♪ Hey, yeah - I wanna shoop, baby ♪
♪ Shoop, hey. Shoop, hey. Shoop, hey. ♪
Kinda lonesome back here.
Little help here.
Excuse me!
- Whoo! - Dopinder
- Pool, Dead. - Why the fancy red suit, Mr. Pool?
Well that's because it's Christmas day, Dopinder, and I'm after someone on my naughty list.
You're probably thinking, this is a superhero movie but
that guy in the suit just turned that other guy into a fucking kebab.
Surprise! This is a different kind of superhero story.
To tell it right, we gotta take you back before I squeeze this ass in the spandex.
Mr. Wilson...
You've recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer.
We can fight this.
What if I told you we can cure you?
And give you abilities most men only dream of.
I'd say that you sound like an infomercial.
But not a good one, like Slapchop more Shake-weighty
If I never see you again, know that I love you.
When I'm finish, your mutated self will heal anything.
But you still think we're making you a superhero.
We're making you a super slave.
Oh come on, you're gonna leave me all alone with Jose Canseco?
Whatever they did to me, made me totally indestructible
And completely...
- Oh... - ...unfuckable.
You look like the inside of other people's assholes.
I didn't ask to be super.
And I'm no hero.
But when you find out, your worst enemy is after your best girl.
The time has come to be a fucking superhero.
Ah-ha ow.
Argh, right up Main Street.
Queue the music.
♪ X gon' give it to ya ♪
♪ Fuck wait for you to get it on your own ♪
♪ X gon' deliver to ya ♪
We can't allow this, Deadpool.
I don't have time for your X-men bullshit, Colossus.
Besides, nobody's getting hurt.
That guy was up there before we got here.
♪ Knock knock, open up the door, it's real ♪
I've played a lot of roles. Damsel-in-distress ain't one of them.
♪ First we gonna rock ♪
Time to make the Chimi-fucking-changas.
♪ Then we let it pop, don't let it go ♪
Have you seen this man?
I never say this...
...but don't swallow.
Shit.
Did I leave the stove on?
♪ X gon' give it to ya ♪
Hey, you're way too much dude for me.
That why I brought him.
I mean, that's why I brought her?
Oh, no. Finish your tweet.
Well then, that's fi- just give us a second.
Go get her, Tiger.
I so pity the dude who pressures her into prom sex.
♪ X gon' give it to ya ♪
Subtitles by Navin_Ad
(Subtitles for the first trailer can be downloaded on Subscene)