00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 Translated By The Community Of WWW.MY-SUBS.COM 1 00:01:39,224 --> 00:01:42,398 This is Zero One Alpha. We have secured Falcon. 2 00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:45,613 I say again, we have secured Falcon. 3 00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:48,241 By the time I count to ten... 4 00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:50,536 ...you will have told me exactly what I need to know. 5 00:01:50,986 --> 00:01:51,986 If not... 6 00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:56,033 ...the number ten will be the last thing you will ever hear. 7 00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:57,241 One 8 00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:58,367 Two 9 00:01:58,368 --> 00:01:59,368 Three 10 00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:00,494 Four 11 00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:01,704 Five 12 00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:02,747 Six 13 00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:03,873 Seven 14 00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:04,542 Eight 15 00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:06,381 Grenade! Sir, get back! 16 00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,067 Shit. 17 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,270 Fucking missed it. 18 00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:26,901 How did I fucking miss it? 19 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:32,695 Merlin, I apologize for putting you in this position. 20 00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:34,408 You trained him well. 21 00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:36,952 James... 22 00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:41,208 training is over. 23 00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:44,456 Welcome to Kingsman. 24 00:02:44,956 --> 00:02:46,253 Lancelot. 25 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:47,417 Sir. 26 00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:54,762 I'll deal with this mess personally. 27 00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:02,937 I very much regret that your husband's bravery can't be publicly celebrated. 28 00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:04,392 I hope you understand. 29 00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:06,061 How can I understand? 30 00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:08,230 You won't tell me anything. 31 00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:11,609 I didn't even know he wasn't with his squad. 32 00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:13,015 I'm so sorry, I can't say more. 33 00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:16,451 But I would like to present you with this Medal of Valor... 34 00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:20,959 and if you look closely on the back, there's a number. 35 00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:23,829 And as a more concrete gesture of our gratitude... 36 00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:25,918 we'd like to offer you... 37 00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:28,462 Let's call it a favor. 38 00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,127 The nature of it is your choice. 39 00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:31,636 Just tell the operator... 40 00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:35,508 "oxfords not brogues," and then I'll know it's you. 41 00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:39,516 I don't want your help! 42 00:03:39,678 --> 00:03:42,101 I want my husband back! 43 00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:51,110 What's your name, young man? 44 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:52,690 Eggsy. 45 00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:54,117 Hello, Eggsy. 46 00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:56,532 Can I see that? 47 00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:05,294 You take care of this, Eggsy. 48 00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:07,665 All right? 49 00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:13,215 And take care of your mum, too. 50 00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:57,719 So sorry, Professor Arnold. Just a tiny bit more. 51 00:04:57,881 --> 00:05:00,384 For God's sakes, just rip it off. 52 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:04,100 I'm under very strict instructions not to hurt you. 53 00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:06,515 Look, you've made a mistake. 54 00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:09,434 I'm a university lecturer. I've got no money. 55 00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:11,069 This isn't about money. 56 00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:13,196 Our boss just wants to talk to you. 57 00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:15,281 Am I meant to find that reassuring? 58 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,568 He'll be here soon. He'll explain. 59 00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,362 Do you like whiskey? 60 00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:23,748 Red, get the '62 Dalmore. 61 00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:28,124 Honestly, this whiskey, it's amazing. 62 00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,251 You will shit. 63 00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:52,940 I suppose asking to borrow a cup of sugar is a step too far? 64 00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:19,805 Professor Arnold, I'm here to take you home. 65 00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:32,442 1962 Dalmore. 66 00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:34,694 It'd be a sin to spill any. 67 00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:36,814 Don't you think? 68 00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:19,697 Can you hold these? Please? 69 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:34,954 Thank you. 70 00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:43,554 Everything is clean. 71 00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:52,059 My kind of welcome. 72 00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:01,565 No stomach for violence. 73 00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:03,654 I mean, literally, I see one drop of blood... 74 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,740 that is me done. 75 00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:07,074 I'm like... 76 00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,580 projectile. 77 00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:10,911 Listen, I'm so sorry... 78 00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:16,456 you had to witness all this unpleasantness due to our uninvited guest. 79 00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:20,751 But I promise you, by the time I've found out who he works for... 80 00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:25,263 you and I will be the best of friends. 81 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,893 To the shop, please. 82 00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,523 Arthur's in the dining room, sir. 83 00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,008 Arthur. 84 00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:11,388 Galahad. 85 00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:16,265 The others were beginning to wonder if we were going to have a double toast. 86 00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:22,946 Gentlemen, I'm thankful to say it's been 17 years... 87 00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:25,482 since we last had occasion to use this decanter. 88 00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:30,783 Lancelot was an outstanding agent, and a true Kingsman. 89 00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:32,367 He will be sorely missed. 90 00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:34,912 To Lancelot. 91 00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:37,415 To Lancelot. 92 00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:46,462 I intend to start the selection process for Lancelot's replacement tomorrow. 93 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:49,176 I want each of you to propose a candidate... 94 00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:51,683 and have them report to UK HQ... 95 00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:54,011 no later than 9 p.m. GMT. 96 00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:55,636 Thank you. 97 00:09:58,014 --> 00:09:59,014 Merlin. 98 00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:01,518 Come in. 99 00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:04,570 Lancelot was investigating a group of mercenaries... 100 00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:07,448 who were experimenting with biological weaponry. 101 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:08,687 Glasses, gentlemen, please. 102 00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,621 Uganda, 2012. 103 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:15,282 Synthetic cathinones. 104 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:18,873 They put it in the water supply of a guerrilla army base. 105 00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:22,289 Rage, cannibalism, multiple fatalities. 106 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,125 Chechnya, 2013. 107 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,085 Insurgents turned on one another. 108 00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:31,007 Indisputably, the work of our mercenaries, but no trace of any chemicals of any kind. 109 00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:32,332 So what happened to Lancelot? 110 00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:36,262 He tracked them to this property in Argentina. 111 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,766 While he had them under surveillance... 112 00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:39,772 he became aware they'd effected a kidnapping. 113 00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:44,603 So he executed a solo rescue mission, which failed. 114 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:46,980 This is his last transmission. 115 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:51,531 - Who is he? - Some climate change doomsayer. 116 00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:53,333 Expounds something called "Gaia theory"... 117 00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:55,121 about the world healing itself, or some such. 118 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:59,160 But what's curious, is he's not actually missing. 119 00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:01,961 This is Professor Arnold... 120 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,168 at Imperial College this morning. 121 00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:07,000 It's all yours. 122 00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,461 And don't forget your membership proposal. 123 00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:12,722 Try picking a more suitable candidate this time. 124 00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:14,758 17 years and still... 125 00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:18,554 evolving with the times remains an entirely foreign concept to you. 126 00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:21,810 Need I remind you, I wouldn't be here if it weren't for that young man? 127 00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:24,567 He was as much Kingsman material as any of them. 128 00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:25,943 More so. 129 00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:29,106 But he wasn't exactly one of us, was he? 130 00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:33,493 Let's face it, Galahad, your little experiment failed. 131 00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:37,702 With respect, Arthur, you're a snob. 132 00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:38,956 "With respect"? 133 00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:42,331 The world is changing. 134 00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:46,498 There's a reason why aristocrats developed weak chins. 135 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,225 Eggsy? 136 00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:10,192 Eggsy, come here. 137 00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,201 - Got any Rizla, babe? - No. 138 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,408 Why don't you do your mum a favor, go down to the shop and get some? 139 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:18,867 - Get them yourself. - Oi. 140 00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:21,704 What have I said to you about speaking to Dean like that? 141 00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:25,336 Three's a crowd, innit? Why don't Dean's poodle go? 142 00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:26,963 I'll tell you what. 143 00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:28,873 Why don't you take this, go and get some Rizlas... 144 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,000 get yourself some sweets? And while you're gone... 145 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,964 we'll show your mother how three can be good company. 146 00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:38,548 Thanks, babe. 147 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,984 There we go. 148 00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:50,149 Is that better? 149 00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:07,332 If Dean treats your mum so bad, why doesn't she leave him? 150 00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:09,463 Low self-esteem. That's her problem. 151 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,382 Fuck off. Why would she have low self-esteem? 152 00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:13,384 Eggsy's mum is well fit. 153 00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:15,883 - No offense, bruv. - It's all right. 154 00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:19,140 One of these days, I'm gonna smash his face in. 155 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,721 Are you mental, cuz? 156 00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,603 He'd just get that lot to do you, and then pretend he knew nothing... 157 00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:27,055 ...about it. 158 00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:29,771 You think you can chat shit about us and we won't do nothing... 159 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:32,062 just because our guvnor's banging Eggsy's mum? 160 00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:34,071 Pretty much, yeah. 161 00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:36,403 Bruv, just leave it. Let's just go, man. 162 00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:37,566 It's not worth it. 163 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:40,244 You boys have outstayed your welcome. 164 00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:41,570 Leave. 165 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,324 What? 166 00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,917 I'm sorry about that, bruv. 167 00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:50,996 Yeah. 168 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,127 Mug. 169 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,423 They weren't fucking worth it, boys. 170 00:13:57,462 --> 00:14:00,762 It's freezing. Why are we walking? 171 00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:02,766 You jacked his fucking car keys, bruv? 172 00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:05,428 Yeah. Now, we're gonna nick his car. 173 00:14:06,137 --> 00:14:07,434 Shit! 174 00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:14,813 Hold on, boys. 175 00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:19,033 Hey, that's my fucking car! 176 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,445 Hey! Hey! Eggsy! 177 00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,659 I swear, you want to fucking stop it! 178 00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:26,370 You're a fucking dead man! Stop it! 179 00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:30,325 I'm gonna fucking have ya! 180 00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:36,960 Floor it, Eggsy! 181 00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:38,126 Floor it! 182 00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:40,088 Wanker! 183 00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:43,425 Yeah, Dean. Look, it's me. 184 00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:45,593 Eggsy just stole my fucking car. 185 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,604 I've come out the pub, he's done 15 donuts in my fucking face... 186 00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:50,310 and he's drove off. 187 00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:52,601 No, I can't have it! He's disrespecting me. 188 00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:54,986 And that means, he's disrespecting you. 189 00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:57,988 Hold up! What the...? 190 00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:39,855 Dickhead. 191 00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:43,655 Foxes are vermin, cuz. 192 00:15:43,818 --> 00:15:45,240 Should've driven it over. 193 00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:47,371 Should've done a lot of things. 194 00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:49,203 I'll sort this. Get out of the car. 195 00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:51,875 I said, get out of the fucking car! 196 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:03,839 Eggsy, there is no such thing as honor amongst thieves. 197 00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:08,560 Now, you can start giving me some names of the boys you were with... 198 00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:10,561 or you go down. 199 00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:12,772 It's up to you. 200 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,693 I want to exercise my right to a phone call. 201 00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:21,777 Well, I hope it's to your mum... 202 00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:25,443 to tell her you're gonna be 18 months late for your dinner. 203 00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:58,768 Customer Complaints, how may I help you? 204 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,107 My name's Eggsy Unwin. 205 00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:05,776 Sorry, Gary Unwin. And I'm up shit creek. 206 00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:07,222 I'm in Holborn police station... 207 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,033 and my mum said to call this number if ever I needed help. 208 00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,698 I'm sorry, sir. Wrong number. 209 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,207 Wait! Wait! 210 00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:17,207 Oxfords not brogues. 211 00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,435 Your complaint has been duly noted... 212 00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:23,627 and we hope that we have not lost you as a loyal customer. 213 00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:36,063 Yeah. 214 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:38,983 You what? 215 00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:41,356 I... 216 00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:42,816 Yeah. 217 00:17:43,521 --> 00:17:46,149 Yes, I totally understand. 218 00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:06,760 Eggsy. 219 00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:08,879 Would you like a lift home? 220 00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:10,847 Who are you? 221 00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:12,350 The man who got you released. 222 00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:13,851 That ain't an answer. 223 00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:16,349 A little gratitude would be nice. 224 00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:20,850 My name is Harry Hart, and I gave you that medal. 225 00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:24,395 Your father saved my life. 226 00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:29,818 So before you was a tailor, was you in the army? 227 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:31,702 Like an officer. 228 00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:33,363 Not quite. 229 00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:35,327 So where was you posted, Iraq or something? 230 00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:37,742 Sorry, Eggsy. Classified. 231 00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:40,373 But my dad saved your life, yeah? 232 00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:44,916 The day your father died, I missed something. 233 00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:47,168 And if it weren't for his courage... 234 00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:50,259 my mistake would have cost the lives of every man present. 235 00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:52,682 So I owe him. 236 00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:55,892 Your father was a brave man. 237 00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:58,892 A good man. 238 00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,215 And having read your files... 239 00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:02,824 I think he'd be bitterly disappointed in the choices you've made. 240 00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:04,090 You can't talk to me like that. 241 00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:05,185 Huge I.Q. 242 00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:07,104 Great performance at primary school. 243 00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:09,365 And it all went tits up. 244 00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:12,242 Drugs, petty crime. Never had a job. 245 00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:14,074 You think there's a lot of jobs going around here, do you? 246 00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:15,738 Doesn't explain why you gave up your hobbies. 247 00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:18,499 First prize, regional Under-10s gymnastics... 248 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:19,875 two years in a row. 249 00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:22,253 Your coach had you pegged as Olympic team material. 250 00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:24,084 Yeah, well, when you grow up around someone like my stepdad... 251 00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:25,726 you pick up new hobbies pretty quick. 252 00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:27,591 Of course. Always someone else's fault. 253 00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,055 Who's to blame for you quitting the Marines? 254 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,548 You were halfway through training, doing brilliantly, but you gave up. 255 00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:35,716 Because my mum went mental. 256 00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:38,682 Banging on about losing me as well as my dad. 257 00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:41,267 Didn't want me being cannon fodder for snobs like you. 258 00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:43,853 Judging people like me from your ivory towers... 259 00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,235 with no thought about why we do what we do. 260 00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:49,280 We ain't got much choice. You get me? 261 00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:52,130 And if we was born with the same silver spoon up our arses... 262 00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:55,118 we'd do just as well as you. If not, better. 263 00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:58,121 What the fuck you doing here? You taking the piss? 264 00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:01,079 Some more examples of young men... 265 00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:02,960 who simply need a silver suppository? 266 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:04,621 No, they're exceptions. Come on. 267 00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:06,387 Nonsense. We haven't finished our drinks. 268 00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:07,506 After you nicked his car... 269 00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:08,962 Dean says you're fair game. 270 00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:10,725 He don't give a shit what your mum says. 271 00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:12,136 Listen, boys... 272 00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:15,472 I've had a rather emotional day... 273 00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:19,977 so whatever your beef with Eggsy is, and I'm sure it's well-founded... 274 00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:21,804 I'd appreciate it enormously... 275 00:20:21,971 --> 00:20:23,939 if you could just leave us in peace... 276 00:20:24,098 --> 00:20:26,647 until I finish this lovely pint of Guinness. 277 00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:32,492 You should get out of the way, Granddad, or you'll get hurt and all. 278 00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:33,991 He ain't joking. You should go. 279 00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:41,995 Excuse me. 280 00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:46,906 If you're looking for another rent boy, they're on the corner of Smith street. 281 00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:53,798 Manners... 282 00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:56,301 maketh... 283 00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:00,551 man. 284 00:21:08,058 --> 00:21:09,810 Do you know what that means? 285 00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:13,860 Then let me teach you a lesson. 286 00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:25,747 Are we going to stand around here all day, or are we going to fight? 287 00:22:10,538 --> 00:22:13,542 You fucking dirty, fucking dirty... 288 00:22:54,790 --> 00:22:56,212 Sorry about that. 289 00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:58,127 Needed to let off a little steam. 290 00:22:59,295 --> 00:23:02,799 I heard yesterday a friend of mine died. 291 00:23:02,965 --> 00:23:05,013 He knew your father too, actually. 292 00:23:07,511 --> 00:23:09,639 Now, I do apologize, Eggsy. 293 00:23:09,805 --> 00:23:11,807 I shouldn't have done this in front of you. 294 00:23:11,974 --> 00:23:13,976 No, please! I won't say nothing, I swear! 295 00:23:14,143 --> 00:23:15,645 If there's one thing I can do, it's keep my mouth shut. 296 00:23:15,811 --> 00:23:17,154 - You won't tell a soul? - Ask the feds. 297 00:23:17,313 --> 00:23:18,473 I've never grassed anyone up. 298 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,824 - Is that a promise? - On my life! 299 00:23:24,987 --> 00:23:26,830 Much appreciated, Eggsy. 300 00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:28,741 You're right about the snobs. 301 00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:31,161 But there, too, there are exceptions. 302 00:23:32,077 --> 00:23:33,875 Best of luck with everything. 303 00:23:48,218 --> 00:23:52,439 In celebrity news, the Richmond Valentine movie premiered in Hollywood last night. 304 00:23:52,598 --> 00:23:55,397 The story of the internet billionaire's rise to power... 305 00:23:55,559 --> 00:23:58,358 is expected to be this award season's hot ticket. 306 00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:01,524 One notable absence from the red carpet was Iggy Azalea... 307 00:24:01,690 --> 00:24:05,194 still missing three days after she failed to appear at her Oakland concert. 308 00:24:05,361 --> 00:24:06,908 No ransom has been demanded. 309 00:24:07,071 --> 00:24:09,039 Eggsy, just go, please, because he's gonna... 310 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:11,708 No, please, don't hurt him! 311 00:24:11,867 --> 00:24:13,585 Fuck off! Get the fuck away with ya! 312 00:24:13,744 --> 00:24:14,961 Shut the fuck up! 313 00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:17,248 Who was with you in that fucking pub? 314 00:24:17,414 --> 00:24:19,542 I want to know the name of the geezer you was with. 315 00:24:19,708 --> 00:24:21,551 - I wasn't with no one! - Who was it? 316 00:24:21,710 --> 00:24:23,132 - I don't know what you're on about. - Who was it? 317 00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:24,421 I don't know who you're fucking on about! 318 00:24:24,588 --> 00:24:25,714 Fucking tell me his name! 319 00:24:25,881 --> 00:24:28,225 I don't know who you're fucking on about! 320 00:24:32,429 --> 00:24:33,430 You listen to me! 321 00:24:33,597 --> 00:24:35,565 I want to know who you was with in that pub. Do you understand? 322 00:24:35,724 --> 00:24:37,601 I want to know his fucking name! 323 00:24:37,768 --> 00:24:40,738 Because, I swear, I'll rip your head off. 324 00:24:40,896 --> 00:24:43,945 - Tell me! - I don't know what you're fucking on about! 325 00:24:44,108 --> 00:24:45,155 Just tell him, Eggsy! 326 00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:47,115 Fuck off! Fuck off, Michelle! 327 00:24:47,277 --> 00:24:48,574 I could kill you right now... 328 00:24:48,737 --> 00:24:51,240 and no one in the whole world will notice! 329 00:24:51,407 --> 00:24:53,080 But I would. 330 00:24:53,242 --> 00:24:55,085 I have enough evidence on your activities... 331 00:24:55,244 --> 00:24:57,246 to have you locked up for the rest of your life... 332 00:24:57,413 --> 00:24:59,632 - Mr. Dean Anthony Baker. - What the fuck? 333 00:24:59,832 --> 00:25:01,425 So I suggest you leave the boy alone... 334 00:25:01,583 --> 00:25:05,178 or I shall be forced to deliver it to the appropriate authorities. 335 00:25:06,171 --> 00:25:08,720 Eggsy, meet me at the tailor I told you about. 336 00:25:08,882 --> 00:25:11,351 What the fuck's going on here? 337 00:25:13,303 --> 00:25:14,520 Eggsy, you fucking maggot! 338 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:15,897 Hey, we got a racer! 339 00:25:16,056 --> 00:25:17,524 Come here. Hey! 340 00:25:18,225 --> 00:25:19,351 Eggsy, you fucking... 341 00:25:19,518 --> 00:25:20,815 Come here, son! 342 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:34,332 You wanker! 343 00:25:34,491 --> 00:25:36,118 I'll have you, son! 344 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,562 I've never met a tailor before. 345 00:26:04,396 --> 00:26:05,739 But I know you ain't one. 346 00:26:09,693 --> 00:26:11,366 Come with me. 347 00:26:20,037 --> 00:26:21,334 Come on in. 348 00:26:27,044 --> 00:26:28,045 What do you see? 349 00:26:28,337 --> 00:26:31,557 Someone who wants to know what the fuck is going on. 350 00:26:33,258 --> 00:26:35,602 I see a young man with potential. 351 00:26:36,929 --> 00:26:38,681 A young man who is loyal. 352 00:26:39,848 --> 00:26:41,566 Who can do as he's asked. 353 00:26:41,725 --> 00:26:44,524 And who wants to do something good with his life. 354 00:26:46,105 --> 00:26:48,107 Did you see the film Trading Places? 355 00:26:48,857 --> 00:26:50,200 No. 356 00:26:50,609 --> 00:26:52,111 How about Nikita? 357 00:26:53,195 --> 00:26:54,538 Pretty Woman? 358 00:26:55,447 --> 00:26:56,539 All right. 359 00:26:56,698 --> 00:26:59,738 My point is, that the lack of a silver spoon has set you on a certain path... 360 00:26:59,868 --> 00:27:01,711 but you needn't stay on it. 361 00:27:01,954 --> 00:27:06,801 If you're prepared to adapt and learn, you can transform. 362 00:27:07,376 --> 00:27:09,219 Like in My Fair Lady. 363 00:27:10,254 --> 00:27:12,302 Well, you're full of surprises. 364 00:27:12,548 --> 00:27:15,267 Yes, like My Fair Lady. 365 00:27:16,301 --> 00:27:19,601 Only, in this case, I'm offering you the opportunity to become a Kingsman. 366 00:27:20,264 --> 00:27:21,607 A tailor? 367 00:27:22,099 --> 00:27:23,396 A Kingsman agent. 368 00:27:24,977 --> 00:27:26,229 Like a spy? 369 00:27:26,436 --> 00:27:27,562 Of sorts. 370 00:27:29,565 --> 00:27:30,565 Interested? 371 00:27:31,066 --> 00:27:33,239 You think I've got anything to lose? 372 00:27:40,409 --> 00:27:41,752 Since 1849... 373 00:27:41,910 --> 00:27:46,086 Kingsman tailors have clothed the world's most powerful individuals. 374 00:27:46,248 --> 00:27:50,924 By 1919, a great number of them had lost their heirs to World War One. 375 00:27:51,753 --> 00:27:55,098 That meant a lot of money going uninherited. 376 00:27:55,257 --> 00:27:59,262 And a lot of powerful men with a desire to preserve peace and protect life. 377 00:27:59,428 --> 00:28:02,352 Our founders realized that they could channel that wealth and influence... 378 00:28:02,514 --> 00:28:04,141 for the greater good. 379 00:28:04,308 --> 00:28:07,608 And so began our other venture. 380 00:28:08,437 --> 00:28:10,781 An independent, international intelligence agency... 381 00:28:10,939 --> 00:28:14,284 operating at the highest level of discretion. 382 00:28:15,068 --> 00:28:16,570 Above the politics and bureaucracy... 383 00:28:16,737 --> 00:28:20,913 that undermine the integrity of government-run spy organizations. 384 00:28:21,658 --> 00:28:24,002 The suit is a modern gentleman's armor. 385 00:28:24,828 --> 00:28:27,923 And the Kingsman agents are the new knights. 386 00:28:28,999 --> 00:28:30,592 How deep does this fucking thing go? 387 00:28:30,751 --> 00:28:31,798 Deep enough. 388 00:29:16,463 --> 00:29:18,181 Shit, we're late. 389 00:29:42,823 --> 00:29:45,372 Your father had the same look on his face. 390 00:29:47,035 --> 00:29:48,412 As did I. 391 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:51,206 Come on. 392 00:29:54,001 --> 00:29:55,048 Galahad. 393 00:29:55,210 --> 00:29:56,211 My code name. 394 00:29:56,378 --> 00:29:57,846 Late again, sir. 395 00:29:58,213 --> 00:29:59,510 Good luck. 396 00:29:59,881 --> 00:30:01,224 In you go. 397 00:30:12,728 --> 00:30:13,900 Fall in. 398 00:30:16,106 --> 00:30:18,950 Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Merlin. 399 00:30:19,109 --> 00:30:20,201 You are about to embark... 400 00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:23,079 on what is probably the most dangerous job interview in the world. 401 00:30:23,905 --> 00:30:28,752 One of you, and only one of you, will become the next Lancelot. 402 00:30:29,536 --> 00:30:32,756 Can anybody tell me what this is? 403 00:30:33,623 --> 00:30:35,250 - Yes? - Body bag, sir. 404 00:30:35,417 --> 00:30:37,715 Correct. Charlie, isn't it? 405 00:30:37,919 --> 00:30:38,919 Yes, sir. 406 00:30:38,962 --> 00:30:39,713 Good. 407 00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:42,258 In a moment, you will each collect a body bag. 408 00:30:42,424 --> 00:30:44,267 You will write your name on that bag. 409 00:30:44,593 --> 00:30:47,847 You will write the details of your next of kin on that bag. 410 00:30:48,013 --> 00:30:51,267 This represents your acknowledgment of the risks that you are about to face... 411 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,729 as well as your agreement to strict confidentiality. 412 00:30:54,895 --> 00:30:57,944 Which, incidentally, if you break, will result in you... 413 00:30:58,231 --> 00:31:00,575 and your next of kin... 414 00:31:01,026 --> 00:31:02,619 being in that bag. 415 00:31:04,279 --> 00:31:05,701 Is that understood? 416 00:31:07,199 --> 00:31:08,371 Excellent. 417 00:31:08,950 --> 00:31:10,247 Fall out. 418 00:31:17,542 --> 00:31:19,965 Roxanne. But call me Roxy. 419 00:31:20,712 --> 00:31:22,134 - I'm Eggsy. - "Eggy"? 420 00:31:22,297 --> 00:31:23,297 No, "Eggsy". 421 00:31:23,423 --> 00:31:24,766 Eggy? 422 00:31:24,925 --> 00:31:26,051 Where did they dig you up? 423 00:31:26,218 --> 00:31:28,338 You know we're not allowed to discuss who proposed us. 424 00:31:28,470 --> 00:31:29,767 No need to bite his head off. 425 00:31:29,930 --> 00:31:32,274 Charlie's only making conversation, right, Charlie? 426 00:31:32,891 --> 00:31:34,108 I'm Digby. 427 00:31:35,394 --> 00:31:36,065 Digby. 428 00:31:36,228 --> 00:31:37,650 Eggy, this is Rufus. 429 00:31:37,813 --> 00:31:39,315 Rufus, Eggy. 430 00:31:41,483 --> 00:31:44,282 So, Eggy, are you Oxford or Cambridge? 431 00:31:44,778 --> 00:31:45,449 Neither. 432 00:31:45,612 --> 00:31:46,909 - Saint Andrews? - Durham? 433 00:31:47,072 --> 00:31:48,995 No, wait, I think we may have met. 434 00:31:49,157 --> 00:31:52,912 Did you serve me at the McDonald's in Winchester service station? 435 00:31:53,078 --> 00:31:53,829 No. 436 00:31:53,995 --> 00:31:56,756 But if I had, I would have given you an extra helping of secret sauce. 437 00:31:57,249 --> 00:31:59,752 It's definitely Saint Andrews. 438 00:32:00,335 --> 00:32:01,507 Just ignore them. 439 00:32:01,670 --> 00:32:02,762 You need a pen? 440 00:32:02,921 --> 00:32:03,672 Cheers. 441 00:32:03,839 --> 00:32:05,261 Amelia, isn't it? 442 00:32:05,424 --> 00:32:06,846 Amelia, Eggsy. 443 00:32:07,008 --> 00:32:08,180 Hi, Eggsy. 444 00:32:08,510 --> 00:32:10,262 Don't take any notice of those guys. 445 00:32:10,429 --> 00:32:12,147 That's what I told him. 446 00:32:14,433 --> 00:32:15,650 It's just scare tactics. 447 00:32:16,017 --> 00:32:17,519 Classic army technique. 448 00:32:17,853 --> 00:32:18,854 No one's gonna die. 449 00:32:22,983 --> 00:32:24,200 Shame. 450 00:32:26,319 --> 00:32:28,538 Great. You don't know, the CIA don't know. 451 00:32:28,697 --> 00:32:31,200 Nobody knows who this guy is? 452 00:32:31,950 --> 00:32:32,951 Fine. 453 00:32:33,118 --> 00:32:34,495 Seriously, it's fine. 454 00:32:34,661 --> 00:32:38,541 Well, it's not really fine, but it's not why I'm here. 455 00:32:38,707 --> 00:32:42,177 Hell, man, you know me. Money's not my issue. 456 00:32:42,335 --> 00:32:44,053 I could've retired straight out of MIT... 457 00:32:44,212 --> 00:32:46,681 fucked off to some island, let the business run itself. 458 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,593 Nobody told me to try and save the planet. 459 00:32:49,759 --> 00:32:51,386 I wanted to. 460 00:32:51,553 --> 00:32:55,274 Climate change research, lobbying, years of study, billions of dollars... 461 00:32:55,432 --> 00:32:57,230 and you know why I quit? 462 00:32:57,684 --> 00:33:02,440 Because the last time I checked, the planet was still fucked. 463 00:33:02,772 --> 00:33:05,275 Hence, my epiphany. 464 00:33:05,442 --> 00:33:08,195 Money won't solve this. 465 00:33:08,570 --> 00:33:11,039 Those idiots who call themselves politicians... 466 00:33:11,198 --> 00:33:15,248 have buried their heads in the sand and stood for nothing but re-election. 467 00:33:16,036 --> 00:33:20,382 So I spent the last two years trying to find a real solution. 468 00:33:20,957 --> 00:33:22,880 And I found it. 469 00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:27,089 Now, if you really want to make the world a better place... 470 00:33:27,255 --> 00:33:31,726 I suggest you open your fucking ears, because I'm about to tell it to you. 471 00:33:31,927 --> 00:33:33,770 Go on, Mr. Valentine. 472 00:33:33,929 --> 00:33:35,431 I'm still listening. 473 00:33:36,223 --> 00:33:40,103 As long as you agree to all my terms. 474 00:34:28,316 --> 00:34:29,863 All right, no one panic. Listen to me. 475 00:34:30,110 --> 00:34:31,157 Stay calm. 476 00:34:31,987 --> 00:34:32,987 Fuck. 477 00:34:34,823 --> 00:34:36,370 Loo snorkels, loo snorkels! 478 00:34:36,658 --> 00:34:37,658 Loo snorkels? 479 00:34:37,784 --> 00:34:38,784 Showerheads! 480 00:34:39,828 --> 00:34:40,828 Showerheads? 481 00:34:40,829 --> 00:34:42,297 She's right. Fucking go! 482 00:34:44,207 --> 00:34:46,710 Hey, hang about, what's wrong with the fucking door? 483 00:36:10,418 --> 00:36:13,217 Congratulations on completing your first task. 484 00:36:13,463 --> 00:36:16,137 Charlie, Roxy, well done. 485 00:36:16,299 --> 00:36:18,097 For those of you who are still confused... 486 00:36:18,259 --> 00:36:20,432 if you can get a breathing tube around a U-bend of a toilet... 487 00:36:20,595 --> 00:36:22,438 you have an unlimited air supply. 488 00:36:22,597 --> 00:36:25,100 Simple physics, worth remembering. 489 00:36:25,266 --> 00:36:28,566 Eggsy, well done for spotting that was a two-way mirror. 490 00:36:28,728 --> 00:36:29,729 He's probably seen enough of them. 491 00:36:29,896 --> 00:36:32,775 Yeah, you can all wipe those smirks off your faces. 492 00:36:32,941 --> 00:36:36,787 Because as far as I'm concerned, every single one of you has failed. 493 00:36:37,112 --> 00:36:40,161 You all forgot the most important thing... 494 00:36:41,157 --> 00:36:42,454 teamwork. 495 00:36:56,631 --> 00:36:59,305 So much for classic army technique. 496 00:37:02,470 --> 00:37:03,722 35. 497 00:37:04,389 --> 00:37:05,766 105. 498 00:37:06,391 --> 00:37:08,735 That's it. That's it. 499 00:37:13,314 --> 00:37:14,314 Hello. 500 00:37:14,774 --> 00:37:15,821 Can I help you? 501 00:37:15,984 --> 00:37:19,363 Yes. I have a question about anthropogenic force. 502 00:37:20,822 --> 00:37:23,951 Really? It's actually quite fascinating. 503 00:37:25,827 --> 00:37:27,500 My colleague died trying to rescue you... 504 00:37:27,662 --> 00:37:29,502 and I'm sure you saw how well trained he was... 505 00:37:29,539 --> 00:37:32,179 so I suggest you tell me who kidnapped you and why they let you go. 506 00:37:32,292 --> 00:37:34,044 I have no idea what you're talking... 507 00:37:34,836 --> 00:37:37,089 I'm not supposed to say it, but it was... 508 00:37:37,464 --> 00:37:39,182 For God's sake, I've barely touched you. 509 00:37:39,340 --> 00:37:40,637 Man up! 510 00:38:01,488 --> 00:38:03,411 Fuck that guy, whoever he is. I'm gonna... 511 00:38:04,949 --> 00:38:06,917 He made me kill Professor Arnold. 512 00:38:07,076 --> 00:38:08,419 I goddamn loved Professor Arnold. 513 00:38:08,578 --> 00:38:09,625 Well, the good news is... 514 00:38:09,788 --> 00:38:11,586 we know the emergency and surveillance system work. 515 00:38:11,748 --> 00:38:13,716 You know what's not good news? 516 00:38:13,875 --> 00:38:15,593 "My colleague died!" 517 00:38:15,752 --> 00:38:17,174 That's what he said! 518 00:38:17,337 --> 00:38:19,681 This is an organization, and they're all over us. 519 00:38:19,923 --> 00:38:21,675 - Whoever you spoke to... - I told you... 520 00:38:21,841 --> 00:38:25,391 I made contact with the KGB, MI6, Mossad and Beijing. 521 00:38:25,553 --> 00:38:27,153 They all insist he wasn't one of theirs. 522 00:38:27,388 --> 00:38:28,685 Beijing. 523 00:38:29,140 --> 00:38:33,361 So freaky how there's no recognizable name for the Chinese secret service. 524 00:38:33,812 --> 00:38:35,985 Now, that's what you call a secret, right? 525 00:38:36,981 --> 00:38:38,733 You know what? Fuck it. 526 00:38:39,192 --> 00:38:40,785 We need to speed things up. 527 00:38:40,944 --> 00:38:42,304 Bring the product release forward. 528 00:38:42,445 --> 00:38:44,288 We're only halfway into production... 529 00:38:44,447 --> 00:38:45,887 and speeding it will cost a fortune. 530 00:38:46,032 --> 00:38:47,329 Do I look like I give a fuck? 531 00:38:47,575 --> 00:38:49,418 Just get it done. 532 00:38:51,913 --> 00:38:54,507 As some of you will have learned last night... 533 00:38:55,917 --> 00:38:59,137 teamwork is paramount here at Kingsman. 534 00:38:59,295 --> 00:39:03,095 We're here to enhance your skills, test you to the limit. 535 00:39:03,258 --> 00:39:06,683 Which is why you're gonna pick a puppy. 536 00:39:06,845 --> 00:39:08,688 Wherever you go, your dog goes. 537 00:39:08,847 --> 00:39:11,066 You will care for it. You will teach it. 538 00:39:11,224 --> 00:39:14,273 And by the time it's fully trained, so will you be. 539 00:39:14,435 --> 00:39:17,029 Those of you who are still here, that is. 540 00:39:17,188 --> 00:39:19,111 Do you understand? 541 00:39:19,315 --> 00:39:21,192 Choose your puppy. 542 00:39:23,862 --> 00:39:25,034 A Doodle? 543 00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:26,196 What? 544 00:39:26,281 --> 00:39:27,874 They're gun dogs. 545 00:39:28,032 --> 00:39:29,534 Oldest working breed. 546 00:39:29,701 --> 00:39:31,499 Easy to train. 547 00:39:32,537 --> 00:39:33,789 A pug? 548 00:39:35,164 --> 00:39:36,837 It's a bulldog, innit? 549 00:39:39,294 --> 00:39:40,694 It'll get bigger, though, won't it? 550 00:39:44,549 --> 00:39:46,677 Shit. 551 00:39:48,678 --> 00:39:52,023 His MRI shows no signs of concussion. 552 00:39:52,181 --> 00:39:55,151 No direct brain trauma at all. 553 00:39:55,476 --> 00:39:57,570 How much longer can he be out? 554 00:39:57,729 --> 00:39:58,901 That's the million-dollar question. 555 00:39:59,063 --> 00:40:00,906 We don't know what he was exposed to in there. 556 00:40:01,065 --> 00:40:02,533 What about Harry's footage? 557 00:40:02,692 --> 00:40:04,365 It didn't stream to his home terminal. 558 00:40:04,527 --> 00:40:07,497 Encrypted and uncrackable. 559 00:40:07,739 --> 00:40:08,939 If and when he comes around... 560 00:40:09,032 --> 00:40:11,660 you might want to have a word with him about sharing his password. 561 00:40:11,826 --> 00:40:13,499 Is he gonna be all right? 562 00:40:14,662 --> 00:40:16,335 We need to have patience, Eggsy. 563 00:40:16,748 --> 00:40:18,091 But there's hope, okay? 564 00:40:18,666 --> 00:40:20,384 If I were you, I'd concentrate on your training. 565 00:40:20,543 --> 00:40:22,716 Make it through the tests. Make him proud. 566 00:40:30,345 --> 00:40:31,847 Come on, come on, come on! 567 00:40:32,013 --> 00:40:34,107 J.B., come on! Come on! 568 00:40:37,185 --> 00:40:39,187 I'm not coming last because of you. 569 00:40:40,021 --> 00:40:42,524 J.B., I'll shoot you! Goddamn you, I'll fucking shoot you! 570 00:40:43,775 --> 00:40:45,448 Merlin said we're not allowed to hold you. 571 00:40:47,612 --> 00:40:49,114 Bollocks. 572 00:41:31,656 --> 00:41:32,656 Water! 573 00:41:35,910 --> 00:41:37,412 - Come on, then! - Eggsy, forget it! 574 00:41:37,578 --> 00:41:39,218 What's wrong, mate? You can't take a joke? 575 00:41:39,247 --> 00:41:41,420 Seriously, you'll get thrown out, and it's just not worth it. 576 00:41:41,582 --> 00:41:43,084 Maybe I don't give a fuck if I get kicked out! 577 00:41:43,251 --> 00:41:44,594 Do it. Come on, you pleb. 578 00:41:44,752 --> 00:41:46,174 Charlie, fuck off! 579 00:41:48,297 --> 00:41:51,267 Yeah, go on, walk away. Dickhead. 580 00:41:52,593 --> 00:41:53,685 Come on, J.B. 581 00:41:53,845 --> 00:41:54,937 Come on, good boy. 582 00:42:08,735 --> 00:42:11,113 You have exactly one hour to complete the test... 583 00:42:11,279 --> 00:42:12,826 starting now. 584 00:42:14,907 --> 00:42:16,659 New target, 800 meters. 585 00:42:16,826 --> 00:42:18,453 You know, it's unbelievable. You're still here... 586 00:42:18,619 --> 00:42:22,123 lingering like some big, steaming shit that just won't flush. 587 00:42:22,290 --> 00:42:23,792 Roger that. Target identified. 588 00:42:23,958 --> 00:42:25,960 And how about you shut the fuck up? 589 00:42:26,127 --> 00:42:27,253 Positive discrimination... 590 00:42:27,420 --> 00:42:28,842 that's what it is. 591 00:42:29,005 --> 00:42:32,179 It's like those fucking state school kids who get into Oxford on C grades... 592 00:42:32,341 --> 00:42:33,981 because their mum is a one-legged lesbian. 593 00:42:34,135 --> 00:42:35,735 You don't know fuck all about my grades. 594 00:42:35,803 --> 00:42:37,680 Forgive me, I'm sure you're highly educated. 595 00:42:37,847 --> 00:42:39,315 Fire when ready. 596 00:42:41,476 --> 00:42:43,478 How's that for positive discrimination? 597 00:42:56,157 --> 00:42:57,955 I want to thank you both for listening... 598 00:42:58,117 --> 00:43:01,212 and I really, really appreciate you travelling all this way... 599 00:43:01,370 --> 00:43:02,371 Your Royal Highness. 600 00:43:02,705 --> 00:43:04,332 And you, too, Prime Minister. 601 00:43:04,499 --> 00:43:07,503 I think this is quite brilliant. 602 00:43:08,002 --> 00:43:10,505 It's absolutely brilliant. 603 00:43:11,297 --> 00:43:14,141 You are completely crazy. 604 00:43:16,177 --> 00:43:17,724 And as for you, Prime Minister 605 00:43:17,845 --> 00:43:20,064 I'm speechless you'd even consider this. 606 00:43:25,353 --> 00:43:28,323 - Don't touch... - Sorry, Your Royal Highness. 607 00:43:28,481 --> 00:43:29,528 But you've got a big role to play... 608 00:43:29,690 --> 00:43:32,239 in getting the Scandinavian region back on track. 609 00:43:32,568 --> 00:43:33,911 You're popular, inspirational... 610 00:43:34,070 --> 00:43:36,539 and you have the power to galvanize the people. 611 00:43:36,697 --> 00:43:39,541 Now, whether you're on board or not... 612 00:43:39,700 --> 00:43:41,327 I'm going to have to insist... 613 00:43:41,494 --> 00:43:44,373 on getting you somewhere I can ensure your safety. 614 00:43:44,872 --> 00:43:47,091 How about you, Prime Minister? You in or out? 615 00:43:48,042 --> 00:43:49,544 Well, I think it's about time... 616 00:43:49,710 --> 00:43:54,386 that a politician did something that actually made a difference. 617 00:43:54,882 --> 00:43:56,725 Too true. 618 00:43:56,884 --> 00:43:57,884 What? 619 00:43:57,885 --> 00:43:59,228 Take her away. 620 00:44:02,890 --> 00:44:03,890 Drink? 621 00:44:04,725 --> 00:44:06,227 Why not? 622 00:44:08,146 --> 00:44:10,114 Guards! Help! 623 00:44:10,189 --> 00:44:10,940 Don't worry. 624 00:44:11,107 --> 00:44:12,575 No harm will come to the princess. 625 00:44:13,067 --> 00:44:17,197 Well, I'm a republican anyways, so it really doesn't matter. 626 00:44:18,739 --> 00:44:19,739 Release the princess! 627 00:44:53,441 --> 00:44:54,613 Okay, you're done. 628 00:44:54,775 --> 00:44:56,277 Not so bad, right? 629 00:44:56,819 --> 00:44:58,662 Hardly felt a thing. 630 00:44:58,946 --> 00:45:00,448 Welcome aboard. 631 00:45:00,907 --> 00:45:02,750 Pleasure is all mine. 632 00:45:09,081 --> 00:45:10,082 Ever heard of knocking? 633 00:45:11,292 --> 00:45:12,732 Only when I'm casing a place to rob. 634 00:45:14,128 --> 00:45:15,448 Merlin said you wanted to see me? 635 00:45:16,589 --> 00:45:18,637 I hope J.B.'s training is going as well as yours is. 636 00:45:18,925 --> 00:45:19,972 Sit. 637 00:45:22,470 --> 00:45:25,349 Congratulations on making it to the final six candidates. 638 00:45:25,514 --> 00:45:28,017 Your test results were even better than I could've hoped. 639 00:45:30,645 --> 00:45:31,817 Come in. 640 00:45:35,983 --> 00:45:38,657 Eggsy, I need to have a private conversation. 641 00:45:38,819 --> 00:45:39,819 You're dismissed. 642 00:45:39,946 --> 00:45:41,664 Nonsense. Let him observe. 643 00:45:41,864 --> 00:45:43,491 Might learn a thing or two. 644 00:45:43,991 --> 00:45:45,993 As you wish. Take a look at this. 645 00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:47,958 For God's sake, I've barely touched you. 646 00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:49,120 Man up! 647 00:45:49,622 --> 00:45:51,340 Fucking hell! 648 00:45:51,499 --> 00:45:53,467 That is rank, Harry. 649 00:45:54,168 --> 00:45:55,511 You blew up his head? 650 00:45:55,670 --> 00:45:57,138 It's a bit much, innit? 651 00:45:57,296 --> 00:46:00,971 Actually, the explosion was caused by an implant in his neck. 652 00:46:01,175 --> 00:46:02,677 Here, under the scar. 653 00:46:03,010 --> 00:46:05,513 Did my hardware pick up the signal that triggered it? 654 00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:07,182 Fortunately, yes. 655 00:46:07,515 --> 00:46:09,483 Unfortunately, the IP address I traced it to... 656 00:46:09,642 --> 00:46:11,861 is registered to the Valentine Corporation. 657 00:46:12,019 --> 00:46:14,863 That's not much of a lead. He has millions of employees worldwide. 658 00:46:15,022 --> 00:46:17,195 That Richmond Valentine is a genius. 659 00:46:20,820 --> 00:46:22,993 Did you not see his announcement today? 660 00:46:23,698 --> 00:46:24,870 No. 661 00:46:28,911 --> 00:46:32,506 We each spend on average $2,000 a year... 662 00:46:32,665 --> 00:46:34,542 on cell phone and internet usage. 663 00:46:34,709 --> 00:46:37,838 It gives me great pleasure to announce... 664 00:46:38,004 --> 00:46:40,553 those days are over. 665 00:46:40,715 --> 00:46:41,762 As of tomorrow... 666 00:46:41,924 --> 00:46:45,770 every man, woman and child can claim a free SIM card... 667 00:46:45,928 --> 00:46:50,058 compatible with any cell phone, any computer... 668 00:46:50,224 --> 00:46:54,400 and utilize my communications network for free. 669 00:46:54,562 --> 00:46:55,905 Free calls... 670 00:46:56,063 --> 00:46:57,565 free internet... 671 00:46:57,732 --> 00:46:59,234 for everyone. 672 00:47:00,234 --> 00:47:01,577 Forever. 673 00:47:17,418 --> 00:47:20,092 Valentine's assistant has the same implant scar. 674 00:47:20,588 --> 00:47:23,262 I think Mr. Valentine and I should have a tête-à-tête. 675 00:47:26,761 --> 00:47:29,230 He's having a gala dinner next week. 676 00:47:29,388 --> 00:47:32,232 I'll get you an invitation. You need to be careful, though. 677 00:47:32,433 --> 00:47:34,401 Since you've been out, hundreds of VIPs have gone missing. 678 00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:36,938 No ransom notes, exactly like Professor Arnold. 679 00:47:37,271 --> 00:47:40,992 Then I suggest you make my alias somebody worth kidnapping. 680 00:47:53,788 --> 00:47:54,960 Fuck, fuck, fuck! 681 00:47:55,122 --> 00:47:56,294 What, don't like heights? 682 00:47:56,457 --> 00:47:57,458 Yeah, it's okay. 683 00:47:57,666 --> 00:48:01,296 I've done it before, which is probably why, come to think of it. 684 00:48:02,588 --> 00:48:04,465 Hey, it's gonna be all right. 685 00:48:04,632 --> 00:48:06,100 You're top of the class. 686 00:48:08,094 --> 00:48:09,311 Listen up. 687 00:48:09,470 --> 00:48:12,269 Your mission is to land in the target without the radar detecting you. 688 00:48:12,431 --> 00:48:16,106 If I read you on the radar, or you miss the target, you go home. 689 00:48:16,477 --> 00:48:17,649 Is that understood? 690 00:48:21,148 --> 00:48:23,776 Drop zone coming up, 20 seconds. 691 00:48:25,111 --> 00:48:26,533 We gotta go. 692 00:48:35,788 --> 00:48:37,665 Eggsy, I really don't think I can do this. 693 00:48:37,832 --> 00:48:38,833 Of course you can't. 694 00:48:38,999 --> 00:48:40,759 Head to the back and I'll show you how, yeah? 695 00:48:48,843 --> 00:48:50,845 Eggsy, wait! Hang on! 696 00:48:51,846 --> 00:48:53,348 Roxy, just stop fucking about! 697 00:48:54,974 --> 00:48:55,974 Follow me, yeah? 698 00:49:10,030 --> 00:49:11,873 Come on! 699 00:49:13,159 --> 00:49:15,207 Roxy, it's now or never. 700 00:49:16,495 --> 00:49:17,712 Jump! 701 00:49:36,348 --> 00:49:37,691 Good girl, Rox... 702 00:49:37,850 --> 00:49:39,443 I'm glad you made it! 703 00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:53,912 Yeah! 704 00:49:54,575 --> 00:49:55,576 Come on! 705 00:49:57,953 --> 00:50:00,081 My, my, you're all very cheerful. 706 00:50:00,247 --> 00:50:02,528 Did you really think it was gonna be that straightforward? 707 00:50:02,583 --> 00:50:04,961 Any idiot can read a heads-up display. 708 00:50:05,127 --> 00:50:08,802 A Kingsman agent needs to be able to solve problems under pressure. 709 00:50:09,381 --> 00:50:12,885 Like what to do when one of your group has no parachute. 710 00:50:14,261 --> 00:50:15,934 - What, no parachute? - Shit! 711 00:50:16,305 --> 00:50:17,431 Who? 712 00:50:17,598 --> 00:50:18,598 Fuck! 713 00:50:18,599 --> 00:50:19,599 Which one? 714 00:50:19,725 --> 00:50:21,147 What do we do? 715 00:50:21,310 --> 00:50:22,732 I told you. Aim for the target. 716 00:50:22,895 --> 00:50:24,147 Come in under the radar. 717 00:50:24,313 --> 00:50:26,281 And I hope not to be scraping one of you up. 718 00:50:26,649 --> 00:50:29,619 But if I do have to, and you're inside the target... 719 00:50:30,110 --> 00:50:31,828 please know I'll be very impressed. 720 00:50:31,987 --> 00:50:33,409 - Fuck! - Oh, shit! 721 00:50:37,284 --> 00:50:38,957 Everybody listen, I've got a plan! 722 00:50:40,663 --> 00:50:43,633 Pair off! Grab the closest person to them. 723 00:50:46,293 --> 00:50:47,465 Rufus, come on! 724 00:50:47,670 --> 00:50:48,670 Fuck! 725 00:50:49,463 --> 00:50:50,463 Rufus! 726 00:50:50,798 --> 00:50:51,970 Shit! I can't! 727 00:50:55,803 --> 00:50:56,803 Fuck! 728 00:50:57,846 --> 00:50:58,972 Thank God! 729 00:50:59,139 --> 00:51:00,982 Rufus, you wanker! 730 00:51:02,184 --> 00:51:03,606 Shit, we're an odd number now! 731 00:51:04,687 --> 00:51:05,779 Quick, make a circle! 732 00:51:05,938 --> 00:51:07,656 Fuck, he's right! Boys, let's do it. 733 00:51:12,361 --> 00:51:14,455 We pull our cords one by one! 734 00:51:14,613 --> 00:51:15,830 When we know who's fucked... 735 00:51:15,990 --> 00:51:17,470 the person on their right grabs them. 736 00:51:19,118 --> 00:51:20,370 Okay, Eggsy. 737 00:51:20,828 --> 00:51:21,829 Good plan, Eggsy. 738 00:51:21,996 --> 00:51:24,169 You have 30 seconds. Come on now, hurry. 739 00:51:24,331 --> 00:51:25,332 Me first! 740 00:51:27,835 --> 00:51:28,835 Fuck! 741 00:51:28,836 --> 00:51:30,179 Yes! 742 00:51:32,214 --> 00:51:34,637 Okay, me next. 743 00:51:36,635 --> 00:51:38,182 See you on the ground, boys. 744 00:51:42,016 --> 00:51:43,017 Now me. 745 00:51:46,895 --> 00:51:47,895 Fuck! 746 00:51:52,359 --> 00:51:53,155 Roxy... 747 00:51:53,319 --> 00:51:55,359 No matter what happens now, I've got you, all right? 748 00:51:58,866 --> 00:52:00,163 Okay, Eggsy. 749 00:52:00,326 --> 00:52:01,498 - Yours first, okay? - Yep. 750 00:52:14,673 --> 00:52:15,673 Shit! 751 00:52:23,349 --> 00:52:24,601 Shit! 752 00:52:26,727 --> 00:52:27,727 Shit! 753 00:52:29,396 --> 00:52:30,396 Rox! 754 00:52:33,859 --> 00:52:34,951 Fuck. 755 00:52:51,293 --> 00:52:53,466 Hugo, Digby 756 00:52:53,629 --> 00:52:56,428 You don't land in the K, you're not in the K. 757 00:52:56,590 --> 00:52:58,934 Rufus, you opened too soon. 758 00:52:59,093 --> 00:53:00,436 You were all over the radar. 759 00:53:00,594 --> 00:53:02,437 All three of you, pack your bags, go home. 760 00:53:04,556 --> 00:53:06,775 Eggsy, Roxy, congratulations. 761 00:53:07,101 --> 00:53:08,728 You set a new record. 762 00:53:08,894 --> 00:53:10,111 Opening at 300 feet... 763 00:53:10,270 --> 00:53:11,317 that's pretty ballsy. 764 00:53:11,480 --> 00:53:13,983 Well done for completing another task. Fall out. 765 00:53:15,109 --> 00:53:16,110 Sorry, sir. 766 00:53:16,276 --> 00:53:17,949 But why the fuck did you choose me as the gimp? 767 00:53:18,112 --> 00:53:19,329 Am I the expendable candidate? 768 00:53:19,488 --> 00:53:22,082 No, no, no. You don't talk to me like that. 769 00:53:22,241 --> 00:53:24,801 You have a complaint, you come here and you whisper it in my ear. 770 00:53:31,291 --> 00:53:34,010 You need to take that chip off your shoulder. 771 00:54:04,992 --> 00:54:07,495 Mr. DeVere. It's a pleasure to meet you. 772 00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:10,839 I'm awfully sorry. I seem to have my dates muddled up. 773 00:54:10,998 --> 00:54:13,877 No, no, no. I cancelled the gala because of you. 774 00:54:14,209 --> 00:54:16,007 Anybody willing to donate that much... 775 00:54:16,170 --> 00:54:18,343 deserves their own dinner. Come in! 776 00:54:19,965 --> 00:54:20,966 Thank you. 777 00:54:22,843 --> 00:54:25,346 Got to admit, I was really intrigued to meet you. 778 00:54:25,512 --> 00:54:27,355 There aren't many billionaires I don't know. 779 00:54:27,514 --> 00:54:28,515 I don't doubt it. 780 00:54:28,682 --> 00:54:31,686 And, obviously, I had my people look into your affairs... 781 00:54:31,852 --> 00:54:33,612 and that's some pretty old money you're from. 782 00:54:33,729 --> 00:54:34,729 How'd your folks make it? 783 00:54:35,189 --> 00:54:38,193 Property, mostly. Property and the markets. 784 00:54:38,358 --> 00:54:40,406 Nothing questionable, if that's your concern. 785 00:54:40,569 --> 00:54:43,322 Look, I'm just into finding out what caliber person you are. 786 00:54:43,489 --> 00:54:44,649 I'm sure you understand that. 787 00:54:44,865 --> 00:54:45,912 I most certainly do. 788 00:54:46,074 --> 00:54:47,576 - Hope you're hungry. - I'm famished. 789 00:54:47,743 --> 00:54:48,790 Good. 790 00:54:48,869 --> 00:54:49,870 Grab a seat. 791 00:55:11,642 --> 00:55:12,842 I'll have the Big Mac, please. 792 00:55:12,893 --> 00:55:14,065 Great choice. 793 00:55:14,228 --> 00:55:17,653 But nothing beats two cheeseburgers with secret sauce. 794 00:55:17,815 --> 00:55:19,613 Goes great with this '45 Lafite. 795 00:55:19,775 --> 00:55:20,776 A classic pairing. 796 00:55:21,193 --> 00:55:24,197 And may I suggest Twinkies and a 1937 Château d'Yquem for pudding? 797 00:55:25,030 --> 00:55:26,407 I like it. 798 00:55:26,990 --> 00:55:30,790 So, you want to donate to my foundation. 799 00:55:30,953 --> 00:55:34,298 You are aware that I wound things down in that area, right? 800 00:55:34,456 --> 00:55:37,380 Climate change is a threat, which affects us all, Mr. Valentine. 801 00:55:37,543 --> 00:55:40,672 And you're one of the few powerful men who seems to share my concerns. 802 00:55:40,838 --> 00:55:43,512 No, I shut things down, because I wasn't getting anywhere. 803 00:55:43,674 --> 00:55:46,518 Every bit of research kept pointing to the same thing. 804 00:55:46,677 --> 00:55:48,054 That carbon emissions are a red herring... 805 00:55:48,220 --> 00:55:51,895 and that we're past the point of no return no matter what remedial actions we take? 806 00:55:52,266 --> 00:55:53,893 You know your shit. 807 00:55:54,059 --> 00:55:57,654 I sometimes envy the blissful ignorance of those less well versed in their... 808 00:55:58,188 --> 00:55:59,405 "shit." 809 00:56:00,440 --> 00:56:01,987 As Professor Arnold always said... 810 00:56:02,568 --> 00:56:04,991 "Humankind is the only virus cursed to live... 811 00:56:05,153 --> 00:56:08,407 "with the horrifying knowledge of its host's fragile mortality." 812 00:56:09,658 --> 00:56:12,207 You know, not a lot of people knew about him. 813 00:56:14,913 --> 00:56:17,291 You like spy movies, Mr. DeVere? 814 00:56:20,961 --> 00:56:24,010 Nowadays, they're all a little serious for my taste. 815 00:56:24,172 --> 00:56:25,172 But the old ones... 816 00:56:25,924 --> 00:56:27,176 Marvelous. 817 00:56:27,342 --> 00:56:29,595 Give me a far-fetched theatrical plot any day. 818 00:56:29,761 --> 00:56:33,265 The old Bond movies. Oh, man! 819 00:56:33,432 --> 00:56:36,982 When I was a kid, that was my dream job. 820 00:56:37,769 --> 00:56:39,362 Gentleman spy. 821 00:56:39,730 --> 00:56:43,075 I always felt the old Bond films were only as good as the villain. 822 00:56:43,442 --> 00:56:47,572 As a child, I rather fancied a future as a colorful megalomaniac. 823 00:56:49,448 --> 00:56:52,748 What a shame we both had to grow up. 824 00:56:57,372 --> 00:56:58,589 Bon appétit. 825 00:57:01,126 --> 00:57:04,096 Just give me a couple of days to think over your proposal. 826 00:57:04,254 --> 00:57:05,847 I'll have my people get in touch with yours... 827 00:57:06,006 --> 00:57:07,508 and it's all good. 828 00:57:07,674 --> 00:57:11,224 And thank you for such a happy meal. 829 00:57:16,558 --> 00:57:17,935 Well, want me to follow him? 830 00:57:18,101 --> 00:57:19,227 Nah. 831 00:57:19,519 --> 00:57:21,988 I put a nano tracker gel in the wine. 832 00:57:22,147 --> 00:57:25,151 We'll know his every move for the next 24 hours. 833 00:57:25,317 --> 00:57:27,866 Finally find out who he works for. 834 00:57:29,446 --> 00:57:31,414 Valentine didn't let me out of his sight. 835 00:57:31,573 --> 00:57:34,076 All I got was this on the way in. 836 00:57:38,205 --> 00:57:41,300 South Glade Mission Church is a hate group based in Kentucky. 837 00:57:42,167 --> 00:57:43,767 FBI have been monitoring them for years. 838 00:57:43,919 --> 00:57:45,717 But you think Valentine is a supporter? 839 00:57:45,879 --> 00:57:49,179 No evidence yet of a direct connection, but I'll keep looking. 840 00:57:50,050 --> 00:57:51,427 By the way... 841 00:57:51,593 --> 00:57:56,645 our ever-growing list of missing persons now includes Scandinavian royalty. 842 00:57:57,057 --> 00:57:59,776 Royal Crown Princess Tilde. 843 00:58:01,853 --> 00:58:04,697 Just let me out, you psycho! 844 00:58:04,856 --> 00:58:07,700 I told you, you're free to go any time you want. 845 00:58:07,859 --> 00:58:10,112 As long as you agree to my conditions. 846 00:58:10,529 --> 00:58:12,156 I don't agree... 847 00:58:12,322 --> 00:58:15,041 and I am never ever going to agree! 848 00:58:15,200 --> 00:58:16,452 Tough shit. 849 00:58:16,868 --> 00:58:17,869 Bitch. 850 00:58:20,038 --> 00:58:21,790 I want to speak to the British Council! 851 00:58:22,416 --> 00:58:26,842 The list of missing celebrities and dignitaries has continued to grow in recent weeks... 852 00:58:27,004 --> 00:58:30,884 and world leaders are coming under increasing pressure to provide answers. 853 00:58:31,049 --> 00:58:34,804 We are doing everything in our power to find Princess Tilde. 854 00:58:34,970 --> 00:58:38,144 You know, governments and security forces worldwide... 855 00:58:38,306 --> 00:58:42,027 are working together to find the person behind these abductions. 856 00:58:42,185 --> 00:58:43,865 In other news, people all over the world... 857 00:58:44,021 --> 00:58:48,401 continue to wait in line day and night to get their free SIM cards. 858 00:58:48,567 --> 00:58:51,036 Mrs. P, did you get one? 859 00:58:51,194 --> 00:58:53,788 Yeah, I've been queuing up all day. 860 00:58:53,947 --> 00:58:58,202 This unprecedented giveaway by the philanthropist Richmond Valentine... 861 00:58:58,368 --> 00:59:01,212 has already seen over a billion cards distributed. 862 00:59:01,371 --> 00:59:02,588 At ease. 863 00:59:04,750 --> 00:59:07,173 So you thought we were done for the day, huh? 864 00:59:07,961 --> 00:59:09,178 Well, we're not. 865 00:59:10,797 --> 00:59:12,799 - A party? - Tonight, in London. 866 00:59:14,551 --> 00:59:16,895 - Who's this? - Your target. 867 00:59:17,054 --> 00:59:19,022 Your mission is to use your NLP training... 868 00:59:19,181 --> 00:59:21,621 to win over the individual on the photograph in your envelope. 869 00:59:21,725 --> 00:59:23,227 And when I say "win over"... 870 00:59:23,560 --> 00:59:25,187 I do mean in the biblical sense. 871 00:59:25,353 --> 00:59:26,525 Easy. 872 00:59:27,439 --> 00:59:29,487 Posh girls love a bit of rough. 873 00:59:29,649 --> 00:59:31,276 We'll see about that, yeah? 874 00:59:31,568 --> 00:59:33,366 We certainly will. 875 00:59:38,575 --> 00:59:39,575 Hi! 876 00:59:39,701 --> 00:59:43,001 Sorry, I just had to come over and say, amazing eyes. 877 00:59:43,371 --> 00:59:44,611 Are you wearing color contacts? 878 00:59:44,748 --> 00:59:46,967 - No! - You so are. 879 00:59:47,125 --> 00:59:49,503 Oh, my God, negging! That's hilarious. 880 00:59:49,669 --> 00:59:51,709 I haven't heard anyone try that since the noughties. 881 00:59:51,713 --> 00:59:52,839 Excuse me? 882 00:59:53,006 --> 00:59:54,006 "Negging." 883 00:59:54,049 --> 00:59:58,020 Saying something negative to a pretty girl in order to undermine her social value. 884 00:59:58,178 --> 01:00:00,226 It's supposed to make you want to win his approval. 885 01:00:00,806 --> 01:00:03,855 Absurdly basic neuro-linguistic programming technique. 886 01:00:04,017 --> 01:00:06,145 Is it just me, or does this champagne taste a little bit funny? 887 01:00:06,311 --> 01:00:08,188 - It's an acquired taste, mate. - I think it's just cheap. 888 01:00:08,355 --> 01:00:10,198 Get one of these instead. They're delicious. 889 01:00:10,357 --> 01:00:13,076 If you're into seduction techniques, this guy is textbook. 890 01:00:13,235 --> 01:00:15,988 See what he just did? It's called an opinion opener. 891 01:00:16,154 --> 01:00:17,656 He got you talking with a neutral question... 892 01:00:17,823 --> 01:00:19,583 got all of us involved in the conversation... 893 01:00:19,699 --> 01:00:21,372 so that you craved individual attention. 894 01:00:22,077 --> 01:00:23,420 No, I'm just saying the champagne tastes rank. 895 01:00:23,578 --> 01:00:25,330 Lady Sophie Montague-Herring. 896 01:00:25,497 --> 01:00:26,794 Phone call for you at reception. 897 01:00:26,957 --> 01:00:28,797 - Be right back. - We'll see you in a bit, yeah? 898 01:00:28,834 --> 01:00:30,211 See you in a bit. 899 01:00:30,377 --> 01:00:32,220 Budge up, Rox. I'm feeling a bit rough. 900 01:00:32,379 --> 01:00:33,881 - Are you all right? - No. 901 01:00:34,047 --> 01:00:35,094 Sorry to eavesdrop... 902 01:00:35,257 --> 01:00:38,807 but there's a much easier way to guarantee getting someone home. 903 01:00:39,010 --> 01:00:40,557 Rohypnol. 904 01:00:42,722 --> 01:00:44,474 Or even something stronger. 905 01:01:02,033 --> 01:01:03,706 Who the fuck are you? 906 01:01:04,286 --> 01:01:05,708 Where am I? 907 01:01:08,123 --> 01:01:09,295 This knife... 908 01:01:09,457 --> 01:01:11,505 can save your life. 909 01:01:15,755 --> 01:01:16,756 Fuck! 910 01:01:17,174 --> 01:01:19,973 My employer's got two questions for you, Eggsy. 911 01:01:20,135 --> 01:01:22,012 What the fuck is Kingsman? 912 01:01:22,179 --> 01:01:23,806 And who's Harry Hart? 913 01:01:23,972 --> 01:01:25,815 I don't know who the fuck that is! 914 01:01:25,974 --> 01:01:26,770 Shit! 915 01:01:26,933 --> 01:01:30,733 Eggsy, I just killed two of your friends who gave me the same bullshit answer! 916 01:01:31,354 --> 01:01:32,354 Fuck! 917 01:01:32,731 --> 01:01:35,280 Just cut the fucking ropes, please! 918 01:01:35,442 --> 01:01:36,489 Hey, Eggsy! 919 01:01:36,651 --> 01:01:37,994 Is Kingsman worth dying for? 920 01:01:40,197 --> 01:01:41,574 Fuck you! 921 01:01:55,879 --> 01:01:57,176 Congratulations. 922 01:01:57,339 --> 01:01:58,556 Bloody well done. 923 01:02:00,842 --> 01:02:02,435 How did the others do? 924 01:02:02,594 --> 01:02:04,392 Roxy passed with flying colors. 925 01:02:04,930 --> 01:02:07,183 Charlie's up next. Want to watch? 926 01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:10,068 Yeah, all right. 927 01:02:12,562 --> 01:02:14,610 Is Kingsman really worth dying for? 928 01:02:14,773 --> 01:02:16,116 No, it fucking isn't! 929 01:02:16,274 --> 01:02:18,117 Shit, I'll tell you what you want. Please! 930 01:02:18,276 --> 01:02:19,573 Chester King is Arthur. 931 01:02:19,736 --> 01:02:21,955 Arthur's head of a spy agency. It's called Kingsman. 932 01:02:22,113 --> 01:02:23,793 - Get me out of here! - Thank you, Charlie. 933 01:02:23,823 --> 01:02:25,166 Much appreciated. 934 01:02:25,325 --> 01:02:27,703 Come on! That wasn't the fucking deal! 935 01:02:28,119 --> 01:02:30,417 Fuck! 936 01:02:37,420 --> 01:02:39,718 I had such high hopes for you. 937 01:02:39,923 --> 01:02:41,846 You're a bloody disgrace. 938 01:02:42,008 --> 01:02:43,009 Arthur, I'm sorry. 939 01:02:43,843 --> 01:02:45,186 At least untie me. 940 01:02:45,512 --> 01:02:46,855 Untie yourself. 941 01:02:48,515 --> 01:02:50,688 Arthur, please. 942 01:02:52,018 --> 01:02:54,567 I'm the fucking son of the... Shit! 943 01:02:54,729 --> 01:02:57,232 Anyone? Hello? 944 01:02:57,399 --> 01:02:59,948 Galahad, Percival, congratulations. 945 01:03:00,235 --> 01:03:03,034 Your candidates have reached the final stage of the testing process. 946 01:03:03,196 --> 01:03:06,746 As tradition allows, you now have 24 hours to spend with them. 947 01:03:07,367 --> 01:03:10,541 Eggsy, you should know your father reached this point. 948 01:03:11,288 --> 01:03:12,289 From now on... 949 01:03:12,747 --> 01:03:14,227 there are no safety nets, understood? 950 01:03:18,086 --> 01:03:19,086 Good. Dismissed. 951 01:03:22,924 --> 01:03:25,052 Charlie, time to go home. 952 01:03:25,218 --> 01:03:26,561 Fuck you. 953 01:03:26,970 --> 01:03:29,223 Fucking dad's gonna hear about this! 954 01:03:31,391 --> 01:03:32,392 "To pee or not to pee?" 955 01:03:34,644 --> 01:03:35,645 That was the headline... 956 01:03:35,729 --> 01:03:38,403 the day after I defused a dirty bomb in Paris. 957 01:03:38,898 --> 01:03:40,571 "Germany, 1, England, 5." 958 01:03:40,734 --> 01:03:41,826 Missed that game. 959 01:03:41,985 --> 01:03:44,955 I was breaking up an undercover spy ring at the Pentagon. 960 01:03:50,452 --> 01:03:51,749 My first mission. 961 01:03:51,911 --> 01:03:53,711 Foiled the assassination of Margaret Thatcher. 962 01:03:54,914 --> 01:03:56,594 Not everybody would thank you for that one. 963 01:03:56,666 --> 01:03:59,419 The point is, Eggsy, nobody thanked me for any of them. 964 01:04:00,086 --> 01:04:03,636 Front page news on all these occasions was celebrity nonsense. 965 01:04:03,923 --> 01:04:07,473 Because it's the nature of Kingsman that our achievements remain secret. 966 01:04:07,927 --> 01:04:11,272 A gentleman's name should appear in the newspaper only three times. 967 01:04:11,431 --> 01:04:13,775 When he's born, when he marries, and when he dies. 968 01:04:13,933 --> 01:04:17,107 And we are, first and foremost, gentlemen. 969 01:04:17,437 --> 01:04:18,780 That's me fucked then. 970 01:04:19,773 --> 01:04:21,650 It's like Charlie said. I'm just a pleb. 971 01:04:21,816 --> 01:04:22,817 Nonsense. 972 01:04:22,984 --> 01:04:25,904 Being a gentleman has nothing to do with the circumstances of one's birth. 973 01:04:26,446 --> 01:04:28,289 Being a gentleman is something one learns. 974 01:04:29,032 --> 01:04:30,875 Yeah, but how? 975 01:04:31,785 --> 01:04:33,037 All right, first lesson. 976 01:04:33,203 --> 01:04:35,003 You should've asked me before you took a seat. 977 01:04:36,498 --> 01:04:37,624 Second lesson... 978 01:04:38,625 --> 01:04:39,968 how to make a proper martini. 979 01:04:40,960 --> 01:04:43,054 Yes, Harry. 980 01:04:45,632 --> 01:04:48,681 Goddamn it! This fucking hurts! 981 01:04:49,177 --> 01:04:51,680 You're the one who asked for a biometric security system. 982 01:04:51,846 --> 01:04:52,972 What's wrong with a simple switch? 983 01:04:53,139 --> 01:04:54,140 A simple switch? 984 01:04:54,307 --> 01:04:57,982 This is an extremely dangerous machine. 985 01:04:58,144 --> 01:05:02,695 It should only be operated by someone as responsible and sane as me. 986 01:05:02,899 --> 01:05:05,152 Bad shit could happen if this falls into the wrong hands. 987 01:05:08,363 --> 01:05:10,036 We done here? Shit! 988 01:05:10,198 --> 01:05:12,826 No. Now this one. 989 01:05:12,992 --> 01:05:14,072 For the test at the church. 990 01:05:14,202 --> 01:05:16,045 This one just has a short range. 991 01:05:16,204 --> 01:05:17,751 A simple switch will do. 992 01:05:23,711 --> 01:05:26,590 So are you gonna teach me how to talk proper, like in My Fair Lady? 993 01:05:26,756 --> 01:05:28,224 Don't be absurd. 994 01:05:28,508 --> 01:05:31,057 Being a gentleman has nothing to do with one's accent. 995 01:05:31,219 --> 01:05:33,517 It's about being at ease in one's own skin. 996 01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:35,227 As Hemingway said, "There is nothing noble... 997 01:05:35,390 --> 01:05:37,768 "in being superior to your fellow man. 998 01:05:38,184 --> 01:05:41,688 "True nobility is being superior to your former self." 999 01:05:45,400 --> 01:05:48,745 Now, the first thing every gentleman needs is a good suit. 1000 01:05:48,903 --> 01:05:52,203 By which I mean, a bespoke suit. Never off-the-peg. 1001 01:05:52,365 --> 01:05:54,743 And Kingsman suits are always bulletproof. 1002 01:05:54,909 --> 01:05:57,708 So let's get you measured, and then, whether you get the job or not... 1003 01:05:57,871 --> 01:06:02,251 you'll have a lasting and useful memento of your time at Kingsman. 1004 01:06:02,417 --> 01:06:06,047 I'm so sorry, sir, but a gentleman is completing his fitting. 1005 01:06:06,212 --> 01:06:08,385 Fitting Room Two is available. 1006 01:06:08,548 --> 01:06:12,553 One does not use Fitting Room Two when one is popping one's cherry. 1007 01:06:13,636 --> 01:06:16,435 Perhaps I'll show you Fitting Room Three while we wait. 1008 01:06:26,816 --> 01:06:28,068 So we going up or down? 1009 01:06:28,234 --> 01:06:29,406 Neither. 1010 01:06:30,653 --> 01:06:31,654 Is this it? 1011 01:06:31,821 --> 01:06:34,916 Of course not. Pull the hook on your left. 1012 01:06:42,165 --> 01:06:43,165 Oh, yes. 1013 01:06:43,416 --> 01:06:45,589 Very, very nice. 1014 01:06:48,630 --> 01:06:51,133 You're going to need a pair of shoes to go with your suit. 1015 01:06:51,299 --> 01:06:55,429 An oxford is any formal shoe with open lacing. 1016 01:06:55,595 --> 01:06:58,815 This additional decorative piece is called broguing. 1017 01:06:58,973 --> 01:07:00,145 "Oxfords not brogues." 1018 01:07:00,308 --> 01:07:01,935 Words to live by, Eggsy. 1019 01:07:02,143 --> 01:07:04,771 Words to live by. Try a pair. 1020 01:07:05,522 --> 01:07:07,282 Your weapon scores are excellent, by the way. 1021 01:07:08,441 --> 01:07:11,695 These you are familiar with, and this is our standard issue pistol. 1022 01:07:11,861 --> 01:07:13,488 It's quite unique, as you'll see. 1023 01:07:13,655 --> 01:07:17,000 It also fires a shotgun cartridge for use in messy close-range situations. 1024 01:07:17,158 --> 01:07:18,626 - How do they feel? - Yeah, good. 1025 01:07:18,785 --> 01:07:20,128 Now do your very best impersonation... 1026 01:07:20,286 --> 01:07:21,959 of a German aristocrat's formal greeting. 1027 01:07:25,500 --> 01:07:26,717 No, Eggsy. 1028 01:07:30,838 --> 01:07:32,090 That is sick. 1029 01:07:33,132 --> 01:07:35,252 In the old days, they had a phone in the heel as well. 1030 01:07:35,260 --> 01:07:36,307 How do I get it back in? 1031 01:07:36,469 --> 01:07:40,349 Well, it's coated in one of the fastest acting neurotoxins known to man... 1032 01:07:40,515 --> 01:07:42,017 so very carefully. 1033 01:07:43,935 --> 01:07:47,656 Now, I've had a lot of fun with this. 1034 01:07:47,814 --> 01:07:50,818 One of our finest examples of chemical engineering. 1035 01:07:50,984 --> 01:07:53,487 A poison, harmless when ingested... 1036 01:07:53,653 --> 01:07:55,530 but at a time convenient to you... 1037 01:07:55,697 --> 01:07:59,702 can be remotely activated. Primed. 1038 01:08:01,160 --> 01:08:02,160 Lethal. 1039 01:08:03,371 --> 01:08:05,499 What about these? What do these do? 1040 01:08:05,873 --> 01:08:07,841 - Electrocute you? - Don't be ridiculous. 1041 01:08:08,001 --> 01:08:09,844 - It's a hand grenade. - Shut up! 1042 01:08:10,003 --> 01:08:12,443 If you want to electrocute someone, you'll need a signet ring. 1043 01:08:12,463 --> 01:08:14,557 A gentleman traditionally wears the signet on his left hand. 1044 01:08:14,716 --> 01:08:17,686 But a Kingsman wears it on whichever hand happens to be dominant. 1045 01:08:17,844 --> 01:08:19,284 Touch the contact behind the ring... 1046 01:08:19,345 --> 01:08:20,471 it delivers 50,000 volts. 1047 01:08:22,390 --> 01:08:24,859 And what about them? What makes them so special? 1048 01:08:25,018 --> 01:08:26,019 Nothing. 1049 01:08:26,185 --> 01:08:28,904 That technology has caught up with the spy world. 1050 01:08:29,897 --> 01:08:31,695 Put it back, Eggsy. 1051 01:08:34,068 --> 01:08:35,536 Perfect timing. 1052 01:08:35,695 --> 01:08:37,572 The gentleman's just finished. 1053 01:08:42,702 --> 01:08:44,045 Mr. DeVere! 1054 01:08:45,538 --> 01:08:47,211 What a coincidence. 1055 01:08:47,832 --> 01:08:50,711 You are totally the reason I'm here. 1056 01:08:50,918 --> 01:08:52,044 When you left my house... 1057 01:08:52,211 --> 01:08:56,011 I was thirsting for that dope-ass smoking jacket you had on. 1058 01:08:56,174 --> 01:08:57,676 And since I'm going to Royal Ascot... 1059 01:08:57,842 --> 01:09:00,002 and, apparently, you need one of these penguin suits... 1060 01:09:00,428 --> 01:09:01,600 here I am. 1061 01:09:02,180 --> 01:09:03,181 What are you doing here? 1062 01:09:03,431 --> 01:09:04,774 What's up, man? 1063 01:09:04,932 --> 01:09:06,058 Richmond Valentine. 1064 01:09:06,392 --> 01:09:09,396 This is my new valet. I was just introducing him to my tailor. 1065 01:09:09,562 --> 01:09:12,406 Another coincidence. So am I. 1066 01:09:12,774 --> 01:09:14,974 Have you had any chance to think further on my proposal? 1067 01:09:15,026 --> 01:09:16,027 Most definitely. 1068 01:09:16,235 --> 01:09:19,239 My people will be getting in touch with you very soon. 1069 01:09:19,405 --> 01:09:20,873 I guarantee it. 1070 01:09:21,574 --> 01:09:22,917 A word of advice. 1071 01:09:23,242 --> 01:09:25,461 Ascot requires top hat. 1072 01:09:26,454 --> 01:09:29,583 I might suggest Lock and Co. Hatters. 1073 01:09:30,416 --> 01:09:31,463 Saint James's. 1074 01:09:31,626 --> 01:09:32,878 "Lox" as in smoked fish? 1075 01:09:33,211 --> 01:09:35,760 As in, "locked up." 1076 01:09:38,800 --> 01:09:41,724 I have trouble understanding you people sometimes. 1077 01:09:42,303 --> 01:09:44,397 You all talk so funny. 1078 01:09:51,396 --> 01:09:54,491 Gentlemen, would you look after him, please? 1079 01:10:06,994 --> 01:10:08,291 Now this... 1080 01:10:08,454 --> 01:10:10,331 is a dope-ass top hat. 1081 01:10:11,999 --> 01:10:15,299 Gazelle, let's go ascoting. 1082 01:10:16,796 --> 01:10:18,013 Your hat looks fine, Gazelle. 1083 01:10:18,172 --> 01:10:21,016 Come on! Don't make me late for the queen. 1084 01:10:21,759 --> 01:10:24,433 Come on, Gazelle! We're gonna be late. 1085 01:10:24,595 --> 01:10:26,142 How far is Ascot? 1086 01:10:26,597 --> 01:10:27,644 How far? 1087 01:10:31,853 --> 01:10:33,373 Merlin said you wanted to see me, sir? 1088 01:10:33,646 --> 01:10:35,148 Sit down. 1089 01:10:40,361 --> 01:10:41,613 Pretty dog. 1090 01:10:42,029 --> 01:10:43,326 What's his name? 1091 01:10:43,489 --> 01:10:44,490 J.B. 1092 01:10:44,657 --> 01:10:46,830 - As in "James Bond"? - No. 1093 01:10:47,118 --> 01:10:48,620 "Jason Bourne"? 1094 01:10:48,786 --> 01:10:50,788 No. "Jack Bauer." 1095 01:10:51,122 --> 01:10:52,169 Oh! 1096 01:10:52,832 --> 01:10:53,833 Bravo. 1097 01:10:54,500 --> 01:10:55,626 It pains me to admit it... 1098 01:10:55,793 --> 01:10:58,672 but I think that one day, you might be as good a spy... 1099 01:10:58,838 --> 01:11:00,306 as any of them. 1100 01:11:07,346 --> 01:11:09,019 Take it. 1101 01:11:15,855 --> 01:11:17,072 Shoot the dog. 1102 01:11:23,863 --> 01:11:25,160 This weapon is live. 1103 01:11:28,367 --> 01:11:29,367 Shoot the dog. 1104 01:12:08,032 --> 01:12:09,079 Give me the gun. 1105 01:12:20,419 --> 01:12:22,137 At least the girl's got balls. 1106 01:12:25,758 --> 01:12:26,759 Get out. 1107 01:12:27,426 --> 01:12:29,428 I knew you couldn't make it. 1108 01:12:32,723 --> 01:12:34,066 Go home. 1109 01:12:35,560 --> 01:12:38,404 Merlin, send in Roxy, please. 1110 01:13:02,169 --> 01:13:05,173 Welcome to Kingsman... 1111 01:13:06,132 --> 01:13:07,258 Lancelot. 1112 01:13:30,615 --> 01:13:31,616 Mum! 1113 01:13:32,033 --> 01:13:33,159 Eggsy! 1114 01:13:33,367 --> 01:13:34,664 Oh, God. Where have you been? 1115 01:13:34,827 --> 01:13:36,829 I've been so worried about you. 1116 01:13:38,789 --> 01:13:42,043 Oh, my days. Look how big you've grown! 1117 01:13:47,840 --> 01:13:49,888 - Where is he? - I'm fine. 1118 01:13:50,051 --> 01:13:51,724 Eggsy, please, just don't get involved. 1119 01:13:51,886 --> 01:13:53,559 I should never have left you on your own. 1120 01:13:53,721 --> 01:13:56,144 This stops right now. 1121 01:13:56,307 --> 01:13:57,399 I'll be right back. 1122 01:13:57,558 --> 01:13:59,151 Eggsy. 1123 01:14:01,520 --> 01:14:02,863 Oi, Dean! 1124 01:14:03,856 --> 01:14:05,699 Mugsy, so you're back. 1125 01:14:05,858 --> 01:14:07,735 What, you gone and nicked a fucking taxi, now? 1126 01:14:07,902 --> 01:14:09,324 Yeah. 1127 01:14:09,487 --> 01:14:11,535 Can I have a word about my mum's black eye? 1128 01:14:12,531 --> 01:14:14,249 You want to have a word with me, you get out of that cab... 1129 01:14:14,408 --> 01:14:16,568 I'll knock you straight back down on your fucking arse. 1130 01:14:18,329 --> 01:14:20,331 Tell your muppets to go inside, then I'll get out. 1131 01:14:22,583 --> 01:14:24,506 Go on, lads. It'll be two hits. 1132 01:14:24,669 --> 01:14:26,717 Me hitting him, him hitting the floor. 1133 01:14:27,213 --> 01:14:29,557 Come on, then, you prick. 1134 01:14:29,715 --> 01:14:31,592 Let's see what you got. Want a bit of me? 1135 01:14:31,759 --> 01:14:32,555 What are you doing? 1136 01:14:32,718 --> 01:14:33,718 No, no, no! 1137 01:14:33,761 --> 01:14:34,557 Get out of the fucking car! 1138 01:14:34,720 --> 01:14:36,597 What are you doing? Where you going, you mug? 1139 01:14:36,764 --> 01:14:38,061 Go on, you got no bollocks! 1140 01:14:38,849 --> 01:14:40,851 Come on, bruv, he hit my fucking mum! 1141 01:14:41,018 --> 01:14:42,418 Come back when you've grown a pair! 1142 01:14:42,561 --> 01:14:43,561 Mugsy! 1143 01:15:06,335 --> 01:15:07,336 You throw away... 1144 01:15:07,503 --> 01:15:11,474 your biggest opportunity over a fucking dog. 1145 01:15:12,466 --> 01:15:14,810 And then you humiliate me by stealing my boss's car. 1146 01:15:15,052 --> 01:15:17,146 You shot a dog just to get a fucking job. 1147 01:15:17,555 --> 01:15:18,556 Yes, I did. 1148 01:15:21,559 --> 01:15:25,439 And Mr. Pickle here reminds me of that every time I take a shit! 1149 01:15:27,023 --> 01:15:29,526 You shot your dog and had it stuffed? 1150 01:15:29,692 --> 01:15:30,909 You fucking freak. 1151 01:15:31,068 --> 01:15:32,445 No, I shot my dog... 1152 01:15:32,611 --> 01:15:34,284 and then I brought him home and continued to care for him... 1153 01:15:34,447 --> 01:15:36,870 for the next 11 years until he died of pancreatitis. 1154 01:15:37,616 --> 01:15:40,244 - What? - It was a blank, Eggsy. 1155 01:15:41,412 --> 01:15:43,085 It was a fucking blank. 1156 01:15:43,873 --> 01:15:45,250 Remember Amelia? 1157 01:15:45,416 --> 01:15:46,167 Yeah. 1158 01:15:46,333 --> 01:15:47,459 She didn't drown. 1159 01:15:47,626 --> 01:15:50,379 She works in our tech department in Berlin. She's fine. 1160 01:15:50,546 --> 01:15:51,763 Limits must be tested... 1161 01:15:51,922 --> 01:15:54,550 a Kingsman only condones the risking of a life to save another. 1162 01:15:54,717 --> 01:15:57,687 Like my dad saved your life even though your fuck-up cost his. 1163 01:15:57,845 --> 01:15:59,518 Or have you got him stuffed here and all? 1164 01:16:01,557 --> 01:16:04,652 Can't you see that everything I've done has been about trying to repay him? 1165 01:16:10,441 --> 01:16:12,114 Harry, listen to this. 1166 01:16:12,276 --> 01:16:14,076 Valentine is at last saying something of note. 1167 01:16:14,445 --> 01:16:16,698 Do you know what I love about pen and paper? 1168 01:16:17,198 --> 01:16:19,701 Nobody can hack into this shit. 1169 01:16:20,117 --> 01:16:23,462 Our worldwide tour was a complete success. 1170 01:16:23,621 --> 01:16:26,090 We have total coverall. 1171 01:16:26,248 --> 01:16:29,047 Like when all your numbers in bingo are crossed out. 1172 01:16:29,210 --> 01:16:30,210 Bingo? 1173 01:16:30,252 --> 01:16:33,631 Bingo, the game. You have played bingo, right? 1174 01:16:34,507 --> 01:16:36,305 Do I look like I play bingo? 1175 01:16:38,511 --> 01:16:39,558 Point is... 1176 01:16:40,221 --> 01:16:44,692 if our tests go well at the church tomorrow, we are good to go. 1177 01:16:44,850 --> 01:16:47,353 South Glade Mission Church. 1178 01:16:48,270 --> 01:16:50,443 - Merlin, get the plane ready. - Will do. 1179 01:16:50,606 --> 01:16:52,366 Harry, I'm so sorry. I'm gonna do whatever... 1180 01:16:52,399 --> 01:16:53,400 You should be. 1181 01:16:53,567 --> 01:16:56,207 You just stay right there. I'll sort this mess out when I get back. 1182 01:17:02,368 --> 01:17:04,086 And I say to you... 1183 01:17:04,245 --> 01:17:05,497 bear witness! 1184 01:17:05,663 --> 01:17:08,257 Watch the news. Watch the news. 1185 01:17:08,415 --> 01:17:09,712 AIDS! 1186 01:17:10,167 --> 01:17:11,167 Floods! 1187 01:17:11,168 --> 01:17:13,296 The blood of the innocent, spilled! 1188 01:17:13,462 --> 01:17:18,639 And yet, there are those who doubt this is the wrath of God. 1189 01:17:20,469 --> 01:17:27,148 Our filthy government condones sodomy, divorce, abortion! 1190 01:17:27,309 --> 01:17:29,858 And yet, some still doubt... 1191 01:17:30,020 --> 01:17:33,900 this is the work of the antichrist! 1192 01:17:34,066 --> 01:17:38,947 You do not have to be a Jew, a nigger, a whore... 1193 01:17:39,113 --> 01:17:41,866 or an atheistic, science-loving evolution spouter... 1194 01:17:42,199 --> 01:17:43,667 Charming sermon. 1195 01:17:43,826 --> 01:17:45,499 Can you see Valentine anywhere? 1196 01:17:45,661 --> 01:17:47,083 So, my friends... 1197 01:17:47,246 --> 01:17:50,295 although he is a just God, he is justly a vengeful one... 1198 01:17:50,457 --> 01:17:53,427 and there can be no turning back... 1199 01:17:53,586 --> 01:17:55,213 from the almighty wrath... 1200 01:17:55,379 --> 01:17:56,847 Are you sure we're out of range? 1201 01:17:57,089 --> 01:17:58,689 We're over 1,000 feet away. What's wrong? 1202 01:17:58,799 --> 01:18:00,199 What if the calculations are wrong? 1203 01:18:00,217 --> 01:18:01,810 You just have to trust me. 1204 01:18:03,012 --> 01:18:07,483 ...Jew, nigger, fag lovers, and the devil is burning them... 1205 01:18:07,641 --> 01:18:08,938 for all eternity. 1206 01:18:09,101 --> 01:18:10,273 Would you excuse me? 1207 01:18:11,270 --> 01:18:12,270 Where are you going? 1208 01:18:12,938 --> 01:18:14,736 Hey! What's your problem? 1209 01:18:16,317 --> 01:18:17,739 I'm a Catholic whore... 1210 01:18:17,902 --> 01:18:21,497 currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend... 1211 01:18:21,655 --> 01:18:24,204 who works in a military abortion clinic. 1212 01:18:24,783 --> 01:18:26,126 So, hail Satan... 1213 01:18:26,285 --> 01:18:28,287 and have a lovely afternoon, madam. 1214 01:18:31,665 --> 01:18:33,087 Oh, shit. He's leaving. 1215 01:18:33,250 --> 01:18:34,843 I'm starting the test now. 1216 01:18:35,294 --> 01:18:37,388 Let's hope enough of these freaks have our SIM cards. 1217 01:18:40,174 --> 01:18:43,053 I kindly ask you to sit down, my friend! 1218 01:18:43,219 --> 01:18:44,266 Just leave this church! 1219 01:18:44,428 --> 01:18:46,806 You just leave this church like the infidel you are! 1220 01:18:49,350 --> 01:18:52,570 Satan cannot save you now! You will eat your babies. 1221 01:18:52,728 --> 01:18:56,232 You will drown in the blood of the Lord! 1222 01:18:56,398 --> 01:18:57,866 He will not save you! 1223 01:19:04,073 --> 01:19:05,074 Holy fuck! 1224 01:19:06,825 --> 01:19:08,998 Shit, I can't watch this. Get over here. 1225 01:19:50,995 --> 01:19:52,997 Jeez! Fuck. 1226 01:19:53,872 --> 01:19:56,000 Galahad, can you hear me? 1227 01:19:56,417 --> 01:19:57,417 Harry! 1228 01:19:57,793 --> 01:20:00,171 Harry, what the heck is going on? 1229 01:20:01,338 --> 01:20:02,898 Could you turn the volume down, please? 1230 01:20:04,133 --> 01:20:06,101 I didn't expect it to be that effective. 1231 01:20:06,260 --> 01:20:07,740 What kind of response are we talking? 1232 01:20:08,262 --> 01:20:09,263 100 percent. 1233 01:20:10,389 --> 01:20:13,393 So, everyone's been affected, whether they have a SIM card or not. 1234 01:20:13,809 --> 01:20:16,009 And we get the added benefit of wiping out the Kingsman. 1235 01:20:16,603 --> 01:20:18,446 Not yet. 1236 01:21:13,410 --> 01:21:14,707 You need to see this. 1237 01:23:11,778 --> 01:23:13,621 What did you do to me? 1238 01:23:13,947 --> 01:23:15,574 I had no control. 1239 01:23:16,909 --> 01:23:18,377 I killed all those people. 1240 01:23:20,329 --> 01:23:21,546 I wanted to. 1241 01:23:21,705 --> 01:23:22,797 Clever, isn't it? 1242 01:23:22,956 --> 01:23:25,675 In simple terms, it's a neurological wave... 1243 01:23:25,834 --> 01:23:27,474 that triggers the centers of aggression... 1244 01:23:27,544 --> 01:23:29,262 and switches off inhibitors. 1245 01:23:29,796 --> 01:23:32,720 Transmitted through your nasty, free SIM cards, I assume. 1246 01:23:35,969 --> 01:23:37,846 Do you know what this is like? 1247 01:23:38,055 --> 01:23:41,309 It's like those old movies we both love. 1248 01:23:41,475 --> 01:23:44,570 Now, I'm going to tell you my whole plan... 1249 01:23:44,728 --> 01:23:47,982 and then I'm going to come up with some absurd and convoluted way to kill you... 1250 01:23:48,148 --> 01:23:50,776 and you'll find an equally convoluted way to escape. 1251 01:23:51,860 --> 01:23:53,328 Sounds good to me. 1252 01:23:54,071 --> 01:23:56,199 Well, this ain't that kind of movie. 1253 01:23:59,826 --> 01:24:02,329 No! 1254 01:24:10,462 --> 01:24:12,180 Is he dead? 1255 01:24:12,339 --> 01:24:14,808 That tends to happen when you shoot someone in the head. 1256 01:24:15,008 --> 01:24:16,134 It feels good, right? 1257 01:24:16,593 --> 01:24:18,713 No, no, it does not feel good. It feels fucking awful. 1258 01:24:18,845 --> 01:24:21,143 What? You just killed how many people in that church? 1259 01:24:21,306 --> 01:24:22,306 This is one guy. 1260 01:24:22,432 --> 01:24:24,434 No, no, they killed each other. 1261 01:24:27,312 --> 01:24:29,235 Okay, send out the countdown clock. 1262 01:24:29,398 --> 01:24:32,072 This party starts tomorrow. 1263 01:25:06,727 --> 01:25:08,104 Arthur? 1264 01:25:10,230 --> 01:25:11,732 Are you there? 1265 01:25:12,024 --> 01:25:14,197 Sadly, I am. 1266 01:25:14,568 --> 01:25:18,038 Assemble the Kingsmen. 1267 01:25:21,783 --> 01:25:25,879 Can't you see that everything I've done has been about trying to repay him? 1268 01:25:46,391 --> 01:25:48,769 I see a young man with potential... 1269 01:25:49,561 --> 01:25:52,235 who wants to do something good with his life. 1270 01:26:08,914 --> 01:26:11,258 Arthur, Harry's dead. 1271 01:26:11,917 --> 01:26:14,340 Galahad is dead. 1272 01:26:14,503 --> 01:26:16,926 Hence, we have just drunk a toast to him. 1273 01:26:17,589 --> 01:26:20,138 Well, then you know what that psycho's doing. 1274 01:26:20,300 --> 01:26:22,928 How many people around the world have got those SIM cards? 1275 01:26:23,095 --> 01:26:25,473 Valentine can send his signal to any of them, all of them. 1276 01:26:25,639 --> 01:26:27,687 If they all go homicidal at the same time then... 1277 01:26:27,849 --> 01:26:30,147 Indeed, and thanks to Galahad's recordings... 1278 01:26:30,310 --> 01:26:32,938 we have Valentine's confession. 1279 01:26:33,105 --> 01:26:36,484 The intelligence has been passed on to the relevant authorities. 1280 01:26:36,650 --> 01:26:37,993 Our work is complete... 1281 01:26:38,151 --> 01:26:42,622 and a most distinguished legacy for our fallen friend, it is, too. 1282 01:26:43,448 --> 01:26:44,620 And that's it? 1283 01:26:45,784 --> 01:26:46,956 Come sit down, boy. 1284 01:26:50,330 --> 01:26:55,336 This is an 1815 Napoleonic brandy. 1285 01:26:56,378 --> 01:26:59,632 And we only drink it when we lose a Kingsman. 1286 01:27:00,298 --> 01:27:03,302 Galahad was very fond of you. 1287 01:27:05,470 --> 01:27:07,893 And on this occasion... 1288 01:27:08,056 --> 01:27:11,401 I think it's acceptable for us to bend the rules a little. 1289 01:27:13,812 --> 01:27:14,984 Are these all Kingsmen? 1290 01:27:15,147 --> 01:27:17,491 Yes, they're founder members. 1291 01:27:18,859 --> 01:27:20,907 I want you to join me in a toast. 1292 01:27:23,155 --> 01:27:25,157 To Galahad. 1293 01:27:26,158 --> 01:27:27,660 To Galahad. 1294 01:27:32,205 --> 01:27:34,833 Harry says you don't like to break rules, Arthur. 1295 01:27:35,333 --> 01:27:36,425 Why now? 1296 01:27:36,585 --> 01:27:37,837 You're very good, Eggsy. 1297 01:27:38,003 --> 01:27:41,598 Perhaps I will make you my proposal for Galahad's position. 1298 01:27:42,507 --> 01:27:45,226 Provided, of course, that we can see eye to eye... 1299 01:27:45,385 --> 01:27:47,513 on certain political matters. 1300 01:27:50,348 --> 01:27:51,895 Can you guess... 1301 01:27:53,018 --> 01:27:54,611 what this is? 1302 01:27:54,770 --> 01:27:56,443 I don't have to. Harry showed me. 1303 01:27:56,605 --> 01:27:58,107 You click it. I die. 1304 01:27:58,273 --> 01:28:00,071 I thought that brandy tasted a bit shit. 1305 01:28:02,027 --> 01:28:03,027 Bravo. 1306 01:28:03,361 --> 01:28:06,535 Valentine won you over, somehow. 1307 01:28:06,698 --> 01:28:09,542 Once he explained, I understood. 1308 01:28:09,701 --> 01:28:10,953 When you get a virus... 1309 01:28:11,244 --> 01:28:12,461 you get a fever. 1310 01:28:12,621 --> 01:28:16,626 That's the human body raising its core temperature to kill the virus. 1311 01:28:16,792 --> 01:28:19,045 Planet Earth works the same way. 1312 01:28:19,211 --> 01:28:21,134 Global warming is the fever. 1313 01:28:21,296 --> 01:28:24,095 Mankind is the virus. 1314 01:28:24,257 --> 01:28:26,635 We're making our planet sick. 1315 01:28:26,802 --> 01:28:29,396 A cull is our only hope. 1316 01:28:29,554 --> 01:28:31,807 If we don't reduce our population ourselves... 1317 01:28:31,973 --> 01:28:34,567 there is only one of two ways this can go. 1318 01:28:34,726 --> 01:28:38,981 The host kills the virus, or the virus kills the host. 1319 01:28:39,272 --> 01:28:40,272 Either way... 1320 01:28:40,315 --> 01:28:42,784 The result is the same. 1321 01:28:42,943 --> 01:28:44,570 The virus dies. 1322 01:28:45,654 --> 01:28:49,079 So Valentine's gonna take care of the population problem himself. 1323 01:28:49,241 --> 01:28:51,744 Well, if we don't do something, nature will. 1324 01:28:51,910 --> 01:28:56,256 Sometimes a culling is the only way to ensure that this species survives... 1325 01:28:56,957 --> 01:28:59,085 and history will see Valentine... 1326 01:28:59,251 --> 01:29:01,504 as the man who saved humanity from extinction. 1327 01:29:02,087 --> 01:29:05,432 And he gets to pick and choose who gets culled, does he? 1328 01:29:05,590 --> 01:29:06,807 All his rich mates, they get to live... 1329 01:29:06,967 --> 01:29:09,470 and anyone he thinks is worth saving, he's keeping them safe... 1330 01:29:09,636 --> 01:29:11,604 whether they agree with him or not. 1331 01:29:11,763 --> 01:29:13,936 And you, Eggsy. 1332 01:29:14,474 --> 01:29:16,442 In Harry's honor... 1333 01:29:16,601 --> 01:29:21,277 I am inviting you to be part of a new world. 1334 01:29:23,358 --> 01:29:25,656 It's time to make your decision. 1335 01:29:32,534 --> 01:29:34,502 I'd rather be with Harry. 1336 01:29:35,120 --> 01:29:36,120 Thanks. 1337 01:29:36,788 --> 01:29:38,165 So be it. 1338 01:29:54,472 --> 01:29:57,726 The problem with us common types... 1339 01:29:57,893 --> 01:29:59,486 is that we're light-fingered. 1340 01:30:00,687 --> 01:30:02,405 Kingsman's taught me a lot... 1341 01:30:02,564 --> 01:30:03,816 but sleight of hand... 1342 01:30:04,482 --> 01:30:06,234 Yes, they're founder members. 1343 01:30:08,862 --> 01:30:10,159 I had that down already. 1344 01:30:12,490 --> 01:30:16,085 You dirty little fucking... 1345 01:30:16,244 --> 01:30:17,666 prick. 1346 01:30:51,947 --> 01:30:53,699 It's okay, Lancelot. Put it down. 1347 01:30:54,866 --> 01:30:56,413 It's verified. 1348 01:30:58,787 --> 01:31:01,381 Arthur's phone is receiving update texts about getting to safety. 1349 01:31:01,539 --> 01:31:03,291 - We don't have a lot of time. - What are you going to do? 1350 01:31:03,458 --> 01:31:05,586 The question is, what are we going to do? 1351 01:31:05,752 --> 01:31:08,471 God knows who's in Valentine's pocket and who's not. 1352 01:31:09,130 --> 01:31:10,632 We have no choice. 1353 01:31:11,716 --> 01:31:13,810 We are gonna have to deal with this ourselves. 1354 01:31:17,222 --> 01:31:18,565 Follow me. 1355 01:31:37,450 --> 01:31:38,747 What the fuck is this? 1356 01:31:38,910 --> 01:31:40,753 I have no idea. 1357 01:31:41,746 --> 01:31:42,918 What you're playing with... 1358 01:31:43,081 --> 01:31:45,800 is a prototype personal transatmospheric vehicle. 1359 01:31:45,959 --> 01:31:48,257 It was developed as part of Reagan's Star Wars project. 1360 01:31:48,420 --> 01:31:51,344 It's pretty basic, but it should still work. 1361 01:31:51,589 --> 01:31:53,967 We're gonna take out one of Valentine's satellites. 1362 01:31:54,342 --> 01:31:56,811 We're gonna break the chain, stop the signal. 1363 01:31:56,970 --> 01:31:58,890 It'll take him a couple of hours to reroute it... 1364 01:31:59,305 --> 01:32:03,685 which buys us enough time for you to get me into Valentine's mainframe... 1365 01:32:03,852 --> 01:32:05,650 so I can shut it down. 1366 01:32:05,812 --> 01:32:08,110 Lancelot, you're going to be using it. 1367 01:32:08,273 --> 01:32:09,650 Get into your halo suit. 1368 01:32:22,287 --> 01:32:24,407 Swedish Prime Minister, requesting permission to land. 1369 01:32:30,045 --> 01:32:31,797 Permission granted. 1370 01:32:35,383 --> 01:32:37,886 - Please. - Thank you. 1371 01:32:38,053 --> 01:32:40,147 - How many more are we expecting? - Not many. 1372 01:32:40,305 --> 01:32:41,648 Most have their own bunkers. 1373 01:32:41,806 --> 01:32:45,151 I figure we're just getting the really nervous ones. 1374 01:32:45,393 --> 01:32:47,395 Welcome, Prime Minister. 1375 01:32:48,688 --> 01:32:51,658 It seems the implant can emit some kind of counter signal... 1376 01:32:51,816 --> 01:32:55,491 to ensure the wearer remains unaffected by the waves from the SIM cards. 1377 01:32:55,653 --> 01:32:57,701 The waves that turn everyone into a psycho killer. 1378 01:32:57,864 --> 01:33:00,413 Quite. But what he probably didn't tell anyone... 1379 01:33:00,575 --> 01:33:04,830 is it can also super heat their soft tissue at his command. 1380 01:33:04,996 --> 01:33:09,172 Valentine selected his chosen few to get the countdown warning... 1381 01:33:09,334 --> 01:33:12,178 but he had to be sure they didn't blab to the wrong people beforehand. 1382 01:33:12,337 --> 01:33:14,055 How does this help us right now? 1383 01:33:15,006 --> 01:33:16,007 It doesn't. 1384 01:33:16,382 --> 01:33:17,759 Roxy, here we go! 1385 01:33:30,688 --> 01:33:34,283 The higher you go, the more the balloons expand. 1386 01:33:34,442 --> 01:33:36,285 When you reach the edge of the atmosphere... 1387 01:33:36,444 --> 01:33:38,572 they'll explode. 1388 01:33:38,738 --> 01:33:40,740 You'll need to deploy your missile just before that, okay? 1389 01:33:40,907 --> 01:33:42,250 Edge of the atmosphere. 1390 01:33:42,408 --> 01:33:45,708 And once you've deployed, you'll need to release for descent, fast. 1391 01:33:46,704 --> 01:33:47,956 Good luck. 1392 01:33:50,291 --> 01:33:52,293 - You can do this, okay? - Yeah. 1393 01:33:52,460 --> 01:33:55,259 Eggsy, come on. Time is not our friend. 1394 01:34:17,735 --> 01:34:19,737 You're getting in on Arthur's invitation. 1395 01:34:19,904 --> 01:34:21,121 You're gonna need to blend in. 1396 01:34:21,281 --> 01:34:22,407 I'm supposed to be Arthur? 1397 01:34:22,574 --> 01:34:25,578 His invitation is in his phone. You give them this. 1398 01:34:25,743 --> 01:34:28,246 - Give his real name, Chester King. - What about you? 1399 01:34:28,413 --> 01:34:29,853 I'm your pilot. I'm gonna stay here. 1400 01:34:30,915 --> 01:34:32,007 Is that gonna fit me? 1401 01:34:32,167 --> 01:34:34,670 A bespoke suit always fits. 1402 01:34:34,836 --> 01:34:36,634 Just be grateful Harry had it made for you. 1403 01:34:37,589 --> 01:34:38,590 Get dressed. 1404 01:34:40,049 --> 01:34:41,329 What the fuck's wrong with them? 1405 01:34:41,426 --> 01:34:44,179 I don't know. Could have something to do with the mass genocide. 1406 01:34:44,345 --> 01:34:46,268 Give me the mic. 1407 01:34:48,099 --> 01:34:49,646 Hey-oh! 1408 01:34:49,809 --> 01:34:52,733 Everybody, listen up! Hello, hello! 1409 01:34:52,896 --> 01:34:55,115 What the fuck is wrong with you people? 1410 01:34:55,273 --> 01:34:58,117 I just wanna remind you that today... 1411 01:34:58,276 --> 01:35:00,870 is a day of celebration. 1412 01:35:01,696 --> 01:35:05,200 We must put aside all thoughts of death... 1413 01:35:05,366 --> 01:35:07,243 and focus on birth. 1414 01:35:08,328 --> 01:35:10,751 The birth of a new age. 1415 01:35:11,956 --> 01:35:16,928 We mustn't mourn those who give their lives today. 1416 01:35:17,086 --> 01:35:19,054 We should honor their sacrifice... 1417 01:35:19,214 --> 01:35:21,216 Has she got my number to call me back? I got a new phone. 1418 01:35:21,382 --> 01:35:24,556 ...and their roles in saving the human race. 1419 01:35:26,971 --> 01:35:30,646 We must put aside doubt and guilt. 1420 01:35:32,060 --> 01:35:35,610 You are the chosen people. 1421 01:35:37,232 --> 01:35:40,702 When folks tell their kids the story of Noah's Ark... 1422 01:35:40,860 --> 01:35:41,860 is Noah the bad guy? 1423 01:35:41,986 --> 01:35:42,657 No! 1424 01:35:42,820 --> 01:35:44,822 Is God the bad guy? 1425 01:35:44,989 --> 01:35:45,660 No! 1426 01:35:45,823 --> 01:35:48,246 How about the animals marching two by two? 1427 01:35:48,409 --> 01:35:49,205 No! 1428 01:35:49,369 --> 01:35:50,369 Of course not! 1429 01:35:51,287 --> 01:35:52,630 Yeah, that's it! 1430 01:35:52,789 --> 01:35:56,589 Let's turn those frowns upside down. 1431 01:35:56,751 --> 01:35:58,594 Eat, drink... 1432 01:35:58,753 --> 01:36:00,426 and Party! 1433 01:36:03,466 --> 01:36:06,015 And I will see you all in the new age. 1434 01:36:31,244 --> 01:36:33,372 Rox, it's me. 1435 01:36:33,871 --> 01:36:35,214 How's the view? 1436 01:36:38,042 --> 01:36:40,136 - Hideous - Mine's pretty sweet. 1437 01:36:40,295 --> 01:36:43,219 - They made you one of these suits yet? - No, not yet. 1438 01:36:43,381 --> 01:36:45,725 You've got something to look forward to then. 1439 01:36:45,883 --> 01:36:48,477 We're coming up on Valentine's base. Gotta go. 1440 01:36:49,929 --> 01:36:51,226 Good luck. 1441 01:36:58,896 --> 01:36:59,897 Looking good, Eggsy. 1442 01:37:02,567 --> 01:37:05,286 Feeling good, Merlin. 1443 01:37:10,575 --> 01:37:12,168 This is November-2-4-7-Charlie-Kilo. .. 1444 01:37:12,327 --> 01:37:14,750 Requesting permission to land. 1445 01:37:17,749 --> 01:37:20,298 Permission is granted. 1446 01:37:23,963 --> 01:37:25,761 Fuck me. 1447 01:37:52,950 --> 01:37:55,419 Eggsy, we're on. 1448 01:38:10,134 --> 01:38:11,135 Chester King. 1449 01:38:12,136 --> 01:38:14,104 Mr. King, welcome. 1450 01:38:14,472 --> 01:38:18,272 I'm sure you've adhered to Valentine's strict no-weapons policy... 1451 01:38:18,434 --> 01:38:19,777 - but if you don't object... - Of course. 1452 01:38:19,936 --> 01:38:21,153 Thank you. 1453 01:38:21,646 --> 01:38:23,774 Do you have any luggage? 1454 01:38:24,774 --> 01:38:28,199 Congratulations, Mycroft, you just graduated from my pilot to my valet. 1455 01:38:28,820 --> 01:38:31,289 - You cheeky... Understood? 1456 01:38:31,447 --> 01:38:32,699 Good. 1457 01:38:33,991 --> 01:38:35,618 Thank you. 1458 01:39:00,893 --> 01:39:05,524 Eggsy, find a laptop, get me online. The clock is ticking. 1459 01:39:06,691 --> 01:39:09,410 And remember, try to blend in. 1460 01:39:09,569 --> 01:39:11,537 Would sir care for a drink? 1461 01:39:12,155 --> 01:39:13,372 Martini. 1462 01:39:13,531 --> 01:39:15,704 Gin, not vodka, obviously. 1463 01:39:15,867 --> 01:39:19,588 Stirred for 10 seconds while glancing at an unopened bottle of vermouth. 1464 01:39:20,204 --> 01:39:21,421 Thank you. 1465 01:39:24,208 --> 01:39:26,006 Merlin, are you clocking this? 1466 01:39:26,210 --> 01:39:28,258 Yes, I am. Stay focused. 1467 01:39:28,880 --> 01:39:31,053 Lancelot, you're doing great. Not much further to go. 1468 01:39:31,757 --> 01:39:32,883 Yes, Merlin. 1469 01:39:34,385 --> 01:39:36,683 Eggsy, get me online now. 1470 01:39:37,597 --> 01:39:38,598 Yep, I'm on it. 1471 01:39:39,765 --> 01:39:41,893 Lancelot, you're approaching your altitude limit. 1472 01:39:42,226 --> 01:39:44,024 Those balloons won't last much longer. 1473 01:39:44,896 --> 01:39:46,864 Prepare to engage missile. 1474 01:40:02,246 --> 01:40:03,463 Society's dead. 1475 01:40:03,915 --> 01:40:05,758 Long live society. 1476 01:40:06,751 --> 01:40:08,094 Amen to that. 1477 01:40:09,545 --> 01:40:11,593 - I'm Morten Lindström. - Chester King. 1478 01:40:11,923 --> 01:40:13,266 How'd you get online? I couldn't. 1479 01:40:13,633 --> 01:40:16,603 It's a closed network, you see. Pre-authorized connections only. 1480 01:40:20,806 --> 01:40:22,103 I've got a fix on the satellite. 1481 01:40:22,266 --> 01:40:23,426 Do you have the correct time? 1482 01:40:23,559 --> 01:40:24,776 I think I'm still in my last time zone. 1483 01:40:24,936 --> 01:40:26,313 Yeah, yeah. Let's see now. 1484 01:40:40,409 --> 01:40:41,410 Eggsy, I'm in. 1485 01:40:41,577 --> 01:40:42,669 Get your arse back to the plane, now. 1486 01:40:42,828 --> 01:40:44,421 - On my way. - Lancelot, good luck! 1487 01:40:44,580 --> 01:40:46,753 Firing in 3... 2... 1488 01:40:54,131 --> 01:40:55,132 Nice and slow. 1489 01:40:55,299 --> 01:40:56,471 Fuck are you doing here? 1490 01:40:56,634 --> 01:40:58,978 Well, my family were invited, obviously. 1491 01:40:59,136 --> 01:41:00,763 Now, get the fuck up! Slowly. 1492 01:41:01,973 --> 01:41:03,850 Shit. Lancelot, hurry up and fire! 1493 01:41:04,016 --> 01:41:05,609 That other balloon is gonna blow! 1494 01:41:05,768 --> 01:41:08,817 Yes, Merlin. I've nearly got it. Give me a second! 1495 01:41:10,690 --> 01:41:13,614 Valentine! I've caught a fucking spy! 1496 01:41:14,277 --> 01:41:15,324 V-Glass, zoom. 1497 01:41:15,486 --> 01:41:17,534 Oh, fuck! It's that young valet. 1498 01:41:21,659 --> 01:41:23,036 Son of a bitch. 1499 01:41:23,619 --> 01:41:24,711 Got it! 1500 01:41:34,839 --> 01:41:36,136 Oh, shit. Sound the alarm! 1501 01:41:38,676 --> 01:41:39,756 I'm not taking any chances. 1502 01:41:39,885 --> 01:41:41,525 Okay, you send out the two-minute warning. 1503 01:41:41,554 --> 01:41:44,023 I'm starting the override. All right, let's do this. 1504 01:41:45,349 --> 01:41:46,976 Countdown initiated. 1505 01:41:56,694 --> 01:41:58,367 - You see him? - Right here. 1506 01:42:07,163 --> 01:42:08,415 Eggsy, take a left. 1507 01:42:09,206 --> 01:42:10,207 Two guards, up ahead. 1508 01:42:22,553 --> 01:42:23,850 Lancelot! Release now! 1509 01:42:34,899 --> 01:42:36,697 Eggsy, straight ahead, then right. 1510 01:42:37,068 --> 01:42:38,069 There's two more. 1511 01:42:41,781 --> 01:42:43,875 All right, everybody on your feet! 1512 01:42:44,033 --> 01:42:45,250 Countdown to V-day! 1513 01:42:45,409 --> 01:42:46,911 Welcome in the new age! 1514 01:42:55,294 --> 01:42:56,386 Flat spin. 1515 01:43:11,560 --> 01:43:14,404 Eggsy, next left, down the narrow tunnel! 1516 01:43:23,155 --> 01:43:24,156 Here we go! 1517 01:43:24,323 --> 01:43:25,323 10... 1518 01:43:25,950 --> 01:43:27,293 9... 1519 01:43:27,785 --> 01:43:28,785 8... 1520 01:43:29,453 --> 01:43:30,453 7... 1521 01:43:31,372 --> 01:43:32,372 6... 1522 01:43:33,040 --> 01:43:34,132 5... 1523 01:43:34,709 --> 01:43:35,709 4... 1524 01:43:36,961 --> 01:43:37,712 3... 1525 01:43:37,878 --> 01:43:38,878 2... 1526 01:43:39,630 --> 01:43:40,630 1! 1527 01:43:46,554 --> 01:43:48,397 Nice! Well done, both of you. 1528 01:43:49,140 --> 01:43:50,141 It's not working! 1529 01:43:50,307 --> 01:43:52,355 It's supposed to be working! What the fuck? 1530 01:43:59,150 --> 01:43:59,821 Yes! 1531 01:43:59,984 --> 01:44:01,327 Well done, Rox. Good girl. 1532 01:44:04,697 --> 01:44:07,200 We've lost one of our satellites. 1533 01:44:16,751 --> 01:44:20,506 Oh, no, no. There's no way I can hack past that. 1534 01:44:26,093 --> 01:44:27,094 What's going on? 1535 01:44:28,262 --> 01:44:29,354 Is there a problem? 1536 01:44:30,514 --> 01:44:31,874 Come on. There's no need for guns. 1537 01:44:32,016 --> 01:44:33,518 I'm just a pilot. 1538 01:44:36,520 --> 01:44:37,567 Fuck. Merlin! 1539 01:44:40,357 --> 01:44:41,950 Get in here! 1540 01:44:46,197 --> 01:44:47,369 Come on! 1541 01:44:50,910 --> 01:44:52,253 Let's get the fuck out of here! 1542 01:44:52,411 --> 01:44:53,412 We can't. 1543 01:44:53,579 --> 01:44:55,059 I can't get into Valentine's machine. 1544 01:44:55,206 --> 01:44:56,799 He's got biometric security. 1545 01:44:58,292 --> 01:45:01,592 You're gonna have to get in there and make sure his hand never touches that desk. 1546 01:45:01,754 --> 01:45:03,301 Are you taking the fucking piss? 1547 01:45:03,464 --> 01:45:04,716 I'm afraid not. 1548 01:45:07,885 --> 01:45:08,886 Let's have that then. 1549 01:45:10,554 --> 01:45:11,897 This is mine. 1550 01:45:12,389 --> 01:45:14,312 I'll show you yours. 1551 01:45:31,659 --> 01:45:32,659 Good choice. 1552 01:45:35,287 --> 01:45:36,887 How long to re-link the satellite chain? 1553 01:45:36,997 --> 01:45:38,249 It'll take an hour, maybe two. 1554 01:45:38,415 --> 01:45:40,509 Bullshit! Just bring these two closer together. 1555 01:45:40,668 --> 01:45:42,011 But that's not yours. 1556 01:45:47,675 --> 01:45:49,427 V-Glass, call E-man. 1557 01:45:50,261 --> 01:45:51,604 E, it's V. 1558 01:45:51,762 --> 01:45:53,764 Listen, man, I got a little hiccup on this end. 1559 01:45:53,931 --> 01:45:54,932 I need to piggyback. 1560 01:45:55,099 --> 01:45:59,104 One of my satellites just went down, but it's right next to one of yours. 1561 01:45:59,645 --> 01:46:01,113 You read my mind. 1562 01:46:01,772 --> 01:46:03,365 How long before you make that happen? 1563 01:46:06,443 --> 01:46:07,490 Go. 1564 01:46:11,657 --> 01:46:13,625 All right, we should be coming back online. 1565 01:46:16,537 --> 01:46:17,537 10 percent. 1566 01:46:20,624 --> 01:46:21,375 Shit! 1567 01:46:21,542 --> 01:46:23,340 Eggsy, Valentine's using someone else's satellite. 1568 01:46:23,502 --> 01:46:25,470 He's going to reconnect the chain. 1569 01:46:25,629 --> 01:46:27,149 It's going to take him no time at all. 1570 01:46:28,048 --> 01:46:29,140 It's at 20 percent. 1571 01:46:47,067 --> 01:46:50,321 Eggsy, it seems Valentine's got a present for you. Get a move on! 1572 01:47:23,854 --> 01:47:25,231 Is that Kingsman kid dead yet? 1573 01:47:25,439 --> 01:47:27,066 Not yet, but he will be soon. 1574 01:47:27,232 --> 01:47:28,950 Good. 1575 01:47:41,872 --> 01:47:42,873 Merlin, I'm fucked. 1576 01:47:56,095 --> 01:47:57,096 As am I. 1577 01:47:57,262 --> 01:47:59,606 They're coming at me from both sides. I'm out of options. 1578 01:48:00,057 --> 01:48:02,901 Rox, I need a favor. 1579 01:48:03,060 --> 01:48:04,107 Call my mum. 1580 01:48:04,269 --> 01:48:05,869 Tell her to lock herself away from Dean. 1581 01:48:06,605 --> 01:48:07,605 And the baby... 1582 01:48:09,108 --> 01:48:10,109 and tell her I love her. 1583 01:48:19,076 --> 01:48:20,328 For fuck's sake. 1584 01:48:24,665 --> 01:48:27,839 Merlin, remember those implants you said were of no use to us? 1585 01:48:29,628 --> 01:48:30,908 Any chance you can turn them on? 1586 01:48:34,508 --> 01:48:35,304 All right. 1587 01:48:35,467 --> 01:48:37,936 My turn to play, Valentine. 1588 01:48:46,437 --> 01:48:47,609 Oh, no! 1589 01:48:47,771 --> 01:48:50,194 What the fuck is he doing? I can't stop this. 1590 01:49:03,620 --> 01:49:04,667 Yes, please. 1591 01:49:08,333 --> 01:49:09,505 No! 1592 01:50:06,266 --> 01:50:08,360 Oh, my God! 1593 01:50:08,519 --> 01:50:10,521 That is fucking spectacular! 1594 01:50:10,687 --> 01:50:13,440 Merlin, you're a fucking genius! 1595 01:50:13,607 --> 01:50:16,781 What the fuck is happening out there? 1596 01:50:21,073 --> 01:50:22,370 Aren't you that princess who went missing? 1597 01:50:22,533 --> 01:50:23,580 Can you get me out? 1598 01:50:24,201 --> 01:50:26,124 If I do, will you give me a kiss? 1599 01:50:26,286 --> 01:50:27,806 I've always wanted to kiss a princess. 1600 01:50:27,871 --> 01:50:30,431 If you get me out right now, I'll give you more than just a kiss. 1601 01:50:32,126 --> 01:50:33,378 You motherfucker. 1602 01:50:33,544 --> 01:50:35,387 Did you really think I was stupid enough... 1603 01:50:35,546 --> 01:50:37,719 to implant one of those things in my own head? 1604 01:50:38,173 --> 01:50:39,720 What are you, fucking crazy? 1605 01:50:40,676 --> 01:50:42,974 All those innocent people killed and for what? 1606 01:50:43,846 --> 01:50:46,690 You didn't stop shit! 1607 01:50:48,058 --> 01:50:50,060 Fine, I've locked the door. What do you want me to do now? 1608 01:50:50,227 --> 01:50:53,071 As I said, put your daughter in the bathroom and throw away the key. 1609 01:50:53,856 --> 01:50:56,234 It's still happening! 1610 01:50:56,400 --> 01:50:57,572 You're fucking insane! 1611 01:50:57,734 --> 01:50:58,860 Just do it. 1612 01:51:26,180 --> 01:51:27,523 Eggsy, the signal's started! 1613 01:51:27,681 --> 01:51:30,855 Get Valentine's hand off that bloody desk now! 1614 01:51:31,018 --> 01:51:32,018 Sorry, love. 1615 01:51:32,352 --> 01:51:33,444 Got to save the world. 1616 01:51:33,604 --> 01:51:35,197 If you save the world... 1617 01:51:35,355 --> 01:51:37,028 we can do it in the asshole. 1618 01:51:38,275 --> 01:51:40,198 I'll be right back. 1619 01:51:41,612 --> 01:51:42,612 Good luck! 1620 01:51:49,369 --> 01:51:50,369 London. 1621 01:52:18,815 --> 01:52:19,815 Rio. 1622 01:52:35,832 --> 01:52:36,832 Get down! 1623 01:52:38,835 --> 01:52:39,835 You did it! 1624 01:52:49,263 --> 01:52:51,186 The glass is not gonna hold long. 1625 01:52:52,849 --> 01:52:54,476 You stay here. 1626 01:52:56,687 --> 01:52:57,859 Merlin, quickly, how do I get up there? 1627 01:52:58,188 --> 01:53:00,111 - Keep shooting, I'll find a route. - Understood. 1628 01:53:16,665 --> 01:53:17,757 Holy fuck! 1629 01:53:36,268 --> 01:53:37,565 We're back up. 1630 01:53:38,437 --> 01:53:39,734 We're back up! 1631 01:53:46,737 --> 01:53:48,455 This is great! 1632 01:53:56,580 --> 01:53:57,580 Eggsy! 1633 01:53:57,581 --> 01:53:59,128 Fucking get on with it! 1634 01:53:59,291 --> 01:54:00,508 Kick his ass, Gazy! 1635 01:54:07,132 --> 01:54:09,931 Seoul, Caracas, Mumbai! 1636 01:54:18,310 --> 01:54:20,779 Kill that motherfucker! He killed all our friends! 1637 01:54:38,163 --> 01:54:40,165 Eggsy, the world is going to shit! 1638 01:54:49,549 --> 01:54:51,643 - Is he dead yet? - Not yet! 1639 01:54:51,802 --> 01:54:53,896 Stop playing with your food! 1640 01:54:54,054 --> 01:54:55,055 Kill him! 1641 01:56:13,175 --> 01:56:14,552 Gazelle! 1642 01:56:16,386 --> 01:56:17,558 Gazelle! 1643 01:56:27,189 --> 01:56:28,907 Come on! Come on! 1644 01:56:31,902 --> 01:56:32,902 Kill him! 1645 01:56:50,212 --> 01:56:51,212 Hey! 1646 01:57:15,946 --> 01:57:17,448 Well done, son! 1647 01:57:18,782 --> 01:57:19,782 Yes! 1648 01:57:19,908 --> 01:57:21,080 Yes, Eggsy! 1649 01:57:21,243 --> 01:57:22,790 Well done, Eggsy! 1650 01:57:23,286 --> 01:57:24,458 And you, Lancelot. 1651 01:57:27,207 --> 01:57:29,801 I'm so sorry. Mummy would never hurt you. 1652 01:57:30,418 --> 01:57:33,467 Mummy would never hurt you. I'm so sorry. 1653 01:57:35,966 --> 01:57:36,967 Are you okay? 1654 01:57:40,762 --> 01:57:42,639 Harry would be proud of you, Eggsy. 1655 01:57:43,974 --> 01:57:45,066 He was right. 1656 01:58:00,490 --> 01:58:01,787 What's up, man? 1657 01:58:02,158 --> 01:58:05,503 Is this the part where you say some really bad pun? 1658 01:58:06,997 --> 01:58:08,999 Well, it's like you said to Harry. 1659 01:58:12,168 --> 01:58:14,512 This ain't that kind of movie, bruv. 1660 01:58:16,006 --> 01:58:17,428 Perfect. 1661 01:58:38,320 --> 01:58:39,492 Eggsy, where are you going? 1662 01:58:39,654 --> 01:58:41,894 There's no need for champagne. We got loads in the plane. 1663 01:58:49,039 --> 01:58:50,131 Did you save the world? 1664 01:58:50,707 --> 01:58:52,175 Yes, I did. 1665 01:58:53,501 --> 01:58:56,300 So, you gonna come in? 1666 01:58:57,047 --> 01:58:58,549 Yes, I am. 1667 01:59:04,012 --> 01:59:05,889 Merlin, the cell's locked. How do I get in? 1668 01:59:08,183 --> 01:59:09,730 26-25. 1669 01:59:14,064 --> 01:59:16,658 Merlin, you're the guvnor. 1670 01:59:18,860 --> 01:59:21,238 You owe me, Eggsy. 1671 01:59:26,868 --> 01:59:27,915 Eggsy? 1672 01:59:33,917 --> 01:59:35,590 Oh, my word. 1673 02:00:22,799 --> 02:00:25,643 Michelle, turn that shit off. It's doing my nut in. 1674 02:00:26,636 --> 02:00:28,138 I rather like that song. 1675 02:00:28,680 --> 02:00:30,273 Leave it on, eh, Mum? 1676 02:00:34,018 --> 02:00:35,941 Mugsy's back. 1677 02:00:36,062 --> 02:00:38,462 You've finally come to have that word with me, have you, son? 1678 02:00:38,857 --> 02:00:40,217 Or are you gonna run away again... 1679 02:00:40,316 --> 02:00:41,909 and pretend you're going to court, dressed like that? 1680 02:00:42,360 --> 02:00:43,737 Oh, you mean this? 1681 02:00:45,280 --> 02:00:46,577 No. 1682 02:00:47,198 --> 02:00:50,498 I know this bloke who's just taken over a tailor shop on Savile Row. 1683 02:00:51,578 --> 02:00:53,171 He's given me a job, Mum. 1684 02:00:53,872 --> 02:00:55,169 It comes with a lot of perks. 1685 02:00:56,541 --> 02:00:57,884 Including a house. 1686 02:00:59,043 --> 02:01:00,886 Come and live with me there, Mum. 1687 02:01:01,463 --> 02:01:02,555 Come on. 1688 02:01:02,714 --> 02:01:03,714 Sit down, you. 1689 02:01:04,841 --> 02:01:07,081 Only place she'll be visiting is you in fucking hospital. 1690 02:01:07,177 --> 02:01:08,975 - Do you hear? - Just leave him alone, Dean! 1691 02:01:09,137 --> 02:01:11,390 Eggsy, just go. Please, just go, babe. 1692 02:01:12,849 --> 02:01:14,146 All right. 1693 02:01:14,309 --> 02:01:15,856 That's it, do as Mummy says. 1694 02:01:16,019 --> 02:01:18,863 Why don't you ask that tailor friend of yours, and knock up a nice chicken costume. 1695 02:01:19,022 --> 02:01:20,399 It'll suit you, you mug. 1696 02:01:22,650 --> 02:01:25,449 As a good friend once said... 1697 02:01:26,738 --> 02:01:27,864 "Manners... 1698 02:01:29,783 --> 02:01:30,783 "maketh... 1699 02:01:33,328 --> 02:01:34,329 "man." 1700 02:01:35,205 --> 02:01:37,549 - Dean? - Shut the fuck up. 1701 02:01:37,707 --> 02:01:40,130 Eggsy, I'm gonna shove your manners up your fucking... 1702 02:01:46,090 --> 02:01:47,090 So... 1703 02:01:47,342 --> 02:01:51,347 are we gonna stand around here all day, or are we gonna fight?