https://torrentgalaxy.to/profile/HashMiner ♪ ♪
-Uh, yes. -Man: What is the company your with?
A-I-M Holographics.
♪ ♪
Amazing.
It's just amazing.
The NFDA is the largest funeral directors organization,
and they've got the single largest convention in the country.
If you've got anything to do with the funeral industry,
you're here.
So, I'm happy to be here.
(chuckling) This is great.
(fife and drum corps playing)
♪ ♪
So, what we're doing is we're holding a mobile device
near any of our products, and up comes
a full digital footprint of that person.
All their social media links, picture albums, video albums,
even a GPS location of where that person may be at.
-(clicks) -Ooh!
-Celebrate life today. -Carl Minardo: That's right.
Let my values guide you.
Minardo: Why wouldn't you wanna do this for your own legacy,
and say it yourself from your heart
what was important to you in your life with no filter?
Your words, your image.
But this gives you an idea of how realistic it is.
That's what you would look like
in your eulogy or your life legacy
when you're talking about yourself.
♪ ♪
So everything that you see here that we create
is fully customizable.
If you think it, we can make it.
You know, it's all about making that dream come to reality.
Woman: This is Beloved. We write custom
personalized obituaries, and we...
turn over a custom piece within 30 hours or less.
This is a Handful of Home,
beautifully crafted containers holding pure Irish earth.
It allows families to lay their loved ones to rest
in the very earth of their ancestors.
Man: We provide biodegradable and eco-friendly urns
and caskets for those alternative consumers
that maybe don't want embalming
or traditional caskets or traditional burials.
♪ ♪
Many of the funeral homes don't use the word "urn"
anymore as much as they use the word
"memorial art" because there are so many options.
You can take cremated remains
and place them in a sculpture,
give them to an artist and put them inside portraiture,
or interwoven inside of the glass.
Man: In the next 10 years,
I believe a lot of funeral homes will end up closing,
just because they're afraid of change.
Those who aren't afraid of change,
they will be very successful.
♪ ♪
(waves swashing)
♪ ♪
(birds twittering)
(clicks)
(bird screeches)
♪ ♪
Leila Johnson: My dad passed away a handful of months ago,
and I'm here with my Auntie Brenda and my mother
to offer his cremains to the ocean.
Oh, you got that picture. That's great.
-(laughing) -And as you see, he loved boating, and we loved fishing.
-A lot of that happened. -Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah.
(sighs)
This is my favorite picture.
-Brenda: I know, that's so beautiful. -Linda: Isn't that lovely?
♪ ♪
Leila: He loved the ocean and spent his whole life on the water.
So, I did research and spent a lot of time
on trying to figure out...
what would be right, how to honor him,
what felt good, and, um...
I wish he, um...
he could know, um...
(sniffles) the decision I made.
'Cause I know how much he would love it.
Um, I know how much the ocean meant to him.
(indistinct chattering)
These are my dad's...
cremated remains.
I'm finding it very hard to let go,
but, um...
putting them in a good place to rest is...
is the idea.
We've been waiting
for a resting place.
We've been waiting to do something
very, very significant,
and it's happening.
So, this is allowing us to go forward in a very positive way.
Just don't wanna let them go.
As much as I feel that it's part
of the process,
and, you know, just holding onto them didn't quite feel
right as well, but...
still, I don't wanna let them go.
Okay, so...
We have to do this, let's do it.
(chuckling)
♪ ♪
Brenda: My family used to have
these big funerals in the cemetery,
and my brothers and I both have very bad memories of that.
-(chuckles) -Do you?
Yeah, we didn't like that.
Well, all of our family were in this Brooklyn cemetery,
the grandparents, the uncles and aunts,
and it was like this Sunday afternoon thing to do.
We just didn't like it.
So, this is a very different way to...
-very different way to honor somebody, I think. -Absolutely.
Very good thing to do.
Linda: It's gonna be very good for her.
She has not had time to grieve.
These are called layer cakes,
and these are actually-- this is all part of the plan
for helping to rebuild the environment,
and create new habitat.
Our whole goal is making people understand
that reef loss is serious.
You know, in Hawaii, coral bleaching has devastated the reef.
The Great Barrier Reef has been really devastated
by coral bleaching.
Engineered reefs are one of the solutions that can help
try to offset the reef that's already been lost.
When we place your father's remains in our reef,
we mix the ashes and the concrete in a small container,
which then gets cemented inside the reef ball.
That structure's gonna last 500 years or more.
And that is the legacy.
Not only is it a resting place for your loved ones,
but it is an active, producing part of the environment.
It's creating new life
and will do so for hundreds of years to come.
This is awesome.
-Isn't it? -I think it's so awesome.
Oh, it feels so good to be a part of.
Berkoff: Okay, so what we're gonna ask you to do is pour the ashes
-into this bucket. -Leila: Can I mix it by hand?
Berkoff: If you'd like.
(scraping)
(mutters softly)
-I think we're well mixed. -Berkoff: Yeah, whenever you're ready.
-Whenever you're ready, dear. -Okay.
-Do you need a hand with that? -Nope.
-Can you handle that? -Yep.
Berkoff: Okay.
♪ ♪
Berkoff: Excellent job. Excellent job.
That's so special, honey. You put a lot of love into it.
I felt it.
These are just to keep him company.
♪ ♪
-Linda: Have you got more chalk? -Yes.
-I'm gonna grab more... -Yeah.
♪ ♪
(tractor rumbling)
♪ ♪
-Man: You going? -Man 2: Yeah.
Man: Okay. One...
two... three.
♪ ♪
(muffled thud)
♪ ♪
(burbling)
(mariachi band playing)
(applause)
(whooping)
♪ ♪
(whooping)
-(music ends) -Sí, señor!
(cheers, applause)
(birds chirping)
♪ ♪
(pills rattling)
This is my Sunday morning routine:
prepare Mom and Dad's medication for the week.
Dad, he has COPD,
and he has lung cancer,
and he's got cancer in his liver,
and he's got renal failure.
Mom has Parkinson's and Mom has diabetes.
It's been rough on the family because there's
five boys and one girl,
and we all have jobs.
We all have responsibilities, and we all have to...
live our lives, but in the past year and a half,
we've learned to alter our lives
to take care of Mom and Dad now because that's...
(pills rattling)
They did a good job taking care of us.
Now, we need to take care of them.
And, you know,
they're good parents.
I wouldn't trade them-- Like I tell everybody,
I got the best job in the world. I take care of Mom and Dad.
I get to drink a cup of coffee
with my mother and father every morning.
And then I do my life.
Hey, bro.
-Daniel: What are you doing? -Breakfast.
-Daniel: Huh? -Making breakfast today.
Yeah.
(Amalia Cuevas speaks)
-Yeah. -(Amalia laughs)
Alicia: They served you coffee. Is that your first cup or your second?
(gasps) Your third cup.
-Uh-huh. -Oh, wow.
(indistinct chatter)
Here you go, Daddy. Let me comb your hair.
Get your hair to sit down here.
How's he look now, Mom?
-Amalia: Okay. -Good?
-Amalia: Yes. -Okay.
-(Daniel wolf whistles softly) -(laughter)
♪ ♪
This is my mom's parents,
and this, my grandma's parents,
and that's my grandpa's parents.
My grandpa was born in Seguin, Texas,
and my grandma, these are her parents.
They are Mexico descendants.
This is Daddy here.
They used to pick fields to make money,
and that's actually where my mom and dad met is on the fields.
That's when they got married.
They were teenagers at the time,
very young.
Just babies.
They didn't know what they were doing,
but they sure did do something right.
(laughs)
It's very important to know where you came from.
This is my little Cuevas museum.
(laughs)
Our museum of love,
a museum of life.
(dog barking)
(laughter)
Come back!
♪ ♪
-(door creaks) -Alicia: Hey, guys. We're gonna pray so we can eat.
(indistinct chatter)
Come on, Daddy. Stand over here.
Wait, where's my bear?
-Okay, is that everybody? -Yes.
Alicia: Father God, we give you thanks for the blessings of tonight.
We ask you to bless us within our week,
especially this coming Sunday
for my daddy as we celebrate his life.
We ask you to bless this food we're about to eat and the hands that prepared it,
and all those that are in need. In your grateful name we pray.
All: Amen.
(indistinct chatter)
Kissy toabuelo.
(laughs)
Did you give kissy toabuela
Kissy toabuela.
Pretty baby.
Who's ready for bingo?
Let's get it going. Let's get some money on the table.
♪ ♪
Guadalupe: The living wake's gonna be a wonderful day...
'cause I'll see everybody around me.
♪ ♪
And I love it when all my family is around me.
Especially I got some grandkids and great-grandkids.
They're the most important little things in my life. (chuckles)
I'm gonna feel great.
I'm gonna feel the luckiest person in the world.
Girl: Bingo.
-Woman: Oh, she got it. -(cheering)
-Say it again, baby. -Say it loud. Bingo!
-Bingo! -(laughter)
♪ ♪
That's what I needed.
(sizzling)
Daniel: Phew! That's what you want. See how juicy it is?
That's the Cuevas chicken right there.
♪ ♪
(indistinct chattering)
Yeah, right there. Right there.
Yeah, right here.
(mariachi band playing)
(applause)
(whooping)
(music continuing)
(speaking indistinctly)
♪ ♪
Sí, señor!
(cheering)
I wanna thank everybody for showing up.
And...
let you know how much I appreciate all of you all,
especially my brothers,
my sister,
and my wife and my kids.
And I'm proud of them, too.
I wanna thank all of you.
(applause)
♪ ♪
Thank you everyone for coming today
to my daddy's living wake.
My daddy's come a long way,
and, Daddy, we're proud of you.
We love you for who you are.
We're grateful for everything you've given us, Dad...
and I'm especially grateful
for the woman you raised me to be.
And I know my brothers are grateful
for the men that you raised.
We love you very much.
I love you, too.
♪ ♪
(indistinct chattering)
Guadalupe Jr.: He knows that we love him.
I tell him every day I can because one day,
I'm not gonna be able to tell him to his face.
That's what the wake is about. It's about...
making sure the guy that's leaving knows he's loved.
♪ ♪
(shutter clicks)
♪ ♪
(birds twittering)
♪ ♪
Barbara Jean: I process death by just...
facing it. It's like,
this is what's happening.
This is what's been given to me.
Death is part of life.
When they told me that I had pancreatic cancer,
my doctor, he just took one look at me and said,
"This is not good and you need to get your affairs in order."
For most of my life, I thought that I would be cremated,
but I chose a green burial because...
being able to give back to the Earth
just really resonated with me.
♪ ♪
TJ: You'll get to see Eloise Woods. It's peak flowering season.
Yeah, that's right. Yeah, I'm excited.
-I'm really excited to go out here. -Mm-hmm.
TJ: But it's funny. You know, people will ask
why are you taking off work, and, you know,
"Oh, I'm going with my friend to pick out her burial plot."
(laughing): And like the...
Barbara Jean: It stops the conversation.
-TJ: It really does. -Yeah, that's right.
♪ ♪
-TJ: Here it is! -Back to nature!
Back to nature, yes.
All right.
♪ ♪
TJ: I got you.
-(grunts) -Good twist.
-Hello. -Oh! I'm TJ.
So, instead of TJ and BJ,
you're gonna be Barbara 'cause I will never get these right.
-Okay. -Yep.
Barbara, that's fine.
TJ: First, there's something
I wanted you to take
BJ to see, but I don't want her to know
the name of it until we get there.
-So, you're gonna whisper this... -Yes, or I can point it.
Or you can point. Oh yeah, a lot of people like that name.
Well, and I will let her explain
-the significance when we get there. -Ellen: Significance!
So, you can show her anything, except just cover that up.
-It'll be a surprise. -Ellen: Okay.
♪ ♪
(birds twittering)
♪ ♪
Ellen: Now see, here's a burial plot
that's fairly new.
She was just in a shroud,
and so there's not too much soil.
But in a natural burial park,
we dig relatively shallowly
because it's in the first feet of topsoil that are all
the elements that would help a body go back to nature
-as quickly as possible. -Sure.
-Barbara Jean: I think this is so neat. -TJ: Yeah.
Ellen: So, over here, this is called Quiet Time Garden.
It's where my plots are and that's my mother.
She was just buried in August.
-Aw, wow. -And my plots are gonna be around the corner
where there's more of those yellow flowers,
and I have, like, six cats that are over there...
-Aw. -...waiting for me.
-You can even have a tree right here. -Yep.
-If you wanna be around... -Yeah?
-...a lot of my crazy family members and cats. -Cats.
(laughs)
-Barbara Jean: That sounds pretty good. -TJ: Yeah.
So, this is the division, and...
so you can see how there's
-a whole big area right there... -Yep.
-...and you can see there's gonna be a lot of sun. -Yep.
This is called Moon Dancer Garden.
Oh my God! (laughing)
You gonna explain the significance
of what that means to you?
The email that I've had for, what, 40 years
-is Moon Dancer. -Oh, really?
A lot of people love the name and they go, I wanna be buried--
I wanna be buried in Moon Dancer! I do, too.
Okay, so let's talk about what's available here then because--
Almost anything you see.
If you want, I can go out and put up one of my orange flags.
It could be as close to the trail as you want,
or you can come all the way back here.
I'll just put this kind of in the middle.
Barbara Jean: That looks good.
Ellen: All right.
So, but now, if you like Moon Dancer,
you can picture yourself in that spot
and you know where you're gonna be.
Some people come and they'll lay down on the ground and look up
and go, okay, so this is what I'm gonna be looking at. (chuckles)
I wouldn't suggest it though 'cause you'll get chiggers.
-(laughs) -Yeah! Chiggers I don't need
with all my other problems.
Ellen: No, but you can imagine it now.
Barbara Jean: Yeah, I can.
All right. Off we go.
♪ ♪
(birds singing)
Barbara Jean: The day of my death, how I envision it,
all I wanna do is pass with grace and dignity.
TJ and her mother, Janie,
have agreed to come
and wash my body.
The fact that they're doing that, I mean, it...
It's very humbling, really. (laughs) You know?
That's a big ask.
I think that's a big ask of people, you know?
But...
It's just, it's love, really. It's just...
the overwhelming...
feeling of love and support
so unconditional,
and...
(sighs)
...that's it. (chuckles)
♪ ♪
-TJ: Thank you, guys. -Others (murmuring): Thank you.
(birds twittering)
♪ ♪
Okay?
Ellen: Now, let's make a circle around Barbara.
Woman: Good morning, friends.
I wanna welcome you here today
as we remember the love and the light
that Barbara reflected into our world.
TJ: She was adamant that she wanted her life
to go into the life of something else.
So, we'll be planting a tree.
She wanted it planted with her
'cause she wanted to begin nurturing the tree right away.
Ellen: Okay, so I think we need some strong people in the middle.
Yeah, watch the ropes.
♪ ♪
Okay, now slowly on my count.
One, two,
three, gently.
Ellen: Right there.
♪ ♪
Thank you.
♪ ♪
-Announcer:...six, five, four, -Crowd: ...six, five, four,
-three, two, one... -three, two, one...
-Announcer:Fire. -Crowd: Blastoff!
(roaring)
♪ ♪
(crowd cheering)
Boy: I am here for my daddy, Adam.
He used to tell my mom to shoot him into space when he dies.
Woman 1: I found this after he passed,
as I was searching for what I could do to honor him.
Woman 2: We're sending her on her final adventure,
and we know that she's here
with us and that she is so excited.
This is symbolically his flight to the great beyond.
He loved space so much--
when he was a kid to as an adult.
My father was not ready to die.
He did not have plans to die.
He did not have a will.
But the only thing we really knew for sure
that he wanted was a memorial spaceflight.
♪ ♪
Sara: My father, Tuna, was...
a really incredible guy.
He had a variety of interests throughout his life.
He was fascinated by space and time travel,
and the possibilities for that.
But he was pretty confident that in his lifetime,
he would never get to space.
And sending some of his material to space,
he didn't think about it like
"my spirit is going to space."
-(rocket roaring) -He thought about it like,
we're just sending a little bit of humanity up there
to see what happens, and into the unknown.
And he definitely wanted to be a part of that.
Hey!
-You made it! -We made it.
-How are you? -Good. You ready for this destination funeral?
(laughter)
I love that.
♪ ♪
Charles Chafer: This is the mission control.
This is a mostly NASA funded mission,
and we are always, what's called, a secondary payload.
And basically, almost all rockets over-perform.
They have more ability to lift than they sell.
So, we just tuck ourselves in and...
hitch a ride, and that's really been the thing
that allows Celestis to exist.
Man: Okay, welcome in, guys!
Next to Jerry is actually our firing box.
You can see one red case that's
toggled up. That is the button
that will be pushed to fire the rocket.
-Woman: Wow. -(laughing)
And who are you here for?
-My son. -Your son. Nice.
His favorite phrase was, "Let me off this planet!"
-(laughter) -So, we've managed that.
-Yeah, we have. -I had a feeling we might
be a group of characters...
-Yeah, yeah. -I think you're right on that.
-Right on the money. -Sara: I think we are.
(indistinct chattering)
Man: Welcome, everybody, to launchpad one.
Your payloads are in that blue nose tip in the very front.
If you look up there, just above the American flag,
that's where they are.
The first time we did this years ago,
I had never done something like that,
and Charlie had approached us, and it's very touching.
You know, so we're all thinking about you.
We will be tomorrow as well.
♪ ♪
Sara: When my father died, I was not ready
because I wanted my children
to get more from him.
He was such an incredible human being,
and I think this is a unique opportunity
to say we saw a rocket launch,
and part of our grandfather was on that rocket.
-Sara: Guys. -Lisa: Okay, guys, come here.
This remind you of Tuna?
(laughing)
Isn't this awesome?
So, when your Grandpa Tuna died,
I brought it to the memorial and I had
tons of people sign it.
And so, it's filled
with things of people
remembering Tuna.
And so, I wanna give this to you guys so you'll have it
so you can learn more about your Grandpa Tuna.
So, here you go.
Thank you so much.
(crying)
(sniffling)
(kids chattering)
I know. I know it is.
-Announcer:45 seconds. -Woman: 45 seconds.
(excited chattering)
Announcer: Stand by for T-minus 30 seconds on my mark.
Woman: 30 seconds!
Announcer: Three, two, one,
mark. T-minus 30 seconds and counting.
-The vehicle is armed. -(applause)
(cheering)
(laughter)
Announcer: All right, we're putting the count at T-minus...
-10, nine, eight, -All: 10, nine, eight,
-seven, six, -seven, six,
-five, four, three, -five, four, three,
-two, one... -two, one...
-Announcer:Fire. -Crowd: Blastoff!
-(cheering) -(roaring)
(applause)
Oh my God!
So long and thanks for all the fish!
(laughter)
(applause, cheering)
-Oh my God, that was amazing! -That was incredible!
That was so cool! Wasn't that cool?
-That was incredible! -That was so cool.
Hey, guys!
Grandpa Tuna's an astronaut!
(laughter)
(indistinct chattering)
♪ ♪
(Announcer speaking)
(cheering)
-Boy: It's now in space? -The vehicle is now in space.
It is successful.
It is, it was a successful rocket launch.
♪ ♪
Dick Shannon: My observation about the way people die,
at least in America, is...
they either don't-- are not allowed the opportunity
to be part of the process.
From my way of thinking,
the part that bothers me just immensely
is not being allowed
to be part of that process. It's my death.
Go with what you believe,
but don't tell me what I have to do.
I know that you saw Dr. Ganguli
down at Stanford again in November,
and that was after the last CT scan of the lungs.
-Yeah. -So, what's your understanding of that CT scan?
My lungs are full
-of little nodules. -Yeah.
-And it's-- -Commonly called metastasized.
Metastasis, and it's... they're growing.
-Yeah. -You know...
-It's obvious to me... -Mm-hmm.
...that we have just a limited amount of time.
-How much time that is, I don't know. -Right.
-But we're gonna go down the path until we have none. -Yeah.
-Deleaua: We have the end of life medication. -Doctor: Yeah.
It's at home in a box up in the top of the closet.
If it's okay, I'd like to just review...
-Deleaua: I think that'd be great. -...what we need to do
with taking the medication. So,
-it can't be taken in a public location. -Right.
If you needed help with preparing the medication,
that would be fine.
But actually drinking, or taking the medication,
that's something that you'd need to do yourself.
There's a lot of narcotic in it,
so you slip into a coma within a few minutes,
and then, typically, people have passed within
half an hour.
It's hard to fathom...
-I go to sleep, and that's the end of it. -Doctor: Right.
-Okay. I'll never know anything different. -Right.
You can talk about losing your husband.
You can talk about
going through this, but...
-Doctor: Living-- -...it still is,
it's a really difficult process,
but it still feels like the right decision.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
Let's...
So, the scapula's been removed.
This is where the scapula's ending, and then,
-like, this shouldn't be here. -Dick: Ow.
-This lump. Is it tender when I'm pushing on it? -Yep.
-Yeah. -Ah.
All righty.
-Thank you, Doc. -You're very welcome.
-It has been a pleasure. It has been a pleasure. -Aw.
Doctor: All right.
-Bye. Thank you. -Yeah.
Okay, you all set?
Dick: This is our little box of end-of-life medications.
We've been keeping this up in our closet for safety purposes.
So, here's the recipe,
what we should mix,
how it's to be taken.
And this is
the morphine combination.
When I get to the point where I'm...
either bedridden, chair-ridden,
I'll be able to use this set of medicines
to end my life in a way that I choose.
That'll happen, um...
-when it happens. -(chuckling)
Some time in the future. We're hoping for...
a long way off, but we'll see.
-Okay? -That's it. Okay.
-We'll know where they're at. -All right. Yeah.
♪ ♪
(bottles clinking)
-Okay, give me... Yeah. -You got it?
Dick: When I think about my death...
it's bothersome to me not knowing...
what it's going to be like.
Is there anything after that?
♪ ♪
How can I miss my loved ones?
My dear wife, who has been with me for 57 years.
If it's possible to miss her,
I will miss her every single moment.
♪ ♪
I've accepted the fact that I'm dying.
There's nothing I can do to stop it.
I can make it...
as productive as it can be.
And planning the final days of my life
gives me a sense of participation and satisfaction.
♪ ♪
(dogs barking)
-Will: Okay, deal. -(saw whirring)
Will: We have done in this shop, and together,
hundreds of projects.
And in the 30 years that we've been doing them,
I have learned so much from Dick on...
layout, thinking, engineering...
just everything. And...
and yet, this is the one project
I wish to hell we didn't ever have to build.
(sighs) You're not gonna lie down, are you?
(laughs)
You looked like you were thinking about it.
Okay.
(sighs)
-Deleaua: Whoa, wow. -So, we're gonna have to...
-be very clever about this. -Oh, because the nails--
My goodness, that looks beautiful.
Whoa.
♪ ♪
-Will: Good work, huh? -Deleaua: Isn't that amazing?
My goodness.
I haven't seen that many caskets in my life.
I've seen some metal ones that I thought were kind of...
that I didn't like,
and I've seen cardboard ones,
which were rudimentary at best.
I think this is very elegant-looking
in its simplicity, and I like that very much.
(crying softly)
Will: Now, if I could store it for another six months.
-(Dick laughs) -Will: Maybe a year, that'd work.
Dick: I think what you were trying to say, honey, is...
-rough-hewn, but elegant. -(laughing)
-Yes. -Will: You should know that
-he rehearsed that line a long time. -(laughing)
It matches me perfectly!
(laughter)
Oh boy.
-Let's get a top. -Okay.
♪ ♪
(coughs)
(coughing)
(indistinct chattering)
We're trying to set this area up for about...
40 people.
And it's-- 40 people
starts filling this up pretty fast.
We decorated with a sign up on the wall.
It kind of sets the tone for the event.
We're here to celebrate life.
All of it, but... especially the end.
My end.
(sighs)
(lively chattering)
Hi, how you doing?
Dick: For anybody that's so inclined,
we have my coffin lid
in the multipurpose room,
and there are pens there.
Feel free to write upon it,
but try to keep it clean.
(laughter)
(clinks)
-Cheerful checking out. -Cheerful checking out!
Here's to checking out cheerfully. Okay.
Mm-hmm.
I just want to say this is the first
celebration of life I've been to where I get
to say goodbye to the celebrant.
(laughter)
Thank you for that opportunity.
It's easy to live well, it's harder to die well,
-but you do it well. -Yes.
(laughing)
-I'll work on it. -Okay.
-You can do it the best. -Okay.
All right. Well, no time soon, I hope.
-I'm... I'm checking out Tuesday morning. -Tuesday morning.
♪ ♪
It's... I wanna go out...
-While you still can. Yeah. -...with a quality of life, okay?
And I can feel it deteriorating. I know it's happening.
I want it to be on my terms. Tuesday morning is it.
(indistinct chattering)
Dick, I don't know what to say, so you'll just--
I love you and I appreciate you
and this is a wonderful, wonderful gathering.
It was, it was. It was a lot of fun.
We enjoyed each other. That's what it's all about.
Dick: Frankly, it's difficult for me
to watch the people watching me.
You can see it in their eyes.
You can see it in their discomfort as to what to say.
"Geez, you look great, Dick!" I said,
"Hot dang, I feel wonderful!"
And to some extent, that's true.
And I do, apparently, look pretty good.
Um...
But I ain't, and I ain't ever gonna be.
♪ ♪
In terms of terminating my life,
my mind has been satisfied with that decision
since the very beginning.
And tomorrow will be the culmination of that.
It'll just be a question of saying goodbye.
Here's to a family gathering
like none other that'll ever be.
(clinking)
This is the last supper. Are we supposed to pose?
-Dick: Pose? -(laughing): Oh no!
-I think we should. -We talked about it.
Are we-- Do we have 12,
-what are they called? -Apostles.
(chattering)
-Dick: Okay. -(laughter)
Woman: Did you want to hear the rendition
of "Amazing Grace" that we have?
We're gonna set the speaker on top of your coffin
-as we're carrying you. -Oh, I didn't bring a speaker.
-We have a speaker. -We have a speaker that I think,
no offense, but it has a little better sound than yours does.
Woman: I think we should all just go downstairs and listen to it.
I think it's pretty impactful downstairs.
-Okay. -She can do it.
Man: Are we gonna go?
We're gonna go listen to "Amazing Grace."
(bagpipes playing "Amazing Grace")
Deleaua: Oh, goodness.
Have you got enough room? (chuckles)
(snifflles)
Oh great. We're all sitting here, full of tears.
-Will: Guys, Facebook is gonna love this. -(laughter)
-Dick: You all right? -Deleaua: Yeah, I'm all right.
Sure.
-You gotta do this without me tomorrow. -(chuckles)
Yeah. Yeah.
Will: We're thinking Wednesday, Thursday.
-Wednesday, Thursday. -(chuckles)
-Dick: Oh, Jesus. -(chuckles)
-Deleaua: You did ask to have this. -Dick: I did.
I did. I wanted this.
-Deleaua: Yeah. -Oh!
-It's really pretty. -We don't have to go through the whole thing.
I just wanted you guys...
-together. -(crying)
-(woman speaks indistinctly) -Yeah. Yeah.
Oh...
I love you guys.
(music fades)
-Deleaua: That music was-- -It's beautiful!
-Deleaua: It is. -It's absolutely gorgeous.
It is. (sighs)
Well, I'm glad you got a chance to talk with the kids that way.
I think that they appreciated it.
-Dick: It looked like a good opportunity to say... -It was perfect.
-...what I was trying to say. -That worked out really well.
I think that to be able to be genuine
in a really genuine moment...
that counts for a lot.
(sighs)
So, do you have anything that
you wanna do tomorrow morning at all?
Do you have anything that you've left undone
that you wanted to do?
-Dick: Not that I'm aware of. -Okay.
Dick: Okay.
(crickets chirping)
Deleaua: It is 9:56.
Do you wanna mix it? You want Wade to mix it?
Dick: He's standing right there.
-You think he's competent? -Deleaua: I think he's competent.
-(laughter) -Dick: Anybody can mix it, I have to consume it.
Okay. Without assistance.
Okay.
(sighs)
So, you need to be over on the couch.
-Yes, I do. -Okay.
All right, folks.
Deleaua: All right.
Will: I'm gonna say this real quick.
I just wanna thank you for everything.
(chuckling)
For the last 35 years of teaching and...
and I want that to be the last thing I say,
so I'm gonna walk over here, but...
(chuckling)
-And good luck. -Dick: Likewise.
I love you all.
(chuckling)
-Deleaua: It's all right. -Thanks a lot, Will!
-(laughter) -Deleaua: Right.
-Deleaua: Was it grim? -No.
-Not bitter? -It wasn't bad.
Deleaua: Okay.
-Dick: You'll do fine. -I will do fine.
-Make sure you do. -I will.
I will do fine.
(sighs)
It feels too early to lay down.
Don't lay down. You can still sit here and tell jokes.
-What if I fall down? -Oh, not a problem.
-I'm the therapist. I know how to get you into bed. -(Dick laughs)
Oh goodness.
Dick: You all have been so good through this whole thing,
and I regret the pain that it may cause you.
Just know that I love you,
each and every one of you. (sniffles)
(sniffles)
"Dearest Dick,
"you and Deleaua have been on my mind and in my prayers daily.
"I'm gonna be looking to the heavens as you take flight.
Give my dad a hug if you run into him."
Next one is, "I love you very, very much.
"I have learned so much from you,
"and consider your friendship a wonderful gift.
I will miss your dry humor and unselfish spirit."
(sniffles)
(snorting)
So, this is just part of the process.
Not to worry.
(gurgling)
This is just breathing at the end of life.
The body's just working hard here.
(classical music playing)
(snorts)
Wade: Do you want time alone?
I'm fine.
He can't hear me. We've...
-talked and said everything we wanted to say. -Okay.
(snorting)
(sniffles)
(music continuing)
(snorts)
(speaking softly)
♪ ♪
So, I think that he's passed,
whatever that means.
I think that he's gone.
(classical music continuing)
♪ ♪
-(birds chirping) -(mooing)
♪ ♪
(dog barking)
Emilie: Well, Ryan and I have always been very open
and honest with our kids when they ask questions.
We try to give them the truth in a way that
a five-year-old can understand,
and we've never wanted to lie or to sugarcoat anything.
This is Garrett being Garrett.
Wasn't eating his cookie. He took my mashed potatoes
instead of a cookie.
(laughter)
-(indistinct audio) -Emilie: Jump and roll.
But even on chemo, he had all that energy.
He had been taking chemo. That was that nasty stuff.
He was still doing push-ups.
Emilie: You know, I think back about life
before Garrett got sick, and...
you know, we really felt like we had everything.
We had a great house, a great family.
We got to do all of the things that we wanted to do.
Once Garrett got diagnosed with cancer,
everything just changed.
♪ ♪
This was his Make-A-Wish trip and...
he had such a good time,
even though he wasn't feeling the greatest,
and, ultimately, we ended up having to get him a wheelchair
because he just couldn't walk.
But even so, he would be like, "Mommy, take a picture of me,"
and "Mommy, look at me," and...
he was just so sweet.
Emilie: It's beautiful, isn't it?
When it's dark outside, they all glow.
That makes it very beautiful.
How about we just light the candles
and leave the luminaries in there
'cause you can't really see them.
So, this was Delfina's idea.
♪ ♪
We've been pulling some of
Garrett's favorite things in here.
He loved Batman, so we picked out
the Batman figures. And...
he used to always carry around
a koozie of Batman that we have down on the bottom.
And this is the blue bunny
that he used to take all the time
at the hospital.
And then we have...
Thor. He loved superheroes, so...
we have Thor's hammer,
as well as some other Batman stuff.
This is something that reminds her
of Garrett and brings her closer to Garrett,
and that helps.
When we got the news that he was terminal,
we never actually told Garrett that he was gonna pass away.
That he wasn't gonna live.
♪ ♪
We just started talking a lot about how
not everybody wins their battle with cancer.
And...
you know, we just really started having
some of those conversations that you never wish
that you had to have with your children.
We tried to do it as organically as we could.
You know, we'd pass a cemetery,
and Garrett would say,
"Why are funerals sad?
You know... funerals shouldn't be sad." Or,
"Why do you go to funerals if they're sad?"
And that's when we started talking and he'd say things.
"Well, at my funeral, I want five bouncy houses
"because I'm five years old, and I want snow cones,
and I want Batman to come to my funeral."
And those types of things.
And so, it really spawned for us
our want to help Garrett
have his wishes come true. So, he couldn't be here with us,
but we could make his funeral not sad.
(kids screaming)
♪ ♪
(kids chattering)
At first, I wanted a funeral.
But then I started thinking, he didn't want that.
He wanted his bouncy houses. He wanted his snow cones.
He wanted Batman. So, we made sure of all that.
We wanted to make sure people were happy
and having fun here. So, we did exactly what he wanted.
It just felt right.
(kids chattering)
Emilie: We had a celebration of life that was non-traditional
and very... happy.
Ryan: People weren't used to that, right?
This is something different,
and they didn't know what to expect.
Emilie: Everybody got really into the celebration
and it was fun. It was very much like a carnival.
It was very healing to see the beautiful things
and all of the kids having a great time.
There were so many kids here, and the laughter,
and they were running around playing and...
you know, really celebrating Garrett's life instead of...
-being sad because he had passed away. -Yeah.
Emilie: Death comes so quickly. You don't think about it
until it's happening. And then, you fall into
tradition and call a funeral home,
and you kind of fall into that routine because...
it's safe and it's the norm.
Through everything, what I learned is
that we're the biggest advocates for our family,
for ourselves, and it's okay to be different.
It's okay to do whatever makes you happy.
It's okay to do something special
that's out of the ordinary, non-traditional,
to celebrate and to honor somebody's life.
-(fireworks whistling) -(cheering)
(explosions)
(cheering)
♪ ♪
And I think that we can do the things that
are important to us and still have
all of the support from the family and from our community.
-(rocket roaring) -(cheering)
It's okay to talk about
-what you want after you pass away. -(crying)
It's okay to have those conversations.
Death doesn't have to be scary.
Hold true to what you want,
and make it happen.
(birds chirping)
♪ ♪