00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.COM 1 00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:16,884 [screaming] 2 00:00:17,085 --> 00:00:18,219 I got a plan for Baal. 3 00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:20,288 I'm going to find him, take my chainsaw, 4 00:00:20,388 --> 00:00:21,722 shove it right up his ass. 5 00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:22,823 - [screaming] - PABLO: The book, 6 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,192 it did something to me. 7 00:00:24,292 --> 00:00:26,594 It feels like something inside of me that's trying to come out. 8 00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:28,696 Pablo, you're our only hope of stopping Baal. 9 00:00:28,796 --> 00:00:30,064 Hey, quit fucking around. 10 00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:32,633 Find the spell we need to send this asshole home. 11 00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:34,413 - [chanting in Sumerian] - [Baal shrieking] 12 00:00:38,106 --> 00:00:40,040 [continues chanting in Sumerian] 13 00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:43,311 - [roaring] - [all yelling] 14 00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:46,214 [shrieking] 15 00:00:46,314 --> 00:00:48,382 - [all gasping] - [Ash laughing] 16 00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:50,984 - You slayed that shit. - ASH: You did it, Pablo! 17 00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:53,053 - [slicing] - [gasps] 18 00:00:54,822 --> 00:00:56,557 ♪♪ 19 00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:58,559 - [pop ballad plays on radio] - [tires screeching] 20 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,165 - [smashing] - [cat meowing] 21 00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:06,600 ♪ Oh, I just died in your arms... ♪ 22 00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:08,136 [with slurred speech] Oh, yeah. 23 00:01:08,169 --> 00:01:09,970 Oh, I know what you're all saying. 24 00:01:10,138 --> 00:01:13,141 Ash Williams, saved everybody. 25 00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:16,210 Yep, probably going to have a statue made, 26 00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:18,179 and a parade in my honor. 27 00:01:20,548 --> 00:01:22,316 You know what? 28 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:24,652 [crying] I'd give it all up, 29 00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:27,421 just to have my little Mexican buddy back. 30 00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:32,693 Oh, my, my Honduran-Mexican buddy back. 31 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:34,495 Here's to you. Oh, yeah. 32 00:01:36,164 --> 00:01:37,831 - [Ash gulping] - [ballad continues] 33 00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:43,771 [bottle clattering] 34 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:46,674 [Ash belching] 35 00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:49,310 Nothing helps, does it? 36 00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:53,080 Of course, you don't answer. Whoops. 37 00:01:53,181 --> 00:01:55,183 [chuckles] Because you're dead! 38 00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:59,019 - [tires screeching] - [man vocalizing] 39 00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:01,522 ♪ I just died in your arms tonight... ♪ 40 00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:05,293 This is bullshit. 41 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,882 - Pablo didn't have to die. - [can opening] 42 00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:12,400 - I should've saved him. - You couldn't have. 43 00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,303 It was the only way. 44 00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:18,239 Everybody dies. 45 00:02:18,339 --> 00:02:20,208 Yeah, easy for you to say. 46 00:02:20,308 --> 00:02:23,477 Pablo's entire lifespan measured about a second, 47 00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:26,514 - compared to yours. - Didn't he make that second count? 48 00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:31,919 In defeating Baal, he achieved more than I did in thousands of years. 49 00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:35,756 - [tires screeching] - [ballad continues] 50 00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:40,228 Oh man, you can really taste the angel dust. 51 00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:41,895 [exhaling] 52 00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:44,665 Ah, but no matter how baked I get, 53 00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:46,834 you're still gone, buddy. 54 00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:50,738 Man, I wish I could just go back in time, and undo all this. 55 00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,873 PABLO: So just do it. 56 00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:54,575 [suspenseful music playing] 57 00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:57,311 - Hey. - Hey. 58 00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:59,713 "Do it?" Do what? 59 00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:01,023 If you could go back in time, 60 00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:02,958 and change one moment in your life, 61 00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:04,051 what would it be? 62 00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:05,619 Oh, no brainer. 63 00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:08,389 The moment I picked up the stupid book at the cabin. 64 00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:09,623 So just change it. 65 00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:12,025 Make sure you never, ever pick up that book. 66 00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:13,594 Like ever. 67 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,429 [laughing] 68 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:16,864 That's a good one. 69 00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:19,732 How? 70 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,470 Do exactly what you said. 71 00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:25,773 Go back in time, and undo all this. 72 00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,675 Of course! I've done it before. 73 00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:29,209 - I went to the Middle Ages. - [echoing] Yeah. 74 00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:31,845 And I can go back in time, change history, 75 00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:34,482 fix all this, and you'll be alive again, Pablo. 76 00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:46,627 - [tires screeching] - [horn honking] 77 00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:48,929 Get in the car! 78 00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:55,002 Okay, I need you to read this, right now. 79 00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:57,605 Absolutely not. 80 00:03:57,705 --> 00:03:58,972 - Too risky. - Read it. 81 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:02,410 Ash, even if it works, we could damage so much more than we can fix. 82 00:04:02,476 --> 00:04:03,911 Hey guys, can you stop speaking in code, 83 00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:05,679 and tell me what the fuck you're talking about? 84 00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:08,782 I'll do you one better. I'll show you. 85 00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:10,784 - [engine revving] - [tires screeching] 86 00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:15,823 [suspenseful music playing] 87 00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:17,257 Ash, you're upset. 88 00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:19,226 You should not be behind the wheel of a car. 89 00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:20,694 Yes, I'm upset. 90 00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:22,430 ASH: Yes, I'm behind the wheel. 91 00:04:22,530 --> 00:04:23,664 Yes, I'm drunk. 92 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,900 And maybe my license isn't the fancy kind from the DMV. 93 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,536 But at least I'm drunk! 94 00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:30,438 Now you better read that spell right now, 95 00:04:30,538 --> 00:04:32,840 or we're all going to meet Pablo! 96 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:35,576 [tires screeching] 97 00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:37,578 - [Kelly groans] - [engine revving] 98 00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:39,447 Ash, stop the fucking car! 99 00:04:41,582 --> 00:04:44,718 Just do what he says! He's thinking even less than usual! 100 00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:48,522 [Ruby chanting in Sumerian] 101 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,724 She's doing it! Stop the fucking car! 102 00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:51,859 She's reading it! 103 00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:53,527 Not until she's done! 104 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,463 - [Ruby continues chanting] - [Kelly grunting] 105 00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:59,620 Linda, I'm going to fix everything, and come back for you! 106 00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:02,069 [engine revving] 107 00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:06,674 Hey, if Linda didn't hear that, could someone please tell her?! 108 00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:09,643 - [suspenseful music playing] - [engine revs] 109 00:05:11,579 --> 00:05:13,547 [Ruby chanting, yelling in Sumerian] 110 00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:17,485 [both yelling] 111 00:05:20,461 --> 00:05:22,242 [suspenseful music playing] 112 00:05:22,267 --> 00:05:25,773 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.MY-SUBS.com 113 00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:28,161 - [Ruby yelling in Sumerian] - [Kelly screaming] 114 00:05:28,261 --> 00:05:30,097 - [tires screeching] - [all panting] 115 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,568 [Ash chuckling] 116 00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:42,009 - [rock music playing] - [indistinct chatter] 117 00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:47,515 Car wash! 118 00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:51,619 What the actual fuck? 119 00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:52,719 Welcome to the 80s, kid. 120 00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:54,024 We're in the 80s? 121 00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:55,889 - [indistinct chatter] - KELLY: As in the 1980s? 122 00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:57,958 1982. Come on, Kelly. Keep up. 123 00:05:58,058 --> 00:05:59,527 But... how? 124 00:05:59,627 --> 00:06:01,394 There are infinite timelines, 125 00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:03,163 and always a primary "present" you, 126 00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:04,832 which remains constant, but the Necronomicon... 127 00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:06,534 - Boring. - I'd like the explanation. 128 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,537 Okay look, if young me never reads from that book, 129 00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:10,838 then evil will not plague my life, 130 00:06:10,938 --> 00:06:12,205 and Pablo will be alive again. 131 00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:13,874 That's all you have to understand. 132 00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:14,974 - He's right. - Course I am. 133 00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:16,042 Wait a minute. 134 00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:17,110 My dad's around here. 135 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:18,612 I got to see the old bird. 136 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:19,947 Don't you dare. 137 00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:22,783 That kind of interaction could cause profound causality paradoxes. 138 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:23,883 Think about it. 139 00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:26,253 I know the sports scores for 30 years. 140 00:06:26,554 --> 00:06:27,555 - No. - Jeez. 141 00:06:27,621 --> 00:06:30,758 Okay, so, now that we've time travelled, 142 00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:33,694 we just go back to the cabin to snatch the book 143 00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:35,462 before young Ash can read from it. 144 00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:37,164 And that's all we do. Got it? 145 00:06:37,264 --> 00:06:39,704 I'm just saying this is the year the Lions got in the playoffs 146 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:40,733 with a losing record. 147 00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:42,369 We can make some serious scratch. 148 00:06:42,570 --> 00:06:43,570 BOTH: No. 149 00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:44,705 ASH: [grumbling] Wow. 150 00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:46,039 Wh-where, where... 151 00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:47,575 - Oh. - How-how... 152 00:06:47,675 --> 00:06:49,943 [chuckling] Don't worry about it, pal. Here you go. 153 00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:51,679 That'll help you forget that you just saw a car 154 00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:53,499 drive through a time portal from the future. 155 00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:54,582 No, no, I can't drink. 156 00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:57,084 - My family has a history... - ASH: Come on. One little nip. 157 00:06:57,184 --> 00:06:58,886 Your life will be exactly the same. 158 00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:01,088 Come on. Let's change history. 159 00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:02,222 Ha! 160 00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:05,926 [eerie music playing] 161 00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:10,698 ♪ Don't stop believin'... ♪ 162 00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:11,699 Come on. Come on. 163 00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:13,701 Out of the way, Safety Boy! 164 00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:15,603 - [horn honking] - Whoa! 165 00:07:15,703 --> 00:07:16,937 - Hey! - ♪ Streetlights ♪ 166 00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:19,206 - [Ash laughing] - ♪ People ♪ 167 00:07:21,609 --> 00:07:23,611 [gulps] 168 00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:27,981 ♪ Don't stop believin'... ♪ 169 00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:31,418 ♪ Hold on ♪ 170 00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:33,386 ♪ Streetlights ♪ 171 00:07:33,621 --> 00:07:35,723 ♪ People ♪ 172 00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:41,028 ♪ Don't stop ♪ 173 00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:43,731 [squishing] 174 00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:45,799 [Ash grunts] 175 00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:48,936 Now don't you worry, my little burrito. 176 00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:50,838 You'll be safe in this trunk while we change history, 177 00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:52,172 and bring you back to life. 178 00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:54,274 Kelly, got the letter I wrote? 179 00:07:58,111 --> 00:07:59,647 "Don't panic. It's 1982. 180 00:07:59,713 --> 00:08:00,748 "We're in the cabin. 181 00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:01,915 "If your..." 182 00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:05,653 no apostrophe... "reading this, you're not dead. 183 00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:08,021 "P.S., you were dead." 184 00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:09,256 Perfect. 185 00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:12,926 - All right. - Dude, how are you smiling? 186 00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:15,495 - Pablo's dead. - Because this is temporary. 187 00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:17,965 Because I came up with a sweet plan to get him back? 188 00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:20,300 As sweet as your plan that got him killed in the first place? 189 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:21,501 Hey, that plan worked. 190 00:08:21,669 --> 00:08:23,503 - [gun cocking] - We defeated Baal. 191 00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:24,751 And this plan's going to... 192 00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:27,675 [rumbling] 193 00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:29,710 - [suspenseful music playing] - [growling] 194 00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:32,379 [speaking softly] No. 195 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,148 No. 196 00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:37,718 I haven't been to the cabin yet. 197 00:08:37,818 --> 00:08:39,419 - [rustling] - I haven't read from the book. 198 00:08:39,687 --> 00:08:41,254 This can't be happening. 199 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,690 Apparently it can. 200 00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:45,225 [rustling grows louder] 201 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,295 Run! 202 00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:50,297 [Ash and Kelly grunting] 203 00:08:51,699 --> 00:08:53,366 [loud growling] 204 00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:58,038 - [suspenseful music playing] - [grunting continues] 205 00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:01,709 [yelling] 206 00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:03,777 [groaning] 207 00:09:08,716 --> 00:09:10,784 [loud growling] 208 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,720 - [grunts] - [snarling] 209 00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:18,358 [groaning, panting] 210 00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:24,331 - [loud shrieking] - [banging] 211 00:09:25,733 --> 00:09:27,735 - [wind howling] - [low growling] 212 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,942 [shrieking] 213 00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:43,450 [chair creaking] 214 00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:47,087 [wind howling outside] 215 00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:54,227 [faint creaking] 216 00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:03,837 [sighing, laughing] 217 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:04,937 Still got it. 218 00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:06,239 - [splintering] - [yelling] 219 00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:09,709 Oh, hell. 220 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,880 [groaning] 221 00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:17,017 [heavy breathing] 222 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,286 My evil mistress in the woods. 223 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:22,790 This is going to be our last tango. 224 00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:24,091 And this time, 225 00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:27,094 you're going to follow my lead, biotch. 226 00:10:28,896 --> 00:10:30,397 Okay, book, book, book. 227 00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:31,865 Who's got the... 228 00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:37,938 Wait a minute. 229 00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:40,207 I thought it was here. 230 00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,209 [faint growling] 231 00:10:43,743 --> 00:10:46,413 Or did I find it in the cellar? 232 00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:47,881 With Scott...? [gasping] 233 00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:51,251 [laughing] Oh! 234 00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:52,886 Oh, you. 235 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:53,986 [exhales deeply] 236 00:10:54,054 --> 00:10:56,656 Okay, Ash. It's just a stupid nail. 237 00:10:56,890 --> 00:10:58,191 Stay focused. 238 00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:02,930 I'm checking you last. 239 00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:06,834 KELLY: Ash! 240 00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:09,436 [eerie music playing] 241 00:11:09,536 --> 00:11:10,971 I swear, he's like a superhero, 242 00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:13,340 whose special power is "ruining everything." 243 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:14,942 As much as it pains me to say it, 244 00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:18,011 he's proven himself to be inexplicably "effective." 245 00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:20,547 I'm guessing that English is your second or third language 246 00:11:20,647 --> 00:11:24,051 next to Sumerian, or she-devil or whatever... 247 00:11:24,151 --> 00:11:26,719 but that's not effectiveness. 248 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:27,955 It's called dumb luck. 249 00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:29,923 - [rustling] - [suspenseful music playing] 250 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,959 [groaning] 251 00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:38,631 [crackling, growling] 252 00:11:38,899 --> 00:11:40,033 Oh. 253 00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:41,434 Oh. 254 00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:45,205 [grunting, panting] 255 00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:54,114 - [ding] - [buzzing] 256 00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:02,022 [groans] 257 00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:03,891 There's got to be a better way. 258 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:08,962 Yeah. 259 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,964 Kind of like an evil snake bite. 260 00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:14,601 - [yelling] - [cracking] 261 00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:19,472 Oh. [exhales] 262 00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:23,410 [slurping, gagging] 263 00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:26,179 Too salty. 264 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:30,317 [grunting, slurping continues] 265 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:33,086 [high-pitched grunting, stomach growling] 266 00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:36,023 - [retching] - [grunting continues] 267 00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:38,091 - [high-pitched yelling] - [stomach growling] 268 00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:41,528 [gasping] 269 00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:45,265 - [retching] - [grunting continues] 270 00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:49,036 - [laughing] - [stomach growling] 271 00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:51,304 - [high-pitched laughing] - [grunting] 272 00:12:51,404 --> 00:12:52,572 Get out! 273 00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:54,441 [grunting] Ooh! 274 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,046 [yelling, grunting] 275 00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:04,617 [yelling] 276 00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:07,287 - [high-pitched laughing] - Oh. 277 00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:11,490 [grunting] 278 00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:14,061 Time to spice up your life, huh?! 279 00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:16,229 - [high-pitched grunting] - [sneezing] 280 00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:20,300 - [grunting] - You like it hot?! 281 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,669 You like it hot?! 282 00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:24,409 - [high-pitched groaning] - [kettle whistling] 283 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,707 - [shrieking] - [high-pitched shrieking] 284 00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:28,976 Ow! 285 00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:32,012 Soup's on! 286 00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:34,047 [grunting, screaming] 287 00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:37,450 [high-pitched screaming, stomach growling] 288 00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:42,355 [grunting] 289 00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:46,426 - [gasping] - [Deformed Demon screaming] 290 00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:48,461 - [screaming] - Whoa! 291 00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:51,098 Fuck you, Ash! Fuck you! 292 00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:53,066 Fuck you, motherfucker! 293 00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,202 - [Demon laughing maniacally] - Hey, little guy. 294 00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:56,342 How do you like your eggs? 295 00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:59,206 - Scrambled?! - [yelling] 296 00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:01,008 Yeah. 297 00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:02,732 - [pan clattering] - All right. 298 00:14:02,803 --> 00:14:05,212 Who's next?! Who's next?! 299 00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:09,209 VOICE: [muffled] Hello? 300 00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:11,651 Is somebody out there? 301 00:14:12,439 --> 00:14:15,288 - [eerie music playing] - Please! Help me! 302 00:14:16,853 --> 00:14:18,120 Please! 303 00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:19,626 I'm trapped! 304 00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:23,463 [heavy breathing] 305 00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:27,753 - [rock music playing] - [chainsaw rumbling] 306 00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:31,939 [slurping] 307 00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:36,276 [door creaking] 308 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,278 [low growling] 309 00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:44,384 Incredible. 310 00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:45,953 We didn't even make it to the cabin 311 00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:49,389 before Ash's brilliant plan freaked the toaster. 312 00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:50,849 You know once we destroy the book, 313 00:14:50,958 --> 00:14:52,092 you don't have to follow him anymore. 314 00:14:52,192 --> 00:14:54,161 You can forge your own path. 315 00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:56,196 Who says I'm not already forging? 316 00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:58,465 I make my own choices, okay? 317 00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:00,642 I could forge the shit out of my path, 318 00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:02,344 - if I wanted to. - I don't doubt it. 319 00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:03,689 - [twig snapping] - [Kelly grunts] 320 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:06,974 Whoever's following us, come out now, 321 00:15:07,975 --> 00:15:09,442 or I start spraying! 322 00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:12,980 Let's keep going, huh? 323 00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:18,986 - [eerie music playing] - [stairs creaking] 324 00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:30,697 [door creaking, slamming] 325 00:15:30,998 --> 00:15:32,065 [gasping] 326 00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:39,339 [rattling] 327 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,341 [metal clanging] 328 00:16:00,027 --> 00:16:02,029 [door creaking] 329 00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:11,271 - [chain clinking] - [woman sobbing] 330 00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:13,606 Who's there? 331 00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:18,245 Please. Help. 332 00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:19,446 Who is that? 333 00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:21,548 He's chained me up, and he won't let me go. 334 00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:24,151 Who chained you up? 335 00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:25,885 I said who chained you up? 336 00:16:26,053 --> 00:16:29,089 My husband. He's going to kill me. 337 00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:33,360 [creaking] 338 00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:34,794 Oh, Jesus! 339 00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:36,063 Henrietta. 340 00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:38,465 - [gasping] - [clinking] 341 00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:39,766 How do I know you? 342 00:16:40,067 --> 00:16:41,534 We've met before. 343 00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:43,436 Uh actually, not yet. Not for you, anyway. 344 00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:45,072 Please let me go. 345 00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:47,340 My husband, he's found some... 346 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:48,441 Book of the Dead, 347 00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:50,143 and... I don't know, it's... 348 00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:52,312 - changed him somehow. - Where's the book now? 349 00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:54,947 I have no idea, I'm chained to the damn wall! 350 00:16:55,082 --> 00:16:56,949 - [clanging] - I can help you find it. 351 00:16:57,084 --> 00:16:59,752 Please, let me go, before he kills us both. 352 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,588 There's a key there, on the table. 353 00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:05,292 Please! 354 00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:08,728 How dare you. 355 00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:10,430 Hiding inside a little old lady. 356 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:11,530 [Henrietta groaning] 357 00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:13,566 You must take me for a grade A chump! 358 00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:14,934 What are you doing? 359 00:17:15,102 --> 00:17:16,269 - [Henrietta wailing] - Listen up, cupcake. 360 00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:17,504 I'm from the future, 361 00:17:17,604 --> 00:17:20,307 so all of your Deadite mumbo jumbo isn't new to me. 362 00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:21,708 - [Henrietta stammering] - You can pop now, 363 00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:24,211 you can pop later, I don't give a rat's ass. 364 00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:25,678 All I care about is that book, 365 00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:27,247 and you're going to tell me where it is, 366 00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:29,216 - right now! - Ow! [groaning] 367 00:17:29,316 --> 00:17:31,118 Stop! You're worse than my husband! 368 00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:32,219 - [Henrietta shrieks] - [Ash laughing] 369 00:17:32,319 --> 00:17:34,121 I can do this all day, sugar lips. 370 00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:36,489 - [Henrietta gasps] - [car approaching] 371 00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:41,261 It's him. 372 00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:42,562 [car doors closing] 373 00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:50,337 [door opening] 374 00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:52,639 Welcome to my cabin in the woods. 375 00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:54,207 - It is. - [door closing] 376 00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:55,442 It's really nice. 377 00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:57,719 Looks like he's got a hot little number on the side, too. 378 00:17:57,744 --> 00:17:59,179 Good for him. 379 00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:02,215 - Uh, I mean, uh, men are such pigs. - PROFESSOR KNOWBY: This can be yours. 380 00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:05,985 He's going to torture her, just like he tortured me. 381 00:18:06,153 --> 00:18:09,256 Professor Knowby, I can't thank you enough for the extra credit. 382 00:18:09,356 --> 00:18:11,658 [chuckles] You're a good student. 383 00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:12,925 You deserve it. 384 00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:17,597 Now, your roommates aren't going to be worried about you, 385 00:18:17,697 --> 00:18:19,232 being away for the weekend? 386 00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:22,369 Oh, well, I live alone. 387 00:18:22,469 --> 00:18:25,347 I had a cat, but it just ran away for absolutely no reason. 388 00:18:25,372 --> 00:18:27,674 So, it's really just me. 389 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,176 More time to focus on your work. 390 00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:31,544 - [chuckles] - [suspenseful music playing] 391 00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:32,644 [gasping] 392 00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:36,574 - [chuckling nervously] - Uh, it's just the wind. 393 00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:43,423 Now, before we start these translations, there's... 394 00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:46,025 just something I need you to help me with. 395 00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:47,460 Please, there's no time. 396 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:48,560 - The key! - No. 397 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,197 Not until I know where that book is. 398 00:18:50,263 --> 00:18:51,598 - Now spill. - Unlock me first. 399 00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:52,999 Not a chance. 400 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:55,868 He always keeps it with him, so the book is here now. 401 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,838 Just let me go, and I'll show you! 402 00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:00,873 Please! I'm not whatever you think I am! 403 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,809 [trap door opens, stairs creaking] 404 00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:07,214 Please... don't let him hurt me again. 405 00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:08,515 PROFESSOR KNOWBY: Down here. 406 00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:10,317 - Down. - TANYA: Down there? 407 00:19:10,417 --> 00:19:11,484 Right. 408 00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,355 Gosh, it's cold. 409 00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:17,524 PROFESSOR KNOWBY: You'll forgive the darkness. 410 00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:18,725 And the dirt. 411 00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:21,828 And the cobwebs. [chuckles] 412 00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:25,365 Maybe we should head back upstairs? 413 00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:28,301 Where there's more... light? 414 00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:31,571 Tanya, I'm sorry. 415 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,540 I fear I may have deceived you. 416 00:19:34,807 --> 00:19:37,744 You're not really here to help me translate. 417 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,246 What do you mean, Professor? 418 00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:42,315 Wh-why am I here? 419 00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:44,417 For something much more important. 420 00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:47,487 [eerie music playing] 421 00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:55,262 [heavy breathing] 422 00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:56,363 - What the fu... - [clangs] 423 00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:58,531 Fuck! [gasps] 424 00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:00,733 - [Tanya screaming] - [Ash gasping] 425 00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:02,635 Fuck! 426 00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:04,170 Oh, my dear, I'm so sorry. 427 00:20:04,271 --> 00:20:06,273 - [wailing] - Does it hurt? 428 00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:07,613 Can I offer you some Ibuprofen? 429 00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:09,942 What?! Yes, it fucking hurts! 430 00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,122 - [shrieking] - [metal creaking] 431 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,613 Truly, I can't apologize enough. 432 00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,448 This really is my only option. 433 00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,350 - [crunching] - [screaming] 434 00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:19,581 Jesus... you were right. 435 00:20:19,606 --> 00:20:20,807 Guy's a dick. 436 00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:22,589 [speaking softly] And he's going to kill her too. 437 00:20:22,689 --> 00:20:24,657 We need to stop him. 438 00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:26,559 [Tanya sobbing] 439 00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:27,927 TANYA: Why are you doing this?! 440 00:20:28,027 --> 00:20:30,129 I have no choice. 441 00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:33,766 On my last expedition, I found the Necronomicon. 442 00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:35,702 I became obsessed with its power. 443 00:20:35,802 --> 00:20:36,803 - [wailing] - [metal creaking] 444 00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,671 It called to me... 445 00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:40,239 overtook me. 446 00:20:40,432 --> 00:20:43,001 Please... he's a monster. 447 00:20:43,109 --> 00:20:44,577 So, I read from the book, 448 00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:46,178 and summoned the Kandarian Demon. 449 00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:49,048 [clanging] 450 00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:50,883 It was magnificent. 451 00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,387 PROFESSOR KNOWBY: Unlike anything I've ever seen. 452 00:20:54,487 --> 00:20:56,047 [whispering] Okay, I got this. Go hide. 453 00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:57,256 [whispering] Okay. 454 00:20:57,356 --> 00:20:59,358 Until it possessed my wife, Henrietta. 455 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,261 That's why she's chained up down here. 456 00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:03,763 [suspenseful music playing] 457 00:21:03,863 --> 00:21:05,832 You got to be kidding me. 458 00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:07,434 [clinking] 459 00:21:07,534 --> 00:21:09,035 Nothing else worked. 460 00:21:09,135 --> 00:21:11,638 Maybe I can find a way to get the demon out of her, 461 00:21:11,738 --> 00:21:12,739 and into you. 462 00:21:12,839 --> 00:21:15,174 - [Tanya whimpering] - [gasping] 463 00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:17,444 That lying old witch. 464 00:21:17,477 --> 00:21:19,446 - [Deadite Henrietta cackling] - [Ash yelling] 465 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:21,948 - [gasping] - Oh, no. 466 00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:25,785 You brought us home a third! 467 00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:27,754 How naughty of you! 468 00:21:27,854 --> 00:21:30,723 [glass shattering] 469 00:21:30,823 --> 00:21:32,925 - [eerie breathing] - [Ruby gasping] 470 00:21:33,025 --> 00:21:34,461 What? 471 00:21:34,561 --> 00:21:37,063 The book, it's just been opened. 472 00:21:37,163 --> 00:21:39,031 [leaves rustling, creaking] 473 00:21:45,472 --> 00:21:47,474 - [slithering] - [both grunting, yelling] 474 00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:52,845 - [suspenseful music playing] - [wind howling] 475 00:21:54,213 --> 00:21:56,115 [both screaming] 476 00:21:57,684 --> 00:21:59,018 [Deadite Henrietta laughing maniacally] 477 00:21:59,118 --> 00:22:01,053 - [both grunting] - [gunshot] 478 00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:03,923 I'm going to stomp you a new mud hole to suck out your soul! 479 00:22:04,023 --> 00:22:06,192 I should've slapped you harder! 480 00:22:06,493 --> 00:22:08,160 [both yelling] 481 00:22:09,596 --> 00:22:11,898 [suspenseful music playing] 482 00:22:11,998 --> 00:22:12,899 [roaring] 483 00:22:12,999 --> 00:22:14,801 Ah! Ruby, help! 484 00:22:14,901 --> 00:22:16,836 [choking] 485 00:22:18,204 --> 00:22:20,072 [both yelling, grunting] 486 00:22:23,876 --> 00:22:26,012 - RUBY: Kelly! - [roars] 487 00:22:26,913 --> 00:22:28,515 - [panting] - Ha! 488 00:22:28,548 --> 00:22:29,816 - [gasping] - [Deadite Henrietta cackling] 489 00:22:29,916 --> 00:22:33,019 That chin of yours is an easy target! 490 00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:35,187 Yeah? Now it's my turn, jelly belly. 491 00:22:35,287 --> 00:22:37,123 - [gunshot] - [cackling continues] 492 00:22:38,991 --> 00:22:41,761 - [Tanya gasping] - [Deadite Henrietta cackling] 493 00:22:41,861 --> 00:22:42,941 [Deadite Henrietta mocking] 494 00:22:42,995 --> 00:22:44,096 Help me! 495 00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:46,896 Please! Please! Can you get me out of here!? 496 00:22:48,134 --> 00:22:50,637 [Tanya panting, screaming] 497 00:22:51,771 --> 00:22:53,740 - [crunching] - [yelling] 498 00:22:55,074 --> 00:22:57,209 Help! Let go! 499 00:22:59,045 --> 00:23:00,079 [Ruby yelling] 500 00:23:02,081 --> 00:23:03,983 - [Kelly yelling] - [Demon Tree growling] 501 00:23:07,587 --> 00:23:09,589 Stab it in its eye! 502 00:23:09,689 --> 00:23:11,624 - [grunting] - [yelling] 503 00:23:13,292 --> 00:23:15,161 - [Ruby grunts, yelling] - [Demon Tree roaring] 504 00:23:18,865 --> 00:23:20,800 - [wind howling] - [screeching] 505 00:23:23,269 --> 00:23:24,436 [both panting] 506 00:23:24,571 --> 00:23:26,939 The good news is, now I can add "Demonic Tree" 507 00:23:27,039 --> 00:23:29,693 to the list of things that have tried to murder me since I met Ash. 508 00:23:29,801 --> 00:23:31,935 Could have been worse. Let's go find him. 509 00:23:33,345 --> 00:23:35,381 - [Tanya shrieking] - [crunching] 510 00:23:35,615 --> 00:23:37,049 Okay! Hey, hey! 511 00:23:37,149 --> 00:23:38,150 Listen to me! 512 00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:39,686 Shouting is not going to loosen the trap. 513 00:23:39,786 --> 00:23:41,020 You got to stop! 514 00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:43,022 - [panting] - [eerie music playing] 515 00:23:44,824 --> 00:23:46,225 Okay, thank you. 516 00:23:46,325 --> 00:23:48,427 Now looks like you're stuck in there pretty good. 517 00:23:48,595 --> 00:23:51,263 Good news is, if we have to amputate to get you out, 518 00:23:51,363 --> 00:23:53,600 I'm your guy. [chuckling] 519 00:23:53,633 --> 00:23:56,202 It may not seem like it, but this is your lucky day. 520 00:23:56,302 --> 00:23:57,670 My name is Ash Williams. 521 00:23:57,770 --> 00:23:59,071 I'm a hero from the future. 522 00:23:59,171 --> 00:24:00,940 I'm here to save the world from evil. 523 00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:02,320 - Again. - [cackling in distance] 524 00:24:05,277 --> 00:24:06,277 - [ripping] - [grunting] 525 00:24:06,312 --> 00:24:07,446 I'm Tanya. 526 00:24:07,614 --> 00:24:09,015 I'm a student from Wisconsin. 527 00:24:09,115 --> 00:24:10,983 I was here to help the professor with his book. 528 00:24:11,083 --> 00:24:12,083 Stupid Necronomicon! 529 00:24:12,151 --> 00:24:13,252 - [crunching] - [screaming] 530 00:24:13,352 --> 00:24:15,054 Jeez, I'm sorry. [yells] 531 00:24:15,154 --> 00:24:17,089 That thing has been a festering boil on my ass 532 00:24:17,189 --> 00:24:19,258 - for most of my adult life. - [yelling continues] 533 00:24:19,358 --> 00:24:21,160 But it ends today. Believe that. 534 00:24:21,260 --> 00:24:23,630 - [metal creaking] - [Tanya continues screaming] 535 00:24:23,696 --> 00:24:26,298 - [eerie music playing] - [evil cackling] 536 00:24:26,398 --> 00:24:28,267 - [gasping] - [evil chuckling] 537 00:24:30,870 --> 00:24:32,639 - [stammering] - [groaning] 538 00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,275 Yep, working on it. 539 00:24:36,375 --> 00:24:38,510 Give me a break, I got one hand! 540 00:24:38,645 --> 00:24:39,965 - Jesus! - [stomping grows louder] 541 00:24:41,881 --> 00:24:43,850 - [Deadite Henrietta roaring] - [Ash yelling] 542 00:24:45,117 --> 00:24:46,653 - [Ash grunting] - [Tanya screaming] 543 00:24:46,753 --> 00:24:48,454 Ash, stop! 544 00:24:48,721 --> 00:24:49,856 I can't! 545 00:24:49,956 --> 00:24:51,858 [in mocking tone] I can't! 546 00:24:51,958 --> 00:24:54,761 - [Ash grunting] - [Tanya screaming] 547 00:24:54,861 --> 00:24:56,195 Let go! 548 00:24:56,295 --> 00:24:57,664 I'm stuck! 549 00:24:58,264 --> 00:25:00,466 - Stuck! [growling] - Oh! 550 00:25:00,700 --> 00:25:03,402 [both yelling] 551 00:25:03,670 --> 00:25:05,137 [growls] 552 00:25:05,237 --> 00:25:07,339 Tanya, stop the Professor! 553 00:25:07,439 --> 00:25:09,676 - Don't let him take that book! - [wailing] 554 00:25:09,742 --> 00:25:12,211 - Bye-bye, dear. - [buzzing] 555 00:25:12,945 --> 00:25:14,046 Let's have some fun! 556 00:25:14,146 --> 00:25:15,848 - Why wait? - [Deadite Henrietta grunting] 557 00:25:17,249 --> 00:25:19,786 - [Ash laughing] - [splattering] 558 00:25:19,886 --> 00:25:21,821 [Deadite Henrietta grunting] 559 00:25:23,690 --> 00:25:25,024 - Ah! - Huh?! 560 00:25:25,124 --> 00:25:26,425 [both yelling] 561 00:25:26,693 --> 00:25:28,695 You call that fun? 562 00:25:28,761 --> 00:25:31,197 - [whimpering] - [slamming] 563 00:25:31,964 --> 00:25:32,999 [gasping] 564 00:25:33,099 --> 00:25:34,834 Professor! Professor! Please! 565 00:25:34,934 --> 00:25:35,968 I'm sorry, Tanya. 566 00:25:36,068 --> 00:25:37,068 Please! 567 00:25:37,136 --> 00:25:40,106 I'm not normally like this, I swear! 568 00:25:40,206 --> 00:25:42,374 Oh, you're a fucking asshole! 569 00:25:42,474 --> 00:25:44,543 - [slams] - [Tanya screaming] 570 00:25:44,711 --> 00:25:46,591 - [engine sputtering] - [Deadite Henrietta cackling] 571 00:25:47,714 --> 00:25:49,916 [grunting] 572 00:25:50,016 --> 00:25:52,184 [stomping grows louder] 573 00:25:52,284 --> 00:25:53,385 He's locked the door! 574 00:25:55,254 --> 00:25:56,989 [dramatic music playing] 575 00:25:57,089 --> 00:26:00,126 Knowby! You open this goddamn door! 576 00:26:00,226 --> 00:26:01,393 ASH: Get back here! 577 00:26:01,493 --> 00:26:02,862 - [cackling grows louder] - [Tanya panting] 578 00:26:02,962 --> 00:26:06,298 Boo! I see you! 579 00:26:08,768 --> 00:26:11,938 You're both dirty birds. 580 00:26:12,038 --> 00:26:14,240 And I'm going to hurt you, 581 00:26:14,340 --> 00:26:17,109 real, real... 582 00:26:17,209 --> 00:26:18,881 bad. 583 00:26:18,906 --> 00:26:20,132 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.MY-SUBS.com 584 00:26:20,157 --> 00:26:23,482 ♪ Let's get physical, physical ♪ 585 00:26:23,750 --> 00:26:26,352 ♪ I wanna get physical ♪ 586 00:26:26,452 --> 00:26:28,420 ♪ Let's get into physical ♪ 587 00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:31,123 ♪ Let me hear your body talk ♪ 588 00:26:31,223 --> 00:26:35,061 ♪ Your body talk, let me hear your body talk ♪ 589 00:26:35,161 --> 00:26:38,898 ♪ Let's get physical, physical ♪ 590 00:26:38,998 --> 00:26:41,801 ♪ I wanna get physical ♪ 591 00:26:41,901 --> 00:26:43,970 ♪ Let's get into physical ♪ 592 00:26:44,070 --> 00:26:46,472 ♪ Let me hear your body talk ♪ 593 00:26:46,572 --> 00:26:50,777 ♪ Your body talk, let me hear your body talk ♪ 594 00:26:51,778 --> 00:26:52,779 ♪ 595 00:27:07,293 --> 00:27:08,293 ♪ 596 00:27:13,065 --> 00:27:14,400 ♪♪