that makes 'em a little sensitive.
Aah!
You boys staying for the party?
No, thanks. We'll run along.
Oh, that's too bad.
Come on. I'll show you to the door.
Robbers! Bandits! Call the police!
The whole room's full of robbers up there!
Just a minute, boys.
It's one of my guests.
He's had a little too much to drink,
and seeing as how he's very prominent,
I think it might be a little embarrassing
for him to see you.
So, would you two boys mind leaving by the window?
Would you mind doing Marko that little favor?
Why, certainly, Remy.
Anything to please you.
Right this way.
Opens on the driveway, see?
Good night, Remy.
Thanks a lot.
Pleasure was all mine, boys.
Pipe down, please. Pipe down.
Now, one at a time.
Now, what's this whole thing about?
Mr. Marko, as an officer of the law, I arrest you.
Oh, no, you don't.
I got something to tell you.
Right here in this bag
is a half a million bucks
that was stolen off the armored truck.
Half a million bucks?
Now, you being a cop,
I think you ought to turn it in.
Wait a minute, boss.
Shut up.
Now you...
What's the idea of you
acting like a hoodlum in Marko's home?
That closet upstairs, there's someone in it.
A lot of people. It's outrageous!
You must be dippy.
I go to the closet to hang up my coat,
and there are 4 of your friends...
With guns.
Well, can you imagine that?
Can it be that somebody's intruding on Marko?
One of them attacked me.
The rest of them waved their fists
and their guns at me.
Say, I got an idea.
They must be the guys that held up the truck.
That's it, boss.
Them folks upstairs must be the bandits.
Why, certainly. Bandits?
Say, they could be at that.
Oh, let's get out of here.
Now look here, young fella.
You're a cop. Now, here's your big chance.
All right.
Richard, my boy.
Richard, my son.
Say, what do you think you're doing?
Guarding the stairway.
Will you get a load of that?
He figures they're gonna leave by the front door.
Say, now listen, big boy.
You want to make a big guy
out of yourself all of a sudden?
How?
Go up to that room and start blazing away.
But, Mr. Marko--
now listen, you're a copper, ain't you?
Here's your chance to be the biggest one
in the country.
You go right up to that room
and order them to come out of that closet
with their hands up.
But suppose they don't?
I'll lay you 500 to one they don't.
Well, if they don't,
or if they even hesitate,
you start popping.
Only don't try and open that closet door,
will you, or they'll shoot your ears off.
They're dead--shots.
Mr. Marko, don't you think
we better wait for reinforcements?
I've already called the police.
Young man, you're wearing the uniform
of your country.
Well, anyways, your state.
Do you want these people to think
that you disgraced it?
He's right, my son.
You are a Whitewood.
Why, certainly.
You're gonna make a big rep
for yourself tonight, kid.
Come on. I'll go with you.
That's my son.
Don't apologize, pop.
You can't help it.
In there!
Come on, come on.
Here, there's the closet.
Come out.
Come out with your hands up, or I'll shoot.
Guess they ain't coming out.
Well, what will I do?
Uh, I hate to kind of mess up this place,
but seeing as how it's a rented house,
you better start shooting.
Now, wait a minute.
Bring it over about 7 or 8 feet.
That's it. A little lower.
Give 'em a sixth just for good luck.
You know, something tells Marko you got 'em.
Yeah, all 4 of 'em.
Oh, gee, must have been the strain
on you, huh?
Hey, what's the idea waking me up?
I'm going back to the orphanage.
Now look, Douglas.
You go back to bed, will you?
Be a nice boy.
What happened to him?
Well, he's fainted.
He must have been nervous.
What are you trying to do?
Leaving a trace on him to make it look good.
Oh, no, no. I wouldn't do that
if I were you, I--
Richard, my boy!
Speak to me, speak to me.
That's all right, pop. He's okey-doke.
You know, just from all the excitement.
I wouldn't worry about him.
What's going on here?
Well, this young fella lying here on the floor
just got the stickup mob single-handed.
Biggest exhibition of nerve I ever seen.
One of 'em pretty near crowned the sergeant.
What's that?
The one on the roof.
He almost fell on top of him.
Say that again.
His name is innocence.
He was with the little Dutch mob.
Slug through the window got him in the shoulder,
knocked him off the roof right into our hands.
Move over, mug, and make room for Marko.