00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 Translated By The Community Of WWW.MY-SUBS.COM 1 00:00:01,945 --> 00:00:03,912 I cleaned out Spencer's fridge. 2 00:00:04,014 --> 00:00:06,281 I'm not saying there's a correlation to his death, 3 00:00:06,383 --> 00:00:07,982 but dude drank a lot of Tab. 4 00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:09,450 His lawyer will be here any minute. 5 00:00:09,519 --> 00:00:14,155 When I inherit this place, I'm gonna hire a staff. 6 00:00:14,257 --> 00:00:16,758 What makes you think you're inheriting Spencer's fortune? 7 00:00:16,860 --> 00:00:18,793 Why else would his lawyer want to meet with me? 8 00:00:18,862 --> 00:00:23,464 Face it... I'm Spencer's sole heir, and now this is all mine. 9 00:00:24,568 --> 00:00:26,367 I'm rich! 10 00:00:26,469 --> 00:00:28,369 I'm gonna raise these ceilings 11 00:00:28,471 --> 00:00:30,939 so I hear more of an echo when I scream that. 12 00:00:31,007 --> 00:00:33,007 Being rich will be so much fun. 13 00:00:33,109 --> 00:00:34,694 Pump your brakes, blondie. 14 00:00:34,789 --> 00:00:36,489 I'm rich, not you. 15 00:00:36,599 --> 00:00:38,925 You want money, earn it like I did. 16 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:40,059 You didn't earn it. 17 00:00:40,161 --> 00:00:42,028 You got it for being nice to some old rich guy. 18 00:00:42,130 --> 00:00:43,696 Trust me. You'll get there. 19 00:00:45,100 --> 00:00:46,432 What if Oliver's right? 20 00:00:46,468 --> 00:00:48,735 What if Spencer did leave him everything? 21 00:00:48,837 --> 00:00:50,470 Money ruins people. 22 00:00:50,538 --> 00:00:54,707 Here's the Venn diagram of rich people and jerks. 23 00:00:54,776 --> 00:00:56,809 It's one circle. 24 00:00:56,878 --> 00:00:57,910 Greg! 25 00:00:58,013 --> 00:01:00,680 I'm using "Venn diagram" in context. 26 00:01:00,782 --> 00:01:02,415 This used to get you aroused. 27 00:01:02,517 --> 00:01:03,483 Sorry, I'm fine-tuning 28 00:01:03,551 --> 00:01:04,817 my presentation for the tenure board. 29 00:01:04,886 --> 00:01:06,819 This could make or break my career. 30 00:01:06,888 --> 00:01:08,154 Tell me what sounds better. 31 00:01:08,256 --> 00:01:09,722 "Greetings." 32 00:01:09,824 --> 00:01:11,891 - Mm-hmm. - Or... 33 00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:14,661 "Good afternoon"? 34 00:01:14,729 --> 00:01:16,529 It all depends whether I want to be funny or not. 35 00:01:16,598 --> 00:01:17,730 Mm-hmm. 36 00:01:17,799 --> 00:01:20,366 Finally, the lawyer's here. 37 00:01:23,271 --> 00:01:24,871 Snack bar's open. 38 00:01:24,973 --> 00:01:26,973 - Grandma? - Oliver! 39 00:01:27,075 --> 00:01:29,666 Thank God I didn't go topless. 40 00:01:30,934 --> 00:01:35,848 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.MY-SUBS.com 41 00:01:35,950 --> 00:01:39,752 Or I could say, "Good afternoon." 42 00:01:39,854 --> 00:01:41,454 Why is "good afternoon" funny? 43 00:01:41,523 --> 00:01:44,524 Because, you know, it's... it's like... 44 00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:46,192 Oh, crap. 45 00:01:46,294 --> 00:01:48,194 I just can't believe he's gone. 46 00:01:48,296 --> 00:01:50,797 We had plans. We were gonna travel together. 47 00:01:50,865 --> 00:01:53,299 The last text he sent me was, 48 00:01:53,401 --> 00:01:55,301 "Let's see London, let's see France, 49 00:01:55,403 --> 00:01:57,236 I want to see your... 50 00:01:57,339 --> 00:01:58,404 underpants." 51 00:01:58,506 --> 00:02:01,174 Oh, God, he was so funny. Just... 52 00:02:01,276 --> 00:02:03,609 I'm gonna miss him. 53 00:02:03,712 --> 00:02:05,945 Mom, why didn't you tell me you were coming to Westport? 54 00:02:06,047 --> 00:02:07,313 Well, I wasn't coming to see you. 55 00:02:07,415 --> 00:02:09,882 I had a scheduled rendezvous with Spencer. 56 00:02:09,984 --> 00:02:12,051 So how long has this been going on, 57 00:02:12,153 --> 00:02:13,219 you sneaking into town 58 00:02:13,321 --> 00:02:15,221 dressed as a partially deflated blow-up doll? 59 00:02:15,323 --> 00:02:16,522 Since Thanksgiving, 60 00:02:16,624 --> 00:02:19,559 I'd come to Westport every now and again for a little... 61 00:02:21,463 --> 00:02:22,795 ...grown-up hugging. 62 00:02:22,897 --> 00:02:25,131 I got it. 63 00:02:25,233 --> 00:02:28,034 So, exactly how many times has my own mother been next door 64 00:02:28,136 --> 00:02:29,369 and not bothered to tell me? 65 00:02:29,471 --> 00:02:32,638 Um, once in December, a couple times in January, 66 00:02:32,741 --> 00:02:35,274 and I guess the last time was the 18th. 67 00:02:35,343 --> 00:02:36,409 The 18th? 68 00:02:36,478 --> 00:02:37,443 You mean my birthday? 69 00:02:37,545 --> 00:02:39,412 Oh! I guess that's right. 70 00:02:39,514 --> 00:02:40,813 Um, happy birthday, sweetie. 71 00:02:43,151 --> 00:02:46,919 Everyone, this is Spencer's attorney, Linda Ramirez. 72 00:02:47,021 --> 00:02:48,688 Hi. I'm Katie. 73 00:02:48,790 --> 00:02:50,490 - This is my husband, Greg. - Hi. 74 00:02:50,592 --> 00:02:52,425 And I'm Kathryn, Spencer's lover. 75 00:02:52,527 --> 00:02:54,761 You also could've just said you were my mom. 76 00:02:54,829 --> 00:02:56,996 I was going with my more impressive credit. 77 00:02:57,098 --> 00:03:00,400 Nice meeting everyone, especially you, Oliver. 78 00:03:00,502 --> 00:03:01,701 Spencer made it very clear that, 79 00:03:01,803 --> 00:03:04,270 in case of his untimely demise, 80 00:03:04,339 --> 00:03:06,005 he wanted to give you this. 81 00:03:09,110 --> 00:03:10,243 His ashes? 82 00:03:10,345 --> 00:03:12,311 Yes. And he specifically indicated, 83 00:03:12,414 --> 00:03:13,913 "He'll know what to do with them." 84 00:03:14,015 --> 00:03:16,582 Crumpled-up dead guy? Lucky. 85 00:03:16,776 --> 00:03:17,976 This is actually a relief. 86 00:03:18,078 --> 00:03:20,678 We were afraid that Oliver was named in Spencer's will. 87 00:03:20,780 --> 00:03:21,946 Oh, he is. 88 00:03:22,048 --> 00:03:22,947 - He is? - Mm. 89 00:03:23,049 --> 00:03:24,148 - I am? - Mm-hmm. 90 00:03:24,217 --> 00:03:26,484 Do I happen to be in the will? 91 00:03:26,586 --> 00:03:27,785 That's Kathryn with a Y. 92 00:03:27,888 --> 00:03:28,753 No, ma'am. 93 00:03:28,855 --> 00:03:30,788 Oh. Well, I'm out of here. 94 00:03:32,292 --> 00:03:33,725 But you two are in the will, as well. 95 00:03:33,827 --> 00:03:35,126 - Us? - Them? 96 00:03:35,195 --> 00:03:37,529 Yes. We'll schedule a viewing in the next day or two. 97 00:03:37,631 --> 00:03:39,531 - A viewing? - It's a video will. 98 00:03:39,633 --> 00:03:40,765 Oh, that man. 99 00:03:40,834 --> 00:03:42,333 He loved to record everything. 100 00:03:42,435 --> 00:03:44,402 Ugh! 101 00:03:46,773 --> 00:03:48,873 So, what are you gonna do with Spencer's ashes? 102 00:03:48,942 --> 00:03:50,542 I decided to spread them in his motor court. 103 00:03:50,644 --> 00:03:52,777 Why would Spencer want a driveway to be 104 00:03:52,879 --> 00:03:54,178 his final resting place? 105 00:03:54,247 --> 00:03:57,515 Because he loved cars and it's where we first met 106 00:03:57,584 --> 00:03:59,784 and... it's right across the street. 107 00:03:59,886 --> 00:04:00,885 You can't just phone this in 108 00:04:00,987 --> 00:04:02,086 because you don't know what to do. 109 00:04:02,188 --> 00:04:03,288 Spencer was your friend. 110 00:04:03,390 --> 00:04:06,090 Yeah. If you disrespect the dead, they'll haunt you. 111 00:04:06,192 --> 00:04:07,892 Spencer isn't gonna haunt us. 112 00:04:07,994 --> 00:04:09,694 He doesn't care where his ashes are. 113 00:04:09,796 --> 00:04:10,995 I'm doing it. 114 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:15,833 Spencer's spirit. 115 00:04:15,869 --> 00:04:17,835 He's communicating that he is not on board 116 00:04:17,938 --> 00:04:19,771 with your stupid driveway scheme. 117 00:04:19,873 --> 00:04:22,240 I'm not saying you're right, but what else am I supposed to do? 118 00:04:22,342 --> 00:04:24,142 He said I would know, but I don't. 119 00:04:24,177 --> 00:04:25,977 I think I know how to figure out what he'd want. 120 00:04:26,079 --> 00:04:27,145 Great. How? 121 00:04:27,213 --> 00:04:28,713 It'll cost you $20,000. 122 00:04:28,815 --> 00:04:30,648 $20,000 to hear your dumb idea? 123 00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:32,350 When you inherit Spencer's millions, 124 00:04:32,452 --> 00:04:33,718 20 grand will be nothing. 125 00:04:33,820 --> 00:04:36,020 Fine. What is it? 126 00:04:36,089 --> 00:04:37,589 Ask someone who knew Spencer. 127 00:04:37,691 --> 00:04:39,657 Talk to his old cellmate from federal prison. 128 00:04:39,726 --> 00:04:42,160 That's actually a good idea. 129 00:04:42,228 --> 00:04:43,161 I can drive you there. 130 00:04:43,263 --> 00:04:45,263 - Thanks. - For another $20,000. 131 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:48,132 And a pony for the kid. 132 00:04:51,638 --> 00:04:54,906 What if Spencer did leave us his fortune and we're rich? 133 00:04:55,008 --> 00:04:57,675 I'm not sure that would be good, because money changes people. 134 00:04:57,744 --> 00:05:00,912 Ah. My two favorite people in my favorite place. 135 00:05:01,014 --> 00:05:02,580 The Lord's blessings are many. 136 00:05:02,682 --> 00:05:03,948 What are you doing here? 137 00:05:04,050 --> 00:05:05,083 I thought you were leaving? 138 00:05:05,185 --> 00:05:06,050 Well, I thought that I'd stay 139 00:05:06,152 --> 00:05:07,986 and take care of my "Katie-cakes." 140 00:05:08,088 --> 00:05:11,389 Now, I did the laundry, and now I'm gonna go fluff your pillows. 141 00:05:14,227 --> 00:05:16,027 This is exactly what I'm talking about. 142 00:05:16,129 --> 00:05:18,596 Money changes people. She's being nice. 143 00:05:18,665 --> 00:05:20,498 Good God! I hope "Dateline" doesn't hear about this. 144 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:22,233 She's finally becoming the mom she never was 145 00:05:22,335 --> 00:05:23,668 just to get into my pocketbook. 146 00:05:23,770 --> 00:05:25,703 Katie, can we talk about this after my presentation? 147 00:05:25,805 --> 00:05:27,405 Fine. Do you want to practice it on me? 148 00:05:27,507 --> 00:05:29,474 No. You always interrupt me, yelling "Freebird." 149 00:05:29,576 --> 00:05:31,542 You're never gonna make it if you can't handle hecklers. 150 00:05:31,645 --> 00:05:32,877 What else can I do for you? 151 00:05:32,979 --> 00:05:34,779 Nothing. I'm good. 152 00:05:34,881 --> 00:05:37,248 I don't need any help from her. Sell it someplace else, lady. 153 00:05:37,317 --> 00:05:41,185 How about you go and sit on the couch and watch TV 154 00:05:41,287 --> 00:05:44,055 and I will make you a grilled cheese sandwich? 155 00:05:44,157 --> 00:05:46,824 Thanks, Mommy. 156 00:05:46,893 --> 00:05:49,027 It's hard to stick to your principles on an empty stomach. 157 00:05:55,749 --> 00:05:58,134 And just the idea of inheriting money from Spencer 158 00:05:58,236 --> 00:05:59,970 is already screwing with my family. 159 00:06:00,038 --> 00:06:02,572 Oliver officially has dollar signs for eyeballs, 160 00:06:02,664 --> 00:06:04,074 and now that she thinks we're about to be rich, 161 00:06:04,176 --> 00:06:05,875 my mother is acting like the mom 162 00:06:05,944 --> 00:06:07,877 from every Children's TYLENOL commercial. 163 00:06:07,913 --> 00:06:10,103 Ooh, rich Katie. I can't wait. 164 00:06:10,189 --> 00:06:11,275 What are you gonna buy first? 165 00:06:11,338 --> 00:06:13,283 I have a thought... get a replacement for that top. 166 00:06:13,352 --> 00:06:16,619 Hey! I got this from the fancy section at Marshall's. 167 00:06:16,688 --> 00:06:18,388 I know it was fancy because all the clothes 168 00:06:18,490 --> 00:06:20,006 had those plastic alarm thingies. 169 00:06:20,099 --> 00:06:22,425 Look, I may not have a lot of extra money to burn, 170 00:06:22,494 --> 00:06:24,685 but I actually like the way we live. 171 00:06:24,764 --> 00:06:27,095 Katie, I've been rich, and I've been poor, 172 00:06:27,164 --> 00:06:28,930 and, trust me, rich is better. 173 00:06:28,999 --> 00:06:30,232 Yeah, I've never been poor, 174 00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:32,300 but from those ads I see about feeding kids 175 00:06:32,369 --> 00:06:34,236 for the price of a cup of coffee a day, 176 00:06:34,271 --> 00:06:35,971 it definitely seems like it sucks. 177 00:06:36,006 --> 00:06:38,607 I don't want money to ruin my kids. 178 00:06:38,675 --> 00:06:39,841 No matter how much money you have, 179 00:06:39,943 --> 00:06:42,010 you can always teach your kids good values. 180 00:06:42,112 --> 00:06:43,211 Angela's right. 181 00:06:43,313 --> 00:06:44,913 To keep my kids from getting spoiled, once a week, 182 00:06:44,982 --> 00:06:46,681 I replace the sandwiches in their lunch bag 183 00:06:46,784 --> 00:06:48,950 with a note that says "Oops." 184 00:06:49,019 --> 00:06:51,086 Doris, do you ever worry that one of your kids 185 00:06:51,155 --> 00:06:54,189 might someday... I don't know... kill you? 186 00:06:54,258 --> 00:06:55,690 It's crossed my mind. 187 00:06:55,759 --> 00:06:58,026 There is a big upside to having money. 188 00:06:58,128 --> 00:07:01,063 Imagine going to the supermarket and not checking prices. 189 00:07:01,165 --> 00:07:02,631 - Mm. - You could buy anything you want. 190 00:07:02,733 --> 00:07:05,500 And at the movies, you can buy snacks there 191 00:07:05,569 --> 00:07:06,735 instead of filling your pockets 192 00:07:06,804 --> 00:07:08,170 with everything you have in your house. 193 00:07:08,272 --> 00:07:09,438 I've always wanted to do that. 194 00:07:09,506 --> 00:07:10,872 And you can get your car washed. 195 00:07:10,941 --> 00:07:12,140 I get my car washed. 196 00:07:12,209 --> 00:07:14,142 Mnh-mnh, you can have other people wash your car. 197 00:07:14,211 --> 00:07:15,477 No one likes driving by 198 00:07:15,579 --> 00:07:16,878 and seeing Greg in a tank top. 199 00:07:16,947 --> 00:07:18,947 Speak for yourself. 200 00:07:26,490 --> 00:07:28,490 Nice shot. 201 00:07:28,592 --> 00:07:30,725 There you go. 202 00:07:30,794 --> 00:07:33,161 Mr. Danfield is almost done with his golf lesson. 203 00:07:33,263 --> 00:07:34,996 Just have a seat. 204 00:07:38,402 --> 00:07:40,268 This prison is incredible. 205 00:07:40,337 --> 00:07:43,205 Steely Dan is playing this weekend. 206 00:07:43,307 --> 00:07:44,706 I see why he loved it here. 207 00:07:44,808 --> 00:07:47,309 Wait a minute. This is the place. 208 00:07:47,377 --> 00:07:49,711 This is where Spencer wants me to spread his ashes. 209 00:07:49,813 --> 00:07:52,547 You really think Spencer wants to spend eternity in prison? 210 00:07:52,649 --> 00:07:53,815 Everyone who gets paroled from here 211 00:07:53,917 --> 00:07:55,750 holds a special place in their heart for Allenwood. 212 00:07:55,853 --> 00:07:57,586 They have the highest alumni-giving rate 213 00:07:57,688 --> 00:07:58,753 of all prisons. 214 00:07:58,856 --> 00:07:59,955 This is definitely it. 215 00:08:00,057 --> 00:08:01,656 Fore! 216 00:08:03,026 --> 00:08:05,694 I'd say that's a hard no from Spencer. 217 00:08:05,796 --> 00:08:07,796 Sorry. My hands are slippery. 218 00:08:07,865 --> 00:08:10,732 It's that new shea-butter hand lotion they have at the spa. 219 00:08:10,834 --> 00:08:12,734 Sorry to keep you waiting. 220 00:08:12,836 --> 00:08:14,169 I'm Reginald. 221 00:08:14,271 --> 00:08:15,670 You must be Oliver. 222 00:08:15,739 --> 00:08:17,239 Nice to meet you. 223 00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:18,206 Wait. 224 00:08:18,308 --> 00:08:19,441 This is Oliver? 225 00:08:19,543 --> 00:08:21,109 Spencer's Oliver? 226 00:08:21,177 --> 00:08:22,177 You know who I am? 227 00:08:22,246 --> 00:08:23,478 Nice to meet you. 228 00:08:24,781 --> 00:08:27,115 Spencer would Skype in once a week to catch up, 229 00:08:27,184 --> 00:08:29,084 loved telling about the kid next door 230 00:08:29,153 --> 00:08:31,520 who cared more about money than he did about people. 231 00:08:31,622 --> 00:08:32,487 Aww! 232 00:08:32,589 --> 00:08:34,022 Sorry to hear about his passing. 233 00:08:34,124 --> 00:08:35,557 Me too. 234 00:08:35,626 --> 00:08:37,125 Spencer left me in charge of his ashes, 235 00:08:37,194 --> 00:08:38,460 and I'm not sure what to do with them. 236 00:08:38,562 --> 00:08:39,561 We thought you might know. 237 00:08:39,630 --> 00:08:40,862 Well, you know Spencer's favorite place 238 00:08:40,964 --> 00:08:41,930 in the entire world? 239 00:08:42,032 --> 00:08:43,999 - His driveway? - Hawaii. 240 00:08:44,101 --> 00:08:48,503 It goes Oahu, Lanai, Maui, this place, Kauai. 241 00:08:48,605 --> 00:08:49,938 Hawaii. 242 00:08:49,973 --> 00:08:52,374 He loved it there, and he never got the chance to make it back. 243 00:08:52,476 --> 00:08:53,475 That's perfect. 244 00:08:53,577 --> 00:08:56,645 Hey, you. Time's up. Let's go. 245 00:08:56,713 --> 00:08:58,346 You don't want to be late for your scuba certification. 246 00:08:58,415 --> 00:09:00,549 Right. We're not allowed on the Aruba trip 247 00:09:00,617 --> 00:09:02,450 unless we're fully prepared. 248 00:09:02,519 --> 00:09:04,186 Prison. 249 00:09:04,254 --> 00:09:06,721 Taylor, thanks. 250 00:09:06,790 --> 00:09:08,590 That really was a $20,000 idea. 251 00:09:08,659 --> 00:09:09,691 Glad I could help. 252 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:10,659 Let's go home. 253 00:09:10,727 --> 00:09:11,860 Oh. 254 00:09:11,962 --> 00:09:13,528 You want a ride home, too? 255 00:09:13,630 --> 00:09:15,063 That will be $30,000. 256 00:09:15,132 --> 00:09:16,998 It was only $20,000 to take me here. 257 00:09:17,067 --> 00:09:18,366 Surge pricing. 258 00:09:21,638 --> 00:09:25,340 So, I was talking to Doris and Angela about Spencer's will, 259 00:09:25,442 --> 00:09:26,575 and I had a thought. 260 00:09:26,610 --> 00:09:29,444 What if being rich is a good thing? 261 00:09:29,546 --> 00:09:30,946 I thought you said money changes people? 262 00:09:31,014 --> 00:09:33,381 Or what if it changes our lives for the better? 263 00:09:33,450 --> 00:09:35,784 With Spencer's inheritance, I can manipulate my mother 264 00:09:35,852 --> 00:09:37,953 into being the mom I've always wanted. 265 00:09:38,021 --> 00:09:39,387 Mm. Healthy. 266 00:09:39,489 --> 00:09:40,889 And you can stop worrying about tenure. 267 00:09:40,991 --> 00:09:42,023 I don't follow. 268 00:09:42,092 --> 00:09:43,992 You're the best history professor they have. 269 00:09:44,061 --> 00:09:45,860 You're a published author, your students love you, 270 00:09:45,963 --> 00:09:47,896 and when you're rich, you don't have to work. 271 00:09:47,998 --> 00:09:50,165 Screw the tenure. The pressure's off. 272 00:09:50,267 --> 00:09:52,801 I hadn't thought of that. 273 00:09:52,869 --> 00:09:54,636 You have all the power. 274 00:09:54,705 --> 00:09:56,972 You're right. 275 00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:58,440 I don't have to be nervous for this meeting. 276 00:09:58,542 --> 00:10:00,108 I can go in there, do whatever I want! 277 00:10:00,210 --> 00:10:01,743 You're the top dog, dawg! 278 00:10:01,845 --> 00:10:03,912 Woof, woof, woof, woof! 279 00:10:06,450 --> 00:10:07,482 Please don't say anything. 280 00:10:13,323 --> 00:10:14,689 This is so sweet. 281 00:10:14,791 --> 00:10:16,591 It feels like something the Branch Davidians would do 282 00:10:16,693 --> 00:10:17,892 before the Rapture. 283 00:10:17,995 --> 00:10:19,227 But still sweet. 284 00:10:19,329 --> 00:10:20,228 Morning. 285 00:10:20,297 --> 00:10:21,529 Morning. 286 00:10:21,598 --> 00:10:23,164 I made breakfast for everyone. 287 00:10:23,267 --> 00:10:24,366 Yours is on the counter. 288 00:10:24,468 --> 00:10:27,202 Watch this... inheritance at work. 289 00:10:27,304 --> 00:10:29,004 This is great, but I like it 290 00:10:29,106 --> 00:10:30,972 when the waffle smiles back at me. 291 00:10:31,041 --> 00:10:32,440 Oh, I can do that. 292 00:10:35,045 --> 00:10:35,977 Thanks. 293 00:10:36,079 --> 00:10:37,545 I got to run to the grocery store. 294 00:10:37,648 --> 00:10:40,081 I hope I can get back before Spencer's will viewing. 295 00:10:40,117 --> 00:10:42,417 I don't want you rushing. That's how accidents happen. 296 00:10:42,486 --> 00:10:45,353 No, you stay home, and I'll go to the store. 297 00:10:45,455 --> 00:10:47,188 Also, the gutters are disgusting. 298 00:10:47,291 --> 00:10:48,290 We don't have a ladder, 299 00:10:48,358 --> 00:10:50,091 but I'm sure you'll figure it out. 300 00:10:58,769 --> 00:11:00,135 Hey, Dr. Paulson. 301 00:11:00,237 --> 00:11:01,836 Professor Otto, you're five minutes late. 302 00:11:01,938 --> 00:11:03,438 Well, I meant to be 10 minutes late, 303 00:11:03,507 --> 00:11:05,874 so looks like I got some time to kill. 304 00:11:05,976 --> 00:11:08,276 Well, when you've finished helping yourself 305 00:11:08,345 --> 00:11:10,045 to our beverages, why don't you have a seat? 306 00:11:10,147 --> 00:11:11,680 You got it, big guy. 307 00:11:11,782 --> 00:11:12,847 No net for the lemon? 308 00:11:12,949 --> 00:11:14,449 No? 309 00:11:14,551 --> 00:11:16,318 I'll make do. 310 00:11:16,420 --> 00:11:18,553 So... what's up? 311 00:11:20,791 --> 00:11:22,257 Tell us, Professor Otto, 312 00:11:22,326 --> 00:11:25,393 what do you have to offer the university, 313 00:11:25,495 --> 00:11:26,828 should you be awarded tenure? 314 00:11:26,897 --> 00:11:29,197 You know, I don't teach because I have to. 315 00:11:29,299 --> 00:11:31,399 I teach because I want to. 316 00:11:31,468 --> 00:11:34,035 A lot of schools want to put a ring on this finger, 317 00:11:34,137 --> 00:11:35,970 so maybe you should be telling me why 318 00:11:36,039 --> 00:11:38,740 I should spend the best years of my career at this university. 319 00:11:38,842 --> 00:11:40,675 Oh, oh, don't answer right away. 320 00:11:40,777 --> 00:11:41,843 Think about it. 321 00:11:41,945 --> 00:11:43,945 Get back to me. Or don't. 322 00:11:44,047 --> 00:11:45,714 Professor, the board would like to know 323 00:11:45,816 --> 00:11:47,282 what we can expect from you 324 00:11:47,384 --> 00:11:51,119 in terms of potential grants, published works, 325 00:11:51,221 --> 00:11:52,454 speaking engagements. 326 00:11:52,556 --> 00:11:55,290 You know, I could sit and list my accomplishments, 327 00:11:55,392 --> 00:11:58,226 but if you really want to know what's under my hood... 328 00:12:00,764 --> 00:12:02,964 Here's my book. 329 00:12:04,701 --> 00:12:05,834 Check out the author photo 330 00:12:05,936 --> 00:12:07,869 and resist the temptation to swipe right. 331 00:12:07,971 --> 00:12:12,073 Now, if you'll excuse me, teacher's got to teach. 332 00:12:12,109 --> 00:12:14,509 Professor Otto, this is highly irregular. 333 00:12:14,611 --> 00:12:16,845 Oh, God, I am so sorry. 334 00:12:20,751 --> 00:12:25,720 "Dear Jimmy, too many inside jokes to name. 335 00:12:25,822 --> 00:12:29,290 Have a bitchin' summer... Greg." 336 00:12:35,766 --> 00:12:36,765 What's up? 337 00:12:43,740 --> 00:12:45,306 - Hey, guys. - Finally, you're here. 338 00:12:45,375 --> 00:12:47,275 - How'd the meeting go? - Don't know, don't care. 339 00:12:47,377 --> 00:12:48,676 May start my own college. 340 00:12:48,745 --> 00:12:49,978 Ooh, can I be dean? 341 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:51,146 I'll show up at the frat parties, 342 00:12:51,214 --> 00:12:53,114 and everyone will think I'm there to shut it down, 343 00:12:53,216 --> 00:12:55,483 but really I'm there to turn it all the way up. 344 00:12:56,987 --> 00:12:59,187 Oh, sorry we had to meet here, but the VCR I bought on eBay 345 00:12:59,289 --> 00:13:01,222 had a copy of "Captain Ron" jammed in it. 346 00:13:01,324 --> 00:13:03,725 Hello, Ottos. 347 00:13:03,827 --> 00:13:06,828 If you're watching this, it means I'm dead. 348 00:13:06,863 --> 00:13:10,131 Or at least, everyone thinks I'm dead. 349 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:11,266 Turn around. 350 00:13:14,037 --> 00:13:15,570 Gotcha! 351 00:13:17,107 --> 00:13:18,973 Nope, I'm dead. 352 00:13:19,042 --> 00:13:21,776 All that diet soda has finally caught up with me. 353 00:13:21,878 --> 00:13:24,679 - Yeah. - You are a fantastic family 354 00:13:24,781 --> 00:13:27,348 who welcomed me into your home with open arms, 355 00:13:27,451 --> 00:13:28,850 especially you, Oliver. 356 00:13:28,952 --> 00:13:32,754 And that's why I've decided to leave my entire estate 357 00:13:32,823 --> 00:13:34,956 and fortune to you and your parents. 358 00:13:35,058 --> 00:13:37,725 So enjoy being in the 1%. 359 00:13:39,930 --> 00:13:41,563 We're rich! 360 00:13:41,698 --> 00:13:44,399 From now on, we only shop at Whole Foods! 361 00:13:44,468 --> 00:13:46,989 I'm gonna buy those $20 candy bars by the register. 362 00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:49,404 - There's more. - Oh, there's more. Greg, there's more! 363 00:13:49,506 --> 00:13:50,605 There's more. 364 00:13:50,707 --> 00:13:52,407 Hello, Oliver. 365 00:13:52,476 --> 00:13:53,875 I've slept on it, 366 00:13:53,977 --> 00:13:56,444 and I thought of something even better to leave you... 367 00:13:56,546 --> 00:13:58,046 - nothing. - What? 368 00:13:58,148 --> 00:14:00,982 I have no doubt you'll be wildly successful. 369 00:14:01,084 --> 00:14:02,417 There's nothing like the feeling of 370 00:14:02,519 --> 00:14:04,085 earning your first million. 371 00:14:04,187 --> 00:14:06,488 Ollie boy, I could never forgive myself 372 00:14:06,590 --> 00:14:08,089 if I robbed you of that. 373 00:14:08,158 --> 00:14:09,858 I am so sorry, Oliver. 374 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:11,459 You can come to the college I'm starting. 375 00:14:11,561 --> 00:14:13,928 Katie and Greg, my father always said, 376 00:14:14,030 --> 00:14:17,866 "Family takes care of family," and I want to take care of you. 377 00:14:17,968 --> 00:14:20,368 A prince. This man was a prince. 378 00:14:20,470 --> 00:14:22,604 So you also get nothing. 379 00:14:22,706 --> 00:14:23,972 A prince of [bleep]. 380 00:14:24,074 --> 00:14:26,107 I've seen money tear families apart, 381 00:14:26,209 --> 00:14:29,711 and I can't risk ruining the best family I know. 382 00:14:29,813 --> 00:14:31,513 Linda, I don't know what he's talking about. 383 00:14:31,615 --> 00:14:33,681 We're a terrible family. I hate these people. 384 00:14:33,783 --> 00:14:35,450 Oh, wait, wait, wait, there's more. 385 00:14:35,552 --> 00:14:38,086 - Maybe he changed his mind again. - ♪ 99 Luftballoons ♪ 386 00:14:38,188 --> 00:14:41,089 ♪ ♪ Auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont ♪ 387 00:14:41,191 --> 00:14:42,557 Spencer was a big fan of 388 00:14:42,659 --> 00:14:44,225 videotaping himself doing karaoke. 389 00:14:44,327 --> 00:14:45,460 You'd think for a multi-millionaire, 390 00:14:45,562 --> 00:14:47,362 he wouldn't reuse the same tapes. 391 00:14:47,464 --> 00:14:49,464 - Yes, Spencer, yes! - Grandma? 392 00:14:49,566 --> 00:14:51,799 - Oh, that's the stuff. - Keep your voice down. 393 00:14:51,902 --> 00:14:52,967 I don't want my daughter to know 394 00:14:53,069 --> 00:14:54,302 I'm in town on her birthday. 395 00:14:54,404 --> 00:14:55,837 Ugh... 396 00:14:57,847 --> 00:15:00,675 This is so depressing. 397 00:15:00,746 --> 00:15:03,180 Our rented house, our dented car, 398 00:15:03,282 --> 00:15:05,754 that dress shirt I bought you at the hardware store... 399 00:15:05,825 --> 00:15:07,992 Spencer had us thinking we were gonna be rich. 400 00:15:08,094 --> 00:15:09,270 Why aren't you upset? 401 00:15:09,348 --> 00:15:11,426 All you care about it money and you just lost millions. 402 00:15:11,473 --> 00:15:13,473 Because Spencer believed in me. 403 00:15:13,536 --> 00:15:15,046 I'll make it on my own. 404 00:15:15,109 --> 00:15:16,409 It'll mean more that way. 405 00:15:19,614 --> 00:15:20,646 Wow. 406 00:15:20,748 --> 00:15:22,248 I know. 407 00:15:22,350 --> 00:15:23,937 When Oliver makes you want to be a better person, 408 00:15:23,976 --> 00:15:25,351 you know you're in a bad place. 409 00:15:25,453 --> 00:15:27,920 I guess you better go in and tell your mom what happened. 410 00:15:27,989 --> 00:15:30,289 Now you can't bribe your stupid mother into loving you anymore. 411 00:15:30,358 --> 00:15:31,590 And you've got to go to Dr. Paulson 412 00:15:31,693 --> 00:15:33,459 and beg for your stupid job back. 413 00:15:33,561 --> 00:15:36,122 Got to be nicer ways we could talk to each other. 414 00:15:41,069 --> 00:15:42,635 Oh, my God, Mom! 415 00:15:42,737 --> 00:15:45,538 The house is so clean. 416 00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:47,840 And you made a crown roast of lamb. 417 00:15:47,909 --> 00:15:52,445 So, tell me, how did the will reading go? 418 00:15:55,416 --> 00:15:57,116 We got the money. 419 00:16:00,021 --> 00:16:00,987 Yeah! 420 00:16:08,863 --> 00:16:10,129 Dr. Paulson. 421 00:16:10,231 --> 00:16:12,131 Well, if it isn't Professor Otto, 422 00:16:12,233 --> 00:16:13,599 the talk of the tenure board. 423 00:16:13,668 --> 00:16:14,600 Good afternoon. 424 00:16:14,702 --> 00:16:16,168 This is no time for jokes. 425 00:16:16,270 --> 00:16:18,838 Never has anyone so brazenly 426 00:16:18,940 --> 00:16:21,007 cast aside the protocol of a tenure review. 427 00:16:21,109 --> 00:16:24,443 Your disruptive, cavalier attitude... 428 00:16:24,512 --> 00:16:27,313 - I can explain. - ...is what this history department needs. 429 00:16:27,415 --> 00:16:28,447 What? 430 00:16:28,549 --> 00:16:30,416 ...Ever. Whatever. 431 00:16:30,518 --> 00:16:32,151 You have been awarded tenure. 432 00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:36,151 - Yay! - Whoo! 433 00:16:36,219 --> 00:16:37,986 - Happy birthday! - Happy birthday! 434 00:16:38,055 --> 00:16:40,155 Oh. Are you serious? 435 00:16:40,223 --> 00:16:41,389 Absolutely. 436 00:16:41,458 --> 00:16:44,559 Everyone else was canned answers, nervous laughter. 437 00:16:44,628 --> 00:16:46,327 They could barely command a classroom, 438 00:16:46,396 --> 00:16:47,862 let alone a department. 439 00:16:47,964 --> 00:16:51,232 - Well... - You had confidence, gravitas. 440 00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:53,635 We're expecting big things from you. 441 00:16:53,703 --> 00:16:58,273 Oh, and here's your key card to the executive faculty lounge. 442 00:17:05,849 --> 00:17:07,148 Oh. 443 00:17:14,024 --> 00:17:15,056 How'd it go? 444 00:17:15,125 --> 00:17:17,158 It went great. I got tenure! 445 00:17:17,227 --> 00:17:20,562 I'm so happy for you! 446 00:17:20,597 --> 00:17:22,430 From now on, I don't need to be a nervous wreck all the time. 447 00:17:22,532 --> 00:17:23,865 How'd it go here? 448 00:17:23,967 --> 00:17:25,600 Also great. 449 00:17:25,702 --> 00:17:27,268 Katie, I found two houses 450 00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:29,070 right next to each other on the beach, 451 00:17:29,139 --> 00:17:30,472 so we can be together. 452 00:17:33,410 --> 00:17:34,309 You didn't tell her. 453 00:17:34,411 --> 00:17:36,144 So you got tenure! 454 00:17:36,179 --> 00:17:37,479 What's your endgame here? 455 00:17:37,581 --> 00:17:39,614 Eventually, she's gonna realize we're still poor people 456 00:17:39,716 --> 00:17:41,716 who are buying the manager's special discounted meat. 457 00:17:41,818 --> 00:17:43,218 That is perfectly good meat. 458 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:44,619 Expiration dates are a scam. 459 00:17:44,721 --> 00:17:46,254 Katie, you need to tell your mom the truth. 460 00:17:46,389 --> 00:17:47,655 So, what are you two talking about? 461 00:17:47,724 --> 00:17:49,224 Katie has something she needs to tell you. 462 00:17:49,326 --> 00:17:50,658 Okay, Greg, you can leave. 463 00:17:50,727 --> 00:17:53,161 This is a sensitive mother-daughter conversation, 464 00:17:53,230 --> 00:17:54,863 and she needs to hear it from me. 465 00:17:54,965 --> 00:17:55,830 I understand. 466 00:17:55,932 --> 00:17:57,065 Kathryn, we didn't get the money. 467 00:17:57,167 --> 00:17:58,333 Greg, I was gonna do it! 468 00:17:58,435 --> 00:18:00,034 - No, you weren't. - I know. 469 00:18:01,905 --> 00:18:02,904 You lied to me? 470 00:18:02,973 --> 00:18:04,873 If I told you we didn't get the money, 471 00:18:04,975 --> 00:18:06,241 you would just leave, 472 00:18:06,309 --> 00:18:08,910 and I'm happy that you're hanging out with me. 473 00:18:08,979 --> 00:18:10,745 You never did that when I was growing up. 474 00:18:10,847 --> 00:18:15,283 And I hate to admit this... but I like you. 475 00:18:15,385 --> 00:18:18,586 Oh, honey, I like you, too. I... 476 00:18:18,688 --> 00:18:19,888 Just sit down. 477 00:18:23,693 --> 00:18:27,562 Look, I know that I wasn't the best mom to you kids growing up. 478 00:18:29,466 --> 00:18:30,465 What? 479 00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:31,733 Well, I was hoping maybe you'd jump in 480 00:18:31,801 --> 00:18:33,635 and correct me, but fine. 481 00:18:33,703 --> 00:18:37,005 Look, I was convinced that no one was gonna 482 00:18:37,073 --> 00:18:40,008 take care of me when I got older, so I... 483 00:18:40,110 --> 00:18:41,943 I latched on to Spencer. 484 00:18:41,978 --> 00:18:44,712 He was my safety net. 485 00:18:44,814 --> 00:18:47,315 And truth is, I was actually very fond of him. 486 00:18:47,417 --> 00:18:49,250 Was it love? 487 00:18:49,352 --> 00:18:50,919 No. 488 00:18:51,021 --> 00:18:53,321 But we did have fun together. 489 00:18:53,423 --> 00:18:57,592 And now I... I don't have him anymore. 490 00:18:57,694 --> 00:19:01,496 Mom, I know it's not a house on the water, 491 00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:05,300 but you always have a place here with us. 492 00:19:05,402 --> 00:19:08,269 Thank you. 493 00:19:08,371 --> 00:19:11,606 We would've never had this moment 494 00:19:11,675 --> 00:19:13,374 if he would've given us the money. 495 00:19:13,476 --> 00:19:17,278 So I guess this is our inheritance. 496 00:19:17,380 --> 00:19:18,713 Yeah, but the money would've been nicer. 497 00:19:18,782 --> 00:19:20,515 - I miss it so much. - Mm. 498 00:19:24,554 --> 00:19:26,921 I finally know what to do with Spencer's ashes. 499 00:19:27,023 --> 00:19:30,158 He was my friend, but he felt more like family. 500 00:19:30,260 --> 00:19:34,529 And like Spencer said, "Family takes care of family." 501 00:19:34,631 --> 00:19:37,532 So I've decided that he should stay with us. 502 00:19:37,601 --> 00:19:39,467 I think that's the way he would've wanted it. 503 00:19:44,541 --> 00:19:45,773 Look! 504 00:19:45,875 --> 00:19:47,375 He's happy. 505 00:19:47,477 --> 00:19:50,878 We're not gonna be terrorized by a very tan ghost. 506 00:19:52,916 --> 00:19:54,449 Good job. 507 00:19:54,551 --> 00:19:56,251 You did the right thing. 508 00:19:57,921 --> 00:19:58,987 What's this? 509 00:19:59,089 --> 00:20:01,923 It's your bill. You owe me $75,000. 510 00:20:04,027 --> 00:20:07,862 Never should've had you toss me that apple for five grand. 511 00:20:10,908 --> 00:20:14,304 Oliver, Spencer recorded some additional videos for you 512 00:20:14,364 --> 00:20:16,798 to give you advice for milestones in your life, 513 00:20:16,859 --> 00:20:18,685 to let you know he's always there. 514 00:20:18,756 --> 00:20:21,056 This one is for when you get into Harvard. 515 00:20:21,158 --> 00:20:24,259 This one is for when you make your first million. 516 00:20:24,361 --> 00:20:26,562 This one is for when you get married. 517 00:20:26,664 --> 00:20:29,097 This one is for when you get married again. 518 00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:31,166 This one is how to hide your money 519 00:20:31,268 --> 00:20:32,701 when the Feds are on to you. 520 00:20:32,770 --> 00:20:36,738 And this one is just a VHS copy of "9 1/2 Weeks." 521 00:20:36,841 --> 00:20:38,173 We'll hang on to that one. 522 00:20:38,275 --> 00:20:39,608 Well, that's everything. 523 00:20:39,710 --> 00:20:41,043 It was very nice meeting all of you. 524 00:20:41,111 --> 00:20:42,778 Linda, you have been great. 525 00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:45,681 Do you have a card in case we ever need to hire a lawyer? 526 00:20:45,783 --> 00:20:46,949 Sure. 527 00:20:47,051 --> 00:20:49,084 It's a $50,000 retainer, 528 00:20:49,186 --> 00:20:51,553 then $200 per hour plus expenses. 529 00:20:52,723 --> 00:20:54,489 We'll just call the guy on the bus bench. 530 00:20:54,592 --> 00:20:55,824 Have a nice life. 531 00:20:55,848 --> 00:20:58,948 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.MY-SUBS.com