00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
Translated By The Community Of WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
1
00:00:01,945 --> 00:00:03,912
I cleaned out Spencer's fridge.
2
00:00:04,014 --> 00:00:06,281
I'm not saying there's
a correlation to his death,
3
00:00:06,383 --> 00:00:07,982
but dude drank a lot of Tab.
4
00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:09,450
His lawyer will be here any minute.
5
00:00:09,519 --> 00:00:14,155
When I inherit this place,
I'm gonna hire a staff.
6
00:00:14,257 --> 00:00:16,758
What makes you think you're
inheriting Spencer's fortune?
7
00:00:16,860 --> 00:00:18,793
Why else would his lawyer
want to meet with me?
8
00:00:18,862 --> 00:00:23,464
Face it... I'm Spencer's sole
heir, and now this is all mine.
9
00:00:24,568 --> 00:00:26,367
I'm rich!
10
00:00:26,469 --> 00:00:28,369
I'm gonna raise these ceilings
11
00:00:28,471 --> 00:00:30,939
so I hear more of an echo
when I scream that.
12
00:00:31,007 --> 00:00:33,007
Being rich will be so much fun.
13
00:00:33,109 --> 00:00:34,694
Pump your brakes, blondie.
14
00:00:34,789 --> 00:00:36,489
I'm rich, not you.
15
00:00:36,599 --> 00:00:38,925
You want money, earn it like I did.
16
00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:40,059
You didn't earn it.
17
00:00:40,161 --> 00:00:42,028
You got it for being nice
to some old rich guy.
18
00:00:42,130 --> 00:00:43,696
Trust me. You'll get there.
19
00:00:45,100 --> 00:00:46,432
What if Oliver's right?
20
00:00:46,468 --> 00:00:48,735
What if Spencer did
leave him everything?
21
00:00:48,837 --> 00:00:50,470
Money ruins people.
22
00:00:50,538 --> 00:00:54,707
Here's the Venn diagram
of rich people and jerks.
23
00:00:54,776 --> 00:00:56,809
It's one circle.
24
00:00:56,878 --> 00:00:57,910
Greg!
25
00:00:58,013 --> 00:01:00,680
I'm using "Venn diagram" in context.
26
00:01:00,782 --> 00:01:02,415
This used to get you aroused.
27
00:01:02,517 --> 00:01:03,483
Sorry, I'm fine-tuning
28
00:01:03,551 --> 00:01:04,817
my presentation for the tenure board.
29
00:01:04,886 --> 00:01:06,819
This could make or break my career.
30
00:01:06,888 --> 00:01:08,154
Tell me what sounds better.
31
00:01:08,256 --> 00:01:09,722
"Greetings."
32
00:01:09,824 --> 00:01:11,891
- Mm-hmm.
- Or...
33
00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:14,661
"Good afternoon"?
34
00:01:14,729 --> 00:01:16,529
It all depends whether
I want to be funny or not.
35
00:01:16,598 --> 00:01:17,730
Mm-hmm.
36
00:01:17,799 --> 00:01:20,366
Finally, the lawyer's here.
37
00:01:23,271 --> 00:01:24,871
Snack bar's open.
38
00:01:24,973 --> 00:01:26,973
- Grandma?
- Oliver!
39
00:01:27,075 --> 00:01:29,666
Thank God I didn't go topless.
40
00:01:30,934 --> 00:01:35,848
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.MY-SUBS.com
41
00:01:35,950 --> 00:01:39,752
Or I could say, "Good afternoon."
42
00:01:39,854 --> 00:01:41,454
Why is "good afternoon" funny?
43
00:01:41,523 --> 00:01:44,524
Because, you know, it's... it's like...
44
00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:46,192
Oh, crap.
45
00:01:46,294 --> 00:01:48,194
I just can't believe he's gone.
46
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We had plans.
We were gonna travel together.
47
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The last text he sent me was,
48
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"Let's see London, let's see France,
49
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I want to see your...
50
00:01:57,339 --> 00:01:58,404
underpants."
51
00:01:58,506 --> 00:02:01,174
Oh, God, he was so funny. Just...
52
00:02:01,276 --> 00:02:03,609
I'm gonna miss him.
53
00:02:03,712 --> 00:02:05,945
Mom, why didn't you tell me
you were coming to Westport?
54
00:02:06,047 --> 00:02:07,313
Well, I wasn't coming to see you.
55
00:02:07,415 --> 00:02:09,882
I had a scheduled rendezvous
with Spencer.
56
00:02:09,984 --> 00:02:12,051
So how long has this been going on,
57
00:02:12,153 --> 00:02:13,219
you sneaking into town
58
00:02:13,321 --> 00:02:15,221
dressed as a partially deflated
blow-up doll?
59
00:02:15,323 --> 00:02:16,522
Since Thanksgiving,
60
00:02:16,624 --> 00:02:19,559
I'd come to Westport every now
and again for a little...
61
00:02:21,463 --> 00:02:22,795
...grown-up hugging.
62
00:02:22,897 --> 00:02:25,131
I got it.
63
00:02:25,233 --> 00:02:28,034
So, exactly how many times
has my own mother been next door
64
00:02:28,136 --> 00:02:29,369
and not bothered to tell me?
65
00:02:29,471 --> 00:02:32,638
Um, once in December,
a couple times in January,
66
00:02:32,741 --> 00:02:35,274
and I guess the last time was the 18th.
67
00:02:35,343 --> 00:02:36,409
The 18th?
68
00:02:36,478 --> 00:02:37,443
You mean my birthday?
69
00:02:37,545 --> 00:02:39,412
Oh! I guess that's right.
70
00:02:39,514 --> 00:02:40,813
Um, happy birthday, sweetie.
71
00:02:43,151 --> 00:02:46,919
Everyone, this is Spencer's
attorney, Linda Ramirez.
72
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Hi. I'm Katie.
73
00:02:48,790 --> 00:02:50,490
- This is my husband, Greg.
- Hi.
74
00:02:50,592 --> 00:02:52,425
And I'm Kathryn, Spencer's lover.
75
00:02:52,527 --> 00:02:54,761
You also could've just said
you were my mom.
76
00:02:54,829 --> 00:02:56,996
I was going with
my more impressive credit.
77
00:02:57,098 --> 00:03:00,400
Nice meeting everyone,
especially you, Oliver.
78
00:03:00,502 --> 00:03:01,701
Spencer made it very clear that,
79
00:03:01,803 --> 00:03:04,270
in case of his untimely demise,
80
00:03:04,339 --> 00:03:06,005
he wanted to give you this.
81
00:03:09,110 --> 00:03:10,243
His ashes?
82
00:03:10,345 --> 00:03:12,311
Yes. And he specifically indicated,
83
00:03:12,414 --> 00:03:13,913
"He'll know what to do with them."
84
00:03:14,015 --> 00:03:16,582
Crumpled-up dead guy? Lucky.
85
00:03:16,776 --> 00:03:17,976
This is actually a relief.
86
00:03:18,078 --> 00:03:20,678
We were afraid that Oliver
was named in Spencer's will.
87
00:03:20,780 --> 00:03:21,946
Oh, he is.
88
00:03:22,048 --> 00:03:22,947
- He is?
- Mm.
89
00:03:23,049 --> 00:03:24,148
- I am?
- Mm-hmm.
90
00:03:24,217 --> 00:03:26,484
Do I happen to be in the will?
91
00:03:26,586 --> 00:03:27,785
That's Kathryn with a Y.
92
00:03:27,888 --> 00:03:28,753
No, ma'am.
93
00:03:28,855 --> 00:03:30,788
Oh. Well, I'm out of here.
94
00:03:32,292 --> 00:03:33,725
But you two are in the will, as well.
95
00:03:33,827 --> 00:03:35,126
- Us?
- Them?
96
00:03:35,195 --> 00:03:37,529
Yes. We'll schedule a viewing
in the next day or two.
97
00:03:37,631 --> 00:03:39,531
- A viewing?
- It's a video will.
98
00:03:39,633 --> 00:03:40,765
Oh, that man.
99
00:03:40,834 --> 00:03:42,333
He loved to record everything.
100
00:03:42,435 --> 00:03:44,402
Ugh!
101
00:03:46,773 --> 00:03:48,873
So, what are you gonna do
with Spencer's ashes?
102
00:03:48,942 --> 00:03:50,542
I decided to spread them
in his motor court.
103
00:03:50,644 --> 00:03:52,777
Why would Spencer want a driveway to be
104
00:03:52,879 --> 00:03:54,178
his final resting place?
105
00:03:54,247 --> 00:03:57,515
Because he loved cars
and it's where we first met
106
00:03:57,584 --> 00:03:59,784
and... it's right across the street.
107
00:03:59,886 --> 00:04:00,885
You can't just phone this in
108
00:04:00,987 --> 00:04:02,086
because you don't know what to do.
109
00:04:02,188 --> 00:04:03,288
Spencer was your friend.
110
00:04:03,390 --> 00:04:06,090
Yeah. If you disrespect
the dead, they'll haunt you.
111
00:04:06,192 --> 00:04:07,892
Spencer isn't gonna haunt us.
112
00:04:07,994 --> 00:04:09,694
He doesn't care where his ashes are.
113
00:04:09,796 --> 00:04:10,995
I'm doing it.
114
00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:15,833
Spencer's spirit.
115
00:04:15,869 --> 00:04:17,835
He's communicating
that he is not on board
116
00:04:17,938 --> 00:04:19,771
with your stupid driveway scheme.
117
00:04:19,873 --> 00:04:22,240
I'm not saying you're right, but
what else am I supposed to do?
118
00:04:22,342 --> 00:04:24,142
He said I would know, but I don't.
119
00:04:24,177 --> 00:04:25,977
I think I know how to figure out
what he'd want.
120
00:04:26,079 --> 00:04:27,145
Great. How?
121
00:04:27,213 --> 00:04:28,713
It'll cost you $20,000.
122
00:04:28,815 --> 00:04:30,648
$20,000 to hear your dumb idea?
123
00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:32,350
When you inherit Spencer's millions,
124
00:04:32,452 --> 00:04:33,718
20 grand will be nothing.
125
00:04:33,820 --> 00:04:36,020
Fine. What is it?
126
00:04:36,089 --> 00:04:37,589
Ask someone who knew Spencer.
127
00:04:37,691 --> 00:04:39,657
Talk to his old cellmate
from federal prison.
128
00:04:39,726 --> 00:04:42,160
That's actually a good idea.
129
00:04:42,228 --> 00:04:43,161
I can drive you there.
130
00:04:43,263 --> 00:04:45,263
- Thanks.
- For another $20,000.
131
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:48,132
And a pony for the kid.
132
00:04:51,638 --> 00:04:54,906
What if Spencer did leave us
his fortune and we're rich?
133
00:04:55,008 --> 00:04:57,675
I'm not sure that would be good,
because money changes people.
134
00:04:57,744 --> 00:05:00,912
Ah. My two favorite people
in my favorite place.
135
00:05:01,014 --> 00:05:02,580
The Lord's blessings are many.
136
00:05:02,682 --> 00:05:03,948
What are you doing here?
137
00:05:04,050 --> 00:05:05,083
I thought you were leaving?
138
00:05:05,185 --> 00:05:06,050
Well, I thought that I'd stay
139
00:05:06,152 --> 00:05:07,986
and take care of my "Katie-cakes."
140
00:05:08,088 --> 00:05:11,389
Now, I did the laundry, and now
I'm gonna go fluff your pillows.
141
00:05:14,227 --> 00:05:16,027
This is exactly what I'm talking about.
142
00:05:16,129 --> 00:05:18,596
Money changes people. She's being nice.
143
00:05:18,665 --> 00:05:20,498
Good God! I hope "Dateline"
doesn't hear about this.
144
00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:22,233
She's finally becoming
the mom she never was
145
00:05:22,335 --> 00:05:23,668
just to get into my pocketbook.
146
00:05:23,770 --> 00:05:25,703
Katie, can we talk about this
after my presentation?
147
00:05:25,805 --> 00:05:27,405
Fine. Do you want to practice it on me?
148
00:05:27,507 --> 00:05:29,474
No. You always interrupt me,
yelling "Freebird."
149
00:05:29,576 --> 00:05:31,542
You're never gonna make it
if you can't handle hecklers.
150
00:05:31,645 --> 00:05:32,877
What else can I do for you?
151
00:05:32,979 --> 00:05:34,779
Nothing. I'm good.
152
00:05:34,881 --> 00:05:37,248
I don't need any help from her.
Sell it someplace else, lady.
153
00:05:37,317 --> 00:05:41,185
How about you go and sit
on the couch and watch TV
154
00:05:41,287 --> 00:05:44,055
and I will make you
a grilled cheese sandwich?
155
00:05:44,157 --> 00:05:46,824
Thanks, Mommy.
156
00:05:46,893 --> 00:05:49,027
It's hard to stick to your
principles on an empty stomach.
157
00:05:55,749 --> 00:05:58,134
And just the idea of
inheriting money from Spencer
158
00:05:58,236 --> 00:05:59,970
is already screwing with my family.
159
00:06:00,038 --> 00:06:02,572
Oliver officially has
dollar signs for eyeballs,
160
00:06:02,664 --> 00:06:04,074
and now that she thinks
we're about to be rich,
161
00:06:04,176 --> 00:06:05,875
my mother is acting like the mom
162
00:06:05,944 --> 00:06:07,877
from every
Children's TYLENOL commercial.
163
00:06:07,913 --> 00:06:10,103
Ooh, rich Katie. I can't wait.
164
00:06:10,189 --> 00:06:11,275
What are you gonna buy first?
165
00:06:11,338 --> 00:06:13,283
I have a thought...
get a replacement for that top.
166
00:06:13,352 --> 00:06:16,619
Hey! I got this from the fancy
section at Marshall's.
167
00:06:16,688 --> 00:06:18,388
I know it was fancy
because all the clothes
168
00:06:18,490 --> 00:06:20,006
had those plastic alarm thingies.
169
00:06:20,099 --> 00:06:22,425
Look, I may not have
a lot of extra money to burn,
170
00:06:22,494 --> 00:06:24,685
but I actually like the way we live.
171
00:06:24,764 --> 00:06:27,095
Katie, I've been rich,
and I've been poor,
172
00:06:27,164 --> 00:06:28,930
and, trust me, rich is better.
173
00:06:28,999 --> 00:06:30,232
Yeah, I've never been poor,
174
00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:32,300
but from those ads I see
about feeding kids
175
00:06:32,369 --> 00:06:34,236
for the price of a cup of coffee a day,
176
00:06:34,271 --> 00:06:35,971
it definitely seems like it sucks.
177
00:06:36,006 --> 00:06:38,607
I don't want money to ruin my kids.
178
00:06:38,675 --> 00:06:39,841
No matter how much money you have,
179
00:06:39,943 --> 00:06:42,010
you can always teach your kids
good values.
180
00:06:42,112 --> 00:06:43,211
Angela's right.
181
00:06:43,313 --> 00:06:44,913
To keep my kids from
getting spoiled, once a week,
182
00:06:44,982 --> 00:06:46,681
I replace the sandwiches
in their lunch bag
183
00:06:46,784 --> 00:06:48,950
with a note that says "Oops."
184
00:06:49,019 --> 00:06:51,086
Doris, do you ever worry
that one of your kids
185
00:06:51,155 --> 00:06:54,189
might someday...
I don't know... kill you?
186
00:06:54,258 --> 00:06:55,690
It's crossed my mind.
187
00:06:55,759 --> 00:06:58,026
There is a big upside to having money.
188
00:06:58,128 --> 00:07:01,063
Imagine going to the supermarket
and not checking prices.
189
00:07:01,165 --> 00:07:02,631
- Mm.
- You could buy anything you want.
190
00:07:02,733 --> 00:07:05,500
And at the movies,
you can buy snacks there
191
00:07:05,569 --> 00:07:06,735
instead of filling your pockets
192
00:07:06,804 --> 00:07:08,170
with everything you have in your house.
193
00:07:08,272 --> 00:07:09,438
I've always wanted to do that.
194
00:07:09,506 --> 00:07:10,872
And you can get your car washed.
195
00:07:10,941 --> 00:07:12,140
I get my car washed.
196
00:07:12,209 --> 00:07:14,142
Mnh-mnh, you can have
other people wash your car.
197
00:07:14,211 --> 00:07:15,477
No one likes driving by
198
00:07:15,579 --> 00:07:16,878
and seeing Greg in a tank top.
199
00:07:16,947 --> 00:07:18,947
Speak for yourself.
200
00:07:26,490 --> 00:07:28,490
Nice shot.
201
00:07:28,592 --> 00:07:30,725
There you go.
202
00:07:30,794 --> 00:07:33,161
Mr. Danfield is almost done
with his golf lesson.
203
00:07:33,263 --> 00:07:34,996
Just have a seat.
204
00:07:38,402 --> 00:07:40,268
This prison is incredible.
205
00:07:40,337 --> 00:07:43,205
Steely Dan is playing this weekend.
206
00:07:43,307 --> 00:07:44,706
I see why he loved it here.
207
00:07:44,808 --> 00:07:47,309
Wait a minute. This is the place.
208
00:07:47,377 --> 00:07:49,711
This is where Spencer wants me
to spread his ashes.
209
00:07:49,813 --> 00:07:52,547
You really think Spencer wants
to spend eternity in prison?
210
00:07:52,649 --> 00:07:53,815
Everyone who gets paroled from here
211
00:07:53,917 --> 00:07:55,750
holds a special place in
their heart for Allenwood.
212
00:07:55,853 --> 00:07:57,586
They have the highest alumni-giving rate
213
00:07:57,688 --> 00:07:58,753
of all prisons.
214
00:07:58,856 --> 00:07:59,955
This is definitely it.
215
00:08:00,057 --> 00:08:01,656
Fore!
216
00:08:03,026 --> 00:08:05,694
I'd say that's a hard no from Spencer.
217
00:08:05,796 --> 00:08:07,796
Sorry. My hands are slippery.
218
00:08:07,865 --> 00:08:10,732
It's that new shea-butter hand
lotion they have at the spa.
219
00:08:10,834 --> 00:08:12,734
Sorry to keep you waiting.
220
00:08:12,836 --> 00:08:14,169
I'm Reginald.
221
00:08:14,271 --> 00:08:15,670
You must be Oliver.
222
00:08:15,739 --> 00:08:17,239
Nice to meet you.
223
00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:18,206
Wait.
224
00:08:18,308 --> 00:08:19,441
This is Oliver?
225
00:08:19,543 --> 00:08:21,109
Spencer's Oliver?
226
00:08:21,177 --> 00:08:22,177
You know who I am?
227
00:08:22,246 --> 00:08:23,478
Nice to meet you.
228
00:08:24,781 --> 00:08:27,115
Spencer would Skype in
once a week to catch up,
229
00:08:27,184 --> 00:08:29,084
loved telling about the kid next door
230
00:08:29,153 --> 00:08:31,520
who cared more about money
than he did about people.
231
00:08:31,622 --> 00:08:32,487
Aww!
232
00:08:32,589 --> 00:08:34,022
Sorry to hear about his passing.
233
00:08:34,124 --> 00:08:35,557
Me too.
234
00:08:35,626 --> 00:08:37,125
Spencer left me in charge of his ashes,
235
00:08:37,194 --> 00:08:38,460
and I'm not sure what to do with them.
236
00:08:38,562 --> 00:08:39,561
We thought you might know.
237
00:08:39,630 --> 00:08:40,862
Well, you know Spencer's favorite place
238
00:08:40,964 --> 00:08:41,930
in the entire world?
239
00:08:42,032 --> 00:08:43,999
- His driveway?
- Hawaii.
240
00:08:44,101 --> 00:08:48,503
It goes Oahu, Lanai, Maui,
this place, Kauai.
241
00:08:48,605 --> 00:08:49,938
Hawaii.
242
00:08:49,973 --> 00:08:52,374
He loved it there, and he never
got the chance to make it back.
243
00:08:52,476 --> 00:08:53,475
That's perfect.
244
00:08:53,577 --> 00:08:56,645
Hey, you. Time's up. Let's go.
245
00:08:56,713 --> 00:08:58,346
You don't want to be late for
your scuba certification.
246
00:08:58,415 --> 00:09:00,549
Right. We're not allowed
on the Aruba trip
247
00:09:00,617 --> 00:09:02,450
unless we're fully prepared.
248
00:09:02,519 --> 00:09:04,186
Prison.
249
00:09:04,254 --> 00:09:06,721
Taylor, thanks.
250
00:09:06,790 --> 00:09:08,590
That really was a $20,000 idea.
251
00:09:08,659 --> 00:09:09,691
Glad I could help.
252
00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:10,659
Let's go home.
253
00:09:10,727 --> 00:09:11,860
Oh.
254
00:09:11,962 --> 00:09:13,528
You want a ride home, too?
255
00:09:13,630 --> 00:09:15,063
That will be $30,000.
256
00:09:15,132 --> 00:09:16,998
It was only $20,000 to take me here.
257
00:09:17,067 --> 00:09:18,366
Surge pricing.
258
00:09:21,638 --> 00:09:25,340
So, I was talking to Doris
and Angela about Spencer's will,
259
00:09:25,442 --> 00:09:26,575
and I had a thought.
260
00:09:26,610 --> 00:09:29,444
What if being rich is a good thing?
261
00:09:29,546 --> 00:09:30,946
I thought you said money changes people?
262
00:09:31,014 --> 00:09:33,381
Or what if it changes our lives
for the better?
263
00:09:33,450 --> 00:09:35,784
With Spencer's inheritance,
I can manipulate my mother
264
00:09:35,852 --> 00:09:37,953
into being the mom I've always wanted.
265
00:09:38,021 --> 00:09:39,387
Mm. Healthy.
266
00:09:39,489 --> 00:09:40,889
And you can stop worrying about tenure.
267
00:09:40,991 --> 00:09:42,023
I don't follow.
268
00:09:42,092 --> 00:09:43,992
You're the best
history professor they have.
269
00:09:44,061 --> 00:09:45,860
You're a published author,
your students love you,
270
00:09:45,963 --> 00:09:47,896
and when you're rich,
you don't have to work.
271
00:09:47,998 --> 00:09:50,165
Screw the tenure. The pressure's off.
272
00:09:50,267 --> 00:09:52,801
I hadn't thought of that.
273
00:09:52,869 --> 00:09:54,636
You have all the power.
274
00:09:54,705 --> 00:09:56,972
You're right.
275
00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:58,440
I don't have to be nervous
for this meeting.
276
00:09:58,542 --> 00:10:00,108
I can go in there, do whatever I want!
277
00:10:00,210 --> 00:10:01,743
You're the top dog, dawg!
278
00:10:01,845 --> 00:10:03,912
Woof, woof, woof, woof!
279
00:10:06,450 --> 00:10:07,482
Please don't say anything.
280
00:10:13,323 --> 00:10:14,689
This is so sweet.
281
00:10:14,791 --> 00:10:16,591
It feels like something
the Branch Davidians would do
282
00:10:16,693 --> 00:10:17,892
before the Rapture.
283
00:10:17,995 --> 00:10:19,227
But still sweet.
284
00:10:19,329 --> 00:10:20,228
Morning.
285
00:10:20,297 --> 00:10:21,529
Morning.
286
00:10:21,598 --> 00:10:23,164
I made breakfast for everyone.
287
00:10:23,267 --> 00:10:24,366
Yours is on the counter.
288
00:10:24,468 --> 00:10:27,202
Watch this... inheritance at work.
289
00:10:27,304 --> 00:10:29,004
This is great, but I like it
290
00:10:29,106 --> 00:10:30,972
when the waffle smiles back at me.
291
00:10:31,041 --> 00:10:32,440
Oh, I can do that.
292
00:10:35,045 --> 00:10:35,977
Thanks.
293
00:10:36,079 --> 00:10:37,545
I got to run to the grocery store.
294
00:10:37,648 --> 00:10:40,081
I hope I can get back before
Spencer's will viewing.
295
00:10:40,117 --> 00:10:42,417
I don't want you rushing.
That's how accidents happen.
296
00:10:42,486 --> 00:10:45,353
No, you stay home,
and I'll go to the store.
297
00:10:45,455 --> 00:10:47,188
Also, the gutters are disgusting.
298
00:10:47,291 --> 00:10:48,290
We don't have a ladder,
299
00:10:48,358 --> 00:10:50,091
but I'm sure you'll figure it out.
300
00:10:58,769 --> 00:11:00,135
Hey, Dr. Paulson.
301
00:11:00,237 --> 00:11:01,836
Professor Otto, you're five minutes late.
302
00:11:01,938 --> 00:11:03,438
Well, I meant to be 10 minutes late,
303
00:11:03,507 --> 00:11:05,874
so looks like I got some time to kill.
304
00:11:05,976 --> 00:11:08,276
Well, when you've finished
helping yourself
305
00:11:08,345 --> 00:11:10,045
to our beverages,
why don't you have a seat?
306
00:11:10,147 --> 00:11:11,680
You got it, big guy.
307
00:11:11,782 --> 00:11:12,847
No net for the lemon?
308
00:11:12,949 --> 00:11:14,449
No?
309
00:11:14,551 --> 00:11:16,318
I'll make do.
310
00:11:16,420 --> 00:11:18,553
So... what's up?
311
00:11:20,791 --> 00:11:22,257
Tell us, Professor Otto,
312
00:11:22,326 --> 00:11:25,393
what do you have
to offer the university,
313
00:11:25,495 --> 00:11:26,828
should you be awarded tenure?
314
00:11:26,897 --> 00:11:29,197
You know, I don't teach
because I have to.
315
00:11:29,299 --> 00:11:31,399
I teach because I want to.
316
00:11:31,468 --> 00:11:34,035
A lot of schools want to
put a ring on this finger,
317
00:11:34,137 --> 00:11:35,970
so maybe you should be telling me why
318
00:11:36,039 --> 00:11:38,740
I should spend the best years of
my career at this university.
319
00:11:38,842 --> 00:11:40,675
Oh, oh, don't answer right away.
320
00:11:40,777 --> 00:11:41,843
Think about it.
321
00:11:41,945 --> 00:11:43,945
Get back to me. Or don't.
322
00:11:44,047 --> 00:11:45,714
Professor, the board would like to know
323
00:11:45,816 --> 00:11:47,282
what we can expect from you
324
00:11:47,384 --> 00:11:51,119
in terms of potential grants,
published works,
325
00:11:51,221 --> 00:11:52,454
speaking engagements.
326
00:11:52,556 --> 00:11:55,290
You know, I could sit
and list my accomplishments,
327
00:11:55,392 --> 00:11:58,226
but if you really want to know
what's under my hood...
328
00:12:00,764 --> 00:12:02,964
Here's my book.
329
00:12:04,701 --> 00:12:05,834
Check out the author photo
330
00:12:05,936 --> 00:12:07,869
and resist the temptation
to swipe right.
331
00:12:07,971 --> 00:12:12,073
Now, if you'll excuse me,
teacher's got to teach.
332
00:12:12,109 --> 00:12:14,509
Professor Otto,
this is highly irregular.
333
00:12:14,611 --> 00:12:16,845
Oh, God, I am so sorry.
334
00:12:20,751 --> 00:12:25,720
"Dear Jimmy,
too many inside jokes to name.
335
00:12:25,822 --> 00:12:29,290
Have a bitchin' summer... Greg."
336
00:12:35,766 --> 00:12:36,765
What's up?
337
00:12:43,740 --> 00:12:45,306
- Hey, guys.
- Finally, you're here.
338
00:12:45,375 --> 00:12:47,275
- How'd the meeting go?
- Don't know, don't care.
339
00:12:47,377 --> 00:12:48,676
May start my own college.
340
00:12:48,745 --> 00:12:49,978
Ooh, can I be dean?
341
00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:51,146
I'll show up at the frat parties,
342
00:12:51,214 --> 00:12:53,114
and everyone will think
I'm there to shut it down,
343
00:12:53,216 --> 00:12:55,483
but really I'm there to
turn it all the way up.
344
00:12:56,987 --> 00:12:59,187
Oh, sorry we had to meet here,
but the VCR I bought on eBay
345
00:12:59,289 --> 00:13:01,222
had a copy of "Captain Ron"
jammed in it.
346
00:13:01,324 --> 00:13:03,725
Hello, Ottos.
347
00:13:03,827 --> 00:13:06,828
If you're watching this,
it means I'm dead.
348
00:13:06,863 --> 00:13:10,131
Or at least, everyone thinks I'm dead.
349
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:11,266
Turn around.
350
00:13:14,037 --> 00:13:15,570
Gotcha!
351
00:13:17,107 --> 00:13:18,973
Nope, I'm dead.
352
00:13:19,042 --> 00:13:21,776
All that diet soda has
finally caught up with me.
353
00:13:21,878 --> 00:13:24,679
- Yeah.
- You are a fantastic family
354
00:13:24,781 --> 00:13:27,348
who welcomed me into your home
with open arms,
355
00:13:27,451 --> 00:13:28,850
especially you, Oliver.
356
00:13:28,952 --> 00:13:32,754
And that's why I've decided
to leave my entire estate
357
00:13:32,823 --> 00:13:34,956
and fortune to you and your parents.
358
00:13:35,058 --> 00:13:37,725
So enjoy being in the 1%.
359
00:13:39,930 --> 00:13:41,563
We're rich!
360
00:13:41,698 --> 00:13:44,399
From now on,
we only shop at Whole Foods!
361
00:13:44,468 --> 00:13:46,989
I'm gonna buy those
$20 candy bars by the register.
362
00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:49,404
- There's more.
- Oh, there's more. Greg, there's more!
363
00:13:49,506 --> 00:13:50,605
There's more.
364
00:13:50,707 --> 00:13:52,407
Hello, Oliver.
365
00:13:52,476 --> 00:13:53,875
I've slept on it,
366
00:13:53,977 --> 00:13:56,444
and I thought of something
even better to leave you...
367
00:13:56,546 --> 00:13:58,046
- nothing.
- What?
368
00:13:58,148 --> 00:14:00,982
I have no doubt you'll be
wildly successful.
369
00:14:01,084 --> 00:14:02,417
There's nothing like the feeling of
370
00:14:02,519 --> 00:14:04,085
earning your first million.
371
00:14:04,187 --> 00:14:06,488
Ollie boy, I could never forgive myself
372
00:14:06,590 --> 00:14:08,089
if I robbed you of that.
373
00:14:08,158 --> 00:14:09,858
I am so sorry, Oliver.
374
00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:11,459
You can come to
the college I'm starting.
375
00:14:11,561 --> 00:14:13,928
Katie and Greg, my father always said,
376
00:14:14,030 --> 00:14:17,866
"Family takes care of family,"
and I want to take care of you.
377
00:14:17,968 --> 00:14:20,368
A prince. This man was a prince.
378
00:14:20,470 --> 00:14:22,604
So you also get nothing.
379
00:14:22,706 --> 00:14:23,972
A prince of [bleep].
380
00:14:24,074 --> 00:14:26,107
I've seen money tear families apart,
381
00:14:26,209 --> 00:14:29,711
and I can't risk ruining
the best family I know.
382
00:14:29,813 --> 00:14:31,513
Linda, I don't know
what he's talking about.
383
00:14:31,615 --> 00:14:33,681
We're a terrible family.
I hate these people.
384
00:14:33,783 --> 00:14:35,450
Oh, wait, wait, wait, there's more.
385
00:14:35,552 --> 00:14:38,086
- Maybe he changed his mind again.
- ♪ 99 Luftballoons ♪
386
00:14:38,188 --> 00:14:41,089
♪ ♪ Auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont ♪
387
00:14:41,191 --> 00:14:42,557
Spencer was a big fan of
388
00:14:42,659 --> 00:14:44,225
videotaping himself doing karaoke.
389
00:14:44,327 --> 00:14:45,460
You'd think for a multi-millionaire,
390
00:14:45,562 --> 00:14:47,362
he wouldn't reuse the same tapes.
391
00:14:47,464 --> 00:14:49,464
- Yes, Spencer, yes!
- Grandma?
392
00:14:49,566 --> 00:14:51,799
- Oh, that's the stuff.
- Keep your voice down.
393
00:14:51,902 --> 00:14:52,967
I don't want my daughter to know
394
00:14:53,069 --> 00:14:54,302
I'm in town on her birthday.
395
00:14:54,404 --> 00:14:55,837
Ugh...
396
00:14:57,847 --> 00:15:00,675
This is so depressing.
397
00:15:00,746 --> 00:15:03,180
Our rented house, our dented car,
398
00:15:03,282 --> 00:15:05,754
that dress shirt I bought you
at the hardware store...
399
00:15:05,825 --> 00:15:07,992
Spencer had us thinking
we were gonna be rich.
400
00:15:08,094 --> 00:15:09,270
Why aren't you upset?
401
00:15:09,348 --> 00:15:11,426
All you care about it money
and you just lost millions.
402
00:15:11,473 --> 00:15:13,473
Because Spencer believed in me.
403
00:15:13,536 --> 00:15:15,046
I'll make it on my own.
404
00:15:15,109 --> 00:15:16,409
It'll mean more that way.
405
00:15:19,614 --> 00:15:20,646
Wow.
406
00:15:20,748 --> 00:15:22,248
I know.
407
00:15:22,350 --> 00:15:23,937
When Oliver makes you
want to be a better person,
408
00:15:23,976 --> 00:15:25,351
you know you're in a bad place.
409
00:15:25,453 --> 00:15:27,920
I guess you better go in
and tell your mom what happened.
410
00:15:27,989 --> 00:15:30,289
Now you can't bribe your stupid
mother into loving you anymore.
411
00:15:30,358 --> 00:15:31,590
And you've got to go to Dr. Paulson
412
00:15:31,693 --> 00:15:33,459
and beg for your stupid job back.
413
00:15:33,561 --> 00:15:36,122
Got to be nicer ways
we could talk to each other.
414
00:15:41,069 --> 00:15:42,635
Oh, my God, Mom!
415
00:15:42,737 --> 00:15:45,538
The house is so clean.
416
00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:47,840
And you made a crown roast of lamb.
417
00:15:47,909 --> 00:15:52,445
So, tell me,
how did the will reading go?
418
00:15:55,416 --> 00:15:57,116
We got the money.
419
00:16:00,021 --> 00:16:00,987
Yeah!
420
00:16:08,863 --> 00:16:10,129
Dr. Paulson.
421
00:16:10,231 --> 00:16:12,131
Well, if it isn't Professor Otto,
422
00:16:12,233 --> 00:16:13,599
the talk of the tenure board.
423
00:16:13,668 --> 00:16:14,600
Good afternoon.
424
00:16:14,702 --> 00:16:16,168
This is no time for jokes.
425
00:16:16,270 --> 00:16:18,838
Never has anyone so brazenly
426
00:16:18,940 --> 00:16:21,007
cast aside the protocol
of a tenure review.
427
00:16:21,109 --> 00:16:24,443
Your disruptive, cavalier attitude...
428
00:16:24,512 --> 00:16:27,313
- I can explain.
- ...is what this history department needs.
429
00:16:27,415 --> 00:16:28,447
What?
430
00:16:28,549 --> 00:16:30,416
...Ever. Whatever.
431
00:16:30,518 --> 00:16:32,151
You have been awarded tenure.
432
00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:36,151
- Yay!
- Whoo!
433
00:16:36,219 --> 00:16:37,986
- Happy birthday!
- Happy birthday!
434
00:16:38,055 --> 00:16:40,155
Oh. Are you serious?
435
00:16:40,223 --> 00:16:41,389
Absolutely.
436
00:16:41,458 --> 00:16:44,559
Everyone else was canned
answers, nervous laughter.
437
00:16:44,628 --> 00:16:46,327
They could barely command a classroom,
438
00:16:46,396 --> 00:16:47,862
let alone a department.
439
00:16:47,964 --> 00:16:51,232
- Well...
- You had confidence, gravitas.
440
00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:53,635
We're expecting big things from you.
441
00:16:53,703 --> 00:16:58,273
Oh, and here's your key card
to the executive faculty lounge.
442
00:17:05,849 --> 00:17:07,148
Oh.
443
00:17:14,024 --> 00:17:15,056
How'd it go?
444
00:17:15,125 --> 00:17:17,158
It went great. I got tenure!
445
00:17:17,227 --> 00:17:20,562
I'm so happy for you!
446
00:17:20,597 --> 00:17:22,430
From now on, I don't need to be
a nervous wreck all the time.
447
00:17:22,532 --> 00:17:23,865
How'd it go here?
448
00:17:23,967 --> 00:17:25,600
Also great.
449
00:17:25,702 --> 00:17:27,268
Katie, I found two houses
450
00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:29,070
right next to each other on the beach,
451
00:17:29,139 --> 00:17:30,472
so we can be together.
452
00:17:33,410 --> 00:17:34,309
You didn't tell her.
453
00:17:34,411 --> 00:17:36,144
So you got tenure!
454
00:17:36,179 --> 00:17:37,479
What's your endgame here?
455
00:17:37,581 --> 00:17:39,614
Eventually, she's gonna realize
we're still poor people
456
00:17:39,716 --> 00:17:41,716
who are buying the manager's
special discounted meat.
457
00:17:41,818 --> 00:17:43,218
That is perfectly good meat.
458
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:44,619
Expiration dates are a scam.
459
00:17:44,721 --> 00:17:46,254
Katie, you need to
tell your mom the truth.
460
00:17:46,389 --> 00:17:47,655
So, what are you two talking about?
461
00:17:47,724 --> 00:17:49,224
Katie has something
she needs to tell you.
462
00:17:49,326 --> 00:17:50,658
Okay, Greg, you can leave.
463
00:17:50,727 --> 00:17:53,161
This is a sensitive
mother-daughter conversation,
464
00:17:53,230 --> 00:17:54,863
and she needs to hear it from me.
465
00:17:54,965 --> 00:17:55,830
I understand.
466
00:17:55,932 --> 00:17:57,065
Kathryn, we didn't get the money.
467
00:17:57,167 --> 00:17:58,333
Greg, I was gonna do it!
468
00:17:58,435 --> 00:18:00,034
- No, you weren't.
- I know.
469
00:18:01,905 --> 00:18:02,904
You lied to me?
470
00:18:02,973 --> 00:18:04,873
If I told you we didn't get the money,
471
00:18:04,975 --> 00:18:06,241
you would just leave,
472
00:18:06,309 --> 00:18:08,910
and I'm happy that
you're hanging out with me.
473
00:18:08,979 --> 00:18:10,745
You never did that
when I was growing up.
474
00:18:10,847 --> 00:18:15,283
And I hate to admit this...
but I like you.
475
00:18:15,385 --> 00:18:18,586
Oh, honey, I like you, too. I...
476
00:18:18,688 --> 00:18:19,888
Just sit down.
477
00:18:23,693 --> 00:18:27,562
Look, I know that I wasn't the
best mom to you kids growing up.
478
00:18:29,466 --> 00:18:30,465
What?
479
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:31,733
Well, I was hoping maybe you'd jump in
480
00:18:31,801 --> 00:18:33,635
and correct me, but fine.
481
00:18:33,703 --> 00:18:37,005
Look, I was convinced
that no one was gonna
482
00:18:37,073 --> 00:18:40,008
take care of me
when I got older, so I...
483
00:18:40,110 --> 00:18:41,943
I latched on to Spencer.
484
00:18:41,978 --> 00:18:44,712
He was my safety net.
485
00:18:44,814 --> 00:18:47,315
And truth is, I was actually
very fond of him.
486
00:18:47,417 --> 00:18:49,250
Was it love?
487
00:18:49,352 --> 00:18:50,919
No.
488
00:18:51,021 --> 00:18:53,321
But we did have fun together.
489
00:18:53,423 --> 00:18:57,592
And now I... I don't have him anymore.
490
00:18:57,694 --> 00:19:01,496
Mom, I know it's not
a house on the water,
491
00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:05,300
but you always have a place
here with us.
492
00:19:05,402 --> 00:19:08,269
Thank you.
493
00:19:08,371 --> 00:19:11,606
We would've never had this moment
494
00:19:11,675 --> 00:19:13,374
if he would've given us the money.
495
00:19:13,476 --> 00:19:17,278
So I guess this is our inheritance.
496
00:19:17,380 --> 00:19:18,713
Yeah, but the money would've been nicer.
497
00:19:18,782 --> 00:19:20,515
- I miss it so much.
- Mm.
498
00:19:24,554 --> 00:19:26,921
I finally know what to do
with Spencer's ashes.
499
00:19:27,023 --> 00:19:30,158
He was my friend,
but he felt more like family.
500
00:19:30,260 --> 00:19:34,529
And like Spencer said,
"Family takes care of family."
501
00:19:34,631 --> 00:19:37,532
So I've decided that
he should stay with us.
502
00:19:37,601 --> 00:19:39,467
I think that's the way
he would've wanted it.
503
00:19:44,541 --> 00:19:45,773
Look!
504
00:19:45,875 --> 00:19:47,375
He's happy.
505
00:19:47,477 --> 00:19:50,878
We're not gonna be terrorized
by a very tan ghost.
506
00:19:52,916 --> 00:19:54,449
Good job.
507
00:19:54,551 --> 00:19:56,251
You did the right thing.
508
00:19:57,921 --> 00:19:58,987
What's this?
509
00:19:59,089 --> 00:20:01,923
It's your bill. You owe me $75,000.
510
00:20:04,027 --> 00:20:07,862
Never should've had you toss me
that apple for five grand.
511
00:20:10,908 --> 00:20:14,304
Oliver, Spencer recorded
some additional videos for you
512
00:20:14,364 --> 00:20:16,798
to give you advice for
milestones in your life,
513
00:20:16,859 --> 00:20:18,685
to let you know he's always there.
514
00:20:18,756 --> 00:20:21,056
This one is for
when you get into Harvard.
515
00:20:21,158 --> 00:20:24,259
This one is for when you make
your first million.
516
00:20:24,361 --> 00:20:26,562
This one is for when you get married.
517
00:20:26,664 --> 00:20:29,097
This one is for when
you get married again.
518
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:31,166
This one is how to hide your money
519
00:20:31,268 --> 00:20:32,701
when the Feds are on to you.
520
00:20:32,770 --> 00:20:36,738
And this one is just a VHS copy
of "9 1/2 Weeks."
521
00:20:36,841 --> 00:20:38,173
We'll hang on to that one.
522
00:20:38,275 --> 00:20:39,608
Well, that's everything.
523
00:20:39,710 --> 00:20:41,043
It was very nice meeting all of you.
524
00:20:41,111 --> 00:20:42,778
Linda, you have been great.
525
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:45,681
Do you have a card in case
we ever need to hire a lawyer?
526
00:20:45,783 --> 00:20:46,949
Sure.
527
00:20:47,051 --> 00:20:49,084
It's a $50,000 retainer,
528
00:20:49,186 --> 00:20:51,553
then $200 per hour plus expenses.
529
00:20:52,723 --> 00:20:54,489
We'll just call
the guy on the bus bench.
530
00:20:54,592 --> 00:20:55,824
Have a nice life.
531
00:20:55,848 --> 00:20:58,948
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.MY-SUBS.com