00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.COM 1 00:00:02,605 --> 00:00:04,772 Thanks for letting me put Halley in your room. 2 00:00:04,774 --> 00:00:06,107 Yeah, no problem. 3 00:00:06,109 --> 00:00:08,509 Oh, and, Penny, she kinda threw up on your stuffed bear. 4 00:00:08,511 --> 00:00:09,644 Oh, that's okay. 5 00:00:09,646 --> 00:00:11,846 Hey. Tha-That's an Ewok and it's mine. 6 00:00:11,848 --> 00:00:14,482 Yeah, which is why it's okay. 7 00:00:16,152 --> 00:00:18,452 See, he gets Ewoks in his bed. 8 00:00:18,454 --> 00:00:20,655 You've got Chewbacca; that's enough. 9 00:00:21,391 --> 00:00:22,690 KOOTHRAPPALI: I used to have 10 00:00:22,692 --> 00:00:24,926 the stuffed raccoon from Guardians of the Galaxy, 11 00:00:24,928 --> 00:00:27,795 but Cinnamon licked it raw. 12 00:00:29,532 --> 00:00:32,800 There's a time and place for your randy dog stories, 13 00:00:32,802 --> 00:00:36,204 and... it's never and nowhere. 14 00:00:37,106 --> 00:00:38,506 Yeah, no more stories about sex, 15 00:00:38,508 --> 00:00:40,808 so, Amy, that brings us to you. 16 00:00:40,810 --> 00:00:43,244 Well, at work we've been doing 17 00:00:43,246 --> 00:00:44,846 some interesting research with neuroprosthetics. 18 00:00:44,848 --> 00:00:45,880 PENNY: Neat. 19 00:00:45,882 --> 00:00:47,515 I've been rewatching The O.C., 20 00:00:47,517 --> 00:00:50,151 so we're all leading productive lives. 21 00:00:50,153 --> 00:00:53,354 We've been working on a computer interface 22 00:00:53,356 --> 00:00:56,023 that can use brain wave patterns to control robotic limbs, 23 00:00:56,025 --> 00:00:57,491 but we're having a little trouble localizing 24 00:00:57,493 --> 00:00:59,093 the signal from the EEG cap. 25 00:00:59,095 --> 00:01:01,863 Oh, well, have you thought about adding a phased array of sensors 26 00:01:01,865 --> 00:01:03,164 for better localization? 27 00:01:03,166 --> 00:01:05,800 Actually, that never occurred to me. 28 00:01:05,802 --> 00:01:07,034 It never occurred to me 29 00:01:07,036 --> 00:01:11,239 I would miss the Ewok conversation. 30 00:01:11,241 --> 00:01:14,242 Good, 'cause I just bought another one on Amazon. 31 00:01:15,712 --> 00:01:18,412 You know, I could use an engineer on this project. 32 00:01:18,414 --> 00:01:19,914 Well, now, this works out great. 33 00:01:19,916 --> 00:01:21,015 Howard's an engineer. 34 00:01:21,017 --> 00:01:23,951 I'm sure he knows someone qualified. 35 00:01:23,953 --> 00:01:26,254 She was talking about me, Sheldon. 36 00:01:26,256 --> 00:01:28,222 I'm perfectly qualified. 37 00:01:28,224 --> 00:01:29,857 Yeah, Howie's the world's best engineer. 38 00:01:29,859 --> 00:01:32,093 It says so right on his coffee mug. 39 00:01:33,196 --> 00:01:34,729 Aw, you got him a mug? 40 00:01:34,731 --> 00:01:36,831 I did. 41 00:01:36,833 --> 00:01:39,400 But it's not a competition. 42 00:01:39,402 --> 00:01:42,470 Yeah, I lost that battle years ago. 43 00:01:43,973 --> 00:01:45,239 So, Howard, are you interested? 44 00:01:45,241 --> 00:01:46,574 Are you kidding? 45 00:01:46,576 --> 00:01:48,743 If I could control robot arms with my brain, 46 00:01:48,745 --> 00:01:50,678 I'd be able to do so many things. 47 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:52,880 Really? Because you've been controlling human arms 48 00:01:52,882 --> 00:01:55,716 with your brain for years and not much has come of it. 49 00:01:56,953 --> 00:02:00,588 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 50 00:02:00,590 --> 00:02:03,925 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 51 00:02:03,927 --> 00:02:05,559 ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ 52 00:02:05,561 --> 00:02:08,095 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 53 00:02:08,097 --> 00:02:10,765 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ 54 00:02:10,767 --> 00:02:13,434 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 55 00:02:13,436 --> 00:02:15,336 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 56 00:02:15,338 --> 00:02:15,684 ♪ Bang! ♪ 57 00:02:15,685 --> 00:02:19,685 ♪ The Big Bang Theory 11x05 ♪ The Collaboration Contamination Original 58 00:02:19,686 --> 00:02:26,586 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 59 00:02:26,621 --> 00:02:28,154 Hey, what you reading? 60 00:02:28,156 --> 00:02:29,489 A parenting book. 61 00:02:29,491 --> 00:02:31,558 Oh, my God. Are-are we...? 62 00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:33,827 Wha... No! 63 00:02:33,829 --> 00:02:36,896 You think this is how I would tell you? 64 00:02:37,733 --> 00:02:38,732 Well... (stammers) 65 00:02:38,734 --> 00:02:40,166 You're sitting there with a book. 66 00:02:40,168 --> 00:02:43,269 It felt like anything was possible. 67 00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:47,107 Bernadette left it here. 68 00:02:47,109 --> 00:02:48,108 Yeah? 69 00:02:48,110 --> 00:02:49,976 Anything interesting? 70 00:02:49,978 --> 00:02:51,845 Well, I just saw a picture of a baby's head crowning, 71 00:02:51,847 --> 00:02:54,547 so I hope you enjoyed sex, because we're done with that. 72 00:02:56,184 --> 00:02:57,317 Hello. 73 00:02:57,319 --> 00:02:58,885 - Hi. - Hey, Sheldon, what's up? 74 00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:01,020 Well, remember how disappointed you were 75 00:03:01,022 --> 00:03:03,056 when Amy started driving me to work? 76 00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:05,859 Sure, uh... 77 00:03:05,861 --> 00:03:09,796 Sometimes people smile a big smile of disappointment. 78 00:03:09,798 --> 00:03:11,331 Yeah, well, good news, 79 00:03:11,333 --> 00:03:13,733 Amy had to go in early to show Howard around her lab, 80 00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:15,435 so you get to drive me. 81 00:03:15,437 --> 00:03:18,304 Aw, his smile of disappointment 82 00:03:18,306 --> 00:03:20,573 has turned into a frown of joy. 83 00:03:21,476 --> 00:03:23,510 It's fine, I've been driving him for years. 84 00:03:23,512 --> 00:03:24,744 What's one more day? 85 00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:26,246 Oh, and I've got a new car game we can play. 86 00:03:26,248 --> 00:03:27,814 It's called “what siren am I?” 87 00:03:27,816 --> 00:03:29,215 Kill me. 88 00:03:31,620 --> 00:03:34,020 Amy, your lab is amazing. 89 00:03:34,022 --> 00:03:35,955 A C-arm fluoroscope, 90 00:03:35,957 --> 00:03:38,658 a cranial ultrasound... 91 00:03:38,660 --> 00:03:39,626 (gasps) 92 00:03:39,628 --> 00:03:42,328 And look at that coffee maker. 93 00:03:42,330 --> 00:03:44,431 I know. 94 00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:46,299 On our expense report, 95 00:03:46,301 --> 00:03:49,969 I listed it as “Eduardo,” my Colombian lab assistant. 96 00:03:50,739 --> 00:03:53,907 So this is it? Yes. 97 00:03:53,909 --> 00:03:55,909 We are using it to map brain wave patterns 98 00:03:55,911 --> 00:03:57,644 and then converting them into electrical impulses 99 00:03:57,646 --> 00:03:59,078 that can be used to control anything 100 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:00,413 from wheelchairs to robots. 101 00:04:00,415 --> 00:04:01,848 Based on that ring on your finger, 102 00:04:01,850 --> 00:04:04,184 I'd say you're pretty good at controlling robots. 103 00:04:04,186 --> 00:04:07,253 Careful, that's my fiancé you're talking about, 104 00:04:07,255 --> 00:04:09,923 and I can program him to hurt you. 105 00:04:12,427 --> 00:04:15,195 (imitates melodic siren wailing) 106 00:04:21,336 --> 00:04:24,404 I don't know. Uh... French police? 107 00:04:24,406 --> 00:04:26,973 Oh. So close. 108 00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:28,541 Belgian ambulance. 109 00:04:30,111 --> 00:04:31,544 All right, you ready for your next one? 110 00:04:31,546 --> 00:04:33,313 Just a warning, this one's a little annoying. 111 00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:34,414 (imitates high-pitched siren) 112 00:04:34,416 --> 00:04:37,116 Let's take a little... little break, 113 00:04:37,118 --> 00:04:38,284 I'm getting a headache. 114 00:04:38,286 --> 00:04:42,589 Aw, right in the middle of our fun game. 115 00:04:42,591 --> 00:04:45,158 Yeah, weird. 116 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,259 So... 117 00:04:46,261 --> 00:04:48,261 Howard and Amy working together-- 118 00:04:48,263 --> 00:04:49,295 that's interesting, huh? 119 00:04:49,297 --> 00:04:51,531 Eh. It's all right, I suppose. 120 00:04:51,533 --> 00:04:54,267 Uh, when-- usually when Amy complains about her coworkers, 121 00:04:54,269 --> 00:04:55,435 I just tune her out, 122 00:04:55,437 --> 00:04:58,137 but now I'll be able to join in and pound away. 123 00:04:59,541 --> 00:05:01,541 You're not jealous of Howard, are you? 124 00:05:01,543 --> 00:05:03,309 Of course not. 125 00:05:03,311 --> 00:05:05,278 The only engineer I'm jealous of 126 00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:07,313 is the one who blows the train whistle. 127 00:05:07,315 --> 00:05:09,148 Ooh, that just gave me an idea for a new game, 128 00:05:09,150 --> 00:05:12,886 “what whistle am I?” Train. 129 00:05:14,422 --> 00:05:16,723 For your information, it was going to be tea kettle, 130 00:05:16,725 --> 00:05:18,758 but the tea kettle was on a train, 131 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:21,728 so I'll give it to you. 132 00:05:22,898 --> 00:05:25,832 If we add phase detection to your EEG sensors, 133 00:05:25,834 --> 00:05:27,367 I'll have to rewrite most of the code. 134 00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:29,068 Can you do that? Well, these hands 135 00:05:29,070 --> 00:05:30,637 were made to do three things: 136 00:05:30,639 --> 00:05:32,171 close-up magic, writing code, 137 00:05:32,173 --> 00:05:33,306 and the dirty shadow puppet show 138 00:05:33,308 --> 00:05:35,341 that got me kicked out of Hebrew school. 139 00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:38,745 Hello. 140 00:05:38,747 --> 00:05:41,314 Hi. What a nice surprise. 141 00:05:41,316 --> 00:05:43,716 Well, I just came by to see how you two were getting along. 142 00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,618 (laughs) Well, everything's going really great. 143 00:05:45,620 --> 00:05:47,787 Oh, that's nice to hear. 144 00:05:49,257 --> 00:05:52,025 I was hoping you two would enjoy working together. 145 00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:54,360 What's with the blinking? 146 00:05:54,362 --> 00:05:57,564 (quietly): It's Morse code. 147 00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,533 So we can talk about... 148 00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:05,772 ...without hurting... 's feelings. 149 00:06:07,342 --> 00:06:09,809 Sheldon, I don't know Morse code. 150 00:06:09,811 --> 00:06:11,578 I do. And if you have something to say, 151 00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:12,579 you can say it to my face. 152 00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:15,014 Oh. All right. 153 00:06:23,658 --> 00:06:27,594 I'm a little rusty. Could you say that again? 154 00:06:36,738 --> 00:06:41,007 She's going to be home at “eight-ish.” Like, when is that? 155 00:06:41,009 --> 00:06:42,208 8:01? 8:02? 156 00:06:42,210 --> 00:06:45,578 And what kind of scientist uses “-ish”? 157 00:06:45,580 --> 00:06:46,679 I'll give it a go. 158 00:06:46,681 --> 00:06:49,415 My ride home with you was hellish. 159 00:06:50,652 --> 00:06:52,986 Sheldon, honey, if you want to join us for dinner, 160 00:06:52,988 --> 00:06:54,253 you're more than welcome. 161 00:06:54,255 --> 00:06:55,421 No, thank you. I don't think 162 00:06:55,423 --> 00:06:57,090 I'd be very good company tonight. 163 00:06:57,092 --> 00:06:59,592 Well, then out you go. 164 00:07:00,829 --> 00:07:02,729 Okay, what is going on? 165 00:07:02,731 --> 00:07:04,263 Well, ever since Amy started working with Howard, 166 00:07:04,265 --> 00:07:05,498 she hasn't been home. 167 00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:08,267 Didn't that just start this morning? 168 00:07:08,269 --> 00:07:10,436 And has she been home? 169 00:07:11,439 --> 00:07:13,306 You know, that would frustrate me. 170 00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:15,975 Does it frustrate you? 171 00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:17,210 I-It does. 172 00:07:17,212 --> 00:07:18,311 I get that. 173 00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:20,613 You know, it's okay to feel frustrated 174 00:07:20,615 --> 00:07:22,215 when things aren't going your way. 175 00:07:22,217 --> 00:07:24,350 I suppose. 176 00:07:24,352 --> 00:07:26,119 Ah, maybe it's not that big a deal. 177 00:07:26,121 --> 00:07:27,854 PENNY: No, no, no, your feelings 178 00:07:27,856 --> 00:07:28,788 are valid. 179 00:07:28,790 --> 00:07:30,156 Now, why don't you go wash up, 180 00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:33,126 and we'll call you when dinner's ready. 181 00:07:36,598 --> 00:07:38,498 Okay. 182 00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:41,768 (door closes) 183 00:07:41,770 --> 00:07:43,970 What did you do-- Are you a witch? 184 00:07:43,972 --> 00:07:46,606 No, I've been reading Bernadette's parenting book. 185 00:07:46,608 --> 00:07:49,108 It's like the answer key to the Sheldon test. 186 00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:52,278 That's amazing. I know. 187 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:54,547 But, you know, it's only birth to five. 188 00:07:54,549 --> 00:07:56,916 What do we do when he turns six? 189 00:07:56,918 --> 00:08:00,386 Take him to the zoo and leave him there. 190 00:08:02,624 --> 00:08:04,590 Hey, Bernadette. 191 00:08:04,592 --> 00:08:05,725 Oh, hey, Raj. 192 00:08:05,727 --> 00:08:07,593 Howard's not here. Oh, I know, 193 00:08:07,595 --> 00:08:10,163 he's been in the lab every night this week with his work wife. 194 00:08:10,165 --> 00:08:11,964 That's weird, 195 00:08:11,966 --> 00:08:14,333 I thought his work wife was standing in my kitchen. 196 00:08:15,603 --> 00:08:16,536 Don't be snippy. 197 00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:18,438 I came to see how you were doing. 198 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:20,406 Like, uh, do you need help with anything? 199 00:08:20,408 --> 00:08:22,308 Oh, thank you. 200 00:08:22,310 --> 00:08:23,876 There are a few things around the house 201 00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:25,244 that I've been waiting for Howard to get to. 202 00:08:25,246 --> 00:08:26,279 The smoke alarms... 203 00:08:26,281 --> 00:08:28,414 No, I meant emotionally. 204 00:08:28,917 --> 00:08:30,850 How are you feeling? 205 00:08:30,852 --> 00:08:33,786 Like you're not really here to help me. 206 00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:37,356 Well, still snippy. 207 00:08:37,358 --> 00:08:39,425 Everything's fine. 208 00:08:39,427 --> 00:08:41,327 Howard's really excited about his work, 209 00:08:41,329 --> 00:08:43,830 he's been in a great mood... I'm really proud of him. 210 00:08:43,832 --> 00:08:47,033 And I can fit into the pants I wore in high school. 211 00:08:47,035 --> 00:08:49,602 Come on, we don't need to lie to each other. 212 00:08:49,604 --> 00:08:51,671 You're right. 213 00:08:51,673 --> 00:08:53,372 I have a teething baby, I'm pregnant, 214 00:08:53,374 --> 00:08:54,774 I have a proposal due tomorrow. 215 00:08:54,776 --> 00:08:55,875 I don't have time to hear about 216 00:08:55,877 --> 00:08:57,443 how much you're missing my husband. 217 00:08:57,445 --> 00:09:01,914 Well, I think I know why he's been working so late. 218 00:09:04,119 --> 00:09:05,752 Hi. 219 00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:07,053 Welcome home. 220 00:09:07,055 --> 00:09:08,221 How was work? 221 00:09:08,223 --> 00:09:10,490 Great. Howard had an idea for... 222 00:09:10,492 --> 00:09:12,291 That's enough about work. 223 00:09:13,194 --> 00:09:14,694 Aw, you just got here. 224 00:09:14,696 --> 00:09:16,763 You need to sit down and let me pamper you. 225 00:09:16,765 --> 00:09:19,732 (laughs): Oh. Well, that sounds nice. 226 00:09:19,734 --> 00:09:22,902 I got you a little something to help you relax. 227 00:09:22,904 --> 00:09:25,972 Sheldon, that is the sweetest, most... 228 00:09:27,976 --> 00:09:29,876 What... what is this? 229 00:09:29,878 --> 00:09:32,411 The notes from our quantum cognition project. 230 00:09:32,413 --> 00:09:33,613 I thought we could 231 00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:37,483 spend the evening grinding away on it. 232 00:09:37,485 --> 00:09:40,620 (sighs) I just got home, I'm tired. 233 00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:42,622 Of Howard, I know. 234 00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:43,956 So how about you and me 235 00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:47,193 make some beautiful science together? 236 00:09:48,930 --> 00:09:52,932 Sheldon, I want to work on this with you, just not tonight. 237 00:09:52,934 --> 00:09:55,635 What if we get up early and do it in the morning? I promise, 238 00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:58,738 I'll be way more into it. 239 00:09:58,740 --> 00:10:00,039 You know what? 240 00:10:00,041 --> 00:10:01,741 There was a time that you would've been happy 241 00:10:01,743 --> 00:10:04,076 to stay up and collaborate all night with me. 242 00:10:04,078 --> 00:10:07,647 And then wake up in the morning and do it some more. 243 00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:10,249 (sighs) Fine, but can we make it quick? 244 00:10:10,251 --> 00:10:11,717 No. 245 00:10:11,719 --> 00:10:13,886 If you're just gonna make me do all the work, then go to bed. 246 00:10:13,888 --> 00:10:15,755 But don't be surprised if you walk out here 247 00:10:15,757 --> 00:10:17,390 and catch me doing it myself. 248 00:10:28,426 --> 00:10:31,617 Ahh, Sheldon's texting me to drive him to Bernadette's. 249 00:10:31,618 --> 00:10:32,817 Well, what are you gonna say? 250 00:10:32,819 --> 00:10:34,852 Well, they did just introduce the middle finger emoji. 251 00:10:34,854 --> 00:10:37,288 If it's not for this, I don't know what it's for. 252 00:10:37,290 --> 00:10:39,390 No, no, no. He'll just think that means 253 00:10:39,392 --> 00:10:41,025 “Be there in a minute.” 254 00:10:41,027 --> 00:10:42,360 Uh... 255 00:10:42,362 --> 00:10:44,729 Maybe there's something in the book that will help. 256 00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:46,130 Worth a shot. 257 00:10:46,132 --> 00:10:48,466 Okay. Let's see, let's see. 258 00:10:48,468 --> 00:10:50,768 “Biting other children”? 259 00:10:50,770 --> 00:10:54,172 Well, sometimes, but... problem for another day. 260 00:10:54,703 --> 00:10:56,035 Okay, wait, wait. Here we go. 261 00:10:56,037 --> 00:10:57,770 “Let him have ownership of his choices. 262 00:10:57,772 --> 00:11:01,040 Allow him to choose from options that are acceptable to you.” 263 00:11:01,042 --> 00:11:03,243 All right, I'll give it a try. 264 00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:07,847 “I can drive you in two hours or you can take an Uber”" 265 00:11:07,849 --> 00:11:10,216 Good. See, now he feels like he has a choice. 266 00:11:10,218 --> 00:11:11,985 Huh. (phone chimes) 267 00:11:11,987 --> 00:11:15,088 He's gonna take an Uber. 268 00:11:15,090 --> 00:11:18,358 Wow, it worked. 269 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:22,262 Unless he bites the driver, yeah. 270 00:11:23,431 --> 00:11:25,798 And now they're working on a Saturday? 271 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:27,100 Can you believe them? 272 00:11:27,102 --> 00:11:29,102 Like, is this how you envisioned your weekend? 273 00:11:29,104 --> 00:11:32,205 No, it is not. 274 00:11:32,207 --> 00:11:34,274 This whole thing is maddening. 275 00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:35,942 I'm really busy. 276 00:11:35,944 --> 00:11:38,278 I don't have time to listen to you complain. 277 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,547 Hey. You're complaining, too. 278 00:11:40,549 --> 00:11:42,015 “Sheldon, why are you here?” 279 00:11:42,017 --> 00:11:46,252 “Sheldon, the applesauce is for the baby.” 280 00:11:46,254 --> 00:11:47,654 What do you want? 281 00:11:47,656 --> 00:11:51,324 I just wish I could make Howard feel as angry as I'm feeling. 282 00:11:52,727 --> 00:11:55,662 Well, maybe you could do something he likes 283 00:11:55,664 --> 00:11:57,196 and make him jealous. 284 00:11:57,198 --> 00:11:58,831 Like what? 285 00:11:58,833 --> 00:12:00,633 Have you ever read Tom Sawyer? 286 00:12:00,635 --> 00:12:01,734 No. 287 00:12:01,736 --> 00:12:04,037 Chores. He likes chores. 288 00:12:05,407 --> 00:12:07,707 Ooh. What kind of chores? 289 00:12:07,709 --> 00:12:08,975 Well, 290 00:12:08,977 --> 00:12:12,011 you could change the batteries in the smoke detectors. 291 00:12:12,013 --> 00:12:14,714 That would drive him crazy. 292 00:12:14,716 --> 00:12:16,549 That's great. 293 00:12:16,551 --> 00:12:19,352 Oh, he'll be so mad smoke will be coming out of his ears. 294 00:12:19,354 --> 00:12:22,622 And then the smoke detectors will detect it. 295 00:12:23,358 --> 00:12:24,457 Wait, wait, now, hold on. 296 00:12:24,459 --> 00:12:26,392 Why'd you ask me about Tom Sawyer? 297 00:12:26,394 --> 00:12:28,895 I'm just interested in you. 298 00:12:28,897 --> 00:12:33,132 Well, you are sweeter than your applesauce. 299 00:12:35,904 --> 00:12:37,637 Okay, I'm gonna extend the wait time and have it poll 300 00:12:37,639 --> 00:12:39,305 the A-to-D converter at the top of the loop 301 00:12:39,307 --> 00:12:40,406 instead of the bottom. 302 00:12:40,408 --> 00:12:41,774 Oh. That's impressive. 303 00:12:41,776 --> 00:12:44,877 You think that's impressive, take apart that brain model. 304 00:12:47,248 --> 00:12:48,348 (gasps) 305 00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:49,649 Oh my God-- three of clubs. 306 00:12:49,651 --> 00:12:51,250 That was my card! 307 00:12:51,252 --> 00:12:52,819 How did you...? 308 00:12:53,955 --> 00:12:55,622 I used to make it appear in my pants, 309 00:12:55,624 --> 00:12:58,524 but HR said I had to stop doing that. 310 00:13:00,528 --> 00:13:02,695 So, how much longer till we can test it? 311 00:13:02,697 --> 00:13:05,832 Well, it needs to compile, so it's gonna be a few minutes. 312 00:13:05,834 --> 00:13:08,735 Sounds like we've earned ourselves a break. 313 00:13:08,737 --> 00:13:10,937 You want to hear some Neil Sedaka? 314 00:13:10,939 --> 00:13:13,673 You know, that's your greatest magic trick, 315 00:13:13,675 --> 00:13:15,908 'cause you just read my mind. 316 00:13:17,345 --> 00:13:21,314 ♪ I love, I love, I love my calendar girl ♪ 317 00:13:21,316 --> 00:13:25,284 ♪ Yeah, sweet calendar girl ♪ 318 00:13:25,286 --> 00:13:29,122 ♪ I love, I love, I love my calendar girl ♪ 319 00:13:29,124 --> 00:13:31,457 ♪ Each and every day of the year ♪ 320 00:13:31,459 --> 00:13:33,960 ♪ January ♪ 321 00:13:33,962 --> 00:13:37,630 ♪ You start the year all fine... ♪ Well, well, well. 322 00:13:38,700 --> 00:13:40,099 - Hi. - Hey. 323 00:13:40,101 --> 00:13:43,469 You say you're busy as bees, yet here you are, dancing. 324 00:13:43,471 --> 00:13:45,772 Although I suppose bees do dance, 325 00:13:45,774 --> 00:13:48,207 but their dance lets other bees know where the pollen is, 326 00:13:48,209 --> 00:13:49,509 and yours does not. 327 00:13:49,511 --> 00:13:53,980 So my logic, despite that slight detour, does track. 328 00:13:54,883 --> 00:13:57,417 We're just waiting for my code to compile. 329 00:13:57,419 --> 00:13:58,985 What are you doing here? I stopped by 330 00:13:58,987 --> 00:14:01,220 to see if you wanted to go to the movies with me. 331 00:14:01,222 --> 00:14:02,822 Well, I-I'd love to, 332 00:14:02,824 --> 00:14:05,358 but we're just about to test the interface. 333 00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:06,426 It could take a while. 334 00:14:06,428 --> 00:14:08,695 Okay, buddy, it-- it's not my place, 335 00:14:08,697 --> 00:14:11,898 but Bernadette's been feeling a little abandoned 336 00:14:11,900 --> 00:14:13,866 with all the hours that you've been putting in. 337 00:14:13,868 --> 00:14:16,169 You just asked him to go to the movies. 338 00:14:16,171 --> 00:14:17,770 Yeah, but our weird relationship was grandfathered 339 00:14:17,772 --> 00:14:21,107 into their marriage, and yours was not. 340 00:14:23,178 --> 00:14:26,979 Okay, I put new batteries in the smoke detectors. 341 00:14:26,981 --> 00:14:28,514 Did you do the laundry? 342 00:14:28,516 --> 00:14:29,982 I sure did. Ooh. 343 00:14:29,984 --> 00:14:32,485 He's gonna be steamed. 344 00:14:32,487 --> 00:14:34,754 Just like his dress shirts. 345 00:14:35,690 --> 00:14:37,590 At least he can still clean the oven, 346 00:14:37,592 --> 00:14:38,825 so that's something. 347 00:14:38,827 --> 00:14:40,626 Oh, that's what he thinks. Where's your steel wool? 348 00:14:40,628 --> 00:14:42,729 Right here. 349 00:14:42,731 --> 00:14:45,031 We make quite the team. 350 00:14:45,033 --> 00:14:47,200 Sure do. 351 00:14:48,069 --> 00:14:49,969 Guys, you won't believe this. 352 00:14:49,971 --> 00:14:52,939 I stopped by the university to check in on Howard and Amy, 353 00:14:52,941 --> 00:14:54,373 and they were having fun. 354 00:14:54,375 --> 00:14:56,142 Well, don't worry. He won't be having any fun 355 00:14:56,144 --> 00:14:57,310 when he gets home. 356 00:14:57,312 --> 00:14:59,112 I did all his favorite chores. 357 00:15:00,181 --> 00:15:01,514 What are you talking about? 358 00:15:01,516 --> 00:15:03,483 Howard hates doing chores. 359 00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:05,651 Wait, then why would Bernadette tell me that... (gasps) 360 00:15:05,653 --> 00:15:07,854 Bernadette. 361 00:15:09,758 --> 00:15:11,791 Did you play on my well established gullibility 362 00:15:11,793 --> 00:15:13,226 to clean your house? 363 00:15:13,228 --> 00:15:15,862 Sure did. 364 00:15:15,864 --> 00:15:18,564 Well, I would storm out of here, 365 00:15:18,566 --> 00:15:20,733 but I already have the gloves and the steel wool, 366 00:15:20,735 --> 00:15:24,070 and I really do love cleaning an oven. Move. 367 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:27,140 She made me do all her chores, 368 00:15:27,142 --> 00:15:29,008 and it wasn't even her idea-- she stole it 369 00:15:29,010 --> 00:15:31,577 from Tom Sawyer. 370 00:15:31,579 --> 00:15:33,212 You know what? This is crazy. 371 00:15:33,214 --> 00:15:35,882 Howard and Amy are working together-- get over it. 372 00:15:35,884 --> 00:15:36,916 Leonard, what are you doing? 373 00:15:36,918 --> 00:15:38,084 “Knowing when to say when.” 374 00:15:38,086 --> 00:15:39,418 This is not a big deal. 375 00:15:39,420 --> 00:15:40,853 It is a big deal. 376 00:15:40,855 --> 00:15:43,823 Howard's getting Amy used to laughing and listening to music. 377 00:15:43,825 --> 00:15:46,592 What if she expects that madness at home? 378 00:15:46,594 --> 00:15:48,327 Yeah, that is a good point. I'm really proud of the way 379 00:15:48,329 --> 00:15:49,796 you're able to express your feelings. 380 00:15:49,798 --> 00:15:50,930 SHELDON: Thank you. 381 00:15:50,932 --> 00:15:52,131 I'm just so angry. 382 00:15:52,133 --> 00:15:53,199 You know, 383 00:15:53,201 --> 00:15:54,534 everyone gets angry. 384 00:15:54,536 --> 00:15:58,237 Even mommies and daddies. 385 00:15:59,641 --> 00:16:01,174 You can't think this is the right time 386 00:16:01,176 --> 00:16:02,875 to “validate his behavior.” 387 00:16:02,877 --> 00:16:05,278 Okay, what about “presenting a united front”? 388 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,246 What about you coddling him and he's never gonna learn? 389 00:16:07,248 --> 00:16:08,548 Look. 390 00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:12,151 You sound frustrated, and I'm really proud of the way 391 00:16:12,153 --> 00:16:15,221 you're able to state your opinion. 392 00:16:15,223 --> 00:16:16,956 Thank you. 393 00:16:16,958 --> 00:16:18,624 Wait, no, no. 394 00:16:19,627 --> 00:16:21,394 Don't use that book on me. 395 00:16:21,396 --> 00:16:22,495 SHELDON: W-Wait, 396 00:16:22,497 --> 00:16:23,496 what book? 397 00:16:23,498 --> 00:16:24,664 (groans) Penny's been using 398 00:16:24,666 --> 00:16:26,666 one of Bernadette's parenting books on you. 399 00:16:26,668 --> 00:16:28,367 What? So has he. 400 00:16:28,369 --> 00:16:31,537 Wh-What makes you think you can treat me like a child? 401 00:16:34,576 --> 00:16:38,611 Your shampoo comes in a Big Bird bottle. 402 00:16:38,613 --> 00:16:41,147 That's because the adult shampoo burns my man eyes. 403 00:16:45,186 --> 00:16:47,320 Hey, what are you working on? 404 00:16:47,322 --> 00:16:49,655 Oh, my God, you're still here? 405 00:16:51,860 --> 00:16:52,925 Well, of course I'm here. 406 00:16:52,927 --> 00:16:55,127 I know what you're going through. 407 00:16:55,129 --> 00:16:58,965 Really? You have a needy Indian man in your house? 408 00:16:59,968 --> 00:17:02,235 I did, but then he came over here. 409 00:17:04,105 --> 00:17:06,138 So is this how it's gonna be if we have kids? 410 00:17:06,140 --> 00:17:07,773 You're just gonna throw me under the bus? 411 00:17:07,775 --> 00:17:10,042 If you spoil them the way you do Sheldon, then, yeah. 412 00:17:10,044 --> 00:17:11,344 Uh, my way was working. 413 00:17:11,346 --> 00:17:12,578 Okay? I think you're just upset 414 00:17:12,580 --> 00:17:14,914 because there are some things I am better than you at. 415 00:17:14,916 --> 00:17:16,616 Well, you can't end a sentence with a preposition, 416 00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:18,084 so clearly, not grammar. 417 00:17:19,354 --> 00:17:21,621 If you're so smart, was that a smart thing to say? 418 00:17:21,623 --> 00:17:22,755 That depends. Before I said it, 419 00:17:22,757 --> 00:17:24,223 was sex tonight still on the table? 420 00:17:24,225 --> 00:17:25,925 No. Then it's fine. 421 00:17:28,096 --> 00:17:30,563 You know, once we get this operational, 422 00:17:30,565 --> 00:17:33,165 we could probably figure out how to make it wireless. 423 00:17:33,167 --> 00:17:35,167 That'd be amazing. 424 00:17:35,169 --> 00:17:36,369 (phone chimes) 425 00:17:36,371 --> 00:17:38,671 Oh, that's Sheldon. 426 00:17:38,673 --> 00:17:40,773 Oh, he's upset with Leonard and Penny. 427 00:17:40,775 --> 00:17:42,308 (phone whooshes) 428 00:17:42,310 --> 00:17:43,676 And Bernadette. 429 00:17:43,678 --> 00:17:45,144 (phone whooshes) 430 00:17:45,146 --> 00:17:46,512 And Mark Twain. 431 00:17:49,684 --> 00:17:51,517 Yeah, Bernadette texted earlier. 432 00:17:51,519 --> 00:17:53,819 Raj is really getting on her nerves. 433 00:17:53,821 --> 00:17:55,855 Well, I guess we have been working late a lot. 434 00:17:55,857 --> 00:17:56,956 (sighs) 435 00:17:56,958 --> 00:17:58,791 Should we call it a night and go home? 436 00:17:58,793 --> 00:18:01,894 Or we could brew a pot of coffee and power through. 437 00:18:01,896 --> 00:18:04,563 I don't know, it's getting kind of late. 438 00:18:04,565 --> 00:18:06,732 Hey, where's my watch? 439 00:18:06,734 --> 00:18:07,867 Why don't you ask 440 00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:09,502 your skeleton? 441 00:18:11,906 --> 00:18:13,839 (Amy gasps) 442 00:18:13,841 --> 00:18:15,675 Oh, my God. 443 00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:18,044 How is that even possible?! 444 00:18:26,483 --> 00:18:28,992 This is great, the two of us hanging out. 445 00:18:28,994 --> 00:18:30,327 Why didn't we think of this earlier? 446 00:18:30,329 --> 00:18:31,428 Agreed. 447 00:18:31,430 --> 00:18:33,230 I don't need Amy to watch a movie. 448 00:18:33,232 --> 00:18:36,032 I can not hold your hand just as easily. 449 00:18:36,034 --> 00:18:38,235 (music begins playing over TV) 450 00:18:40,772 --> 00:18:45,475 In the book this is based on, that man's the killer. 451 00:18:49,188 --> 00:18:56,088 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man