I'm not your average guy
What I'm putting on isn't make-up
It's a mask
Because my job requires it
Hi everyone, I'm Master Sammy
It's now time for the most popular beauty segment
We've invited legendary make-up artist Master Sammy
Let's see what he's got this time
Today, I'll show you how to do your make-up for work in 3 minutes
3 minutes, really?
Yes, it's the same amount of time to cook instant noodles
Oh my God!
All made-up in 3 minutes? That's amazing
Let's welcome our model Kiki
Hello everyone
Let's get started
We first need to apply some essence before make-up
Put a few drops in the middle of your palm
Apply it evenly over your face, massaging it for half an hour
Then we can... Master Sammy
You just said it would take 3 minutes
Now you're saying 30
Then how long does it take?
Make-up takes 3 minutes
The massage beforehand takes half an hour
Altogether, it'll be 90 minutes
Excuse me, as time is of the essence
Could we speed things up?
Let's start with a forehead massage
Put the essence on your forehead in upward strokes
And then downward strokes
When you reach your cheeks, push upwards to give it some lift
So that it'll firm up and become sharper and slimmer
Now, we'll massage along the lymph glands
Then along the decolletage and to the chest
Kiki
Why does your breathing sound so weird?
Sorry, Master Sammy
My nose is blocked, so I have to breathe with my mouth
That's about it for the massage
Master Sammy, please begin applying make-up now
Sure
Okay, what do we do after the lips?
Right, the brows
But remember, the thing about brows
Is never to draw them from the inner corner
Start in the middle
Then slowly sketch out your arch
And use an eyebrow brush
To spread it out evenly
Yinchuan
Mobile phone is not allowed in the oil fields
Please be safe
We'll be aware of it
Let's go to the exhibition hall now
Very well
I've bought everything we need
And everything we don't
What time is it?
I need to call my baby
The technology used in our oil fields...
Hello
Why didn't you answer my call earlier?
You can't use mobile phone in the oil fields
What's the matter?
Guess who I'm with?
Guess what we had for lunch?
Guess whether I missed you?
I'm very busy
Tell me you love me, quick, tell me!
Love you love you... love you!
Ridiculous!
Mr. Chan
Did you just hang up with your lover?
We're having a business meeting here
You're dead to me!
Hello
Clerk Chan, you hung up on me!
How dare you!
She hung up on me!
Mr. Chan, hasn't it happened to you before?
I also hung up on my wife once
I had to spend 5 million...
On a diamond necklace before she would stop hassling me
Why didn't you tell me earlier?
How about this
Buy your lover a toy
The bigger, the more expensive, the better
A... Big... Toy?
Boss
Where is Miss?
Miss? She's over there brewing in her anger
Dream
What slimming exercises did you learn today?
The program on TV was teaching this
I'll show you
One, two, three, four...
Straight back, slim ankles...
Any good?
I measured
I'm already one inch slimmer
Let's see if you've got a muffin top
What's it got to do with you?
Alright!
That's for you!
Silly you!
You've bought so much cosmetics
You must've spent a few thousand
More than a few thousand. I bought an entire company
It's a Chinese brand
From now on, you're the boss of this company
Why did you do that?
I'm busy and don't have enough time for you
And I know you like make-up
So I bought this big toy
No...
I mean, this company, especially for you
So that you'll have something to do
Thank you! Baby!
You're crushing my belly... I can't breathe
But I only use cosmetics, I don't know how to run a company
Silly
I have an oil company, but do I extract it myself?
If you can't manage, go find someone
And you'll just have to manage that person
If you suddenly find that you can't button up
The dress you need to wear, what do you do?
Master Sammy knows!
Can I have your autograph, Master Sammy?
One by one, no hurry
Have you tried out my techniques?
Thank you, Sammy
Miss, what is this?
A contract
A contract?
Are you alright?
Yes of course
You see, I've just bought a cosmetics company
And I want to hire you as our CEO
Miss, I'm fully occupied
I need to host TV shows and teach
That's alright
You've signed the contract, so if you don't come to work
I'll get a lawyer to sue you
This is highway robbery!
You're wasting my time
10 million a year. In cash. All yours!
10 million?
Still considering?
Dream, let's go!
Go!
Oh money, you are so evil Wa it...
Just broke up?
He said I'm ugly, he doesn't love me anymore
You just can't see your beauty
Liar. I'm not beautiful at all
You just haven't discover your beauty
Who cares if he doesn't love you
The important thing is to love yourself
But I'm really not beautiful at all
If you don't mind, give me a few minutes
I can prove how beautiful you really are
Your eyes and eyebrows naturally form the Golden Ratio
Only 2% of women in the world have that
Can you hear your beauty is crying for attention?
So pretty
I guarantee all living creatures
Will skip a heartbeat when they see you
Thank you
Confidence!
Thank you!
Goodbye beautiful!
You did her make-up?
Women will do anything for beauty
And no woman thinks they're truly ugly
I'm Arnold Cheng
An average cosmetician and salesperson
I have a good understanding of most women, except one...
Hello (Korean)
Hello (Thai)
Hello! (French)
How are you? (French)
Can I help you, Arnold?
Would you be writing...
A story about air hostesses?
You got me again
I'm just messing around
The publisher said air hostess stories are selling well recently
My next story will be about an air hostess and a flight captain
In a romance that endures life and death
Now I need the feeling of being a flight attendant
I'm going to the airport to get to know a flight captain
Maybe two
And start dating them
Captain, please
Where are we above now?
Wherever you want to be
Don't we have to transit?
We can't possibly ignore the control tower
Because of you
My life has reached a point of transit
From now on...
What you control are my emotions and my life
My life and entire aeroplane is in your hands now
Isn't that irresponsible?
It's because I've taken you on as my responsibility
I'm willing to be irresponsible to everyone else
You can't be like that
What's happening?
Nothing much, just crashing down
Seriously?
Romance that endures life and death?
I don't want life and death!
Save me...
You've arrived
I'm here to redeem my free gift
This coupon
Is overdue
But I've reserved one for you
Why, thank you
Work hard on your novel
It never sells when I write in my own name
When I use someone else's name, it becomes really popular
She's Mona
My first girlfriend
Whenever she writes, she really gets into her story
So much that...
She'll be the protagonist
And search for love
There are two reasons why she'll come to me
One is cosmetics
The other is when she's going through a break-up
Good morning Sir
Miss Chim is expecting you
It's right at the end of the corridor
The receptionist is already such a looker, I wonder what'll be down there?
Boss, there's a whole room of beauties waiting
This place is huge, why don't I take you in?
Awesome! I'm going to rent out the whole place!
I want lots of women... You're so naughty...
Oh, don't do that, Boss
But I want to!
There are so many more inside, let me go...
Sammy? Sammy...
Hi!
I'm alright, I'll know the way
I'm Better
Better
I'll remember you
Hello, Sammy
I'm Chim's secretary, Memo
Please follow me
Good morning, Sammy
Good morning Good morning
Sammy, there's something I keep forgetting to tell you
Please don't be offended
What is it?
I forget to tell you that all our staff is female
It would have been alright if you hadn't said it, but now...
I do feel offended You are?
So very much
Hello, Sammy I'm finding this so very offensive!
Here's some information for you
Thank you
Let me introduce you all to
Our new CEO, Sammy
Hello
I'll like to express with my body language
so that our Boss will understand
Welcome, everyone!
I'm so... nervous...
Breathe, breathe...
I think... I think...
That as long as we have a dream, anything is possible
As long as we're willing to work hard...
Even if others look down upon us...
We must have faith in ourselves!
We must work hard!
Thank you!
Who are you?
She's Claire, your assistant
What... what did you say?
She's Claire, your assistant
The tea lady is my assistant?
Hello Master Sammy, I'm Claire
I've watched your shows. You look even more handsome in real life
So I look ugly on TV?
No, you're even better looking in real life
Which department where you under before?
Initially I was hired as a temp for the operations department
And then they needed staff in marketing
So I went over there to do advertising and events
And because I know a bit of chemistry
I also went to the lab and helped with testing
I took some courses in accounting, and they happened to need an accountant
And then I became a Chartered Accountant and helped out for a few months
Alright...
I'm getting a headache just listening to you
In any case, you're my secretary
To be exact, I'm your assistant
Your secretary is Creamy
Who's Creamy?
The girl over there
And you?
Master Sammy, let me explain
There's a big difference between a secretary and an assistant
A secretary's duties and an assistant's duties...
Should I go through the finer points now?
Hold it, you're making me deaf
Let me make this clear, don't call me Master Sammy
Just Sammy will do
I understand, Master Sammy
Master Sammy, I'm very happy to be of service
Forget it, you can leave now, thanks
Goodbye
It's been a while
I can't imagine that Arnold Cheng, top of the class at make-up school
Has ended up a salesperson after so many years
Neither can I imagine that the macho guy
Is now that sissy Master Sammy
It's just a job
Same here
I want you to help me
And be in charge of Beauty's most luxurious counter in Central
I'm so free here in this neighborhood counter
Chatting up housewives. How can I deal with those
Posh ladies who lunch in Central?
If you can deal with housewives, you can deal with those ladies
You don't want to be stuck in here all your life, do you?
We need to establish homegrown brands
Every woman in China is waiting for us
What's the salary?
What do you think?
Hello!
Incapable women are always the most powerful women
What are you talking about?
When a man no longer loves you
There's no difference
Whether you treat him well or badly
Eileen Zhang Ai Ling said that
Zhang's become a hit again recently
My publisher asked me to write in that era
under the name Aylin Zhang
So people might buy my book by mistake
Why did you come What brings you here today?
I got a new job
I'm now in charge of a make-up counter in a department store
You ask if it's worthy to love you
But you must know
Love isn't about...
What's worth it
Eileen Zhang's novels are from a long time ago
They're popular again?
Ip Man's from a long time ago too
People are rushing to make movies about him
Raymond Wong did it, and now Wong Kar-wai
He's found Tony Leung to do it
It's been taking so long, who knows when they're going to finish
It's a joke
When Ip Man meets Aylin Zhang
Ip Man, from Fo Shan Wing Chun
That's so cool!
I meant your hat
It's nothing
May I enquire the purpose of today's meeting?
I heard that Ms. Aylin is a master in the art of love
Which propelled me embark on this visit
Hopes that I would be able to learn from you, Ms. Aylin, about love
Does it mean that you want to date me?
Indeed, but...
I'm not well learned in the art of dating
That's why I'd like to meet you
If we're dating we'd have to hold hands
Have you ever held a girl's hand?
I'm not really good at holding hands
But pushing hands is another matter
I've never tried pushing hands
Is it romantic?
If you wouldn't mind me saying
I think it's more fun than holding hands
Really?
Then can you teach me?
Very well
Ms. Aylin
Have you eaten?
Not yet
Neither have I
Hope that one day pushing hands will be as great as holding hands
Interesting
I think I'll write that!
Go and read some novels, and stop hassling me
Mona likes to put perfume in her ink
She says it's more romantic that way
She particularly likes writing in this bookshop
It's like her office
She is the type of person who dreams all day
She often says things that I don't understand
Why were you my first boyfriend?
Why weren't you my last boyfriend?
Sometimes I wonder...
What would happen to me without you
But I also want to know
What is the 'what' that would happen
I'll sign after finish reading it
Alright Honey!
Baby...
Surprise!
Why did you come all the way to Yinchuan?
I came to see you
Oh I'm sorry
You're his Mrs
I've heard a lot about you
Girlfriend, Dream
Girlfriend Dream, pleasure to meet you
Pleasure to meet you Please take a seat
Honey...
Yes?
Do you remember which special day it is today?
Of course
I'm going to sign a contract with Director Zhang today
We're going to celebrate tonight, you can come too
Assist her outside where she can wait
Miss Chim, please come with me
You really don't remember?
It's the day we sign the contract
It's not important anymore!
Dream! Dream...
There she goes again
What day is it today?
You're doomed, Boss
It's Miss Chim's birthday today
Birthday?
Mr. Chan, you're so dead
Whatever, let's get the contract signed
Boss, I'm going now
Not having a proper meal?
This is my birthday dinner
It's you're birthday today?
Yep
Happy birthday!
Where's your birthday cake?
Oh, I get it
You must be snacking while you wait for Mr. Chan
He forgot about my birthday
All he wants is to make money
To him, business is everything
Do all men think that women's birthdays aren't important?
Of course not, they are awfully important
I remember all my sisters' birthdays
Really? Really
Come with me
Where to?
Come on, quick
Where... where are we going?
I want you to give me flowers
Boss
This is the only place where you can still buy flowers at this hour
So please take these
I don't know when...
My boyfriend began to rely on his secretary to do everything
It's been so long since I've received flowers from him in person
To women, it's not about the flowers
It's the thought that counts
I want cake too!
Cake too?
I want that one
Miss, you can't have it, it's mine
You haven't pay for it, how could it be yours?
That lady said...
She'd reserve it for me when it goes on sale later tonight
From a profitability perspective
If I'm able to afford the original price while she can't
Of course she'd sell it to me
Miss, I'm buying this cake
It's for my granddaughter
Her parents have both passed away
She's never had a birthday cake in her life
Could you...
Forget it
You can get a cake anytime, this one is so important to her
Just let her have it, Boss
I don't care, I want it!
Let's make a wish
Ok!
Let's blow the candles!
One, two, three
Yay! Happy birthday!
Thank you so much
You're welcome
Do you like it?
Yes!
I always thought that on my birthday...
I would want others to make me happy...
But I feel even happier if I did good for someone else
Let's take a photo
Sweetie, can you help?
Press here
Ready...
One, two, three
Boss...
You don't need to worry about skipping Miss Chim's birthday anymore
She had a great time
She was happy without me?
She said so on her blog, see for yourself
Is that a boy's hand?
No it's not
It's a man's hand!
Everyone, we've got plenty of choices to film our UV range advertisement
We can go to outer space, deserts, yachts
Even a swimming pool in Africa
Hello? Dream, it's your baby
Guess what I'm going?
I'm busy right now, call you later
Say you love me
Love you love you... love you! Carry on
A yacht would be ideal, the models have good figures
They can all wear bikinis
Hold on
We're talking about the filming next week
I might not be able to find a decent yacht in such a short time
Hello? Hello?
Smoothie... Yes
Are you Smoothie? I said yes!
I need to film an ad next week
Let me borrow one of your yachts
Which one? Just the most standard one will do
I have so many, it's fine
Really? Thank you
Bye
Done
I'm sorry Miss Chim
The person who just offhandedly lent you a yacht is...
He wouldn't be the multi-billionaire...
Whose nickname is Smoothie?
Yes
We're good friends
I heard that he's single
You have a chance
Why didn't anyone tell me about this meeting?
I am the Marketing Director after all!
They said you were busy, we didn't want to disturb you
But it's alright, we've already decided
To film the next week's ad on a yacht
Come along if you're free
Claire
Pack up
Yes, Master Sammy Boss, that's it for the meeting
Oh my God! The sun is killing me
I can't imagine how much whitening I have to do to stay fair
I know!
Which evil person suggests filming this ad on sea?
He'll be cursed with bad luck for sure!
Let's get some wind
I want to exude an ethereal feeling for them
Okay. Sure, sure
Give me some shade here?
It's Smoothie! He's coming!
Smoothie's coming!
What are they doing?
What shall we do?
I heard he just broke up with his girlfriend
If he lays his eyes on me, I'll be rich!
I'm going for it no matter what!
Ready! Go!
Hi
Hi, I'm Jodi, the Marketing Director at Beauty
I'm Social, Jodi's secretary
I'm Creamy, Sammy's secretary
All these women... I'm suffocating...
Help! All these women...
Hi! I'm the CEO of Beauty
A man...
A man!
A man... a man...
Thank you so much
You're welcome
I'm Sammy by the way
Are you... afraid of women?
Every one of them is just trying to scam me for money
All they want is money. You know what I'm saying?
Take a break
It's a bit dirty there, rub it off Yes
How about...
The one who came up just then?
Which one?
The one who was scrubbing the floors
How about Cinderella?
She specializes in heavy labor
Very pretty
A pretty lady doing heavy labour
But Cinderella might want to scam me too
Do you want to try?
Can I?
Money!
Lots of money!
She's no exception
You know what I'm saying?
I know. But...
Miss, did you lose $5000?
No
Did you lose $5000?
Miss, excuse me, is this yours?
Master Sammy, I found $5000
The person who lost it must be really upset
Master Sammy lent me this spare change, and I lost it
I didn't bring any cash with me today, Cinderella
Hello Mr. Smoothie
Please call me Claire
Hello?
Hello
Are you Miss Claire?
Yes
My name is Kawai
I'm Mr. Bill Liu, a.k.a. Smoothie's secretary
My boss would like to invite you to dinner
So He's wondering if you would be free
Mr. Smoothie wants to ask me out for dinner?
Wait... wait a second What?
Then just say yes!
Alright...
Okay
Sorry, it's still Kawai here
What would you like to eat?
Fast food shop? No...
The fast food shop below my office, on the left
Fast food shop?
Sure, I've never tried one in my life
Tomorrow night 8 o'clock
Okay
Let's rent the whole place out, as usual
Boss, you can't rent out fast food shops
Well, then get everyone else out
Yes, Boss
Excuse me, sir
Here's a little something, please go to another restaurant
Excuse me, ladies
Please go to another restaurant Miss Claire!
Mr. Smoothie, you really came!
I arranged the date, of course I'd come
I thought you mightn't be used to a place like this
I come to this restaurant everyday!
Please
Waitress!
Mr. Smoothie, it's self-service here
What do you mean?
I've always had service when I need it
Welcome! Please take a look at what you'd like to order
Well, what's your specialty?
Is your Executive Chef in?
Give me a suggestion
We have everything on the menu
We have a Japanese hot pot set
With grain-fed beef and prawns
or grain-fed beef and drunken chicken
As for the soup base...
Let's have that hot pot, they're famous for it
You want hot pot? Let's have it then
Add $10 you'll also get a large jar of grape juice
How much would it be if I want a bottle of '82 Lafite?
How about a jar of '82 Ribena, it's made out of grapes too
Right, so that'll be all
Thank you
That'll be $105, please
Card or cash?
$105?!
It's my treat
Card, please
Please swipe here
No reaction, you're out of money
What? You're kidding
I just bought an aeroplane with this card
Try another one
None of them works. Use cash
Rich people don't carry cash around
Shing!
Why don't you let it be my treat?
You're... treating... me?
Mr. Smoothie, are you alright?
I'm so touched
No woman has ever paid for my dinner before
Even my mother only gave me milk
Dream!
The TV has changed
The cosmetics have changed
The pillows have changed
The duvet has changed
The bed sheets have changed
Even the mattress has changed
Does she want to have me changed too?
I've bought you
The most decadent diamond necklace in South Africa
Thank you Look...
It's so bright that... I can't open my eyes
I need to sleep!
I've been trying to get hold of this real estate tycoon's daughter
I didn't even hear from her once
How horrible
Smoothie calls and she comes running
Maybe she thinks our offer is genuinely sincere
I hope so
Hi!
Hello Victoria
Call me Miss Lee
So you're my ex's new gal?
That's her
Am I talking to you?
I don't even know you
He's our company's...
Miss Lee is very busy, you got 5 minutes
This is our proposal
We hope to be a tenant at one of your company's counters
I'm sure you understand, that among our competitors
Our counters' sales have been doing quite well
We hope to set up in your shopping mall...
Hello? Hello?
Your new gal is right in front of me
What do you want?
You might think it's subjective, but I don't think she's pretty
What do you think?
She's average
You heard
I know we've broken up
But at least give me some respect
Don't just randomly pick up anybody
People were mocking me last night
They said my ex is dating a cheap nobody
I was so sad that I cried all night
The magazines say she used to living in public housing
Oh, please! I only agreed to see her for your sake
So sad!
Bi... tch!
Are you talking to me?
Yes I'm talking to you bitch
You stinky bitch, stupid bitch
Even your mother's a bitch!
Bitch, bitch, bitch...
You freakin' bitch!
Bitch!
She's horrible enough, and there's a whole 5 ft 11 of her
And watch out for those baubles below
Hey bitch's Sec, that's exactly 5 minutes
Let's go
Bye Miss Bitch
You heard them, they called me a bitch!
Put them on the black list! Black list!
Bitch, so déclassé
Why are you leaving in such a hurry?
Hold on...
I'm sorry, Master Sammy
Please give me a minute
What happened?
Are you alright? I'm fine...
Give me a minute, I'm fine
No, don't let it brew inside
What's wrong?
I think I'm not going out with Mr. Smoothie anymore
Miss Bitch was right
I'm not good enough for him
The guy didn't say he's gonna ditch you
You're usually so optimistic
It's just a façade, I'm actually very insecure
I pretend to be optimistic to hide my pessimism, you got it?
Don't worry about anything now
Put yourself together. You can't lose to that woman
When it comes to love, there's no such thing as being good enough
You can only love and not love
I have every confidence in you
Here's a wager
If you don't get married
I'll do anything you ask
If you do get married, I win
So you won't lose either way, right?
Thank you
Thank you, Master Sammy
Oh but
We didn't get the counter just then...
What should we do?
Don't worry
Just watch what that bitch has to say to Smoothie
The most crucial thing in life
Is to know what to say to yourself
Master Sammy
You suddenly seem so macho
In what way do I look like a macho man?
Ah, no, you don't look macho after all
Have you seen her...
Hanging out with suspicious characters?
I suspect Dream might be cheating on me
No
No? Look!
A pervert's hand, right on her chest!
This ring is the only clue
Such small crescent on his nails...
His kidneys must be weak
What are you doing?
Checking if my kidneys could be weak
How dare this man touch my woman
I must catch this adulterer!
What are you doing?
My back feels dry. It's a little itchy,
I'll put some moisturizer on later
I asked around
It costs 80 thousand to buy his hand
150 thousand to finish him off, then I'm in peace forever
Isn't that a good bargain?
No way.
Boss, we must abide by the law in Hong Kong
I'm just kidding, I'm not a barbarian
But when I lose patience...
I don't joke around
I become another man
Rest assured Boss, give me some time
I'll find a private investigator and have it all fixed
Good. I'm leaving
Alright
Jesus, he's scary
Have you found the adulterer?
I don't think we'll be able to so quickly
I'm losing patience
I need to know all the men Dream saw
On her birthday
Boss
Sammy
Memo, tell me all the men Dream saw
On her birthday
That day...
I remember she saw you, Master Sammy
The manager of the counters, Mr. Cheng
She got a snack delivery, and said the delivery boy was cute
Call Cheng right away
And I need to see the cute delivery boy
Boss, that's genius
The guy will never be able to hide from you
What's the hurry?
The big boss wants to see us
Be careful. He has a weird obsession with hands
What do you mean?
If he likes your hands, he'll refuse to let go of them
And will keep kneading and fondling them
Just for a little while, right?
For a whole day
There you are
This is our big boss
Hello! Arnold Cheng
Food delivery, anyone?
Yes, come here, I'll pay
My boss is very welcoming
In a moment he'll shake hands with you
Even the delivery boy gets a handshake?
Here's a $1000
Plus a ring. So will you shake now?
Of course!
Who wants a handshake? Who...
You're the cutie?
Yes, even my mother calls me that
You didn't say we had to shake this long
There's four of us, let's play mahjong
Sure!
But can we play in the office?
I'm the boss and I say we can
Right, whatever the boss says
To be frank
Doing deliveries is just a part-time job
I've travelled the world on numerous tournaments
My real identity is the God of Mahjong
So let's begin
What's up? Don't you have a job to do?
Back to work! Go!
Back to work!
Let's play
Why aren't you shuffling?
Yeah, why not?
Oh
Why are you wearing gloves?
I'm afraid my hands will get allergic to these mahjong
No, take them off
Alright
What's wrong with your nails?
Boss, I'm in the beauty business
I need to try new products
Wipe it off
This nail polish is made out of asphalt
I said wipe it off!
Okay
We're playing Taiwanese version
My mother's Taiwanese, I learned to play when I was a kid
I'm not quite familiar, please spare me
Here goes
What's happened?
Why isn't anyone here?
So why are you still looking?
I didn't ask you to look. I've already played
So quickly?
I think I've scored
It's liguligu, scored without playing
That's 90 points 90?
Superb! I'm lucky!
90 points?
We're all Cantonese, let's play Cantonese version
Taiwanese mahjong has no technique... Shit!
2 circles 3-of-a-kind!
3-of-a-kind!
About to win
3-of-a-kind!
I don't believe you'll win with this!
Well, I just did
You discarded the tile, so thanks to you
That can't be
It's just luck
Again...
Wait...
I want to change seats. I'll change with you
That's fine with me
Wait...
Let's play Beijing version this time
My new girlfriend is from Beijing
In Beijing mahjong, the biggest trump is...
Hunting for 5
What's that?
Hunting for 5 is hunting for 5
That means you have 4 and 6, and missing 5 in the middle
Don't Bullshit me!
Why did you ask then?
Just asking
See what the God of Mahjong has got?
I'm not playing that one, this one is better
West
4-of-a-kind
4-of-a-kind!
Again
I told you I was in luck today
I hunt the 5!
I hunt the 5...
You guys tried to con me first
I'm not in your way, am I? Thanks
Com'on, it's just a game
You're the cheat!
Put the knife down!
I'm going to give you a good stabbing!
Put the knife down first!
This is a game, let's show some manners
You're scaring me
You're scaring me too
Jesus, what are you doing with that knife
Thank god he's never lost money to me
All three of you are cheaters!
You even want to cheat on a delivery boy?
A multi-billionaire like him
Doesn't need to scam spare change like this
You all made me do it
What do you want now?
A gun?
Sichuan version! We're changing seats
I will fight to the end!
Yes! I've won!
Same here, let's see which of you is the loser
Nine bamboos
Here comes the God of Mahjong!
Look again, it's a false call
A false call indeed, God of Mahjong
Hold!
Why are we stopping? I've lost the most
I'll pay for it
Hold!
Come, see if this looks similar
Isn't this your hand?
Not now
Now it's exactly the same
Thank you so much You're welcome
Who's hand is this?
It wouldn't be yours, would it?
You adulterer!
Pretend to be a sissy to flirt with girls!
Clerk Chan! You need to make it clear
If we were married, he'd be an adulterer
Uh oh, big trouble
It couldn't be worse than your false call
You never said you'd marry me
And yet you're suspicious of me?
Dream! Dream!
Dream! Dream...
Boss, are you alright?
That's dramatic
Stop looking
He's worth billions, quick, help him up
Have a seat first
Do you need a doctor?
What did I do wrong?
Why did she treat me like this?
I can't help you this time
You adulterer!
Why would I still be here if I were the adulterer?
Waiting for you to have me killed?
You have a point
Look at you, there's only money in your eyes
You think that money can solve all problems
Do I look that bad?
Get up, let me do a skin test for you
Come on, stand still...
Spread your legs, and do as I'm doing
Alright, bend over
My tummy's in the way
Then tuck it in
Good, stay there
One, two, three
What were you filming?
Nowhere else but your expression
The test is very simple
If you face is totally deformed on the photo
It reflects that your skin is aging rapidly Really?
What is this?
Let me see
I'm really that ugly, huh?
That's what you look like, face it
Master Sammy, you're the beauty expert, help me
I know a really good plastic surgeon in America
He can keep secrets and is really skilled. I'll pass you his details
Plastic surgery? What will he do?
Well, it depends on how you want to look
If you want to look 3-7 years younger,
then you can do a few facelifts
Then get botox – perfect!
What if I want to look 20 or 30 years younger?
A piece of cake. Come here
Just close your eyes and jump out of that window
Then you won't only be younger, you'll have a new life
Boss, I'm joking
I don't want this ugly face, nor this big gut
I hereby announce that I will hire Master Sammy
As my stylist!
One thing that men should learn from women
Is that no matter what you look like
You mustn't give up on making yourself look better
Staying slim can be done anytime, anywhere
Perseverance is the key
Don't come out once you're in Okay
Lock him up!
Is it new?
Please take a look, it's this season's newest range
Where is this brand from?
It's a reputable local brand
Local?
Then it must be cheap
Even crappy brand can sell here? It's the beginning of the end
The whole mall's been degraded
When it comes to cosmetics
I always choose European brands
Or at the very least "Made in Japan"
But never a Chinese brand
I wonder if it's cement or really foundation
Cement? Will it corrode my skin?
It even looks like lime
Please allow me to say
Our local brand isn't bad at all
The production standards are higher than those European brands
Take a look at this colour
My quality is better
My requirements are more stringent
I warn you, don't you dare touch me
If you touch my face, I'll sue you to hell!
Even the lipstick looks bizarre
Doesn't look like he knows blush from a brush
Brands that we've never even heard of
Probably don't hire decent staff anyway
Looks like we can't shop here anymore
The brands are so random
I'm so going to complain
Please... Fine, run away, you cowards!
Your skin is rough and dull
The tracks of your tears are so deep
I bet you probably cry yourself to sleep every night
You just use heavy make-up to hide the loneliness and emptiness
How did you know?
A lighter foundation will make you look brighter
With "shy blush" you'll have a young girl's blush
Which will reveal a youthful shyness in you
You think fake eyelashes will make your eyes look bigger
That's lying to yourself and freaking others out
Ladies!
Think you're gorgeous?
That's great!
I need to buy this! I need to buy your make-up!
Me too... Me too...
One after one...
You saw me. Was it too over the top?
I've known you for so long
Yet I never would have guessed that you're a lady-killer
How on earth you're so good at it?
You want to know?
Come to my house after work
Sure
Call me later
Hello?
Grandma, I'm bringing a friend home for dinner tonight
A friend?
Oh good, come back soon then
Who was that?
Arnold said he's bringing a friend home for dinner
Your brother's bringing his girlfriend home for dinner
What? Really? Yes
Big sister!
Brother said he's bringing his long-term girlfriend home for dinner
Really?
Finally... Mum... What is it?
Brother's been having a girlfriend all these years
He's bringing her to dinner tonight
Really?
That's great news!
What's the fuss?
Your uncle's bringing his fiancé over tonight
To talk about their wedding
Grandma
Uncle's getting married soon
He's back today to talk about the wedding
Tell them to prepare
Why didn't he say so on the phone?
Yes
I didn't know your family had a pet shop
It's a pet salon
I do make-up for people, my family does it for cats and dogs
Anything wrong with that?
Of course not Come in, you must be hungry
Do you have dog food?
Cat food will fill you up too
I'm back on time for dinner again
A man?
You know him? Sammy?
Hi Helen
My sister Helen
My nephew
Hi!
Let's eat
Grandma, mother, auntie, bon appetit
First sister, second sister, little one, bon appetit
You are keeping fit, have vegetables
Sammy, you should eat too
I can't stand it anymore
I'm sorry, what can't you stand?
Let's eat Help yourself
You family only eats prawns?
Because I like them
Arnold, how long have you two known each other?
That's a long time
We used to go to make-up school together
And later, he asked me to work at his company
Well... did you notice that...
The straw used to be straight
But it's interesting
That now it can be shaped into a curve
Or into all sorts of shapes
Like a screwdriver
Or a heart
I really can't stand it no more!
It's just a new style of straw
Mommy, what can't you stand no more?
Stop calling Mommy, I'm very conservative
The straight straw was fine, why bend it on purpose?
That's nothing wrong
It's quite convenient
Better than a straight one that keeps poking the throat
You think it's interesting?
Indeed It's so fun
In any case...
Even bent ones can be made straight again
Straws are so weird
The more you bend the harder to straighten them again
It gets soft on both sides eventually and loses its strength, look...
What do you mean?
It lost its strength, so we'll throw it away
What's going on?
I had enough!
I'm telling you, I will not allow you and Arnold to be a couple!
A couple?
Brother, if this is embarrassing you, we can stop talking about it
I formally announce that
I'm as straight as this chopstick!
And you?
That's none of your business
Although you've learnt about women from them
But they don't represent all women
At least I'm pretty good at selling cosmetics
I'm taking you to meet other types of women tonight
Definitely not THAT kind?
They're my make-up models
Hello!
They're really cool
Let's have fun!
Not afraid of women anymore?
Sammy
Thanks for inviting me tonight
I really think you understand me
Less is more, what's natural is beautiful
Don't drink too much
Enough chatting for you three
Do you want to improve your make-up skills?
Then you have to ask my friend
You should each toast him and then ask him to teach you
Okay
Hello?
Yes, Sammy speaking
I think it's Room 102
Alright, see you
There are more models coming?
It's your girlfriend, who is my assistant too
She has a few documents for me to sign
There are so many women here
Will she get the wrong idea when she's here?
Hard to avoid
Then what should I do?
I'd better leave
You shouldn't be so serious
If you don't want upset someone
Not even a little teeny weeny upset
And not even get a bit of the wrong idea
Then you know you're for real
I understand now
I'm going
Claire didn't say where she was
Wouldn't that be worse if you bump into her like this?
Then what should I do?
Dress up like a woman
What?
Do I look like a woman now?
Yes, you're as pretty as a flower
Give us a spin
Now bounce, make sure everything's in position
Words can't describe what I'm going through right now
I'd like to sing a song
Which song?
Gong Linna's "Heartbeat"
"Heartbeat"
Can I punch you? Don't!
Master Sammy...
What took you so long?
Is this your friend?
Hello, I'm Claire
You look familiar
How could that be?
I'm from Dongbei, my name is Snowy
Hello, I'm Claire
Don't think you can touch her just because she looks good.
Could you sign the documents first?
Hurry up then Thank you
You've turned them upside down
You really do look familiar
He's a Northeast Indian, plus a little Bengali
And a bit of Thai kind of mix
Among the beauties, she's the finest!
Oh stop staring, all pretty girls look familiar!
Clerk Chan, don't you dare run anywhere
Stop playing hide and seek with me
Miss... Miss Chim
Why do you look so nervous?
Feeling guilty?
Where's the boss?
I can't tell you
You're all perched pretty on the boss's chair
I'm dispensable to him now
Where is he? I need to see him
I still can't tell you
Are you going to tell me or not?
I'll have you fired!
Go ahead, boss said...
If you fire me, he'll hire me back
Miss Chim, just cry out loud if you want to
While you're going to a formal event
If you had to wear make-up and glasses at the same time
I suggest you wear frameless glasses
But remember, they must suit your eyebrow and eye shape
Right, I have two boxes of glasses here
Choose a pair that suits you the most
For example, her eyebrows have a more rounded arch
So a round pair of glasses would suit her
Here Thank you!
Good!
One more thing
That's the colour of your eye shadow. To look good...
It should contrast strongly with the temple of your glasses
Delivery
Who ordered dessert from Xiao Tian Gu?
Me! I did!
Hello everyone!
I asked someone to order it... Who did I ask?
Your secretary, Kawaii
Kawaii ordered it
Hello everyone!
Mr. Smoothie, you're here! Yes
Let me help you with that
I heard that employees
Are always doing overtime
So I want to treat you desserts
And I miss you so much!
Wow, that's a lot of affection
Thank you Smoothie!
An enviable couple!
I miss her so much!
Which one do you want? I'll get it for you
I don't mind
She's famous for her milk
It's so nice of you
Master Sammy, would you like a mango pudding?
Sure, thanks
Stop working for a second, have some dessert
Here, I'll feed you
Have some while it's warm
Wow, so sweet!
It stings my eyes
Let me finish up first, I'll have it in a while
We're dating now
It's your turn to feed me
Here...
I'll feed you!
Why?
You're so chubby and cute, like a baby
Come, let me feed you
I suddenly feel so maternal
It's fun Fun, yeah?
You should have some too
Mona, where are you? I'm in Causeway Bay
I'm at your 11 o'clock
There are so many people over there
Come over, quickly
Ladies, look this way please
Mona
Hey?
What are you doing?
Doing some snapshots
How about... we go...
What?
Hey man, you can't be so selfish
You can't take her for a one-on-one photo shoot.
No way...
She just flashed at everyone. Flash! Where?
What are you doing here?
Teen model photos are all the rage now
You know, those models can't really write
I can ghost write autobiographies on their behalf
Don't you think I look really pretty today?
I've never been photographed like this in my life
I feel amazing!
Stop!
Please stop taking photos, please stop...
Stop!
I don't care if I offend you
What are you trying to do?
Yesterday you're a flight attendant, today you're... Lady Gaga
So what?
What am I supposed to do?
Be yourself
Everyone should be themselves
Can I?
These...
I wrote these novels
I bring them to the publisher every time
But no one wants them
You think I like dressing up as a flight attendant?
You think I enjoy being a ghost writer?
But no one wants me
No one wants Mona!
No one wants me...
It's sunrise
I can't do this, I need sleep
Go take a nap, Master Sammy
I'll finish it for you
Ok, I'll sleep for a while
Master Sammy
I know your secret
What secret?
You have a crush on me
That's not true!
You pretend to be a sissy, you've a crush on me for a long time
No, I don't...
Look me in the eye and say you don't like me
Say it!
I don't like you!
Look me in the eye and say you don't like me!
Look me in the eye and say you don't like me...
It won't stop?
Good morning
Calm down!
Are you talking to me?
No, I'm just talking to myself
In a situation like this, I can only think of three solutions
The first one...
Kowtow and beg her
I beg you... I beg you...
The second one...
Beat her up
But both are fairly difficult in execution
It seems that I must resort to the last solution...
Aside from money, the only thing that can appease a women is...
A man's body
I know we've broken up
But I don't like the woman you've chosen
I'm so jealous!
We've broken up
Women can be jealous even when they've broken up
I can't control myself
I purposely lost control of myself
You should find another man
They are only interested in my money
Then look for another rich guy
I know you still have feelings for me
If not
Why would you have done that to me?
It's my fault
I'm afraid I won't be able to control myself
I need to propose to Miss Claire!
But for such a well-off guy like me
I have everything
How should I know how to propose?
Can you help?
It's all about one magic word
Which word?
Damn it!
Rich people don't know it and neither do poor people
The best damn thing anyone can hope for is to marry me!
Even you'd want her to live a happy life
Don't worry
Prepare the three essentials for proposal
I'll arrange for you
Really?
Put this on
Now?
Tonight is important for you
Ok
Don't you know...
No one's ever given me so much attention
Have you heard?
Confidence
Is the best make-up you could ever wear
Let me apply confidence onto your face
Can you hold me like a man?
Hello?
Sammy, I've prepared the three essentials
Where are you?
Hello? Hello...
Cinderella, the one up there is your prince
I'm...
The mouse that drives your pumpkin carriage
Up you go
Your prince is waiting
Hello?
I can't say it!
Hold on
Hello?
Master Sammy, I don't know what to do
Hold on, I'll be quick.. Hello?
I told you I don't know how to ask for things!
I'm thinking... hold on
Pick up the bouquet
Hello?
I've got the bouquet
Wave it around a couple of times
Alright!
Master Sammy... Hello?
He's waving the bouquet around
Like he's welcoming me, not proposing
Now what?
Wrong one
Act horny
Acting horny's easier
Pick up the ring, kneel down and propose
I need to propose?
Oh no, it's all wrong
What are you doing?
I don't know, how about you?
Here, I propose
Have we completed the whole process?
I think so, I've never done it before
Let's celebrate then
Alright!
Who are you?
Clerk Chan!
Dream...
Dream
Where did you go?
Hey I'm talking to you.
Where were you all this time?
I went to a boot camp
Nonsense!
Where's your tummy?
Why are you so skinny now?
Are you sick?
No, silly!
I'm healthy as ever! Look...
Who did this to you?
Master Sammy did
I love him
I love him too
He gave me a lot of encouragement
Nothing is too difficult if you put your heart into it
I did this for myself too
But mainly it was for you
Will you marry me?
I love you
You look so... normal today
Don't you need to write?
I've thought it through
You were right
I should be myself
And stop being everyone else's substitute
I want to tell you that...
I'm getting married
Married? You're kidding right?
I'm really getting married
Why so sudden?
Congratulate me
Come on!
Congratulations
That's not from your heart
You have to say it from your heart
Smile and say, "congratulations"
Congratulations, ok?
I've chosen the little church we used to go to all the time
You still remember?
I'd like the wedding to be romantic and blissful
And I want you to do my make-up
You can't say no
It'll be your wedding present to me, ok?
My fiance and minister haven't arrive yet
You're beautiful today
Hurry, they're almost here
I don't know how to do your make-up
You don't know?
You're a professional make-up artist, how could you not know?
Usually when I do make-up
I'll picture the finished look in my head, but...
I can't do it this time
You've never imagined what I'd look like when I got married?
I have
A long time ago
When we were still together
So just think of that when you're doing it
When I thought of that look...
I was thinking you belonged to me
I don't care. Today, you will do
The most beautiful bridal make-up for me
So beautiful
Come with me
Stand here and don't move
Turn around
Why don't you come walk with me
No
Of course you can
You're here
We're practicing
Hello
Do you love her?
Of course I do
Very well, then promise me
That you'll only love her in your lifetime
I can't do that
She loves you, how could you do this to her?
It's nice that she loves me
But I need to love other people too
It's so selfish of her to think that way
Then how many do you need to love?
Well, the more the better
But sometimes we're short on people
There's not much I can do
That's ridiculous! Do you...
Do you... like it when they all come at once?
Of course, it's sharing
I also welcome you to join our big family
Are you crazy? Big family?
Bigamy is illegal, are you alright?
Are you alright? I'm just talking about sharing
Mona! I forbid you to marry this man!
He's not my fiance, he's the minister
You're hilarious!
Minister?
Just joking, Father
I'm sorry, Father
Father, excuse me I really am the minister
Sorry...
I've been waiting for you, excuse us
How's it going, is everyone here?
Yes, everyone's here
And the groom... Three of us
Are you kidding me again? Yes
I want to see how you'd react to me getting married
Mona, I don't have time to kid around with you
I quit playing, ok?
Arnold Cheng!
Eileen Zhang once said
There's always someone waiting for you
Regardless the time
Regardless the place
You'll know
That there's someone
I always thought that you are the one
I kid around
Because I know whenever I come back...
You'll always be waiting for me
You're the only person on earth
Who'll allow me to be so stubborn
I guess you're not going to wait for me anymore
Father, let's get married
Wait!
You're right
I'm not going to wait anymore
You once asked...
why I was your first boyfriend
And not your last.
I'm telling you that...
I'll be your last boyfriend
I'm going to marry you!
Father, I'm going to marry her!
That's good
But I'm in a hurry. Did you prepare rings?
Happy?
I haven't announce that you could exchange rings yet
Take it off
I'm going in
Maybe not
Congratulations...
Miss...
Miss Bitch, what are you doing here?
I didn't want to come
But I couldn't control myself
I've thought it through
About what?
That it's alright to watch the person you like marry someone else?
Quite the opposite
I came today to get my man back
I believe he'll only be happy if he was with me
You might think so!
If you really love someone...
You'll believe that you can give them the greatest happiness
So what can you do...
To give him the greatest happiness?
That's not your business
I have my ways
I even brought a gun
Don't stop me
That's intense
She's right
If you love somebody...
You should believe that you can give them the greatest happiness
Mr. Bill Liu
Will you take Miss Claire
The woman on your right
To be your lawfully wedded wife?
To have and to hold, for better or worse, for richer or poorer...
I want a wedding like this
Don't worry
Our wedding will be two times as big as this
I'm talking about how romantic it is, not the size
Understood
In sickness or in health, to love and to cherish
And pledge your faithfulness
Till death do you part?
That's a huge responsibility
So do you?
Could I speak first?
I'd always thought I was the best make-up artist
But that's not true
The best make-up isn't about hiding one's weaknesses
It's to highlight one's strengths
Just like love
You see their strengths
When you're in love
You can still spot their weaknesses
But you don't mind them
Make-up that's done well
Isn't a mask
But I've always used a mask to protect myself
You said you're insecure
But actually I'm the most insecure
I'm foolish enough to teach you how to date and propose
I sent the love of my life to someone else
So what do you want?
I've known all along
So while you were teaching me all that
You were actually
Hiding your love for me all along
I can't be in a relationship with a man
He's not talking to you
He's made himself very clear that...
Is he talking to you?
I really wasn't talking to you
Everybody freeze!
I'm here to get my man back!
Don't force me... Don't move...
Smoothie, you are not allowed to marry other women!
Be quiet!
If you're so insecure, why aren't you leaving now?
I know you love me, I'm not afraid of anything
Freeze, both of you!
No one in the world
Is as crazy as you
No one is as crazy about me as you
Calm down everyone!
Everything is under control!
I'm sorry, Mr. Smoothie
I really can't marry you
I can see that
I'm sorry, I can't marry you either
So, do you like men or women?
That's none of your business
I only pretend to be gay for my job
In those chaotic preceding minutes
Everyone has found their true love
Just as I do
Since there were some accidents during the ceremony
I propose we choose another date
To have our weddings together and double our happiness
All's well end's well!
What do you say, Dream?
I'm in your hands
Good!
Happy Chinese New Year!
All the best in the Year of the Rabbit!
Congratulations!